CHAPTER FOURTEEN #2
Evylin slipped a dagger from her belt. She dropped to her knees, straddling the Shade, poised to drive the blade into its throat.
The Shade gripped her wrists, holding her attack at bay. She leaned harder against it, the blade sinking an inch closer to the Shade’s neck. It said her name like a plea, begging for its life. But she couldn’t give it mercy.
Ilain’s words rang through her head. “Any one of us could lose our lives at any time.”
She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t go through it again.
Evylin pressed harder, forcing the blade down.
A weight slammed into her side, yanking her off the Shade. She rolled, breaking free and regaining her footing. She’d lost her dagger in the scuffle, but she had others. Her fingers readily found the rosette pommel, drawing the blade from her belt.
“Eve!” The yell was harsh and loud, jarring her senses.
Evylin shook her head, mind clearing. Rafferty stood in front of her, his hands held up and body primed to pounce.
His gray eyes were fierce, jaw set with consternation.
A bloom of dark pink flesh showed at his temple.
She blinked. Why was he staring at her like that?
And why did she have a dagger in her hand?
Slowly, Thom rose to his feet. He wiped a hand along his throat, fingers coming away crimson.
Evylin dropped the dagger. She muttered a curse, her hands shaking as the world cleared around her. In the haze of her magic, she’d lost track of reality. She’d fallen into a stupor, attacking her friends as though they were Shades. She’d nearly killed Thom.
“Thom, I—I’m so sorry,” she eked out.
Though his steely blue gaze showed fear, Thom stepped closer. “It’s all right, Evie. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”
“No,” she whispered, the trembling spreading up her arms and into her shoulders. “No, you’re not. You’re bleeding.”
“It was just a scratch.”
“I could have killed you!” Her voice broke, her chest constricting.
Rafferty still stood to the side, watching her warily. Thom approached, rubbing his fingers clean on his coat. “But you didn’t. I’m fine.”
Evylin couldn’t tear her eyes from the blood staining the gray wool. “I would have,” she said, breath catching in her throat. “If Rafferty hadn’t stopped me, I would have.”
“Evie, look at me,” Thom instructed.
She did, but all she could see was the nick on his neck, blood beading to trickle out.
“I’m fine,” he repeated once more.
The shaking was in her chest, collapsing her lungs. Evylin felt like she was back in the Water Keep, slowly drowning in the massive blue pool. Her eyes filled, and she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. The emotion crashed in on her, the pressure of it filling her lungs. She couldn’t breathe.
Evylin’s knees buckled, and both men jolted in surprise. Thom caught her arm, but her weight carried them down. Rafferty knelt by her side, open-mouthed in concern.
On all fours, Evylin gasped for air. Her vision grew spotty, her fingers curling in the mud. She could feel the weight of Thom’s arm around her and hear him telling her to breathe, that it would all be all right, she just had to breathe. But she didn’t believe him.
It wouldn’t be all right. She knew that now.
Without the warmth of the Day Relic, nothing would ever be all right again.
Hewitt was gone; he’d died on this foolish mission of theirs.
What chance did the rest of them stand? If Hewitt could be conquered, they’d all die.
And why shouldn’t they? There was nothing to live for if he weren’t there to see them to victory.
Evylin choked, her lungs burning with the need for relief.
Vaguely, she heard Rafferty speaking in a panic. “What do we do?”
“I—I don’t know,” Thom stuttered, his voice shaky. “Get help, maybe?”
“Right.” Rafferty sprinted off, yelling at the top of his lungs, “COLONEL!”
Thom sighed, tightening his hold on Evylin.
“I meant the Day Mage, you stupid git,” he grumbled.
Then he slid in front of Evylin, taking hold of her face in both hands.
His sharp gray-blue eyes bored into hers.
“Evylin, I want you to listen to me,” he said.
“You need to breathe. So let’s do it together, all right? Take a breath in and hold it.”
He demonstrated, and Evylin attempted a shallow breath. It caught, causing her to cough repeatedly. Bile rose in her throat, and the acid burned her tongue.
Thom swore under his breath, seeing that his attempts were failing. “Come on, Evie.” He stroked the side of her face, desperation in his voice. “You can do this. I’m right here. You didn’t hurt me, I promise. Please, just breathe.”
Evylin couldn’t comply. Her head was beginning to spin. All she wanted was to set her head in the dirt and sink out of existence. No more pain, no more loneliness, no more fear. She could fade away just as Hewitt had and finally find peace.
Rest. That’s what Evylin needed. She could lie down and fall into oblivion, resting with Hewitt and Ryen for eternity.