Chapter 11 Alic
ALIC
Itold myself I did it because I was worried that she wasn’t taking this stalker seriously.
I swore that I had to do it because I needed to protect her at all costs.
But the truth? I didn’t trust that she’d do what needed to be done.
Not after she tried to hide it, not after she admitted she liked it, so I went behind her back.
I called Nova.
I picked the one person Aniyah wouldn’t instantly shut out, wouldn’t steamroll or seduce into silence.
Someone she respected. Someone she’d listen to.
And Nova, being Nova, she heard me out, thanked me, and said she’d set up a meeting for tomorrow, but the second Aniyah opened her door the next morning, that guilt hit me like a fist to the gut. I couldn’t even look at her.
I brushed her off when she asked what was wrong, and when she told me she wanted to sit down and talk later, I just nodded like a coward and lied straight through my teeth. “It can wait,” I had said, even though her voice had been soft like she actually wanted to spend time with me.
Then her phone pinged on the way into the club.
She glanced at the screen, and I saw it. That shift. That pause. I knew it was Nova.
She looked up at me again, apologizing profusely like she had done something wrong.
I ducked out and ran to the security room, telling myself I had to do a perimeter check, but really, I just couldn’t face what I’d done. I couldn’t stand the idea of being in the same room when it all clicked together for her. When she knew what I had done.
Sticking my head into her office to warn her, my eyes connected with the dirty blond earth mage that was her second and concierge for the club. To me, he seemed too relaxed, too at home in her office, and my hand tightened on the knob before shutting the door.
It was not my place to judge, just to protect.
Van came out first, nodding to me with a smirk, then waltzed off without a care. What was that about? Did Aniyah say something about me? Or worse, could he tell I was keeping something from her?
My head was spinning with different scenarios when Aniyah came out, and I followed behind her to her apartment, cursing Van and his stupid looks.
After seeing her in her apartment, I waited outside like normal, watching and listening for intruders as well as what she was doing inside. I was so used to all the sounds of this floor that I could tell where she was purely by the clacking sound of her shoes.
It sounded like she was trying to figure out what she was going to wear tonight, then she turned up the music loud enough to drown out her steps and make the walls vibrate. She seemed to be enjoying herself, and that made me smile.
A ding of the elevator sounded, and Nova stepped out onto the floor. I immediately stood straight with my hands behind me, looking forward, as the woman who’d given me a chance at my lowest point came up and patted me on the shoulder.
Before I could speak, she put a finger to her lips, listening to the song before kicking the door in and belting right along with her little sister.
Closing the door to give them the sense of privacy, I tried to ignore the ball of worry that had unfurled in my chest. She’d handle it.
Aniyah would finally get serious, and we could make a plan to hunt this freak down and end it, sending a message to all the others.
After the song ended, I decided to walk the hallway, trying to give them the space to talk while my heart pounded a mile a minute. There was some yelling, but it ended just as quickly as it started.
Soon, a familiar set of heels click-clacked their way to the door, and I rushed to stand next to it, facing forward like I hadn't been worried about a thing.
Nova winked at me on her way out, with Aniyah seeing her to the elevator, and at the time, I thought it meant we were good. That she’d gotten through to her. Then Aniyah turned the corner, and my blood went cold.
She didn’t look at me. Didn’t smirk or roll her eyes or toss a flirty comment about how tight my shirt, which I wore for her, was. I wasn’t worthy of even a glance. I was nothing.
Then I figured it out. That wink?
That was a warning.
The second she stopped in front of me, all calm and poised, her eyes cutting right through me, I knew I was done for.
I opened my mouth to explain, to say something, anything, but she shut it down. Told me to shut the fuck up. Called me a traitor and slammed the door in my face.
That word, traitor, burned down my chest, settling in my gut like glass shards, twisting and cutting me from the inside out. This was worse than taking any injury, worse than going rounds with a bigger, better fighter. This cut me down to my soul.
The way she looked at me was like I didn’t even exist to her. No rage. No threats. No heat. Just... nothing.
She walked past me like I was air. Looked through me like I was invisible, like I was never there to begin with. It was worse than any punishment she could’ve given me.
I wanted to touch her, just once. I longed to tuck that wild strand of hair behind her ear as I whispered that I was sorry, that I didn’t mean to betray her. I just… I panicked and didn’t know what else to do. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I fucked up.
I’d give anything to see those golden pink jeweled eyes look up at me with that spark again. The hunger. The trust.
Even if I could never act on it.
Even if I knew better.
Even if someone like me was never meant to have someone like her.
A few minutes later, I got a text from Nova: Keep your eyes open. It meant Aniyah had convinced her that she was right, and I was wrong. I had done all of this for nothing.
If I’d just kept my mouth shut and waited, like she said, nothing would’ve changed between us, but now that was all gone and I was left torn to pieces at her feet.
I’d been assigned to her for a little over a year—over three-hundred-sixty-five days of pure torture.
She was my chaos and my command. Walking temptation in sequins and lace, answering the door in her underwear, tossing innuendos out like weapons, asking me to zip up her dresses when I knew damn well she could do it herself.
That time in the rope room… fuck.
She had staged an emergency just to see if I’d come running, and of course I did.
Seeing her there, tied up, looking at me like a dare wrapped in silk.
.. All pink lips and glittering mischief without a hint of shame, I wanted her.
God, I wanted her, but I never touched her. Never crossed that line because I knew.
A male like me? I didn’t get to have a female like her.
She was untouchable. A legacy. Fire and fury and royalty wrapped in a delicious attitude that burned at my too-tough skin. She could command gods and monsters and still slept like a kitten on silk sheets.
And me? I was just her shadow. The one to watch and protect. The forever silent shield at her side.
I was never supposed to want her, but I did. In the depths of my soul, I sang her name, craving a connection I had no business craving. She was made for crowns and constellations, while I was made to watch from below.
And now, I’d lost the only valuable thing I ever really had—her trust.
Without it, I was nothing but a ghost bleeding out on the floor, hoping she’d glance down long enough to notice me fading away.
She went back to the club, and I followed her, like always.
Only this time, she didn’t glance over her shoulder or wait for me to catch up.
No teasing smile. No eye contact. Just cold, purposeful strides.
Doors slammed in my face, and when someone asked her a question that involved me, she smiled sweetly, like she hadn’t heard a damn thing.
Like I was invisible. A stranger in her shadow.
I told myself she needed space. Told myself to be professional, keep it together.
So, I moved through my routine, checking in with the surveillance room and giving floor orders to the security teams, but none of it anchored me.
None of it kept the cold depths of despair from spreading inside, curling around my chest, and sinking into my bones.
It was like I was walking through snow, barefoot, naked, with no end in sight.
Then came the voice that snapped something inside me.
“What the fuck did you do now, you gorilla?!”
My teeth clenched, and my magic spread throughout my whole body, hardening my skin.
I stood frozen for a heartbeat, body locked tight as stone.
Normally, I could ignore the gorilla shit since everyone joked about my size, assuming I was just a dumb wall of muscle, but today? Today, I was hanging on by a thread.
I turned slowly, already bracing for it, and there he was—Van in all his golden glory.
Every damn hair in place, his smug face lit up like the lights were staged just for him.
Blond streaks glinting, pretty, polished, he was the kind of man who belonged in her world.
The kind of man who didn’t flinch around power because he wore it just as easily.
Aniyah always looked so natural beside him, like they were carved from the same flawless mold. He could talk to her without fumbling, touch her without guilt, and get under her skin without even trying. He got to see her, really see her, while I stayed on the outside looking in, aching and unseen.
And now he was glaring at me like I was the villain in her story. Well, fuck that. I don’t have to take shit from him.
“I was trying to protect her, and I made a mistake.” My voice came out rougher than I wanted. “She’s upset.” It was all I could give. I couldn’t bear him knowing more than that, knowing how deeply I’d fucked up.
He tilted his chin at me like I was something he’d scraped off his boot. “If she’s this pissed, you didn’t just make a mistake. You betrayed her. You think you’re irreplaceable just because Nova handpicked you?”
Irreplaceable? That thought never crossed my mind. I was an ugly troll in a pretty magical fairy world. Of course I was replaceable.
I’d always known what I was, a wall, a weapon, a shield for beings more important than me, but coming from him? It didn’t sound like a fact. It sounded like a condemnation. Like I had no business being near her.
I said nothing and took the hit like I’d been trained to, trying to let it slide off my back so I could get back to work.
He kept going, stepping closer to jab a finger into my chest. “You’re supposed to be her shield. Her last line of defense. That’s your whole purpose. So, what’s the point of all this bulk,” he motioned to my whole body, “if you can’t do your damn job, troll?”
Troll.
That word echoed like a hammer in my skull, dragging up a thousand memories I’d buried in the dirt. Memories from a life before this one. A boy covered in scars, being bought and sold, listening to the insults higher beings threw in his face.
What a pathetic creature. Troll. Not worthy enough to look at, let alone consider.
He’s not fit for the palace. Not pleasing enough to the eye.
Keep that thing out of my sight. If I see it, I will whip him until I feel better.
Only good for guarding those royals we shun. Give him to Mia.
My breathing stuttered. My vision blurred. The room tipped sideways. The monster inside me, my oldest, truest self, rose up in my chest like a scream I couldn’t swallow.
“I’m not worthless!” I roared, shoving someone aside. My fists flew before I could stop them. One crash, then another. When I blinked, there was a hole in the wall. My hand throbbed, and splinters stuck out of my skin since I’d clipped a stud wall.
“Oh, shit.” I didn't know what else to say.
Van stood there, arms crossed, smirking like I was just proving his point. I opened my mouth to apologize, then stopped short. Rubbing a hand over my face, I tried to ground myself, tried to shove all that broken, bleeding shame back down.
“I’ll... I’ll pay for the wall,” I muttered, tonguing the inside of my cheek, eyes fixed anywhere but on his.
“Yeah, you will,” Van said smoothly. Then, just as he passed me, he murmured, “But if you fix it fast, she doesn’t need to know about it.”
I blinked, watched the back of his head as he kept walking, not once looking back.
He still annoyed the hell out of me, but for the first time, I felt something else, too, just a flicker of it. Respect.
Pulling out my phone, I called in a favor, someone who owed me, someone I knew wouldn’t ask questions.
They said they’d be here right away. I let out a slow breath, grounding myself.
Nova hadn’t fired me or pulled me off the assignment.
In fact, she’d told me to keep my eyes open. That had to mean something.
The ice in my chest began to crack, just a little, as quiet resolve settled in its place.
I didn’t need to have Aniyah. I didn’t need her eyes to find mine with softness or want.
I could bear the ache, this impossible longing, until the end of time, as long as I was allowed to stay near her. Protect her. Watch over her.
That would be enough. It had to be.