Chapter 18
OLIVIA
On the drive home, we fell into a strange kind of silence. Not uncomfortable exactly, just heavy.
Rack kept glancing over at me between turns, fingers tapping once against the steering wheel before stopping again. Every few minutes, he tried to explain.
“This is normal for newborn vampires.”
A pause.
“The bloodlust hits hard at first.”
Another glance my way.
“I should’ve gotten you home sooner. Staying at that last store that long was my fault.”
As I stared out the car window, lights streaking across the glass, I realized I didn't have the heart to tell him that wasn't the part that was bothering me.
Rack had offered himself willingly. More than willingly. He’d practically begged me to take from him, and we both got off. My eyes drifted down to the napkins in my hand, evidence that we enjoyed ourselves, so that wasn't the issue.
What left me feeling unsettled was the pull sitting under my ribs like a hook tied to an invisible string. One that led back to the house. Back to Calix.
Every mile closer made that strange pressure tighten. Is that what a maker bond felt like? Some instinctive craving?
The thought made me immediately tense.
No, I reminded myself. Even before all this, before the blood, the turning, the insanity, I’d wanted him.
The back of my calf suddenly itched. I absently scratched it, expecting to feel a bump or a bruise, but there was nothing there. Just a persistent irritation beneath the skin.
Ignoring it, I let my head fall back against the seat.
If I’d never died… If I’d stayed human… If Calix had shown up again the next day asking for another date, another dance, another night…
I would’ve said yes. Without hesitation.
Everything about him lingered in me.
That lazy grin. The way his body moved like he owned every room he entered. The electric spark that snapped through me every time his eyes landed on mine.
And now Rack was there too. Steady. Devoted. Looking at me like I was the center of his entire world and fucking me like I was the only goddess he knew.
It felt like my chest was being pulled in opposite directions at once. Neither was winning, yet I was unable to let either go.
The worst part?
I didn’t hate any of it.
Some twisted part of me felt… settled here. Wanted here. Safe.
I hadn’t felt that way since meeting Alto. The thought of him made my stomach tighten.
More than once, I’d almost called him. My thumb hovered over his number every single time before I chickened out and locked the phone again.
I couldn’t face him yet. Not like this. Not until I understood what I was becoming. Not until I figured out who’d killed me. Not until I felt strong enough to stand in front of him and apologize for everything. And for that, I needed to be stronger.
By the time we pulled into the garage on the side of the house, exhaustion was weighing on me hard.
When I told Rack I wanted to sleep, his brows pulled together.
“Something wrong?”
The concern in his voice almost made me feel worse, and I shook my head quickly.
“I just need time to… process all this.”
His eyes searched my face for another few seconds before he finally nodded. He leaned down, pausing to give me a chance to move away, and when I didn't, he pressed a soft kiss against the top of my head.
My chest squeezed painfully at how gentle he was with me. I hated pulling away afterward. Hated the flicker of doubt that crossed his face before he covered it, but my mind felt too crowded already.
I needed sleep. Needed silence. Needed my instincts and thoughts to stop screaming at me for a little while.
By the time I climbed up to my room and fell into bed, I immediately fell asleep. I got at least a few hours’ worth until a sharp ache twisted through my stomach and ripped me awake.
I bolted upright in bed, blinking at the dark room before checking the clock. 11:39.
“…Seriously?”
A growl rolled through my stomach immediately after, and I stared at the ceiling in disbelief.
I’m hungry again? Fucking hell. It just won't quit. They really weren’t kidding about vampire appetites. I was basically operating on newborn feeding intervals.
My mind immediately drifted toward Rack’s room, remembering what he told me, but the memory of him gripping the stair railing earlier flashed through my head. The slight shake in his posture when he thought I wasn’t looking. Signs that I’d probably taken too much from him in the car.
He needed time to recoup, but I needed blood right now.
Throwing off the covers, I sped my way down to the kitchen refrigerator. This time, I was determined to try the cool puncture-the-blood-bag trick Calix had done. How hard could it be?
If I spilled, how did I clean blood off of marble?
Thunk.
Pain exploded across my forehead, and I stumbled backward, clutching my face, while the refrigerator mockingly stood there, unmoved.
“Son of a bitch!” Apparently, vampire reflexes didn’t stop me from moving like a baby deer on ice.
Grumbling, I yanked the fridge open and grabbed a blood bag. Right as I lifted it toward my mouth, a door slammed somewhere on the second floor.
My body reacted before my brain did.
One second, I was by the fridge, and the next, I was peeking around it, tightly clutching the cool blood bag in my hand.
A tall redheaded woman floated down from the second floor, her wings fluttering irritably behind her while her heels furiously clicked across the marble.
“You want this and want that,” she snapped under her breath while fixing her dress. “The glamor has to be just perfect… then to just leave me hanging?”
Her muttering got quieter as she reached the door.
“I wanted some of that famous Syndicate dick everyone drools over, not a damn paycheck. What a waste of my time. Dick.”
The front door slammed behind her, and a second later, movement caught my attention upstairs.
Calix appeared at the end of the hallway and slowly started down the stairs.
The white tank stretched across his chest, and the gray sweats rode low enough on his hips to make my mouth dry. Dark tattoos crawled down both arms while messy white hair fell across his forehead like he’d been dragging his hands through it repeatedly.
But it wasn’t his body that held me still. It was his face.
His shoulders hung lower than usual. Dark shadows bruised beneath his eyes, and even from across the room, exhaustion clung to him in a way I’d never seen on a supe before. He did not look like he was doing okay.
Stepping out from behind the refrigerator, I barely made a sound, but Calix’s head snapped toward me anyway.
He froze halfway to the kitchen, and something flickered across his face so fast I almost missed it.
Guilt.
The logical part of me latched onto it immediately. He doesn’t owe you anything. He isn’t yours. He can sleep with whoever he wants.
I repeated the thoughts over and over, trying to force them into place while my gaze darted toward the front door where the redhead had just disappeared. Something deep inside me stirred.
A girl. He’d had a girl here. In his room. Alone.
The itch behind my left leg flared again, sharp enough to make me flex my calf, but I ignored it completely. My eyes focused on him completely, like a switch had flipped, and our surroundings faded away.
“Olivia?” Calix took another step toward me. “What are you doing up?”
Olivia. The name hit harder than it should have.
Not Via. Not some teasing nickname he’d wrapped around me when we first met. Just Olivia, like a line had been drawn between us, and for some reason, something inside of me roared with indignation.
My fingers curled tighter around the blood bag in my hand until something warm and sticky leaked between them.
Was that for her sake? Does he not want us to sound familiar anymore? Does he regret touching me now that I’m not human anymore?
My breathing turned rough without warning. Each inhale felt too shallow. Too fast. I stared at the floor near his bare feet while my chest heaved harder and harder.
Is he done with me already? Was I only exciting when I was the fragile human girl he could ruin?
“Hey.” His voice dropped lower as he carefully approached, his hands up. “What’s wrong?”
Every step closer, something dark and vengeful tightened. Hot. Possessive. Violent. Who the fuck did he think he was, bringing another women into our home? Touching what was mine.
The thought slammed through me so hard I moved before thinking, launching myself at him with a snarl ripping out of my throat.
Calix caught me automatically, but I still managed to drive him backward into the floor. The impact cracked through the kitchen, his back taking the worst of it. Undeterred, I climbed over him like some feral possessed animal.
“Olivia—”
My palm slammed against his jaw, shoving his head sideways.
“Olivia!”
The vein in his throat pulsed beneath my gaze as my strength pushed harder.
Mine. The word echoed louder this time. All mine. With that thought on loop, I dove for his neck.
My fangs tore into him hard enough to make him hiss while blood flooded into my mouth, hot and rich, intoxicating on another level. I drank greedily, desperately, like I could empty him completely yet still crave more.
Calix groaned beneath me. The sound only fed the frenzy clawing through my body.
A low growl vibrated against his throat while I pinned him harder to the floor, nails digging into his chest.
Suddenly, the air whirled around us, and for a split-second I thought it was Rack, but as soon as my back hit the refrigerator, my head resting on that cool metal, I knew who it was. A neon pink set of orbs stared down at me, drilling into my soul.
Pain flashed through my back, but the monster inside me only tightened harder around Calix. My legs wrapped instinctively around his waist, and I lunged for his neck again. This time, my teeth ripped deeper, harder, refusing to give in. Or give up.
“Holy fuck.”
The words punched out of him raggedly.