Chapter 18 #3
“I have something for you.” He let Ray’s T-shirt cover up the bite mark. “To keep you grounded.”
“It’s not something like a butt plug, is it?”
Zavier laughed. “I don’t think you’d be able to move like you do onstage with even the smallest plug.” He paused. “Have you been plugged in the past?”
Red touched Ray’s cheeks. “No.”
“Played with toys?”
He shook his head.
Oh, good. So some of the other items would be a new experience for Ray, too. “It’s not a butt plug.” He pulled a thin, tightly woven rainbow-colored cotton bracelet out of his pocket. Ray studied it and held out his wrist.
“No. That’s not where it’s going.” Zavier smiled at Ray. Oh, the confusion, then realization. That blush grew deeper and he shifted from foot to foot. “If you’re willing.”
“On my dick.” Ray licked his lips. “You want to tie it around my dick.”
Zavier nodded and waited.
“Yeah. God, yeah. Do it.”
So Zavier did. Even dropped to his knees to unzip Ray’s pants, which got him a moan.
Ray was already semi-hard by the time Zavier freed his dick.
Precome and everything. He stole a taste of salt from the tip and savored Ray’s gasp and tremble.
Then he tied the bracelet around the base, tucked Ray back in the best he could, and zipped him up.
Huge pupils, flushed face. “I can feel it.”
“That’s the point. I want you to feel it. I want you to know who owns your ass, at least in bed.”
Ray swallowed. “I thought this was just a sex thing. Not that you own me own me.”
Yeah, they were walking close to that line. “It’s a game. You’re still your own. You can take that off if you want and nothing will come of it, I promise.” Zavier cocked his head. “You can always, always say no to me.”
“Green,” Ray murmured.
This man was too much. Zavier took that mouth until Ray moaned, then broke the kiss. “Let’s go kill ’em tonight.”
They did exactly that until they were drenched in sweat and exhausted.
Zavier’s back burned and Ray looked like he might fall over, though his smile was so bright they could use it as a spotlight.
Carl lurked in the wings, frowning, and once the encores were over he marched into the green room, where the band had collapsed, and pointed at Ray. “What the hell is that?”
Ray followed the path of Carl’s pointing finger to his shoulder. “It’s a hickey. A bite mark.” Carl stared. Ray stared back before lifting an eyebrow. “Yeah, I got it during sex. You got a problem with that?”
Rather than reply, Carl stomped out of the room.
Dom shook his head, finally not blushing at the mention of sex. “You’d think he’d never met rock stars before.”
“He’s probably going to try to figure out who gave it to Ray.” Mish rubbed her feet. “Which is idiotic, ’cause Zav’s right here.”
Zavier couldn’t help laughing. If Carl didn’t want to put two and two together, well, he wasn’t about to help him.
They cleaned up for the signing lines—Ray back in a T-shirt—and managed to get through everyone before midnight.
Then it was back onto the bus and off to Utah.
Long trip, but one with a hotel room at the end and a day off from playing.
Even with Ray giving him those long, hooded looks, Zavier didn’t have much energy left, either to dominate or fuck.
Still, when Ray headed toward the back of the bus, he followed.
Mish and Dom both had smirks. Zavier rolled his eyes at them, but smiled anyway. He pulled the privacy curtain closed.
Ray stood in the space, swaying with the bus, and staring at the couch on which they’d taken so much pleasure. “I had to ditch the bracelet. It was pretty disgusting by the time the concert was over.”
“That’s fine.” Zavier swept a hand over Ray’s back. He felt the shudder when he cupped Ray’s neck. “Figured that might happen.”
“Hence string and not leather?” Ray met his gaze. There was a hunger there, a deep, deep hunger. But none of the other signs that meant Ray was a live wire of lust.
“Exactly.” He let his hand fall away. “Is there something you want?”
Ray nodded slowly. “It’s—not sex, though. I’m beat.”
“Ditto.”
“But my mind won’t stop. I—god. Do you ever get music and words and everything just—tangled up in there?”
“No, but other things, yes.” He pulled Ray toward the couch. “Tell me about it.”
Ray sat and dropped his hands into his head.
“The words are easy to get out. I write them down, even if they’re shitty.
But the music—the colors and the shapes and the lines—I can’t stop seeing them.
Feeling them in my blood.” He lifted his head.
“I bet that makes no sense. I’ve tried to tell Mish and Dom, but they don’t get it. ”
“Don’t worry about it making sense to me.” Zavier focused on Ray, whose gaze shifted from object to object in the room. “Tell me anyway. I want to know.”
“I...see music, Zav. Like see it. Shapes and colors and...” He shrugged. “Been that way forever. I put hues and forms together on the guitar until they look right.”
Fuck, Ray really had been a musical prodigy. Hell. Someone should have noticed. “Synesthesia,” he said.
Ray nodded. “Yeah. I found out there was a name for it on the internet.” He laughed. “Was kind of a relief.”
One Zavier knew well, for different reasons.
“I do note things down with colored pens and stuff. But sometimes my brain gets so fucking full.” Ray sighed and collapsed against the back of the couch.
“Would it be weird if I—knelt at your feet? Like the first time? Not for sex. Not even to submit or whatever it is I do when I get all out of my head to obey you—but just to be here? With you?”
The worry there. Warmth spread through Zavier, and his chest ached. “Ray, you can always kneel like that if you need to. Or we can sit. Whatever you need from me.” He dropped his hand on Ray’s knee. Kept it there.
Ray relaxed under his touch. “Told you I was a burden. Just ask Dom.”
“Shush. I bet Dom would disagree.”
“Oh, he would, just to spite me.” Ray rolled his head and met Zavier’s gaze. “He’s put up with my antics for years, but we’re not like this.” He gestured between the two of them. “He’s not touchy-feely. You like touching me.”
“Like I said, not entirely altruistic on my part.”
Ray laughed. “But it’s not always sexual.”
That was true, too. He pulled Ray’s head down into his lap. “This okay, or do you really want to kneel on the floor with your forehead on my shoes?”
“Wanna do both. But this is fine.” Ray’s words were soft, and his body relaxed.
Zavier stroked his hair. “Tell me what you see.”
“I’m calling it ‘Dare to Be.’” Then Ray whispered words and colors.
Shapes. Sometimes he spoke so low, Zavier couldn’t hear.
He also tapped out a beat on Zavier’s thigh, one Zavier echoed and improvised with on his back, until Ray was humming and singing and then slipping into sleep.
A continuation of the song Ray’d been working on before.
And now Zavier had the name—one even Mish and Dom didn’t know. He held on to that like a talisman.
How many years had it been since he’d had a friend like Ray?
One he could sit and be with? He couldn’t remember.
Once sex came into the picture, everyone had always expected more from him.
Some great romantic connection. Dinners and presents and declarations.
But Ray didn’t seem to need that and it was a fucking miracle.
He fell asleep at some point, too, and woke when Mish pulled back the privacy curtain. She smiled at them and pointed to the bathroom.
Zavier waved his hand. He could stay like his forever, but Ray would probably be more comfortable in his bunk. He stroked his fingers through Ray’s hair. “Hey...”
Ray stirred. “Fuck—uh. What time is it?”
“No idea. Mish needed the bathroom and that woke me up.”
Ray gripped Zavier’s knee. “Guess we should sleep in real beds, huh?”
“That’s not until Utah. But you’re gonna get a huge knot in your neck if you sleep on me all night.”
Ray moaned and sat up. “Yeah. Probably.”
When Mish cleared the bathroom, they all headed up and crawled into their respective berths.
“Zav?” Ray’s voice filtered down from above.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for listening.”
Yeah, there was that warm content feeling again. Like sitting in the sun or lying on a beach. A perfect moment. “Always.”
Nothing more, just the rumble of the bus and the soft sounds of his bandmates falling asleep.