Chapter Five
A ddy soaked in the feel of Archer’s mighty arms around her. They reminded her of giant sequoias, and like the impenetrable trees of Sierra Nevada, they were the ideal insulator, keeping her cozy on the dance floor long after the sun went down. Just like the ancient trees that stood unscathed by rushing forest fires, he’d most likely survive, maybe even ignore, the blaze between them. She, on the other hand, refused to let this incredible feeling pass her by.
“Will you watch the shower with me in the morning?” she asked. His dark blue eyes flashed with something that made her belly tingle, but it was gone so fast she could’ve imagined it. Like she’d told Archer earlier, she understood he was a protector. He probably didn’t see her as a woman but his teammate’s sister. She was hoping if they spent more time together, he’d recognize her as something more.
His jaw clenched and her heart began to thud as she waited for his reply. She couldn’t think of a better place to admit to Archer that she had feelings for him than the secluded, moss-cushioned clearing with the predawn Perseids streaking across the sky. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. When he dropped his arms from around her waist, she knew he was going to deny her. Maybe she’d expected it, but that didn’t stop the rush of disappointment from flooding her.
“Another time. Be safe.” His voice was a deep rumble. One she could listen to over and over. He stepped back, then turned and started to walk away, but paused. “Thank you for the dance.”
She stood on the dance floor for one moment, then another, gaze pinned on Archer’s broad shoulders.
“Are you okay?” Her brother’s fiancée, Sam, heavily pregnant with Addy’s niece, shuffled over. “You look like someone stole your slice of cake.” She rubbed her rounded belly.
“And it’s good cake.” Vivienne came up on her other side, followed by her sister Hannah, who was engaged to her brother’s teammate Branch. There was a streak of pink frosting on Viv’s cheek, and Hannah swiped it away with the pad of her thumb.
“She would know.” Hannah jerked her thumb in the direction of her sister and smiled. “She’s visited the dessert table three times.”
“So maybe it’s more than good.” The sisters laughed. They didn’t share a strong resemblance, but each was lovely in their own way. Hannah with her long auburn hair and golden freckles and Viv with large blue eyes and pale waves. In fact, the entire group of women looked as though they’d tapped into some enchanted beauty remedy. Sam, and Brynn—who was rushing across the space in her ivory lace gown—were also stunning. She’d never had the desire to play up her feminine features, and while she did her best not to compare herself to others, sometimes old insecurities floated to the forefront of her mind.
Her gifts lay in her intellect. Still, with Archer’s rejection still fresh, it was hard to stop herself from wondering if maybe she fell short of something he was looking for. She didn’t have voluptuous curves or a good fashion sense. She liked to wear things she picked up from her travels, as they reminded her of the people she’d met and places she’d been. Despite being told she didn’t fit in throughout her life, she liked the person she was. She dedicated her life to researching others, not to change them in any way, but to learn how to better protect and find peace in a world that often seemed at war over such trivial things.
“I didn’t want to miss out,” Brynn said, running her manicured hands down the front of her gown. “I could feel the sparks flying on the other side of the room.” The bride’s blue eyes twinkled. “So, you and Silver, huh?”
A sigh escaped her lips. If she couldn’t tell these women about her feelings, who could she confide in? She couldn’t exactly march up to Julian and ask him for the best way to catch his friend’s eye. “There is no me and Silver. I don’t think he thinks of me that way.”
“Oooh.” Viv’s brows winged up and she scrunched her nose. “But why wouldn’t he? You’ve totally got that natural beauty thing down to a science. And you’re so kind.”
She stared at Viv, momentarily stunned. Before she came to Virginia Beach with Hannah, she’d been a model, an influencer, and a pageant queen, yet she thought Addy was a natural beauty?
“Seriously, Addy.” Sam leveled her gaze. “Silver hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off you all night.”
“And don’t think we haven’t noticed the text messages pinging back and forth between you two,” Brynn added in her melodic voice.
Viv did a little hop and clasped her hands together. Addy couldn’t help but smile at Hannah’s little sister’s enthusiasm. From what she’d been told, Viv had been very sheltered, and it was like she was experiencing the world for the first time. “This is so exciting. Is that why he kept smiling at his phone? Iron and Silver drove me here from Texas. Silver was being super secretive about whoever he kept texting with.”
“Oh geez,” Hannah said. “Do we need to create a diversion so Joker doesn’t see you two sneak out the back?”
“Does your brother know?” Brynn asked, leaning closer. The women had made a tight circle just off the dance floor.
“There’s nothing to know. Especially seeing I just asked Archer to spend the night in the woods with me watching the meteor shower and he declined.”
“What the heck!” Viv exclaimed. “I’m going to go talk to him right now. He’s clearly into you. Maybe he just needs to get his head out of his butt.”
Viv whirled on her heel and would’ve barged across the dance floor if Hannah hadn’t grabbed her arm. “Whoa there. The sugar has gone straight to your head. I think Addy and Silver need to work this out on their own. Anyone can see they’re interested in each other.”
“Seriously,” Sam said. “He probably feels like he has to tiptoe around Julian. If you want me to, I’m happy to ease my sometimes-grumpy fiancé into the idea of his sister with his buddy.”
“No, please don’t do that. Silver expressed that he didn’t want to go with me tonight and I respect that.”
Brynn turned to look over her shoulder, her diamond earrings glinting in the soft light. Addy’s gaze followed the bride’s to where the men stood in a loose horseshoe by the beverages. They were all looking in their direction, and she could feel the heat of Archer’s eyes on her.
“Something about our guys is that they’re all stubborn,” Sam said. “They all have their own values and views about what is right. I wouldn’t be surprised if Silver is holding back because of a number of things.”
“Sam is right,” Brynn said. “Neo definitely was conflicted when we first got together. I was his brother’s nurse, and in his eyes, it was inappropriate to have any kind of relationship with me. There comes a point, though, when they can’t hold back. Maybe Silver just needs a little more time to work through his internal dilemmas.”
Hannah put her hand on Addy’s shoulder. “He’s probably thinking of his age, loyalty to your brother, and what is best for you.”
Addy frowned. That wasn’t a good thought at all. “He can’t decide anything for me. And his age doesn’t give me a second thought.” She wasn’t quite sure how old Archer was, but it didn’t matter to her. Their attraction was elemental. It wasn’t common for her to feel that sensation of desire, and at times, she’d wondered if there was something wrong with her. If somehow being rejected by their mother had damaged her in some way. Julian had always felt the same. He had never been in a real relationship until Sam. Although he was her brother, sexuality was a natural part of being human, and whatever happened with Sam had struck her brother like lightning. She was grateful Julian had found his soulmate.
“So, what’s next, then?” Viv asked with a slight pout.
Addy chuckled. It felt nice to have these connections. Friends. It would definitely be worth scaling back her research to get to know them, even if she didn’t make any definite decisions yet. “I join Collin at the dessert table and get a piece of that cake you’ve talked up.” She offered the women a gentle smile, hoping they knew how much she appreciated their support, and walked across to the dessert table. She’d have some trail mix later on her hike, but right now, a little sugar spike was just what she needed.
An hour later, the event was winding down. Ransom had already declared he and his new bride were ditching the event. He’d walked away with Brynn over his shoulder. Brynn had been laughing while the groom looked determined to get his new wife alone. Jacob was going home with Branch and Hannah to have a sleepover at Collin’s house. At some point between when Addy had gotten to the dessert table and finished her cake, Archer had left or at least she thought he did as she hadn’t seen him. Maybe she’d embarrassed him. Oh well, at least now she knew. Whatever had happened between them six months ago when Sam had been in the hospital had passed, at least for Archer. Her heart felt slightly sick at that thought.
After saying goodbye to her friends, she got in her car and drove in the opposite direction of the small home she was renting. The farther she got, the less light pollution there was, so the stars shined brighter. She spotted the dirt road that was the first destination on her trek. It led to a small public parking lot for hikers and campers. Loose gravel shifted beneath her tires as her car bumped down the thin, poorly lit path. There were several cars parked but given the show Mother Nature was going to put on a few hours from now and the nice weather for camping, it was expected. She pulled into an open space and parked, then slipped out of the driver’s-side door.
Addy retrieved her hiking backpack from the trunk and slung it over her shoulders, storing away her keys and cell phone in the side pocket. The place she had in mind was as remote as she could find. Twigs and debris cracked beneath her boots as she walked into the dark forest. She kept her flashlight low so as not to disturb others in the forest or the animals that lived there. The scent of the earth, of pine, and of moss was amplified at night when the sights of tall trees rising up to touch the sky and sun-dappled leaves couldn’t distract the senses.
She’d hiked about two miles when she paused, sensing someone was following her. Navigating any type of forest was a unique skill set she possessed. It wouldn’t be difficult for her to double back on the person to see who it was and become a ghost and wait them out. It was possible it was a fox or coyote, or it could be another person on their way to their own destination.
She shut off her flashlight and slipped into dense tree cover, then waited. Several minutes passed when she heard nearly silent footfalls. This person was either graceful as a cat or didn’t want to be discovered. She crouched lower. Whoever was out there wasn’t using a flashlight, which meant they had night-vision goggles, like the ones her brother had. She was fairly confident that her overprotective twin wouldn’t be leaving Sam’s side at night, but there was someone else who might’ve followed her. Just to be sure, she let him pass. It wasn’t until she listened to the person’s gait and barely audible breathing that she was sure her hunch was right, and she silently crept onto the trail behind him.
“Maybe we could just hike together?” She wasn’t sure how to feel about Archer following her into the woods. Her reaction would differ based on what reasoning he had. The one that upset her the most was Julian sending him out to keep tabs on her, but that didn’t seem likely as she’d been far more dangerous places than the woods of Virginia.
The sound of footsteps stopped, and a flashlight illuminated the space. “Addison. Shit, woman. You just took ten years off my life.”
“Sorry about that. Why are you sneaking around the forest?”
He released a long breath, closing the short distance between them. “I was making sure you stayed safe.”
“You wanted to make sure I was safe, but you didn’t want to spend time together?”
“I…”
“You’re going to need to explain.” It wasn’t often that she asserted herself. She hated conflict in the worst way, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t advocate if needed.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Well, let me reassure you I am okay outside, whether that’s in the rainforest, wetlands, or desert. What I’m not okay with is being followed without my consent.” Her voice was low and firm. The last thing she wanted to do was disturb other campers.
“Fuck,” he swore. “I’m sorry.”
“I accept your apology, Archer, but I won’t pretend I’m not hurt that you felt responsible for me. That you’d follow me into the woods at a distance just to avoid being with me.” A wedge lodged in her throat. She would absolutely not cry.
“Shit, Addy. I can’t deny trying to avoid you.” His low tone was raw, and ouch, her heart seemed to shrink. That hurt. “Not for the reasons you think, sweetheart. I’d like to explain those reasons to you, but I’d prefer to do it when we’re settled at the place you plan to camp. Is it too late to ask if I can follow you?”
She dipped her chin, even though her head was jumbled with all the whys running through it. “Okay.”
They started to hike side by side, following the glow of Addy’s flashlight. Instead of focusing on what wasn’t being said between her and Archer, she tuned in to the forest. The lullaby of wind whispering over the leaves, the good-morning hoot of an owl beginning its nocturnal hunt, her breathing mingling with his. Even in her confusion and frustration of how the night had gone, the longing to step closer and grip his hand was acute. His hand would be hard and strong, like his warrior’s body, and she had no doubt when she slipped her palm against his, she’d feel as though nothing could touch her.
They approached a tree collapsed over another. It was her personal landmark for the clearing she’d scouted. “Right here. Off the trail to the left,” she said.
Archer followed without question. This was the man she’d come to know. One who was so secure in his abilities he didn’t mind taking directions from another. Didn’t feel the need to assert his dominance, but had no problem being the enforcer when the situation called for it.
As they approached the clearing, her stomach dipped. They’d both slept under the stars and experienced the beauty of a wild night’s sky, but they hadn’t done those things together. She wanted to share that connection with him. The thought quickly soured in her stomach right alongside the wedding cake and champagne. They stepped into the open space, and the breath rushed out of Archer’s lungs. “Addy…wow.”
They both stood in the large clearing at the edge of a steep drop-off. She shined the flashlight to the cusp of the cliff. “Don’t get too close.” Addy’s voice, suddenly vulnerable, was nearly swallowed by the vast space. Was she warning Archer about the treacherous fall or cautioning herself about her feelings for him? Maybe there wasn’t a difference.
“Close is all I can think about.” The muscles in his neck tightened as he swallowed, and he shoved his hands in his pockets.
“You said… Never mind.” Her mind was racing just as fast as her heart. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who felt this attraction. The idea was intoxicating. “Let me get set up, then we can talk.” That would give her a small reprieve to get herself under control. Yeah, right. It would take more than setting up one tent to get her body in check.
The stars were a brilliant white, made more dazzling by the depth of the darkness surrounding them. Addy inhaled the crisp air and made quick work of opening her backpack. The pop-up tent barely took any time to set up, but it was only for one…unless two people practically slept on top of each other. The electric charge that rushed to her hips made her jolt. Even simply thinking of Archer sharing that small space made her dizzy.
“Let me help.” He extended his hand, but she shook her head and waved him away. It wasn’t like he could read her thoughts. He had no way of knowing how pitifully attracted she was to him. She set one last pole and stepped back. The tent was illuminated by the flashlight lying on the ground. Archer cleared his throat. Did he have a similar thought about the size of the tent or was he anxious to explain himself and leave?
Addy straightened and wiped her hands on the rough fabric of her jeans. She walked past him, closer to the edge of the drop-off, and sat on the ground. With the gentle wind in her hair and her hands fisted in the grass, she was more grounded than before. Whatever Archer told her, she’d deal with it. She couldn’t exactly make him like her if he didn’t feel the same connection. Footsteps padded up behind her and a moment later, Archer was sitting on the ground beside her. For one breath, then two, they looked out at the sky, dense with stars.
When he cleared his throat, her chest tingled with nerves. Part of her didn’t want to be having this conversation at all. She was happy before she met her brother’s teammate. Satisfied with her work and some of the connections she’d had with colleagues over the years. Then, she’d met Archer and one text to check on her brother while Sam was in the hospital turned into near-daily messages. Hearing from him had been the highlight of her day, and aside from Julian, she considered him the closest friend she had.
“I remember when we first met,” Archer began, looking straight ahead.
“In the hospital. Julian was telling me not to freak Sam out with my weirdness.”
“Do you remember what I said?”
“That I wasn’t the weird twin.” She chuckled at the memory. She’d been stunned by him from the start. All her brother’s teammates were handsome, but when she laid eyes on Archer, something had happened. Something she couldn’t quite name flowed between them at first glance. She’d say it was an invisible connection, but the experience was bright and tangible, a golden glow encompassing them and clicking into place.
“That’s right. And when you discovered that Sam was pregnant, you held out your hand and asked to me join you in the excitement.”
“You said you’d leave the celebrating up to us.”
“Even then, just meeting you for half a second, I knew if I took your hand, it would change me in some way. I felt something in that hospital room, Addy. Then even more when you broke me out of that nightmare about Quinn. You took some of my pain. Made sure I wasn’t alone when you left by giving me a kitten. One who is a gigantic cat now and who I’m not embarrassed to say I can’t imagine not having.”
She shrugged. “We’ve barely been in the same room together since, if you don’t count Sam and Joker’s baby shower and that was nearly three months ago.”
“That’s been intentional.” His voice was hoarse, and the sound did funny things to her insides.
She was so confused. One moment it seemed like Archer was on the verge of declaring something profound, and the next, he was admitting to pushing her away. People respected her, held her research in high regard, but there was no one she was truly close with. Until Archer. If he told her they couldn’t speak anymore… Her heart dipped, bottoming out in her stomach.
“Why talk to me, then? Aside from when you’ve been on a mission or when I’m in the field, we’ve texted every day. Every. Day. Why put all that time and—”
“Addison.” Her name rumbled from somewhere deep in his chest and her heart rate spiked. She wasn’t sure who moved in first. In one heartbeat, Archer’s fingers were laced in her hair. Her lips were on his, fingers curled into his shirt. When their tongues met, she clung to him even tighter, afraid he’d realize his mistake and jump back.
His deep groan vibrated against her lips and her nipples tightened against the thin fabric of the sports bra she’d worn for the hike. Every stroke of his tongue, the slight tug of her hair as he struggled to take control, marked her. The small number of kisses she’d had before were neat and civilized. This was something else entirely. Messy, demanding, primal. Hands down one of the most beautiful physical experiences of her life.
He broke away, fingers still threaded against her scalp, and dropped his forehead to hers. They sat there, heads pressed together, gasping for air. “That’s why. Because I can’t be in the same room without wanting to consume you. Doesn’t matter where we are or what the situation is, everything about me wanting you with this kind of intensity is wrong. Sam and Joker’s baby shower? I wanted to steal you away. Go somewhere I could strip you out of that blood-orange sundress.”
An involuntary whimper escaped her lips. She more than loved that idea.
“God, Addy. You couldn’t be fucking sweeter.” He lowered his head, drawing her bottom lip between his. The gentle scrape of his tongue was possessive and perfect. “Couldn’t be more beautiful.” His breath warmed her lips, and he kissed her softly. All her hopes and dreams tumbled together in this one twilight. “Tonight, when you pulled me onto the dance floor, when you were in my arms, it felt more than right. I’ve only dreamed about having you that close. I knew if I came with you, we’d end up here, just like I knew it was wrong to keep texting you, but damn if it hasn’t been the highlight of my days, hearing from you when I first wake and before I hit the pillow at night.”
She put her hand on his chest and gave him a gentle shove back. “Why would wanting me be wrong?”
“Because I won’t keep you. I can’t love you the way you deserve. I don’t have it in me. You’re young, a brilliant anthropologist, the sister of one of my brothers. I’m selfish for wanting more with you, but betraying Julian by sleeping with his sister before I cast her aside would not only be wrong but would destroy Joker and hurt you. The idea of hurting you in any way, after all you’ve done to help me remember and honor Quinn in the way she deserves, would be the worst mistake of my life.”
“Do you want me only because you feel like I helped you?” Since she’d returned to Paraguay she’d asked herself something similar over and over. Was Archer on her mind so often because she was dissatisfied with her career and leaning on him as an excuse? Or was it past time to admit that maybe this life wasn’t the one she wanted for herself after all?
“No, Addy. I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“Our jobs constantly have us moving. I’m not asking for ties or promises.”
“I won’t change my mind. I’ll hurt you.”
Then it struck her. He’d lost so much, and he was scared to death of caring about someone. “Let me worry about myself.” She lifted a hand to his cheek. Her mother walking away in no way matched watching a disease slowly strip his sister of her vitality and life. That trauma was imbedded into him. She angled her body and placed a hand on his chest, urging him to lie down on the soft moss.
“Addy, I—” The wild scents of the forest at night surrounded them, the bite in the air urging her to cover his body and warm them both. Maybe she was being stupid thinking that she could heal Archer’s hurts. Things that burned so bright were bound to blister and scald eventually. Profound feelings could transform into extraordinary hurt, but Archer made her heart glow like sunrise. He was worth the risk.