Prologue #2
"Calm yourself, Jo. We can't call the police. Their good-for-nothing chief is dirtier than the Russian bratva. They won't believe a word we say, even with the state of you and your mother."
"What are we going to do, then?"
Nana gives Mama a grim smile before facing me.
"I think it's time we told you what really happened to your step-granddaddy.
I loved your papaw with all my heart and was devastated when he passed.
Your step-granddaddy was your papaw's best friend and someone I thought would be good to me and your ma, but I was wrong.
He was nice enough in the beginning, but when I couldn't give him children, he turned mean and bitter.
He wanted a son in the worst way. He also couldn't stand that I wouldn't change my last name to his even after we married.
I had loved your papaw too much to do that to him.
"Anyway, your step-granddaddy was good and drunk one night, and he took it out on me—like he was prone to do.
I didn't think I had any other choice but to take it.
But that night, he went after your mama, and I saw red.
I took the man's life like I was slaughtering one of the farm animals. I felt no remorse for a man who’d used me as a punching bag for years.
"After the adrenaline wore off and the panic set in, I knew I needed to get rid of him.
It was known around town that things in our marriage were far from happy and that he was abusive.
But in those days, nobody had the gall to speak up and say that what he was doing was wrong.
Unfortunately for me, one of his best friends was a cop, so even if I had tried to do something about it, nothing would've happened other than me earning the beating of a lifetime.
"So, I waited until it was dark and all the farm hands had gone home. I didn't want to have your mama help, but the man was too big for me to carry on my own. We got him down to the barn and into the stall where we slaughter the animals that become our food. From there, I sent your mama home.
“I fed the rat bastard to the pigs since they'll eat just about anything.
When they were done with him, I cleaned their stall real good like.
I was surprised when I found his teeth but knew the apothecary could use them and wouldn't ask any questions.
I made sure there was no trace of him in the barn before heading home and doing the same there.
"Your mama and I showed our bruised and battered faces in town the next day, and we made sure to be overheard about him being done with us and running off to start over somewhere else.
He didn't have any family left in the area, so it wasn't a far stretch that he'd go wife up someone else. Times were different back then."
My nana states it all so matter-of-factly. Then she shrugs—the “it is what it is” gesture—when I stare at her wide-eyed.
Mama has a determined look on her face. "I'm sorry I put you in this situation, baby.
I guess I was just hoping your daddy would come back to us and be the man he used to be.
I never should have let it get this bad.
But don't you worry for a second. We're going to take care of everything, and nobody is going to be the wiser, you understand me? "
"B-but how, Mama?"
"The pigs, of course."
My face pales as my stomach gets queasy. I feel sick and panicky as my hands get clammy, and my heart races.
This is a lot to take in, especially for a thirteen-year-old. Jumping from my chair, I race to the garbage can and upheave my dinner.
"I'm sorry, baby girl." My mama is behind me, holding my hair back as she rubs small circles on my back. "I know we're asking a lot of you, but it's only to keep you safe. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Mama."
I do. I don't know how I feel about taking a life, especially my daddy's, but I know he wasn't a good man.
He hurt my mama bad this time, and he was fixin' to hurt me too. I was just protecting myself, and I refuse to feel bad about that. Besides, he hasn’t been my daddy for a long time now anyways.
Steeling my spine and squaring my shoulders, I turn to Mama. "What do you need me to do?"
"That's my girl!" Nana whoops with pride.
Mama winces. I'm sure she's not thrilled about Nana's enthusiasm, but we both know how long Nana has wanted Daddy gone.
"You know what we need to do, Lottie. I don't think you are fit to help me carry him, so you're gonna have to do it, Jo."
"I can do it, Nana."
The rest of the night goes by in a blur.
I help Nana get Daddy to the slaughter room in the barn, but I’m then shooed away to go help Mama clean up the kitchen.
Nana said it doesn't need to be perfectly clean since Mama and I have obviously been put through the wringer, but we can't have blood all willy-nilly throughout the room either.
When everything is said and done, we collapse together in the living room to rest.
Mama lets me stay home from school, but Nana insists we head into town, where we can be seen. People are startled by our appearance but not surprised to see the damage. Nana is our shield and protector, keeping the vultures at bay, but not before she brags about running my daddy off.
I’m not sure this is going to work, but before I know it, a week has gone by, then a month, and then years.
Nobody ever brings Daddy up much, but if they do, we just shrug and say we haven't heard from him since. He was such a drunk by that point that nobody has second thoughts about him drinking his life away somewhere.
None of us confirm any different either.