Chapter Eleven
Jolene
" H ello, child. What's with the doom and gloom? You’ve been hot and heavy with Beau for weeks now. This look"—Nana waves her hand towards my face—“doesn’t really fit someone who’s getting it on the regular, if you know what I mean.” Nana waggles her brows.
My frown flips into a sputtering laugh. "Nana!” I huff out. “I was just thinking."
"Hmm, must be thinking pretty hard to have you scowling and murdering that hay bale. What the hell did it do to you?"
Glancing down at the mess on the floor, I see that I really have destroyed the bale of hay I was tossing into the pig pen a minute ago.
"Come on, Jolene. What's going on?" Nana's wrinkled hand squeezes my arm.
I suck in a breath and slowly blow it out. "How do I keep doing what I know in my bones is right while having a relationship with Beau?"
"Ah, I figured that's what this was about." Nana's face falls, frowning along with mine.
"Even though the people I kill are the scum of the earth, I'm still ending a life.
Beau is good and just. He's built his career off his good morals.
There's no way he'd understand what I do.
He believes in the law and follows the rules, which is great for him.
But I can't take the chance on the justice system working the way it's supposed to when it's let me, so many others, and hell, even him, down time and time again. "
"It's a very tough position to be in, that's for sure.
I don't know what to tell you, Jolene, other than that what you do might be frowned upon, but you're a damn good person.
You've never used your skills to harm someone unless they are vile or pure evil.
You use your powers for good and to protect, just like Beau.
You just do it outside the confines of the law.
" Nana wraps her spindly frame around me.
I sink into her embrace and breathe in her soft lavender smell. Some of the worry and anxiety leave me, but a good bit still lingers. Until I find a way to tell Beau about this side of me, I don't think it will go away.
But will I ever be able to tell him? Am I willing to put that burden on him? To make him choose between what is morally correct, what he's obligated to do as his job, and holding onto my secrets to protect me? Is it fair to keep seeing him when I'm hiding a huge part of who I am from him?
I don't fucking know what to do.
"I came out here to tell you something, but I don't know if it's the right time now."
I straighten out of Nana's embrace. Narrowing my eyes at her, I cross my arms and wait her out. I may be a mess about what to do where Beau is concerned, but if someone needs my help, I always want to know.
"Tell me. You know waiting could mean life or death for someone."
Exasperated with me, Nana throws her hands in the air. "So demanding. Don't you know you're supposed to respect your elders?"
"Nana…" I'm starting to lose my patience with her, and she knows it.
"Oh, alright. Don't get your knickers in a twist."
I glare at Nana as I wait for her to get to the point.
"Word is that Ricky boy you had words with at the Fourth party is a mean son of a bitch to his woman and little boy."
My molars grind as my hands clench. Ricky was an asshole in high school. Apparently, not much has changed since then.
"How did you find this out, Nana? I didn't even know he had a family."
"I don't think many people know. Do you remember Bethelda, who used to be in my bridge club before she moved to the nursing home?"
"I think so."
"She passed last week." I go to offer my condolences, but Nana just waves me off.
"A niece mentioned in her will is to inherit what little she had left. The girl grew up in Whispering Pines and was always a meek one from what I remember. Anyways, when the lawyer reached out to her about her aunt's will, Ricky was the one who showed up. When he was refused, he threw a tantrum before comin’ back the next day with the girl and her little one in tow.” Nana leans against the stall as she crosses her arms over her chest.
"Now, the receptionist didn't see him hurt her, but she said he was rough and all but dragged her around the office. Her little boy was in her arms, and when she readjusted him, her long- sleeve slid up. Alma said she could see a very defined hand mark on her arm.
"I've been doing a little diggin', and it seems that the girl doesn't have much in the way of family. As far as I can tell, Bethelda was her only livin’ relative left and it's been a while since they've seen each other, accordin’ to the nursin’ home. One of the aids said she used to come all the time, but once she got with Ricky, they started seein’ her less and less. "
"So you're thinking he sunk his claws in her and she was too afraid to go see her aunt? That he’s been slowly isolating her from anyone who might notice his abuse?"
Nana nods. "If I were a bettin’ woman, that's exactly what I'd guess."
"Do you have any other information? If I remember correctly, Ricky lives on one of those outlier properties that are kind of a no-man's land between here and Whispering Pines."
"You're right. He took over his pa's homestead, if you could even call it that. The man was an abusive drunk. It's no surprise the apple didn't fall far from the tree."
"That's bullshit, and you know it." I can't contain my outburst as I toss the rake in my hand on the ground in frustration. "Just look at Beau. His father was meaner than a snake, but instead of turning out just like him, Beau became a good cop and is righting as many wrongs as he can."
Nana is smirking at me after my little tirade.
Fucking hell . I've been trying to keep my feelings for Beau Calhoun close to my chest, but leave it to Nana to push my buttons enough to have me showing my hand twice in one day.
"Not a word, Nana.” I point my finger at her, not ready to hear her shit. “Do you know if Ricky's on the rig this week?"
"He is, but don't think that means you can go waltzin’ up to his place. Willa from bridge tried takin’ out a casserole and about had a heart attack when he started yellin’ at her to get off his property through one of those newfangled doorbells with the cameras on it. I'd reckon he's got more."
"You're probably right. That just means I'll have to go at night or get a little creative." My mind starts racing with how I can check things out undetected and use the cool gadgets Boomer mentioned that I haven't had a chance to use yet.
Nana must see the glint of excitement in my eyes. She shakes her head and chuckles. "Lord, what have I done to have to contend with this wild one?" Her head is tilted towards the sky, her palms raised, making me laugh.
Nana was always one for the theatrics.
I swat her hand down and pull her towards me.
"I don't know why you're questioning the Lord.
You've always been my biggest supporter when it comes to any mischief I get myself into.
" I loop my arm over her shoulder. "Come on.
I'm starving and need some sustenance before I attempt to tackle the mess I made out here.
" I steer us out of the barn towards my house.
Nana whips us up some sandwiches while I grab my laptop to do research.
"I take it you have a plan?" Nana arches her brow at me.
Chewing my bite, I nod. I turn the laptop towards her, showing a map, then trace a path from my place to Ricky's. There are only two main roads to take to get there; the rest are backroads or access roads for different utility companies.
"I'm thinking this is my best bet. I can park here”—I circle a point on the map with my finger—"and then walk through here to get to his place.
This island of trees up on the hill will give me a good view of his house.
I'll be able to use the tree line to check for any cameras.
I have a few fun gadgets from Boomer to use in case there are any. "
"That sounds like a decent start."
I can see the worry in Nana's eyes, and I hate that I'm the one who put it there.
"I'll be fine, Nana. I'm just going to check things out, and Ricky isn't even in town. It's not like I can easily miss his huge truck if he’s home for some reason instead of on the rig. That thing is obnoxious. Talk about overcompensating." I widen my eyes.
Nana laughs.
"Alright, child. But I'd feel more comfortable if you took Thatch with you when you do make your move.
" I go to protest, but she silences me with a single look.
"I know how fierce you are, but Ricky is a giant of a man, and he's gonna be gunnin' for you after you wounded his pride at the Fourth of July party. Nothing motivates a man’s revenge like his wounded ego. "
"I'll think about it." She frowns, but I surge ahead. "I will. I promise. But you know that every time I ask Thatch for help, it leaves a shadow on his soul. It fucking kills me knowing I put it there."
We both go silent as my words sink in. To everyone else, Thatcher is the boy next door who will always lend a helping hand and loves us DuVall girls with his whole heart.
But Nana and I see the side nobody else does, not even Mama.
Her heart is so sweet that Thatcher shields her from it, but Nana and I can see through his walls.
Knowing that I add to his burden kills me a little more every time I have to ask him for help, which is why I avoid it at all costs.
"So, what are you going to tell that hunk of man meat you're doing so he's not warming your bed tonight?"
"Nana!"
"What? It ain't like y'all are being discreet. I see his truck here in the morning or you rolling in before the sun. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Just curious what you're going to tell him so you can go bump in the night."
I roll my eyes at the old bag who thinks she knows all and refuse to admit that she probably does. "I'll just tell him I need my own bed and more than five hours of sleep. He can handle being on his own for a night."
"Can he?"
We stare at each other then burst into laughter.