Chapter 4 Rowan
Rowan
My brain short-circuits as the Omega reaches her polished hand across the table. “Daisy Rose. The girl you rejected in high school.”
At first, the name doesn’t register. But then it repeats like an echo chamber in my mind, over and over, like a tolling bell, and just like that, I’m a smug seventeen-year-old again, sitting amidst my brothers in the school’s gymnasium.
There she was, this unassuming, unremarkable Omega bleeding her heart out to me and my twin brothers with that ridiculous poem. And in front of the entire student body, no less… At the time, I was outraged. Livid.
The audacity of her. How could she think, as an unremarkable Omega, that a couple of high-status males such as me and my brothers would ever want her? (I should point out that I was a major asshole back in high school. And I’m an even bigger one now at that.)
Except the girl sitting in front of me now is no longer unremarkable. In fact, now she’s… remarkable. No, that word doesn’t even come close to the fair-haired Omega.
Soft sea-green eyes, white-blonde curls, and a heart-shaped face with rose-colored lips. She’s every high-status Alpha’s dream.
And now I feel like a fool.
Of course, I should have realized back then that she was just an ugly, gray cygnet who had yet to grow into a swan.
Worst of all, she knows she’s a swan now, and she’s showing off her radiant white plumage. She’s fully aware that she’s leaving me speechless. Those rose-colored lips curve slightly as the beginnings of a smirk begin to appear, but I won’t let her get the best of me.
So, I do what I always do best and remain aloof. I can be that same indifferent jerk, the one who rejected her in high school, as I just stare at her hand.
I’m pretty sure the train carriage just grew even frostier; I can see my breath now.
“Oh… We went to high school together?” I reply, matter-of-factly.
Her smile falters, and then she drops her hand. “Yes. Don’t act as if you don’t remember.”
I feign indifference as I shrug my shoulders. “No. I can’t say that I recall. I rejected a lot of females back at school.”
Her gentle sea-green eyes shine slightly as she regards me incredulously. “Not like you rejected me…”
Silence flows between us as we just stare at each other for a time. The toddler across the aisle can’t stop staring at Daisy.
Daisy… I still remember how I pretended that I thought her name was Delta.
I’d be lying to myself if I said that the memory of her May-blossom scent never truly left me. Just like her name never really left me.
Well, it never left my Alpha. It’s him who whines and pines for her like a pathetic mutt that needs to be put down. He’s the relentless, needy one, not me... I have more restraint.
A flash of memory returns, and then I see a hollow-cheeked woman lying on a bed before me. Once again, I feel her frail hand in mine as she finally loses the battle, giving up on life at last.
Mom.
Fuck.
Why did I have to think about her now?
I swallow thickly next, willing that steel armor around my heart lest it crumples to dust at the sad memory.
Omegas can become very sick when their Alpha rejects them. As I learned the hard way…
Yet the Omega before me is full of life. Even though I broke her, it only made her stronger. She bloomed in adversity. Unlike my dear mother, who wilted until she disappeared forever.
That’s the furthest thing from unremarkable. No… that is inspiring.
Daisy Rose is beautiful in a way that truly matters. As brilliant as she may be now, with her pretty white petals in full bloom around her sunny face, I can’t have her.
It’s too late.
Because if I ever destroyed that radiant light… then I would be no better than my piece of shit father.
One I hope is rotting in hell.
I’ve tried to fill the void of Daisy’s scent ever since she left, but no other woman or Omega ever came close to that sweet May-blossom.
That breath of fresh spring air… The one that brings the promise of new beginnings after a long, bleak winter… I can’t have it.
“It’s okay if you don’t remember, Rowan,” she says next. “However, I still think you owe me an apology. You hurt me deeply. You and your brothers.”
I sigh. “I can’t apologize for something I don’t remember.”
A horrible, awful lie. That day lives rent-free in my brain, but I had to do what I could to protect my brothers and myself.
I had to do what I could to protect her.
I really was a fucking idiot.
She narrows her eyes, shaking her head. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
I open my mouth to argue, but I have no response to give. She’s right. If she’s expecting some sincere, heartfelt apology, then she’ll be looking forever.
I don’t do anything heartfelt.
She gets to her feet, packing up her ridiculous laptop with all its bookish stickers, and she’s still reading and writing, I see. And then, without a second glance in my direction, she turns up the aisle to sit somewhere else.
I suppose I should be the gentleman and at least offer to sit somewhere else. She got here first, after all.
But she’s already making herself comfortable in another seat.
Once she’s out of sight, I palm my face, rubbing at an oncoming migraine between my eyes. This train journey couldn’t end soon enough. It had been a long weekend at that finance summit, and I’m looking forward to just smoking cigars and drinking whisky in front of the hearth.
As Finance Director at The Wynter Lodge, I’ve got a lot on my plate.
But why does her vexing scent have to linger? I can taste it on my tongue, and my Alpha is about to burst out of this tailored suit at any moment so he can claim her, just as he should have done ten years ago.
But he lost his chance. We both have.
That ship sailed long ago.
Hours pass by, but I can barely see the numbers on my screen as my eyes keep drifting her way. To my disappointment, she doesn’t return my gaze. Why would she?
She’s not my Omega. She never will be.
Even as the train finally pulls up into the station, I remain in my seat. I even wait as the rest of the passengers gather their things.
Unfortunately, it looked as if Daisy had the same idea. She gets up, and instinctually, I mirror her movements. I grind my teeth as I put my laptop away, throwing her one more glance.
Her sea-green eyes find my ice-cold pair, and we don’t move for some time. Even as the conductor reminds us of our stop.
There’s so much I want to say—of how terribly sorry I am for what I put her through that day. I suppose it takes a lot of guts to get up on stage and bare your heart to an entire room of people.
I never would have had the courage to do something so bold. As I said, I don’t do anything heartfelt.
There will be no romantic gestures on my end.
Finally, she offers me the back of her long, platinum-blonde hair as it drops like a waterfall to her waist, and finally, she leaves the train.
I wait a few beats. And then with a deep breath, I follow her off that archaic mode of transportation; I have a cab waiting outside the station. Normally, I travel by plane, but I thought a change of pace might do me some good.
It didn’t. I’m still the same stick-in-the-mud grouch.
Still, it’s good to be able to breathe in the fresh air of Silverpine again.
Home at last.
I just need to get Daisy’s scent off me first. And then, I can finally move on.
It’s best for all involved.