Chapter 11
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
Dawson
Jordie Thomas: All I wanted my whole life was to play hockey. I worked my ass off, got where I needed to be, and thrived. But like all professional sports, it’s hard as hell on your body.
Ambrosia Mercer: Oh, absolutely. My dad was always injured. I remember one gruesome one where his elbow came out the other side after a hell of a hit into the boards.
Kacey Thomas: Oh my God! I remember that. He was trying to take someone else out and hit the bench at just the right spot to cause a clean break.
Jordie Thomas: You’re right. They said his elbow pad may have slipped too.
Ambrosia Mercer: It did, and from what he told me, he made sure to upgrade to the ones that attached to the chest guards.
Kacey Thomas: He should have done that from the jump.
Ambrosia Mercer: Say it louder. Maybe he’ll hear it in heaven.
Laughter.
Ambrosia Mercer: So you got injured?
Jordie Thomas: I did, and when I couldn’t play, I fell into a really wicked depression. I was sleeping around, drinking my body weight in alcohol, and just drowning.
Kacey Thomas: I had no clue what was going on because I was blind to the bad stuff.
See, what he didn’t know was I had been in love with him for so long.
He has been my brother’s best friend for as long as I can remember, so I was enamored with him the moment I saw him and his bushy beard.
I didn’t see the bad. I only saw him through rose-colored glasses.
Jordie Thomas: I knew I shouldn’t have started anything with her when I was so messed up, but I did, and then I had to let her go. I was going to ruin her life.
Kacey Thomas: It took me a while to realize you can’t help a person who doesn’t want to be helped.
Jordie Thomas: I didn’t. I was too far gone—in my own head, and I did everything I could to forget her. I pushed away the only person who ever mattered to me.
Kacey Thomas: That’s when I learned how bad off he was. I tried to help, but he wouldn’t let me.
Jordie Thomas: I couldn’t take her down with me, but then I got clean.
And with my head clear, she was first and foremost in my thoughts.
All the time. I was in rehab when my niece was born, and it wasn’t the photo of her that made me want to be sober.
It was a photo of Kacey holding Mena. All the feelings I had for her came rushing back in full force, and I knew there was no choice but to get her back.
Kacey Thomas: I didn’t make it easy. I was dating someone else.
Jordie Thomas: Who drove a fucking Prius and said sorry when he knocked someone into the boards.
Laughter.
Kacey Thomas: He wasn’t Jordie, and I knew I couldn’t live a lie. We found our way back to each other.
Jordie Thomas: And that’s how I know that the love of your life can change everything. I got sober, I played harder, I became the man I knew she deserved. All for her.
When I pull open the door to Student Services, Charlotte Paxton looks up from her computer, and her smile dissolves.
While she may have the Sinclair green eyes, she is a Paxton through and through.
Wavy blond hair, big doe eyes, and a rather large nose that somehow fits on her face.
Her top lip is bigger than her bottom, and she has the cutest little gap between her teeth.
She’s wearing a Bullies tee that sets off the color of her eyes in the best way.
I’d know because all my teal Bullies shirts do the same. It’s how I draw in the girls who like sucking my cock—as Ambrosia so beautifully said. Charlotte crosses her arms over her chest and leans back, her eyes on me.
Out of all my cousins, she is my favorite female one.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my cousin Angie, but she is so much older than me, we never really clicked.
Then she moved, ghosting all of us, met the love of her life, and is now living her dreams. She mainly just talks to her parents and only says something in our cousins’ group chat when we post anything about plants.
I got her a gift card to a nursery over in South Carolina, and she cried when she opened it.
She’s a weirdo, that one.
Max and Ryder, Angie and Charlotte’s brothers, who are twins, are my boys.
Max plays on the team with Louis and me, while Ryder is a badass swimmer for Bellevue.
He won a bronze medal a couple years ago and has his eyes set on a gold.
I’m close with all my cousins, even the younger ones, but Charlotte, she’s my favorite.
Not only is she a damn good time, but she is just steady.
She is always there for me and always has a snack.
I’m a hungry fucker.
I thought I was her favorite cousin, but the way she’s looking at me like I stole her last piece of cake has my brows furrowing.
Weird.
I pull out my AirPod, thankful it pauses Ambrosia’s podcast without my having to.
Yes, I know I had a lot of shit to talk about her podcast, but I’ve been listening for the last couple weeks and I’m hooked.
She’s hilarious and witty. Her voice is so soothing, and fuck, is she hockey smart.
She’s quick on her feet, and I find myself grinning as I listen to her raspy voice that has a bit of a Latin flair to it.
It’s refreshing, and it only makes me want her more.
But Ambrosia Mercer doesn’t play.
It’s insane to me, because all girls want me.
I haven’t met one who isn’t related to me who doesn’t want me.
That is, until Ambrosia stood before me, her shoulders back, looking like a fire-breathing dragon rather than a cute little fiesta.
I honestly can’t explain what is going through my head.
One minute, I don’t care. I don’t want to cater to anyone, make sure they are happy or feel wanted.
But now, yeah, now I want to make sure Ambrosia feels all that.
And more.
I won’t admit this to anyone, not even Louis, but Jordie Thomas’s story got to me.
I don’t know Jordie personally, but hearing his struggle, listening to him fight for himself to be the man he thought his wife wanted…
I mean, you have to be dead inside not to feel something.
It was so easy to ignore all the other guys who came on the show, believing their game had been elevated the moment they met their person, but Jordie…
I couldn’t ignore that. I don’t know if it was his story or how you could hear the emotion in Ambrosia’s voice, but it made me feel.
It made me curious.
It made me obsess over Ambrosia more than I care to.
I don’t think of girls. I don’t have the time or the mental space to fill.
Though, instead of plays, I was thinking of how sassy and sure of herself she is.
How she doesn’t back down from anyone. How she didn’t seem the least bit affected by my presence.
How she told me off right in front of my parents without a second thought.
She flicked my fucking nose. Like I was a misbehaving dog.
No one has ever done that.
Nor has anyone ghosted me so thoroughly that even I’m impressed. I haven’t seen her—not at The Penalty Perk, the rink, or even on campus. When I asked Ella about her, she gave me a look and said that she didn’t come in anymore, that Ambrosia had her drink delivered instead.
Stay away from me.
I mean, damn. I know she wants me. I could feel it from just a look in her eyes, and I realize she’s been hurt, but she’s gone so far as not to go in to get her coffee on the off chance I’ll be around. I would be because I’m not backing off.
Not when I have never felt this feeling before.
Not when I crave her grin.
Or the way she glares at me.
No, I’m going to get a chance with Ambrosia Mercer, and I won’t fumble it.
I tried to get into the employee directory, but unfortunately, that’s in my dad’s office, and he kicked me right out with a stern, “Leave her alone.”
Rude, really.
I have stalked this damn campus, asked around, and no one seems to know her.
It’s maddening. When I tried to slide into her DMs on Instagram, I became pretty sure she has me blocked!
I can see her content, but I can’t contact her or tag her in anything.
It’s the craziest thing, and it’s driving me absolutely crazy.
I even tried logging into Louis’s account, but that bastard told me no.
What a brother he is.
When I’m not on the field, I’m on the ice.
And when I’m not on the ice, I’m doing everything I can to get information about Ambrosia Mercer.
I started commenting on all her episodes, and when her name popped up as ON, I messaged her right away.
Then I chatted with her for two hours, forgetting I had a paper due, and when I realized it, I still didn’t get off the chat.
Just like her episodes, her messages are quick-witted and funny. I am sucked in, and it is nice being DoesMyBreathStink60 and AmbrosiaMercer. I almost told her it was me, but I didn’t want to break the truce we had.
The bubble we’re in.
I need that connection to her.
And this right here is why I don’t have time for girls.
Except…I’m making time for her.
I have to.
But I need more.
Listen, I’m just as confused as you are by this turn of events.
“Ugh, what do you need?” Surprised by Charlotte’s tone, I lean in across the desk. My cousin’s eyes meet mine in a way that doesn’t seem the least bit welcoming. Which is her job description, mind you. “You only come in when you need something that may get me in trouble.”
That has me smirking. She moved my classes when I forgot to confirm them and replaced my ID for free when I lost it.
She may be onto something, and who am I to break that streak?
I hold her gaze as I pull my bag in front of me and open it.
Cookies from Audrey’s Cupcakes. It’s something new she’s trying, and I had to have them after listening to her episode of Ambrosia’s podcast. I set the box on the desk and waggle my brows at her.
“But I always bring your favorite snack.”
She eyes the box, licking her lips.