17. Slider
17
SLIDER
IRIS’s explosion was about five times the size it needed to be, which wasn’t at all a surprise. He always went above and beyond the parameters of the job just to have a little fun, but based on where I saw Audrey lying on the floor, he just barely missed making her confetti in the explosion.
I rushed in through the flames rushing up from the floor, dodging a falling beam just in time to avoid being crushed. We had minutes to get out of here before the whole fucking building collapsed.
“That was fucking awesome!” IRIS shouted, storming inside with me.
“Too much. Way too fucking much!” I shouted over the roar of the fire.
“Says you.” He stared in wonder at his handiwork, momentarily forgetting that we had a job to do.
I stepped over the wreckage, working my way toward Audrey, when she got to her feet and swayed slightly. We weren’t far from her, but the moment that asshole stood and took her from behind, I knew this wouldn’t be as easy as we thought, and that was all because IRIS fucked things up by once again putting just a little too much into the explosives.
But instead of Audrey doing what any sane person would do, she instantly fought back. At first, I was fucking proud, but as she spun around and started kicking and punching at pure air, I stopped and stared in awe.
No, awe wasn’t the right word.
Curiosity. Intrigue? Wonder. No, none of those were right. Disbelief. That was the word I was looking for.
“What the fuck is she doing?” IRIS asked.
I shook my head slowly, cocking my head to the side as I followed her movements. It looked like she was doing some kind of choreographed movement, but the man she was fighting wasn’t doing anything to fight back. In fact, he was watching her like we were.
“Is she fighting a ghost?” IRIS asked.
“Maybe she hit her head harder than we thought,” I suggested.
“Right. That has to be it,” he said with a frown.
“Because otherwise…”
“Otherwise, she’s doing…”
“Something,” I finished, unsure of what you would call that.
“Should we…”
“Intervene? Stop her?”
He shrugged slightly. “I mean…she’s got this.”
She kicked wildly at the air, hitting nothing at all. It was a good kick with great form, nice and high. The only problem was, there was no target anywhere near her.
“Sort of,” I agreed. “Maybe we should…”
“Yeah,” he nodded.
Thumper shouted to us from the back of the house, waving at us. “What the fuck are you doing? Grab her!”
“Right,” I nodded. “That’s us.” I ran forward, snatching Audrey around the waist right as she was in the middle of another one of her kicks. She spun and belted me right in the face. It was probably the only hit she landed during this whole fiasco.
“Oh, oops!” she shouted. “Did you see me?” she grinned. “Wasn’t I awesome?”
My mouth dropped open as I tried to figure out what to say. “Amazing,” I went with, not sure what else to say. “Time to beat feet.”
“Oh, is that like when we run?”
A loud crack resounded through the house as another beam fell. I grabbed her arm and yanked her to the side, just barely missing being crushed for the second time in minutes. As soon as we stood, I spun to grab her, but she was already on her feet, holding a gun.
I glanced at my holster and gasped.
My gun. She had my fucking gun.
She fired round after round toward IRIS, screaming like a madwoman. IRIS was dancing on his toes, doing everything possible to avoid being shot by her, but her aim was terrible and there was no way to know what she was actually going to hit.
“What the fuck is she doing?” IRIS shouted.
I tackled her from behind, grabbing the gun from her hands. “He’s on our side!”
“Oh, oops! It’s hard to tell in the heat of battle!”
Fucking hell. I holstered my weapon and yanked her to her feet, swinging her up into my arms to avoid any more mishaps. I bolted from the house with IRIS hot on my heels just as the house started to collapse around us. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see IRIS grinning as he tossed something else at the house.
With wide eyes, I took off running, knowing this was gonna be bad. “Oh shit!” I shouted as a second explosion, even more powerful than the first, ripped through the night. The force sent both of us flying through the air, and it was only by sheer luck that I was able to hold onto Audrey. We hit the ground hard, rolling across the dirt as I held her to me, hoping to God I didn’t crush her with my weight.
I shoved my foot out and stopped us from rolling, keeping her tucked underneath me to prevent her from taking any heat from the flames or damage from flying debris. Breathing heavily, I ran my eyes over her, quickly assessing for any injuries.
“Are you okay? How’s your head?”
Her eyes fluttered as she looked up at me. It was clear she’d taken just a few too many hits to the head in the last day. “Baldy?” she whispered.
“Yeah, Audrey. It’s me,” I chuckled, brushing her hair back from her head. Despite being a huge pain in the ass, at least she was funny. I held up my hand in front of her face. “How many fingers am I holding up?”
“You have fingers?” She grimaced, shaking her head slightly. “I think I might pass out.”
“I think you might, too.”
“Mm ‘kay.”
Her eyes rolled back in her head and her body sagged in my arms. I was up in seconds, hauling her up against my body. We had to get out of here fast before anyone else came to kidnap her. Lord knows what trouble she would get up to if anyone tried to take her in this condition.
IRIS chuckled as he walked over to me. “Women just fall at your feet, don’t they?”
“Passing out isn’t the same as falling at my feet. And she would still be standing if you hadn’t tossed in that last bomb.”
“What? That tiny, little guy?” He waved me off. “That was nothing.”
“That sent us flying through the air,” I griped.
“Sounds like a you problem. I was just fine.”
I rolled my eyes as we made it to the SUV. I spun around, looking for Thumper. “Have you seen?—”
He walked out of the smoke like a mirage, but I knew the moment I saw him, this was not going to be a friendly encounter. I glanced at Audrey and then at IRIS.
“Well, I’m gonna take care of this. You can deal with…that,” I said, nodding at our team leader, who was hobbling on one leg.
“Do you think he’s mad?” IRIS asked.
“He’s holding his leg. What do you think?” I asked just before I gently laid Audrey in the back seat and climbed inside. I didn’t want to stick around for the ass-kicking IRIS was about to get.
“Why don’t we just head back to OPS?” IRIS grumbled. “I want to see Jane.”
“Because Lock made it fucking clear we’re not to go there. Or did you want to break those rules, too?” Thumper snapped.
“Hey, I wasn’t breaking any rules. You gave me permission to use explosives.”
“Use an explosive.”
“You didn’t specify. I said, Thumper, can I use explosives? You said, go for it.”
“I said?—”
“At no time did you say only one.”
“It was implied!”
“It was never implied! You don’t tell a guy like me that it was fucking implied!”
I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and squeezed hard to fight back the headache forming between my eyebrows. After driving for hours to get back to the safe house, I was fucking exhausted and wanted some sleep, but I couldn’t do that until we got Audrey some help. She still hadn’t woken up, which I wasn’t completely surprised about. Still, it wasn’t like we could gamble with her life.
“I’m just saying there are other places we could be!” IRIS shouted. “That safe house is fucking small!”
“Then we’ll pair up!” Thumper snapped.
“Yeah, like I’m pairing up with you,” IRIS snorted.
“Who said I was staying in the same room with you? You nearly blew up my leg!”
“I didn’t blow up your leg.”
“You didn’t wait for me to get out of the house. You didn’t even fucking check!”
This fighting was never going to stop. Fucking hell, I just wanted to pull out my gun and shoot them both.
Audrey shifted in my lap, finally showing signs of life after hours of being dead to the world. I slid my hand over her pulse, making sure it was still steady, and breathed a sigh of relief that it was still strong. With a moan, she rolled toward me, her head shifting back until she was resting her entire head on my legs instead of just one. Then she rolled toward me and her mouth was just inches from?—
I jerked my gaze up and sucked in a breath. This was bad. Very fucking bad. It wasn’t that I was attracted to her or anything, but…well, she was a woman. And she did look fucking amazing in leather.
And her mouth was right fucking there.
“You okay back there?” Thumper asked.
My gaze shot to his with a glare. He was twisted in the passenger seat, smirking at me as he took in the rather unfortunate position I was in. “Fuck off.”
“Looks like you got yourself a bit of a situation.”
“How much longer until the safe house?”
“Why?” he grinned. “Feeling…uncomfortable?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “No. She needs to see a doctor.”
He nodded, pursing his lips. “Sure. That’s exactly why you want her out of your lap. Not the fact that her mouth is so close to?—”
“Shut it!”
“What am I missing?” IRIS asked, rising up in the driver’s seat, trying to catch a peek at my precarious situation.
“Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing going on.”
“Her mouth is right by his dick,” Thumper smirked.
IRIS burst out laughing. “Holy hell. Why do I have to be driving? Hang on. Let me pull over.”
“Do not pull over,” I snapped.
“It’ll only take a minute,” he laughed.
“IRIS, goddammit, if you?—”
But he was already pulling to the side of the road.
“Put the SUV in drive, motherfucker!”
He got out.
“Get back in the fucking seat!”
He opened my door and laughed.
I pointed to the driver’s seat. “Get your ass up there and drive.”
“Hang on. Just a quick snapshot.” He held up his phone and took a quick pic, then examined the photo. “Damn, I should be a photographer.”
“I swear to God, if you send that?—”
“Oops, already gone,” he grinned. “You know, this is a good look on you. Being domestic and all that.”
“I’m not being domestic!” I shouted as he slammed the door in my face.
“That’s fucking brilliant. I have enough to keep me going for the next fucking year,” he laughed as he got in and shifted into drive.
“In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve got a client back here and that’s highly inappropriate.”
“Imagine what we could get for that picture,” he said to Thumper. “Not that I would sell it. That’s blackmail gold right there. But that beauty will bring us a lot of joy for many years to come.”
“Not to mention the bachelor party when he gets married,” Thumper added.
“I’m not getting married. Why the fuck would I marry her?”
Thumper spun in his seat again. “Her? Oh, I was just talking in general.” He frowned. “I’m sorry, did you like her like that?”
“No, I don’t?—”
“You asshole,” IRIS snapped. “Of course the man likes her. Didn’t you see the way he held onto her as he dove out of the house?”
“No, I was too busy trying to not get blown up.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” IRIS nodded. “You should have seen it from my point of view. He grabbed her and tucked her in tight. Just like a football.”
“Like a football, huh?” Thumper shook his head. “Can’t really argue with that.”
“Would you two just shut the fuck up? There’s nothing going on here! I’ve barely spoken to the woman!”
“And yet, he knows that he wants her,” IRIS sighed. “His body reacts to her.”
“My body reacts to a stripper on the stage. What’s your point?” I argued.
Thumper spun again. “Look, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I mean, aside from the obvious money differences and the beauty factor?—”
“Whoa, just hold up a minute,” I snapped. “Are you saying I couldn’t get a woman like Audrey?”
Thumper opened his mouth, then turned to IRIS. “Is that what I was saying?”
“That’s what it sounded like you were saying.”
“I guess that’s what I was saying.”
“I could get a woman like her,” I snapped. “What? You think the bald head is going to turn her off?”
Thumper winced. “She did call you Baldy.”
“She did,” IRIS agreed.
“That’s not exactly a loving nickname.”
“Neither is Thumper,” I retorted. “Yet, Bree still calls you that.”
“Because I eat rabbits,” he nodded.
This was a bunch of bullshit. Yes, Audrey was fucking beautiful. I was well aware of the fact that she was ten times out of my league, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a good catch.
“I’m charming and muscular and handsome and?—”
“See, that should have been your first quality,” IRIS sighed. “Always say handsome first. When you say charming, that’s like when guys say they’re funny. I’m not good-looking, but I’m funny! What woman says they’re looking for that?”
“Plenty of women like funny men,” I argued.
“Yes, but not many women are strictly looking for men who are ugly and funny.”
He had me there. But that was beside the point. I wasn’t ugly. At least, I didn’t think so. “You know?—
“Hey, we’re here,” Thumper grinned. “Now you can carry your sweetheart inside and get her all tucked in for the night.”
“What? No, Rae?—”
“Oh, she has things to do,” IRIS said as he shut off the vehicle. He spun around in his seat and grinned at me. “Yeah, she’s on close protection for Spencer.”
“And why the fuck would she do that?”
“Well…because she’s qualified,” Thumper retorted. “Are you telling me that you don’t think Rae can handle Spencer?”
She was absolutely qualified, but if I threw a fit over this, they would find a way to make it look like I didn’t think Rae could handle protecting a man, and then I would end up with my balls in a sling.
“Fine. I’ll take care of Audrey.”
“See? It’s better this way,” Thumper grinned. “Oh, and you’ll need to tend her wounds and stay the night with her. Concussions can be a bitch.”
I gnashed my teeth as I watched him leave. The fucker just loved screwing with me. That was fine. He didn’t have to do a damn thing. It was my job to take care of her, and what she needed was a fucking doctor.
I very carefully raised her from my lap and settled her back in the seat, then buckled her in. As I got out, IRIS cocked his head at me. “Whatcha doin’?”
“Taking her to the hospital.”
“Why?”
“Because she has a fucking concussion, asshole.”
He sighed dramatically and walked over to me. “Fine. I’ll drive.”
“Thanks, but I got this.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before. Then I walked in on you and Fox throwing knives at each other.”