Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
NATE
“Momma, we’re home!” Nick yells and darts toward the kitchen.
Home. The word lands harder than it should. He probably means himself and his brother, but for one foolish second, I imagine he’s including me. The idea unsettles me more than it should. Other than my military unit, I haven’t belonged to a family in years.
I still don’t.
The voice of reasoning rears its ugly head and keeps me grounded. That is until I catch a whiff of something delicious wafting from the kitchen. The scent stirs a yearning inside me that has no right existing. This isn’t supposed to happen. I don’t belong here. Not with her. Not with this family.
Mackenzie rounds the corner of the kitchen and nearly steals my breath. Her auburn curls pile atop her head in a messy bun, revealing the soft curve of her neck I’ve seen a dozen times, but tonight, something’s different. Or maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s this place. Whatever it is, she’s beautiful enough to make me forget every reason I shouldn’t be here.
“How did it go?” Those green eyes shine with curiosity. It’s the most relaxed I’ve seen Mackenzie since meeting her. My heart does a funny flip from knowing I helped put that expression there. I did that.
“Mom, we lined up, and Coach had us perform drills. He said I’d be a good striker. I didn’t even have to tell him what position I played. He could tell.” Liam’s enthusiasm brings a smile to my face. But the kid is exceptionally talented.
“That’s great. See, your talent shines no matter where your location is.” She flashes her gaze to me. “He loves being a striker and was worried they’d assign him a different position.”
“Ah.” I love how she feels the need to explain situations to me. She includes me without even trying.
“Did you have any problems?”
“Nah. I talked to one of the dads, Mark Morgan. Seemed decent enough.”
Mackenzie’s expression flickers with surprise. Or is that discomfort? She quickly smooths it over before I can decipher. “I know Mark. We graduated with each other.”
There’s a story there, but her tense smile warns me not to ask.
“I, uh, made supper. You’re welcome to stay.”
Say no.
“I hate to impose.” My stomach growls as if protesting my denial, but staying here won’t lead anywhere good. The corners of her mouth lift higher from the sound, and I know I’m kidding myself. I’m not going anywhere. My brain may tell me to leave, but my body caves to the most basic need in human nature—belonging.
And there’s that word again. How that woman reduces me, of all people, to a delicate snowflake is the biggest mystery of all.
“It’s not a problem. Besides, I owe you a meal anyway.”
“I think the lasagna the other night more than made up for it.” Her soft laugh trickles over my skin.
“That was a prelim. Come in and stay. It’s nothing major—spaghetti and meatballs. I seem to have an Italian theme going on.” She winks and spins on her heels. “I need to stir the noodles, though. We’ll have a clumpy mess if I don’t.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I toe off my shoes and follow. Mackenzie heads straight to the stove. I round the island and lean against the countertop opposite her. Maybe with a barrier between us, I won’t be so tempted to touch her. “Is there anything I can help with?”
“Not yet. I’m almost done.”
“From what I saw on the field, Liam’s talented. He seems advanced for this current team.”
Mackenzie sighs as she stirs the noodles. “I’m sure he is. I know he’s my kid, but he really is talented. That’s why I didn’t want him to miss out. I probably need to find a more challenging team, but . . .”
Her voice trails off, and I know where her mind went. She doesn’t have the time nor the energy to exert on finding an advanced team.
“There’s always next year. I think it’s more important for him to make friends right now. He’s still playing with a team. Delaying his advancement by a year won’t hurt,” I say, offering as much encouragement as possible but making a mental note to research.
“I’m sure you’re right.”
“Were you able to get some homework done?” I ask to get a sense of normalcy back into the conversation. The last thing I want to do is delve into why she uprooted him from his previous team.
“I did. Those couple of hours of peace made a huge difference. It helped that I made these meatballs last night.”
“Are you liking the courses?”
“Very much. I forgot how rewarding learning could be. I’m learning skills that will help people.”
My eyes stray to her backside. “It can be gratifying.” I add an “I’m sure” to the end because I don’t want to sound too knowledgeable. But she also doesn’t need to know about the less rewarding areas. The times when no matter what you do, your best isn’t good enough. The times when good people perish, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop it. Or, worse yet, how their blood is on your hands.
Mackenzie spins around, and the dreamy look in her eyes stirs something deep inside. She shakes her head before her gaze locks and holds with mine. I swear the only sound among us is my rapid heartbeat.
Don’t worry if you fall in love with her. She’s easy to love. Damn it, Ethan. His words not only haunt but taunt me, too. That burning in my chest returns. All his complaints through the few years we got to know each other make no sense. I know they got married young. I know he always felt trapped by the burden of having a family. And I know all about his wandering eyes.
Mackenzie deserves so much more than the hand dealt. She’s fucking incredible.
She places the wooden spatula in the spoon holder and sidesteps around me to the refrigerator. I think she’s grabbing something from inside, but she lifts to her tiptoes, stretching to reach the top of the fridge. The griddle she’s trying to grasp scoots just out of her reach.
“Here, let me help.” I react before thinking and sidle next to her. Her body tucks against my side as I stretch to grab the edge. I don’t miss how well she fits against me as if made for me. I also don’t miss her soft intake of air. I quickly grab the griddle and place it on the island.
“I have some bread to make Texas toast,” she says absentmindedly, still frazzled. I’d puff my chest out, knowing I caused this visceral reaction, but I must admit. I feel a bit dazed myself.
“I can take care of the toast if there’s something else you need to do.”
“Thanks. The supplies are over there.” She points to the countertop behind me. Then, she beelines to the stove and stirs the sauce.
“Thank you for cleaning my house the other night.”
“I was keeping myself busy.”
“Still, it was nice. I don’t have much time for domestic chores right now.” She shoots me a sideways grin. “At least that’s my excuse.”
“You don’t need to explain it to me. I know how hard you work. I don’t mind taking care of a few things.” Or taking care of you .
Appreciation settles behind those shiny, bright eyes, but there’s a hint of desire. Or maybe that’s my reflection staring back because I want this woman. Inappropriate or not, I can’t deny what she does to me. What I wouldn’t give to have her glossy lips wrapped around my cock while those green eyes stare up at me. God, I want to bend her over this counter and sink balls deep into her tight pussy until she’s screaming my name as she milks me dry.
And this is why I’m going to burn in hell.
When Ethan told me to take care of his wife, I highly doubt he meant fantasizing about fucking her.
“You know, I assumed you were single. I should’ve asked if there was any woman in your life.”
“No. There’s no woman.”
“Has there ever been a Mrs. Dixon?”
“No. I’m married to the country.” Having dedicated my life to the army, I’ve spent countless days and nights attending to the wounded. I’ve seen too many sights I’d rather forget. There hasn’t been any time for me, let alone a particular woman. But with Mackenzie standing before me, I can see what I’ve been missing. For the first time, I stand here questioning my choice to remain single.
Her nose scrunches. “Like an environmentalist?”
I laugh and cross my arms over my chest. “Something like that. My last job required a lot of my time. Let’s just say I was ready for a break.”
“Hopefully, you’ll find what you need in Naperville.”
Our gazes hold. “Things are looking good.”
She presses her lips together as a pink blush creeps across her cheeks. Averting her attention back to the noodles, she breathes shallowly. “I think supper is ready.”
This moment proved that the more time we spend together, the more my willpower weakens. I’m only so strong when it comes to this woman, and I’ve tested my strength enough tonight. I need to leave after we have dinner. For her sake and mine. Because if I stay, I’ll ruin everything. And Mackenzie deserves someone whole. Someone who isn’t me.