2
Ashlynn
Harsh Realm - Widowspeak
I t has been a week since Neha dropped in on me, telling me she got an assignment to interview the top riders of the Extreme Sports tour. One of those top riders happens to be my ex-boyfriend from high school, Anthony Ville. Since she left me, it seems that all I have been thinking about is our relationship and feelings we had for each other. It is true my reason for breaking up with him was shitty, to put it lightly. I literally broke up with him just to break up; I was such a jerk. Honestly, though, looking back on our relationship, I think I was just scared because our feelings were so intense for each other. I think that I thought that if he went off and became a pro, he would find someone so much better and then I would have had the broken heart. Selfish, I know!
I need to get my mind off him. I haven’t thought of him in so long–well, not that long. I think about him more often than I like to admit, and I would never tell Neha this. She would never let me live that down. Sometimes, I swear I can still smell the cologne he used to wear or feel his lips when we would kiss–god, I miss that. Wait, what? I shouldn’t be thinking about that! Though, I also miss his hugs; he was so much taller than me and would just wrap me up in his arms, and I felt safe there. He gave the best hugs. I don’t regret anything in our relationship. I loved that boy so fiercely, and I think he loved me that way, too. We were inseparable. We just fit together so well, and I could tell he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend. Of course, I wanted to be. Once he finally asked and I said yes, he stated we are like math without the numbers because it was the two of us coming together! He was so cute and stumbled over his words. Of course, I wanted to be his girlfriend!
I need to get my mind on something else. I need to call Neha and ask what the plans are for Denver. “Hey! How are you? I wanted to ask what the plans are for Denver?” I am met with silence, which is not like Neha.
“You really want to go with me?”
I am shaking my head at this girl, though she cannot see me. “Yes, you kind of didn’t give me an option. Was it too early for you to remember all this at AM?”
Sighing as loud as one possibly could, she starts saying, “I just didn’t think you would really go with me because of your concerns. I know I said you more than likely wouldn’t run into each other, but what if you do?”
This was my worry at AM and it didn’t seem to matter because she assured me chances of us running into each other were nonexistent. Now, she is second guessing this–unbelievable. “Neha, I honestly doubt we will see one another, and if we do, I will just smile and wave at him. I won’t be awkward about it, and I hope you won’t be either. Besides, I want to see you in action! I’ve never gone with you in your interviews. I just won’t be there for the BMX one, for obvious reasons.”
Receiving silence again, I have to say hello just to make sure she is still on the phone. “Neha, are you still there?”
Clearing her voice, she finally speaks. “Yes, I am still here. I am just shocked you are agreeing to go. It will be fun, I promise. Can you drive us there, though? You always say my driving freaks you out.” It really does freak me out–she is the worst driver in the history of driving.
“So, it is all set. You will meet me at my house Friday morning, and we will pack up the car and head out on I-70 toward Denver.”
“Sounds like a plan! Hey, Ashlynn, thank you for coming with me.”
After hanging up the phone, I decide I need to keep my mind busy and off a certain someone. I moved into my new house a little over months ago and still have some boxes to unpack. Connecting my iPod to my Bluetooth speaker, I hit random and start to unpack. I start with the box labeled books and when I open it, I get a big smile on my face. All my notebooks with my book ideas and poetry are in here; I haven’t read these in forever. I pick one up that doesn’t have anything written on the front, so I assume this is just a new book that hasn’t been used yet. Flipping to the middle of the notebook and shock takes over me. In the middle of the page is Anthony’s cell phone number, which he gave me the last time we saw each other at a Hawthorne Heights concert. Instantly, I get a flashback of that night. It was after we had broken up. Neha doesn’t know about this, but we ran into each other at the show and watched it together. He was holding onto me like we were still a couple, and I did not object. At one point, he leaned into me and grabbed my ass, stating that it was his with hunger in his eyes. If this isn’t a sign to go to that damn tour, I don’t know what is.
After a little over an hour, driving on I-70, we are in Denver. I park the car in the area where the event is taking place, and I am awestruck at all the tents, vendors, and stages that are set up for this tour. It almost looks more like a rock festival than an Extreme Sports tour. I might actually have a good time. I know I will have a good time once I spot the Whiskey tent! Once Neha checks in with her supervisor, we set off, looking at everything they have to offer. We are making our way to the skatepark area for her first interview, and I am feeling the excitement in the air.