Chapter 21 Rasmus #2
Her eyes shifted. The steel didn’t leave her stance, but something flickered in her expression, an almost imperceptible softening. Still, she didn’t speak.
I could see it on her face. She didn't know if she trusted me, trusted what I was saying. I needed to prove it to her somehow. Then an idea clicked, one that I never wanted to unearth if I didn't have to, but here we were.
“Let me show you something,” I said, my voice quieter now, almost pleading. “It’ll help explain everything.”
She raised a brow but didn’t stop me. The subtle tip of her chin gave me permission to get going.
My hands trembled as I opened the top drawer and dug into the back. Old pain rose like smoke from a wound, but I shoved it down. This wasn’t about me. It was about her.
I placed the small plastic card on the desk.
She stepped forward, fingers brushing over the card. “A room key to the—”
Her voice faded. Her brow furrowed as realization dawned, then her eyes snapped up to mine.
“It’s not the one you gave me,” I said quickly, shame thick in my throat. “That one was stolen. By him. That fucking wolf.”
I spat the word, disgusted at myself for not protecting what she had given me. For being so stupid. For letting that moment be taken from us.
She stood frozen, eyes wide as her hand curled around the key. “You… you were the mystery man at my birthday?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “The one I danced with?”
I nodded. The words I wanted to say—the one who made you come in front of the whole room, claiming you with my mouth before I even knew your face or name—lodged in my throat. Now wasn’t the time.
“You told me to wait thirty minutes,” I said instead, “so I went to get champagne. Flowers. I wanted to make the night perfect, but when I got back…” My voice cracked. “There was nothing left but a destroyed room.”
Her fingers still played with the key, eyes lost in memories of the past. My hands itched to reach for her, to make her understand.
“I applied for the IT job your brother posted after you announced taking your boss seat and your move to New York. I figured… at least I could look after you, protect you.”
She looked at me like I was a story she’d never read, her head slowly shaking.
I reached for her hand, weaving my fingers through hers.
“I failed you that night, so I’ve spent every day since trying to earn the right to be near you again.
Watching over you. It was so lonely, but then I started to collect memories, pieces of you I could take, could cherish…
and then it grew into that.” I paused, my breath catching like I’d been running.
“I don’t care if I’m your mate. I don’t care if you never want one or if you want fifty.
Just let me stay near you. Let me be the shadow to your fire. That’s all I ask.”
She bit her lip and looked away, and I forced myself to stay still, to let her process.
Then, without a word, she slipped from my grasp and walked past me. I turned, pulse pounding, only to see her lift one of the roses from the vase on the side table at the end.
She twirled the stem, brought the bloom to her nose, inhaled, and then looked at me, something wicked and beautiful blooming across her face.
“You’re the stalker,” she said, her voice deceptively light. “The secret admirer?”
I flinched. “Yes.”
Idiot, I cursed myself. She should’ve heard it from me, not pieced it together. Stupid. You’re so fucking stupid, Ras!
Mid-mental tirade, her hands, warm, soft, and real, cupped my face. I blinked, stunned, as she leaned in, her face etched in mystical mirth.
“Wanna know a secret?” she murmured against my skin, making my whole body quake.
I nodded.
“I like that you’re my stalker,” she whispered, brushing her lips over my cheek. “Knowing you were the one watching me? It gives me goosebumps. It excites me, and I want more.”
*My knees almost buckled.
She wants it. All of it. My obsession. My devotion.
Did I die and go to heaven? I didn’t think demons were allowed there.
Just when my whole world was beginning to feel whole again, pain knifed through my stomach so fast, so sharp, I couldn’t breathe. I doubled over, breath gone, as everything inside me seized with white-hot agony.
“Ras! Rasmus!”
Aniyah’s voice sliced through the storm as her arms reached for me. I twisted mid-fall, taking the brunt of the impact to keep her safe. My shoulder slammed into the hardwood, and the jolt sent a fresh spear of pain through my entire body.
“Fuck!” she gasped. “What’s going on?!”
Her panic was chaos wrapped in velvet, beautiful, frantic music that somehow soothed the screaming fire inside me. I couldn’t believe she was here. In my house. Touching me. Worrying about me while it felt like my insides were detonating.
Somehow, the pain, savage, unforgiving, was laced with a thrill so wrong, so right, it made my head spin.
Her scent was everywhere, her voice wrapping around me with the softness of silk.
I’d never felt this kind of exquisite torment before, with every nerve in my body being pulled taut in her direction.
“It’s okay, my star,” I managed, though my voice cracked like glass. I hated the weakness in it. “I-I… if you could g-get me the pills. Drawer…”
The words tasted of blood, of failure, but she moved.
I bit down hard, trying to ground myself through the pain, but it only surged higher, crashing through me in tidal waves. My muscles twitched uncontrollably, and I had to admit that I couldn’t hide it from her now. Couldn’t pretend to be smooth or strong. My body had other plans.
Aniyah scrambled to the desk, yanking open the drawer. “Magic blockers?” she read aloud, confused. “Why do you need that?”
I could barely see her past the blur of agony. My palms ached from how tightly I’d curled them, my nails cutting deep into flesh. I forced myself to move, to crawl, to try blowing out pained breaths with every inch.
“I’ve been taking those… since that night.” I collapsed onto one arm as another wave knocked the wind out of me, leaving me trembling on my knees before her.
Her eyes locked on mine, searching, dissecting. I saw it—a flash of concern, confusion, anger. Maybe even fear, but she stayed.
“My magic,” I gasped, clutching at the burning pit in my gut. “It only works if I make someone come.”
A twitch of amusement, just a flicker, played at the corners of her mouth, and I nearly laughed. I wanted her to enjoy this, if only to ease the shame clawing at my throat. If she could find a sliver of pleasure in my unraveling, then maybe it would be worth it.
“And you haven’t made anyone come since… me?”
Her voice faltered on the last word, but I nodded. The pain had spread everywhere now, thick and choking. My tongue was going numb. That was new.
She stared at me, jaw slack, hand white-knuckling the pill bottle. Her eyes flashed, sharp, furious, protective.
“What does your magic do?” she asked, the words low and lethal.
My vision darkened at the edges, but I fought to keep her in focus. “Nothing… that would hurt you,” I choked out.
Then I gave up. Fully collapsed. The pain swallowed me whole, and I let it. If this was how I died, at her feet where I belonged, then so be it.
Instead of letting me fade into the pain, I heard something hitting the trash can. The pill bottle? Then the soft rustle of fabric. Her steps neared.
I tried to lift my head, but it was too much. Everything burned. Suddenly, I felt her.
Aniyah straddled me, her body flush against mine. Warm, solid, real. I barely registered the way she pulled her top over her head and shimmied closer until all I could feel was her skin against mine.
“Then I guess we’re going to find out,” she whispered.
Her hands found mine, guiding them up along her sides, letting me touch. Her skin was satin over steel, hot and electrifying. My cock jumped hard, painfully eager despite the pain that still curled in my stomach. She smiled like she felt it, like she wanted that reaction.
“What do you need?” she murmured, her voice wrapping around my senses, encompassing me in her presence.
I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. All I knew was her.
“You,” I said, raw and shaking. “I only ever need you.”
She giggled, and it sounded like salvation. Her lips brushed my neck, teasing fire into my bloodstream.
“Perfect,” she breathed, her breath dancing over my ear. “Then that’s what you’ll get.”
She rocked against me gently, her heat seeping through every barrier of pain, turning agony into pressure, pressure into need. It was blinding, the way pleasure began to overwhelm the torment. Her body was somehow pulling my magic back into alignment.
She was remaking me from the inside out, and I let her. I let her take me apart because if this was what it meant to be hers...
There was no place I’d rather be.
* Song: Fever by ENHYPEN