Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
NATE
It’s an easy choice, Nate. Just do it.
The road leading out of Naperville is simply a matter of turning left. One left crank, and I can be far away from this town. But here I am, sitting at the stop sign, contemplating my choices. When I returned from my morning jog, I had been dead set on leaving. Once showered and packed, I made the decision. Being in her house yesterday, being that close to her, was a mistake. No, not a mistake—her issues needed fixing—but I can’t risk getting closer to her. I liked helping her out a little too much. I’m a man. Satisfying a woman is built into me. It’s that simple. Nothing more.
But it was so much more.
I could relax and be myself for the first time in a long time. It was . . . freeing. And Mackenzie’s oldest son? God, Liam was so curious, firing question after question at me. Ethan constantly complained about how home life drove him crazy and hated the downtime between tours. I don’t see how he could’ve had those thoughts. The small slice I tasted seemed like pure nirvana. I couldn’t ever see wanting to leave that life. Wanting to leave her.
Which is why I need to get the hell out of here.
I can’t risk getting more deeply involved.
Besides, Mackenzie is taking care of herself just fine. She has a solid plan. That’s all the evidence I need to leave town with a clear conscience. My debt is paid in full.
Unease crawls up my spine and chokes my throat. My sudden need to escape has nothing to do with Mackenzie’s ability to care for herself and everything to do with me. The moment her son shot me that expression—the same cocky expression I’ve grown to know quite well these last few years. The same face I saw take its very last breath—I knew I had to squash any feelings for her. And fast. My friend is dead because of me. I can’t form an attraction to his widow.
That isn’t allowed.
A beeping horn sounds behind me and jars me to the present. I glance to the left and curse as I turn the steering wheel to the right. One cup of coffee to go won’t hurt. Neither will one last check to make sure Mackenzie is okay.
I park the truck outside the café and stare at the large glass panes that line the front of Brewed Awakening. Why the hell can’t I seem to leave this town? If I was waiting for an answer to that question, I wouldn’t have waited long. It presents itself the moment I step inside, and her warm smile greets me, knocking me back down a few steps. I’m totally screwed when it comes to this woman.
“Black coffee?”
“To go.”
She eyes me as she takes my money. “I washed dishes without getting soaked for the first time since moving into the house. Thanks again for fixing the faucet and toilet.”
I grunt. Why did I think coming here was a good idea? I need to cut ties and ride on out of here. I watch her backside as she pours my cup in a to-go container. Her slim figure. Hair pulled up, exposing the creamy skin. I stand straighter and try not to think about brushing my lips against all that creaminess as I sidle up against her backside. The soft curves of her hips grinding against my groin. Shit.
“Have you figured out your sitter situation yet?” Jill asks as she comes from the backroom.
My ears perk up at the exasperated sigh Mackenzie lets out. A warning that screams for me to ignore whatever comes from her mouth. She’s in a good place. She can handle whatever is tossed her way.
“Sort of. I asked Sandy but haven’t gotten a definite answer yet.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help, but your class lands on the only night I’m not free.”
“I know. And I appreciate you wanting to help. Mom volunteered to cancel their trip, but they sacrificed enough for me. I want them to go and enjoy themselves.”
The need to escape wars with doing the right thing. Those vibrant green eyes flash toward me as she hands me my cup of coffee. All my resolve fades. Any restraint on my part dissolves the moment I open my mouth. “You need help with the kids?”
“Sort of. Most of my classes are online, but I have to drive to the city for my clinical one night a week.” She shakes her head. “I’m sure Sandy will come through for me.”
“I can do it.” The words fly from my mouth before I can think. But honestly, who am I kidding? Of course, I’m going to help her out. I can lie to myself all I want, but protecting her is what I’ve sworn to do. If that protection comes in the form of babysitting, then so be it. I’ll help in any way.
Her mouth opens and then shuts. I ignore her friend’s smirk. But I must’ve been a fool if I thought Mackenzie would take anything I’m offering. It was like pulling teeth to get her to accept my plumbing help.
“I can’t have you do that.”
“Why not?” What am I doing? She’s giving me an out, and I’m not taking it.
“Because I don’t know you. My kids . . .”
As her words trail off, I tamp down the anger that flairs from her quick rejection and remind myself that she doesn’t know me. Not like I know her. I know particular things about her I shouldn’t. Like how she dislikes her food to touch. Or how she eats one food group first before moving to the next. And how Liam loves superheroes but insists DC Comics is far superior. Or how Nick will only drink chocolate milk if made from powdered chocolate, not liquid. These odd idiosyncrasies are things I shouldn’t know but do after listening to Ethan complain about them these past few years. My jaw ticks. Knowing all this doesn’t help calm the sudden rage bubbling inside. I want her to trust me, but that doesn’t look like it will happen.
“Well, then, good luck.” I grab the coffee from the counter and stalk to the door. Leaving this town is for the best. It’s what needs to happen. If I stay . . . shit , if I stay, she’ll get under my skin. Reaching my truck, I grunt in protest at what my mind has figured out—she’s already there.
I tug the truck door open, determined to drive anywhere but here. I’ll figure out the location as I go.
“Nate, wait,” Mackenzie yells as she flies out of the café.
I pause, contemplating my options. If I turn to face her, I won’t leave. I’ll be sucked back into the world of protecting her while knowing I want her. It isn’t fair of me to do that to her. Mackenzie isn’t the type of woman you have sex with and forget. And I’m not a long-term kind of guy. My best choice is to hop into the driver’s seat and ride off in the sunset. Except it’s nine in the morning, and I’m turning to face her.
“I’m sorry. That came out all wrong. I know you’re not here to cause harm.”
“There was truth in your statement. You know nothing about me. You have every right to protect your kids. It’s what any good mother should do.”
“I know, but I just . . .” She glances inside my cab, her eyebrows scrunching as she takes in my suitcases and boxes. “Are you leaving?”
Her confused expression morphs into concern and sparks a fire deep in the pit of my stomach. I swallow the yes on the tip of my tongue as the decision to leave does a complete one-eighty for the third time today. “No. I just haven’t unpacked everything yet.”
I don’t know why I felt compelled to lie. Maybe because deep down, I know I’m not going anywhere. I’m a soldier. I’m strong. But this girl brings me to my knees and gives me mental whiplash. The decision is made. From now on, I’ll be here to help for as long as needed. No more going back and forth and wondering when to cut ties. I’ll wait until her mom gets back from the trip. One month won’t kill me.
“I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry.” Her gaze locks and holds with mine. I step closer. Her breath hitches as confliction crosses her face. I’m pushing my limits, but I can’t seem to stop.
“Apology accepted.” My voice comes across gruffer than expected, but she doesn’t back away.
“Thank you.”
The softness of her voice causes a lump to form in my throat, making my voice garbled. “As I said, I’m here. If you need anything, call.”
“Okay. I better get back in there.” She says the words but doesn’t make an effort to move.
“I’ll keep the phone close by.” And before I do something stupid like pull her into a kiss, I turn and slip into my truck. I don’t look back as I head toward The Cabins. But I get the distinct feeling she’s still standing there watching.