11. CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 10
Stealing himself against the devastation in Baz’s eyes, Channing held his daughter even tighter against him as he continued to scan their surroundings. Not that Saleh was making it easy. “Dow,” she shouted as she pointed to the ground where Braydon’s nieces and nephew were staring up at him with terror in their eyes.
It nearly killed Channing to watch the three turn their backs to each other, so they were all able to watch everything around them as if they were prepared to fight to the death. Saleh slapped his chest several times as she fought to get out of his embrace in order to go back and play.
Braydon bit out through clenched teeth, “What do you think you’re doing scaring them like that? Don’t you think they’ve been through enough?”
Startled at the vehemence in his friend’s tone, he’d nearly dropped Saleh when she shoved with both her hands and legs to get away from him. Holding her even tighter, he turned on his friend. “How can you let them play outside? What if the humans come again? It’s bad enough we may not be able to keep them safe indoors but there’s no way we can stop them from being taken when they’re exposed like this.”
Braydon looked incredulous. “And do what exactly? Do you not remember those men breaking down doors? Hell, the ones they couldn’t open they set fire to, burning those inside alive. Are we supposed to hide ourselves away for the rest of our lives, not allow our children to be happy all in the name of being safe?”
“Yes,” Channing yelled, startling Saleh, which led to her wail hysterically.
Cursing himself for getting her upset, he didn’t know how to calm himself when all he could think about were those men coming and taking his daughter away. Someone as young as her would most likely be killed since she couldn’t exactly walk or do manual labor of any sort.
“Okay,” Karim said firmly, although gently. “Let’s take a breath. The kids don’t need to hear this. If you want to discuss it further, I can take them inside and fix them dinner, but otherwise, we need to stop the topic at hand.”
Fuck.
Channing closed his eyes even as he held Saleh so close, she was calling out ‘dada,’ over and over again, while hitting him repeatedly.
“Hey,” Braydon’s soft voice was suddenly right there next to him. “Just breathe.” Then he put his hands on Channing’s forearms. “Let Karim take them inside. It’s about time for dinner anyway. I know you don’t want to scare Saleh more than you already are.”
Tears streamed down his face as he slowly relinquished his hold on the only person that mattered to him. He would die for her and only her.
Liar.
His arms completely loosened at that thought allowing Braydon to take her from him. An image of Baz appeared in his mind as he tried to search why his inner voice would claim that.
Baz.
His first reaction was to scoff at himself for believing, even for a moment, that Baz was more important than Saleh.
Not more or less, just different.
Huh? Was that true? Could it even be possible? After all, Baz was a strong warrior. Someone used to protecting himself and others. Saleh, on the other hand, was innocent and vulnerable.
Damn if that inner voice didn’t give a harrumph with a mental eye roll. What he didn’t understand was why? It wasn’t untrue.
“You okay?” Braydon’s voice was gentle, compassionate. The hand on his shoulder encouraged him to walk over to a group of chairs that surrounded a fire pit and sit.
Sinking down gratefully, Channing tried to figure out what was going on in his head. Yet, no matter how he tried to rationalize things, none of it made any sense. He’d just met Baz. Mate or not, Saleh was his daughter. No one would ever be more important than her.
Damn if his inner voice didn’t cackle like that was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
“Want to talk about it?” Braydon offered as he sat on the chair across the fire pit from him.
Did he? Channing wasn’t so certain. Yet…Closing his eyes the image of Baz’s devastated expression came unbidden. Had he been unfair to his mate?
The moment when those humans came into their little village to the moment Baz was knocking on his door flashed through his mind frame by frame like some sort of horrific slide show. To hear his mate tell him the people behind it were still out there had been like a punch to the gut, leaving him reeling and unable to breathe.
“I can’t lose her,” he whispered fervently.
“I know,” his friend told him. “But you also have to realize you can’t keep her in a bubble. It wouldn’t be fair to her, you, or Baz. Or, for that matter, any children you and Baz might have.”
Channing stilled. His gaze shot to Braydon as if he was out of his damn mind. No way was he bringing another child into a world as chaotic as this.
His head was shaking back and forth as he said, “Not happening. I won’t allow it.”
Braydon threw his head back and laughed loudly. “Really?” he pointed at Channing. “So that mating mark you’re sporting on your neck I’m assuming you either abstained from sex or used condoms.”
Channing’s slapped his hand against his neck, covering it with is palm. The heat that flooded his face let him know he was most likely as red as a lobster. Not having a response, he just sat there glaring at his friend.
Braydon held up a hand. “Stop. You and I both know you could have conceived a child with your mate, so stop glaring daggers at me.”
Technically his friend might be right, although it was doubtful one time would lead to pregnancy, but it reminded him that he needed to stay as far from Baz as possible. Something that already had planned on doing since his mate was the reason why he and Saleh were now vulnerable.
If he hadn’t insisted on finding Channing, he and his daughter would still be safe on that tiny little island. Yeah, it had been a bit lonely as none of the islanders had wanted to get involved with someone who was…different from them. But at least they’d been safe.
“I can already tell you’re thinking one time without protection means you’re safe.” Damn if Braydon didn’t grin so broadly that it was already obvious he knew better. “But Baz is your mate . Trust me, the odds are that you’re pregnant over not.”
That just couldn’t be. Right?
“But Tad and I had been together for a long time,” he said as if that was a valid argument.
As much as he hated to admit it, Braydon had a point. Baz was his mate. Would that make a difference?
Fuck.
He really hoped not.
Liar .
Doing his best to glare at that inner voice even though it was technically impossible, Channing knew it was right. Up until the moment he’d been captured by those humans, he’d come to realize he wanted a mate and family. Maybe three or four kids. Not too big, but big enough.
He hadn’t really considered it until the debacle with Tad. It was then that he realized he was going to have a child with no mate. No partner. No one. That was when the yearning, no matter how many times he’d tried to squash it, when he’d understood that was what he’d wanted all along.
Yet…There he was…With a mate, a child and what had he done?
Tilting his head back against the chair, he let out an exasperated sigh. Had he fucked up by pushing Baz away when he’d learned his mate had been responsible?
No. He refused to believe that. Like ever.
His daughter needed to be protected. Baz had failed to do that.
Had he?
His gaze went to Braydon. “How at risk are we here? Baz claimed this place was safe, but that was before I’d realized the true masterminds were still out there. He should have left us where we were safe.”
Braydon shook his head. “Really? So, what you’re saying is that you would be better off never having met your mate?”
“Yes,” he answered emphatically. So why did that one word cause his stomach to churn?
Damn if Braydon didn’t tilt his head, with eyebrows raised while he looked as if Channing had lost his damn mind. Had he?
Shaking his head, Channing knew he had one goal in his life. “I have to protect my daughter.”
There was so much sadness in his friend’s expression as he stared at Channing. “You do have to protect Saleh, but the moment Baz finally found you after long months of searching for you, he made it clear, despite having just discovered you had a child that he considered her both of yours. Biology be damned. Yet, based on the way you’ve acted since scooping Saleh into your arms, scaring the crap out of all the kids by the way, you made it perfectly clear Baz wasn’t a part of her life.”
“He’s not her father.” Channing refused to acknowledge the ache in his chest after saying that. “You can’t possibly understand what it’s like to create a person and be responsible for her.”
Guilt swamped him at the hurt that flashed across Braydon’s face. His friend appeared resigned as he stood up. “That may be,” Braydon said. “But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over my time here on Salvation, as well as the months my mate and I also searched for you to the point of exhaustion, despite you not being related to me by blood, biology doesn’t have anything to do with family.”
Channing knew he should apologize, but he couldn’t, not when it might mean admitting he’d been wrong to hold Saleh above everyone, including his mate. Then again, it was likely Braydon wouldn’t have accepted an apology anyway as he opened the door to his and Karim’s home, went inside and came out with Saleh in his arms.
Without another word, he handed her over to Channing and went back inside, closing the door. He hadn’t slammed it, yet the sound of it shutting was deafening.
Fuck.