16. Margot
CHAPTER 16
Margot
J axson has been gone most of the day, but hearing Lanetti is alive and going to make a full recovery is enough to plaster a smile on my face even though we’re still no closer to figuring out who tried to grab me from the accident and why.
But with Silas sitting in my foyer, acting as my own personal guard, I don’t feel at risk. He’s hardly spoken at all, though his adorable four-year-old niece, Eloise, is currently playing chess with Matty. Well, he’s trying to teach her and letting her win.
Seeing them sitting there together and witnessing how kind my son is makes me long for another child.
“Yay! I won! I won, Uncle Si!” She rushes over to Silas, who lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees her excitement.
“That’s great, Nugget. I knew you could do it.” He high-fives her, and she does a little dance .
"Matty said that I'm a natural.” She looks back at Matty with a wide smile, and he nods.
“It’s true. A prodigy.”
Eloise beams at Matty, then rushes over to him. “Can we play again?”
“Only if you take it easy on me,” he replies.
“No promises,” she says. “Because if I take it easy, how will you learn?”
Silas smiles, then shifts his attention back to the computer in front of him.
“Want some coffee?” I ask him.
“That would be great. Thank you.”
“Creamer?”
“No, thanks. Just black.”
“You got it. I’ll be right out.” With a smile, I head into the kitchen and start prepping the coffee. I don’t know much about the former Navy SEAL, other than the fact that out of all the Knight Security guys, he had the roughest time overseas.
Michael won’t ever go into details, and I don’t press.
But Silas is quiet, reserved, and keeps to himself. Except when Eloise is in the room. It’s clear how much he loves the little girl he’s been raising since her parents died.
As soon as I’m done with the coffee, I head into the foyer again and offer him a mug, then sit on one of the high-back chairs across from him. “Eloise is adorable.”
“She’s perfect,” he replies.
“It must be hard, raising her all alone. ”
“You would know a thing or two about being a single parent,” he replies.
“Sure, but it’s different. Matty was older when Chad left. You’ve been raising her since she was an infant, right?”
He nods.
“That takes a strong person, and you’re doing a fantastic job. Not that you need me to tell you that.”
The closest thing I’ve seen to a smile when Eloise isn’t around graces his face. “Still nice to hear it sometimes.”
“That’s true.”
He takes a drink of his coffee, clearly uncomfortable with the personal conversation. That is, if his fidgeting is any indication. “You’ve done a great job with your son. He’s a good kid.”
“He is. I give God all the credit for that one, though. He guided us both through Chad leaving and helped keep me sane when I wanted to lie down and cry.”
Silas doesn’t respond, and I get the feeling he’s not entirely sure about his own faith. “I haven’t seen you at church.”
“I don’t go,” he replies, then turns back to his computer.
“Thanks for bringing her here, and for staying.”
“Thank you for the coffee.” He offers me a half smile, so I get up and head into the kitchen to start prepping for dinner. Should I be cooking? Probably not.
But I’m desperate for lasagna and something that will keep me busy. Aside from fresh towels, which Matty ran up to room three, and a lightbulb replacement in room four, which Matty also handled, no one has really needed anything.
It’s been quiet. And quiet allows my mind to wander.
The bell over the front door rings, and I glance over as Jaxson comes inside.
Just seeing him makes my heart flutter and my stomach twist into nervous knots. I can still feel his arms around me from last night, still feel the gentle caress of his fingers against my cheek when he’d come in to check on me because he thought I was asleep.
Oh, to have the love of a man like that.
What would that be like?
He and Silas fall into a deep conversation, and Silas nods, then says something quietly in response. What are they talking about? Me? Lanetti? An update in the case?
The two men shake hands.
“Eloise, we have to go, Nugget.”
“Ahh, Uncle Si! I haven’t won, though!”
“We’ll play again,” Matty promises.
“Okay.” She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout, but hugs Matty, then bounces over to her uncle. “Bye, Mrs. Anderson.”
“Bye, sweetie. We’ll see you soon, okay? Thanks again, Silas.”
He nods, then takes the little girl’s hand and heads out the front door.
Jaxson watches them leave, then turns to me. He looks exhausted. Dead on his feet .
“Oh, Mom?” Matty says.
“Yeah?”
“Uncle Michael said he’s gonna come pick me up tonight if that’s okay? He got a new update to Halo and I really wanna try it out. Please, please, please?”
I smile. He’s been hovering over me all day, so to see him acting like a teen again makes my heart happy. “That’s fine. What time?”
“Like seven?”
“Okay. You better have something green with dinner.”
“Jello can be green.”
I arch a brow.
“Fine. I’ll have broccoli. Aunt Reyna’s been making him eat better, anyway. I’m going to go text him. Hey, Jax!”
“Hey, kid.”
Matty leaves the room, bounding into the apartment and closing the door.
The air between Jaxson and me feels heavier somehow, though I’m not sure what’s changed. Was it last night? What almost happened? Or something more? “So since Michael and Reyna are taking Matty for the night, I don’t suppose you’d be up for some lasagna, huh? I have a craving that will not be sated.”
Jaxson smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “That would be great.”
“How’s Lanetti?”
“She’s doing okay, surprisingly. Girl is resilient.”
“It’s amazing she’s alive. ”
“It is,” he agrees. “Anyway, I’m going to go grab a shower and maybe nap for a bit. You okay?”
“Yeah. I can call if there’s an issue, but it’s been quiet around here. It would be foolish of someone to walk into a fully booked B&B and try to take me.” It’s meant to ease his obvious nerves, but all it does is cause his brow to crease. “Seriously, Jaxson. It’s okay. I promise to yell if I need anything.”
After a moment of hesitation, he nods and heads back up the stairs.
“Hey, Jaxson?”
“Yeah?” He turns back toward me.
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
“I am too.”
After pulling the garlic bread out of the oven, I set it on the counter, then look over the spread before me. It’s six forty-two, and everything is ready except me.
Lasagna, garlic bread, a Caesar salad with homemade dressing, and a freshly baked tiramisu, courtesy of Kyra Redding, cover one side of the kitchen counter, making my entire apartment smell like a classy Italian restaurant.
I press a hand to my stomach. Why am I nervous? I’ve eaten with Jaxson more times than I can count. Matty wasn’t there for a few of those either, so why does this feel so different?
Because I feel different .
Moving as fast as I can without running, I slip into my bedroom, then pull my hair down from its bun and run a brush through the dark strands, stopping only long enough to study the bruises covering half of my face.
Ugh. I look like a hot mess.
But this is as good as it’s going to get tonight. So, with that in mind, I slip out of my cooking shoes and into a pair of brown flats that match the centers of the sunflowers on my dress.
I shut the door to my bedroom. “Matty, your uncle will be here any minu?—”
“Already here,” Michael announces as he and Reyna breeze into my apartment. She has a bruise on the side of her head, but otherwise looks in good spirits. It puts my mind at ease, because every time I close my eyes, I see her upside down in that car.
My brother takes one look at me, then at the food on the counter and the pristinely set table, and narrows his gaze. “What is happening here?”
“I—nothing. I’m eating.”
“With who?” He arches a brow.
“It’s none of your business,” Reyna insists.
Matty comes down the hall with his backpack. “Man, this smells delicious. Jaxson is one lucky dude, Mom. You outdid yourself.”
My cheeks heat, making my face feel like it’s fifty degrees hotter than the rest of my face.
“ Jaxson? You did all of this for Jaxson?” Michael gapes at me, feigned betrayal in his dark gaze. “How long has this been going on?”
“It’s not going on,” I insist. “This is the first time—well, not the first time I’ve cooked for him—but the first time like this.” I’m rambling. Mortified. Unsure. My stomach churns, so I press a hand to it.
“Michael, stop acting like this,” Reyna says, lightly smacking him on the arm.
“Like what?”
“You’re teasing her and it’s not fair,” she replies.
“But—”
“He stood up for me, so as far as I’m concerned, he’s good enough to date Mom.”
“That’s all it takes, huh?” Michael musses his hair, and Matty leans into him. The camaraderie between them warms my heart. “Look, I want you happy, Margot. I’m just messing with you. I just wish you would have told me you were interested in him like this.”
“I don’t know that I am—or I didn’t know that I was—” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Listen, I invited him over for dinner since Matty was going to be with you, so I could thank him for everything he’s done for us. That’s all.”
“Uh-huh.” Michael grins, and the amusement on his face tells me we’re far from finished discussing this.
“Look, can you go, please? He’ll be here soon, and I need to finish a few things.” I start ushering them toward the door .
“You look beautiful,” Reyna tells me. “Call if you need anything?”
“I will. Thanks.” I smile at my brother’s wife, then guide them out of the B&B and shut the door quickly. I have no idea if Jaxson is still upstairs or not, and the last thing I want to do is bring him down sooner than I need to.
I want everything to be perfect.
I need everything to be perfect.
I’ve just shut the door to my private apartment when I hear a slight whistling sound. Strange. Thinking Matty might have left something playing on his computer, I head down the hall toward his room. But as I get closer to the bathroom at the end of the hall, the noise gets louder and stops sounding like whistling and more like— “Oh no!” Water spews out from beneath the sink, pouring onto the ground.
I drop to my knees and rip open the cabinet, only to get sprayed with a face full of water. “No, not today! Ugh! Why?” I cover the pipe with my hand, and water spews through my fingertips. Frantically, I scan the immediate area for anything that I can use to temporarily hold off the water until I can get a wrench from the garage.
My gaze lands on an olive-green towel on the ground. Yes! Thank you, Matty, and your terrible cleaning skills. With one hand on the pipe, I kick out of my shoes and stretch out my leg, gripping the towel with my toes.
As soon as I have it in reach, I release the pipe just long enough to wrap it with the towel. Breathing heavily, I sit for just a moment, but right as I’m starting to get up, water begins pouring through the towel.
“No, no, no!”
“What’s happening here?”
I glance back at Jaxson, who stands in the doorway looking like he just stepped off the cover of a magazine—all while I look like a wet rat.
Why?
“I don’t know. The pipe just started spraying water. I was going to go turn the main off temporarily, then grab a wrench and try to fix it.” Since Chad took off, I haven’t had a lot of overhead, so I save money by trying to fix things myself.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a how-to video and a frugal attitude.
“I’ll go turn off the water and grab the tools.” He starts to roll up the sleeves of his button-down.
“No, I can do it. Please, you’re wearing such nice clothes.” I tighten the towel and get to my feet. Then slip on the water. I go down—hard—until Jaxson catches me against his chest. Desire burns in my belly, and I turn my face up to him, feeling my cheeks heat. “And now you’re soaking wet.”
“Worth it,” he replies without hesitation, then clears his throat and heads for the door. “I’ll grab the tools. Dinner smells delicious, by the way.” After flashing me a grin, he turns and leaves.
As soon as I know he’s gone, I risk a look at myself in the mirror .
My hair is drenched, all remnants of loose curls gone, and the dress I was wearing is plastered against me like a second skin. Fantastic. So now I’m bruised and soaking wet.
The water stops spewing, letting me know that Jaxson has turned off the main for my apartment—which is thankfully separate from the rest of the B&B. Shoving my disappointment for the way this evening is turning out down, I grab some towels from the linen closet and start mopping up water from the floor.
A few minutes later, he returns with his sleeves rolled up and a toolbox in hand. “I can handle this if you want to get changed. I imagine that’s not all that comfortable.”
“Understatement,” I say with a half smile. “Thanks. I’m sorry about this. I really didn’t want to work tonight.”
“No worries at all.” He flashes me a grin. “I’m actually decent with plumbing. And worst case, we can call Lance.”
“You are a lifesaver, thanks.” I quickly make my way out of Matty’s bathroom, and into my bathroom, then strip out of my clothes and hang them over my shower curtain rod to dry.
Knowing the evening is what it is now, I choose to wear a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a T-shirt with the words Hope Springs Music Fest. I may not look like a million bucks, but I’m comfortable, and that counts for something.
I’m just heading back down the hall as Jaxson is stepping out of the bathroom with his toolbox. “All good. One of the pipes was loose, so I tightened it. You shouldn’t have any more issues.”
“Came loose? Does that just happen?”
“It can,” he says. “They’re older pipes. But everything tightened just fine, so I don’t think anything is broken.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Well, I really appreciate it.”
He sets his toolbox down, then steps up to the sink to wash his hands. “This all smells amazing.”
“We should have already been eating. I think some of it might be getting cold.” I stare at it in frustration. I worked hours on dinner. Is it really going to be spoiled because of some loose pipes?
“I think it smells amazing, and I know it’s going to be delicious.” He dries his hands, then turns to face me. “What can I do to help?”
“Nothing. Please sit.” I gesture to the small round table in the center of the kitchen, then start plating dinner as he takes a seat.
Easy, Margot. It’s just dinner with a friend. You can do this. You’ve done it before.
“So, other than the indoor waterpark, how was the rest of your day?” Jaxson questions.
I laugh. “It was good.” Turning with plates in hand, I set them down, then grab each of us glasses of water before taking my seat. “Are you up for leading the prayer?”
“Sure.” He reaches out with one of his hands, and I slip mine in without hesitation. The feel of his palm against mine warms my blood, calming the storm in me without him even trying. I close my eyes, hoping to keep my feelings from displaying all over my face.
“Heavenly Father, we are forever grateful for Your mercy and grace. We thank You for this food before us and the company we share together. We would have nothing in this life without You, and even if we don’t always understand why things happen the way they do, we thank You for always being there and we trust in Your plan because it is far greater than our own. Thank You for keeping Margot and Reyna safe the other night, and for bringing Lanetti home. Amen.”
“Amen.” I withdraw my hand and put a napkin in my lap. “You should know, you’re Matty’s hero.”
“Oh?” he asks, then takes a drink of water before loading up his fork with some lasagna.
“After what you did the other day at church when Chad came after him, and the fact that you used to catch bad guys for a living? Absolutely.”
“I’m no hero.”
“To him you are. Ever since that day at the church when you stepped in. He’s been so angry with Chad, and after that blowup, I’m not sure what Chad would have done if you weren’t there to stop it.” I swallow hard, trying to smother the anger that’s resurfacing. Chad would have physically hurt Matty. Of that, I’m sure. And then my son would wear those emotional scars for the rest of his life.
“Do you think he would have hurt him?” Jaxson asks after swallowing his bite. “Was he ever violent before?”
I hesitate. I’ve never told anyone about Chad hitting me. I thought it was because I was embarrassed, because I didn’t want to be looked at like a victim. But truthfully? I was protecting him. Because I know my brother, and I know what he would do if he found out that Chad ever put hands on me.
I’m so tired of protecting him. “He hit me once.”
Jaxson’s gaze turns murderous, and he slowly lowers his fork. “When?”
“The day I kicked him out. I’d ignored the cheating. The violent outbursts where he’d scream at me or throw things. But when he put his hands on me, all I saw was Matty getting hit. Matty witnessing it. I knew I couldn’t let him experience that, so I told Chad if he didn’t leave, I was calling Michael.” I laugh nervously, then put some food on my fork even though the vulnerability I feel right now as I pour my words out to Jaxson has made me anything but hungry. “Chad might not be afraid of much, but he’s terrified of my big brother.”
Jaxson reaches across the table and covers my hand with his. “I am so sorry, Margot.”
“I didn’t want to say anything before because?—”
“Michael,” Jaxson finishes.
“Yeah.” I smile at him, surprised at how much relief I feel just sharing this with someone. “I never want my brother to suffer because of something that I caused.”
He withdraws his hand and takes a bite of food as the words hang between us. Then he takes a drink of water and says, “You think it’s your fault he hit you?”
“No. Not that. But I married Chad. Even though my parents asked me not to. Michael was already gone by then, and they told me that I could stay with them. That I didn’t have to get married just because I’d gotten pregnant.” I swallow hard, feeling the shame resurfacing. I hadn’t wanted to sleep with Chad that night, but I’d been so afraid he’d walk away from me if I didn’t that I gave in.
I listened when he promised me forever.
Cried silently as he used my body.
Then felt even more shame when the pregnancy test came back positive.
“We’ve all done things we regret, but you got a great deal on that one because you got Matty.”
I smile at him now, then quickly wipe my eyes as tears threaten to fall. “You are absolutely correct. I can’t even say I regret it because I love my son with everything that I am. He’s my whole world. And even though things with Chad turned out the way they did, I am grateful that God blessed me with my son.”
Jaxson takes a bite of his salad. “I am too. Kid is great company.”
I doubt he realizes just how much his words mean to me, and I can’t bring myself to speak it out loud without tearing up again. God has always been there for me. Even during the darkest moments of my life, when I felt like I was walking the road alone, I knew He was there. And that’s what’s helped me get through.
The knowledge that my sins have been washed clean by the love and sacrifice of Jesus. That God has a plan and has been with me every single step of the way .
“I told you all about my marriage going up in flames. About Rosalie’s cheating.”
“And her abandoning you,” I add, still furious at the woman for what she’d done. Letting her walk out the door without giving her a piece of my mind was harder than I thought it would be.
But saying anything to her now wouldn’t fix the past. And there’s a part of me that’s glad she turned her back on him.
Because now he’s here…with me. Even if we are just friends.
Still, my heart aches for him. For the man who nearly died serving his country, then came home only to be shoved aside by the woman who vowed to love him forever. Who does that? What type of person would treat the man they love that way?
“It is all part of God’s plan—Lance helped me see that. He came out after she left and stayed with me as I recovered, even though he was barely out of the hospital himself. It’s his faith, and his guiding me to my own, that kept me alive. And thanks to God, I not only walked again, but I’m doing things every day the doctors claimed would be impossible.”
“You said your brother was there, too?”
He nods. “But he was in college at the time, so he couldn’t be there all the time. Lance was. His parents even flew out to help, and I’d never met them before.”
“That’s so kind.”
“It was. And for someone like me who’d never had a functional family, it felt—warm. Like home. This is delicious, by the way.”
I return his smile and take a bit of my own food. “It really is. Plumbing emergency and all.”
Jaxson’s grin spreads, and my stomach fills with butterflies. He’s so handsome. So kind. Why couldn’t I have met him before Chad?
But then I wouldn’t have Matty. And I wouldn’t trade my son for anything.
I can, however, be grateful that God brought Jaxson to me now.
Even if it’s for no reason other than friendship.