Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
The murmur of conversation over the rumble of the bus woke Ray. He was sore in a way he hadn’t been in so long, and that was damn good. Zavier had fucked him. Spanked and fucked him. Made him cry with pain, pleasure, and understanding, then taken him out of this world.
Wasn’t love—Zavier had been pretty darn clear about that—but it was something strong. Friendship. Caring. Ray trusted Zavier, and Zavier liked him. Behind the weight of that utter truth, all the shit Carl had said slid into the background.
“You should show him.” Dom’s voice.
“I will.” Zavier did one of his bitter chuckle things. “I didn’t realize what the pictures of us onstage looked like to everyone.”
Mish snorted. “Oh, hon. For how observant you are, you have a huge fucking blind spot, don’t you?”
“You’re not the first to say that.”
The coffee machine gurgled. Oh, thank god. Ray flipped over onto his back and every nerve fired at once. “Ow, fuck!” He clamped a hand over his mouth, but the damage was done. They knew he was awake now.
Mish was laughing. By the time Ray crawled out of his bunk and flopped into his usual spot on the couch—wincing as he did—Dom was blushing, probably because he’d seen Ray too many times the morning after a good round of sex. Plus Zavier had that smirk.
“So you did fuck last night.” Dom looked right at Ray, but reading his expression was impossible, because it looked a little like relief and that couldn’t be right.
Zavier held up the carafe. “Coffee, Ray?”
“Please.” He cleared his throat and met Dom’s gaze. “Yeah. We fucked last night.”
“Took you long enough.” Dom looked longingly at the coffeepot.
What? “Umm...” He stared at Dom.
“Jesus, you guys have wanted into each other’s pants since the audition.” Dom rolled his eyes. “Then you were such shits to each other with the taunting and teasing. It was getting damn annoying.”
Ray didn’t know what to say. Zavier was blatantly not looking his way at all as he poured two mugs, though his smile was that fucking know-it-all number he wore sometimes. Ray settled on watching Mish.
She shrugged. “I’m with Dom on this. You guys got it out of your system?”
It was Zavier who answered. “No.” A simple word. He handed Ray coffee and sat next to him with his own. “Not at all.”
Now Dom had that fucking smirk. “Yeah, didn’t think it would be that easy for either of you.”
Well—yeah, Ray wasn’t satisfied with only one night with Zav.
Didn’t expect it to be just one night, either.
Especially not when it came to the whole spanking and ordering part.
He wanted more of that—and more of Zavier screwing him into mindless pleasure.
But also more of that singular understanding. The way Zav had tucked him in.
Shit. Because he hadn’t expected Zavier to take care of him like that. His cheeks heated and he sipped his coffee. “Um, what were you guys talking about before I got up?”
They all moved cagily. Well, not Zavier—he pulled out his tablet, woke it up, and handed it to Ray. “Tell me what you see.”
Shit. Shit. It was a photo of him and Zav, standing outside the concert venue, when he’d been so fucking upset at Carl. You could see both their faces. His was full of anger and pain, and Zavier was a picture of sex and determination. They looked exactly like two men about to go fuck.
Which they had been.
“We’re...this is right before we came back to the bus.”
Zavier nodded, took a sip of coffee, and scrolled the photo up so the headline appeared.
ENEMIES OR LOVERS?
Oh. Ray scrolled the photo back and took another look. Yeah, okay. They might have also been about ready to scream at each other. “I—what do we do about it?”
Zavier grunted. “Let me show you a few other things.”
More photos, this time from a couple concerts. All of Ray or Zavier or both. And their expressions when they looked at each other—holy shit. No wonder Dom wasn’t surprised.
“I didn’t realize I was so—” Ray waved a hand “—obvious.” He sipped his coffee to steady him.
“Same, actually. Usually I’m more opaque.”
Mish rose and got her own coffee, and one for Dom. “Both of you are so open when we’re onstage.” She settled back down onto the couch and lifted an eyebrow at Zavier. “I’m guessing you were a lot less expressive when playing in an orchestra.”
Zavier seemed to think about that for a while. “It was different. There was passion, but it was more personal, more contained. Shorter bursts.”
Mish nodded. “Well, there you go.”
Ray eyed the tablet. “You have another tab open.”
“Ah. Yes. That one.” Zavier waved at the tablet. “Open it.”
Ray clicked on it and stared. “This is a fanfic site.” Then he read and his stomach dropped straight through the floor of the bus.
It was a fanfic page for Twisted Wishes.
Real person fanfic. And he was staring at the category list for Ray/Zav.
The number of fics was impressive, given that Zavier had been in the band all of two and a half months. “Fuck.”
Part of him was really creeped out. He wasn’t a fictional character to play around with. Flesh and blood. Real feelings. But another part of him was a very curious. “Have you read any of these?”
A pause while Zavier drank some coffee. Then he shrugged. “I skimmed a few. You’re not you and I’m not me and some of the acts—well. I think we’d need to be made of something a bit more bendable than bone.”
Dom snorted.
“Yeah, but they got any good ideas? Should we be taking notes?”
Zavier pinned Ray with a gaze that made the rest of the world drop away. “I have a much better set of notes for that, Ray.”
“TMI,” Dom practically squeaked.
And hell, Ray’s dick went all nice and hard for Zavier’s voice and the way it played along his nerves. Notes. Zavier had notes on how to fuck him. He shivered and gulped down another couple swallows of coffee. “Okay. But what do we do about all of it?”
Zavier waved a hand. “Own it.”
“You mean, tell people?” God, Carl would flip. On the other hand... Carl would flip and there was a certain delight in that.
Mish cleared her throat. “Honey, the interesting thing is that by and large, the fans love the thought of you and Zav.”
“You wouldn’t actually have to say anything,” Dom said. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. I mean, it’s not like you guys stare goo-goo eyes at each other. Or that you’re all over each other, touching and kissing.”
Zavier shook his head. “Not at all my thing.”
Because Zavier didn’t do relationships.
“Yeah, so if you stare at each other like you want to set each other on fire, that’s like...normal.” Dom blushed. “Well, for you two.”
Because it was all about the benefits of being friends. The heat and the sex and kneeling at Zavier’s feet. Man, Ray’s dick really was into that, too. And his pulse and his blood.
“Makes sense,” he murmured. He finished his coffee, then rose. “I should go shower. We gotta be close to the venue, and if I’m sitting here in sweatpants and nothing else, that’s just one more thing for Carl to dig into me about.”
He set the mug on the counter. “Thanks for the coffee, Zav.” And last night. And taking care of him. But he couldn’t say those, so he scooped up his toiletry bag and a set of clean clothes, and headed to the back of the bus.
Ray showered using cooler water than he generally did, and dressed quickly. He had a good deal of stubble, but there’d be time before the show to shave. Or maybe he wouldn’t.
When he stepped out of the bathroom, he wasn’t all that surprised to find Zavier sitting in the little lounge, and the privacy curtain drawn shut. “Hey.”
Zavier smiled and cocked his finger, beckoning Ray to him.
With a start, Ray realized Zavier was sitting exactly where he had been last night. He crossed what little distance that divided them and knelt. No idea why, but it seemed the perfect thing to do. The effects of his cooler-than-normal shower evaporated as heat and need took over.
“Oh, very good.” Soft words. Zavier cupped Ray’s face and stroked his cheeks. “Close your eyes and breathe. Listen. Wait.”
Ray did as told, and everything turned sublime. The rumble of the bus. Zavier’s warm hands. His own breath, in and out. No idea how long they sat there.
“Don’t open your eyes.” Another brush of Zavier’s thumb. “I want you to tell me the truth—are you fine with us not hiding this? Being—not obvious, but not concealing, either.”
“Yeah.” The answer was simple, and it startled Ray a little. “Doesn’t change much, does it?”
“For the people out there? No. For us? Maybe. It’s an acknowledgment, Dom and Mish knowing.”
“Just means they’ll give us space.”
Zavier’s chuckle was low. “Like now.”
Ray tried to nod. “Do you want—I mean—” He sighed. “I was trying not to be turned on by you. Took a cold shower and everything.”
“And here you are, all nice and hard for me again.” Zavier grinned. “I could get you off. Probably quicker than you’d like, but we are in a time crunch.”
Ray swayed as the bus slowed down and pulled around a curve.
“Or,” Zavier continued, “you can hold on to that need until later, and I can draw it out of you slowly and in ways you may not have experienced before.”
Ray shivered. “The second option sounds like it might kill me. I want that.”
Zavier stroked his thumb over Ray’s lips. “Give me your hand.”
He did, and Zavier brought it to his own thick erection, housed in his jeans. “You’re not the only one waiting for later.”
“Good.” Ray licked his lips and tasted traces of salt and Zavier. “If we’re gonna do this, I want you as invested.”
Zavier sat back and chuckled. “I am. Believe me.” He rose and pulled Ray up. “Come on, let’s go look bored and tired for Carl. I think we’re nearly there.”
Yeah, the bus was moving a lot slower now. Ray grabbed his shower gear while Zavier opened the curtain and headed up front. After Ray shoved his shit into his bunk, he joined the others. “We didn’t figure out the set list.”
Mish pursed her lips. “Let’s talk it out over catered donuts and a shit-ton more coffee.”