Chapter 15 #3
No more Manshu. No more being cornered, threatened, or dragged into things I couldn’t fight. Even as a newly turned vampire, no one could mess with me, especially if the Syndicate was behind me.
My eyes drifted to the side, looking at myself in the mirror with a refreshed sense of self. I wasn't a weak and defenseless human anymore. Not just a food source for those that could take it if they wanted to. I was one of them now. A monster.
Even if I was a weak supe by their standards, I had a name behind me now. A dangerous one. One that was not to be fucked with. The tips of my lips curled up.
Never again would I let myself be weak and broken before another. Never again.
Rack cleared his throat, and I blinked back to the present. The heat off his body stretched out toward mine as I realized how close he’d gotten.
He was close enough now that I could see the freckle next to his upper lip. “You’ll need to train with Calix,” he said. “He’ll teach you about blood, how to control your urges, and all the things your new body can do.”
His fingers shifted, lightly tracing along my neck, and a warm spark followed the path. My breath caught before I could stop it, my body leaning into the touch like it recognized it.
“But don’t forget,” he murmured, his gaze locking onto mine, “you’re still my Flame.”
My throat tightened as his hand drifted up to catch a strand of my hair, slowly twirling it as he watched me.
“I don’t expect anything from you,” he went on, a little more earnest now, choosing each word carefully. “I know this is new. I know you didn’t grow up with… any of this, and it can be overwhelming.”
He paused, his lips pressed together briefly before he pushed through it.
“But I want the chance to know you and for you to know me.” His thumb brushed over my ring finger, circling it slowly. “And maybe… someday… if you let me…”
The implication landed harder than anything else. My chest tightened so fast I sucked in a sharp breath, my heart slamming against my ribs.
He noticed immediately.
“Hey, hey.” He quickly stepped back, hands lifting like he was trying not to spook me. “Breathe. I’m not—there’s no pressure.”
I dragged in air, trying to steady myself as he softened again.
“I just wanted to be honest with you, and you with me,” he added, offering a small, crooked smile. “You can tell me if it’s too much. I will always respect your words and how you feel.”
The air between us was charged, thick with feelings and thoughts I didn't quite understand.
My body wanted him, that was for sure, and my mouth was already watering for another taste of him, but my mind just hadn't caught up.
I was overloaded with so many other things I couldn't possibly think of something like… committing to forever with someone.
“There's no rush,” he said. “We can take it slow and see where this goes.” His boyish smile had butterflies filling my stomach. “We have all the time in the world.”
I knew his words were meant to calm me, to reassure me that he didn't expect anything from me, but as soon as they slipped out, my eyes drifted to the mirror.
Forever. This body, this face, was who I would be now and forever.
The word settled somewhere deep, the reality sitting heavy on my chest. I wasn’t going to age. Wasn’t going to change. This was it.
There was a flicker in the back of my mind, something tugging, telling me that something was missing, but it slipped away before I could catch it.
Rack stepped up close, his arms slowly going around me, carefully giving me space to pull away if I wanted, but I didn’t. I kinda liked his scent, his warmth.
I let myself lean into him, into the strange, unfamiliar comfort of being held like I mattered as tears formed in my eyes.
Why am I suddenly sad? Why does it feel like both a beginning but also an end of something else?
My mind kept circling those thoughts, and the fear began to close in. Could I handle this? Could I do this forever?
Just as the edges of a breakdown began heading my way, a loud, sharp, grumble came from my stomach, impossible to ignore.
We froze for a second and glanced at each other through the mirror before we clutched harder to each other and laughed. The sound came easier than I expected.
He pulled back, still smiling, and lightly tugged on my sleeve before slipping his hand into mine.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s fix that. I heard new vampires have a beginning period where they go through a lot of blood.”
I easily took his hand and followed without resisting, trusting him even though I’d barely trusted anyone when I was human.
It didn’t make logical sense really, how I immediately felt safe with him.
It was just instinctual. As I walked beside him, I was…
settled. My body had already decided even if other parts of me were still catching up.
Even though I was happy to be alive, excited, and a little nervous to discover what it meant to be a vampire, I couldn’t shake the deep, lingering ache in my chest that something was missing. That someone was missing.