43
Ashlynn
Silver Bullet (Acoustic) – Hawthorne Heights
I have been staring at my phone since Cora left and closed the door behind her. Six unread messages just wait to be opened and read. I don’t know what I am waiting for. A part of me really thought that was it in the hotel, when he said he was done with us, but this proves what I have known. He didn’t mean anything he said to me that night. It was the guilt talking, and he just pushed me away, instead of figuring the situation out together. I take a deep breath and click on his name, and they all appear on my screen. I scroll to the top one: New Year’s Day, right at midnight.
Ok, that was rude! I say out loud.
After the second message, the tears start slowly falling down my cheeks. I wipe them away. He admitted he ruined us and then proceeded to say he won’t text me again when I still have four additional messages to read.
I lay my phone down on the bed and just lose all control of my emotions with that last one. I don’t know if I can read the other three if they are like that. I can feel his remorse and his hurt with that one message, as if he is next to me confessing all of this. I wipe my eyes and blink a few times to try clearing my vision. I grab a tissue from the bathroom and go back to read the remaining ones.
I let out a shaky breath, shut my screen off, set my phone down, shut the lights off, and lay down. Just when I thought I knew Anthony, he throws a curveball with the last message, saying he loved me, and that I am his forever. That’s something he has told me since high school. Then the song lyrics to Silver Bullet by Hawthorne Heights. I turn my phone back on and play the acoustic version of it; that one has always been my favorite. Laying with my eyes closed, feeling the tears still rolling down my face, I say out loud, “I love you and I want us back, too!”
I fall asleep, no doubt from the emotions I was having after reading his messages and reading about how he feels. I can feel him tighten his arms around me, moving his left hand to caress my arm lightly, and leaving goosebumps all over me. I feel him start to kiss my neck and my shoulders, and finally I am looking into hazel eyes, as he captures my lips in a slow and passion filled kiss. I moan into his mouth while he moves between my legs. I can feel how hard he is as he rubs himself against me, which has me moving my hips up to feel more of him. He pulls his head back, looking down at me, and he says, “I just want to kiss you and make up for lost time, baby.”
I gently bite his bottom lip and pull him closer, but we're soon interrupted by knocking at the door. I glance at the door and then back to Anthony, but he's disappeared. The knocking continues and I wake up. It was all a dream, but I swear I can still feel his kiss on my lips, as I trace them with my fingers. I feel almost guilty having a dream about him in Avan’s bed, but that is short-lived because that’s the closest I have been to him since I left the hotel back in November–even though it was only a dream.
Getting up out of bed to get ready for the day to travel back home, I finish getting dressed, throw my hair up in a messy bun, and forgo my makeup, wearing my glasses for the day. Heading into the kitchen for some coffee, Cora is standing at the counter pouring herself a cup. “Hey! Would you like some coffee?” she asks me.
“Yes, I would. Thanks.”
I give her a small smile after she pours some into my mug. We both sit down at the island. I can feel her looking at me. “I read them all Cor. He wants me back.”
Her face lights up with a big smile and the same dimples that Avan has. “Ash, that’s great. I am glad you read them. Now, what are you going to do?”
I just shake my head because I don’t know where to go from here. Do I go to Greenville? Or wait until we will be in Santa Cruz? I am both happy and confused. Right then, Neha comes into the kitchen and pours herself some coffee. She looks over at me and she can tell by the way I look and my puffy eyes, that I didn’t get much sleep.
“Ash, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?” I open my phone to the messages and set it down on the island for both her and Cora to read. I walk away and stand at the windows looking out at the mountains while they read what Anthony wrote. All I hear is Neha, saying, “Holy shit!”
Then Cora, with a shaky breath, says, “Oh my god, Ashlynn. This may not be appropriate, but I think Anthony just made me swoon!” We all start laughing at Cora for her comment. “Isn’t it so strange to think you both are so far apart, but are having the same feelings? I would call that kismet for sure.” Cora says, and Neha nods her head in agreement.
After we drink our coffees, we packed up and headed down the mountain to stop for a quick breakfast and to say goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Hendrix; then we’re off to the airport to head back home.
I have been quiet all morning, just processing the thought of Anthony and me again. Maybe this time will truly be our second run. Lost in thought, I catch the last end of Neha’s question. “I’m sorry, Neha, what did you say?”
She rolls her eyes at me. “First, stop processing so hard. He wants you back; you don’t need to think about it anymore than that. Second, you have to be honest about this one. Who is better in the bedroom, Anthony or Avan?”
I let out a laugh at Neha; she seriously just asked me who is better in bed. “You really want to know?” She looks at me like duh, that’s why she asked. “Avan was good, but nothing compares to Anthony Ville in bed.”
Neha smirks at me, “I knew it, but I just had to ask. Who is bigger?”
I cover my face, and when I move my hands to look at Neha, I notice an older lady giving us a nasty look at our plane conversation. She just shakes her head at us. I lean into Neha. “I think you disgusted your neighbor; also, I am not answering your question. You do not need to know either of their sizes.”
She crosses her arms, “FINE!” I put my earbuds in and turn my music on as the plane takes off.
I am being shaken awake, and we have landed. I must have passed out on the plane ride; it was a deep, dreamless sleep. Which is kind of disappointing if I am being honest. I wouldn’t mind picking up where my dream left off. Neha and I gather our luggage to head outside. Heath is parked waiting for us right in front of the arrivals area. As soon as he sees us, he jumps out of his car to throw our luggage in the back. He gives us both a hug and then we are off back home to Frisco.
I love the feeling of being back home after being gone, even if it is just for a few nights or a week. It always feels good to be back in your own home. I can tell Heath has hung out at my house a few times while we were gone. As soon as we step through the front door, the smell of a cinnamon candle hit my senses. “How was the trip? You guys have fun?” Heath asks both Neha and me.
“It was really good and fun.” I start walking toward my room that I use for my writing and notice Heath is watching me very closely. “Why are you watching me like that?”
Heath doesn’t say anything at first, thinking before he talks. “There is just a surprise in there for you, that’s all.”
I eye him suspiciously, then turn to open the door and right there are five large boxes of my books. I forgot they got delivered while I was gone. This puts a smile on my face.
I walk around my desk and pull my laptop out of my backpack along with the charger. I kneel down and duck under my little table I have by the desk, get the charger plugged in and when I start moving out from under the table, I smack the back of my head and hear my picture fall over and the glass break. “Ow, dang it–that hurt!”
I rub my head and sit in my chair. When I look over and Heath is standing in the doorway. “Ashlynn stop getting hurt please, for crying out loud!”
I let out a small laugh and turn my chair to clean up the broken glass. I pick the frame up and see a sticky on the table, with handwriting I know all too well. I grab the sticky and read it. “I just miss you!”
My eyes start to water, and I turn back to Heath. “He came to see you while you were gone. He wanted to talk to you, to apologize for everything that happened. He stayed for more than a few hours and told me everything. You know what sticks out the most that he told me?” I close my eyes and shake my head. When I open them, Heath is standing right in front of my desk. “He instantly regretted what he did. Once he told me that, Ash. I knew he was a good guy. He owned up to everything. Give me your phone so you can read what else he has been trying to tell you.”
I am quiet with Heath for a few minutes. I am still stuck on the fact that Anthony came to see me. Little does he know, I have already unsilenced my alerts for Anthony and read all his messages. “I already read them all, Heath. I read them last night.”
Heath blows out a breath, like he is relieved that I did it on my own, even though Cora gave me the nudge to go for it. “Thank goodness! You should go to the Overbear page too. I have to head out, but I will talk to you later.”
Shortly after, I hear Heath and Neha tell me bye from my living room and close the door behind them. I open up Instagram and go to the Overbear page. The first picture is of the whole team, with Anthony standing in the middle of all of them with the caption saying, “Ville is back in the game!”
I loved my messages from him, but this caption and picture makes me happier. He is back riding–where he belongs. I then go to watch a few of the newer videos, and they are from recent competitions. Anthony is more than back–it’s like he never left. He won first place in the two they have posted of him. I also see a few pictures that he is tagged in, and he is at the skatepark at Memorial Park in Colorado Springs. He came back to Colorado when he stepped away from riding.
I am sitting in my living room, holding my phone and contemplating if I should call him or send him a text message. I want to call him to hear his voice, but I am unsure of what to do, really. He dropped in on me and now it’s my turn to drop in on him. I smile to myself and say out loud, “He came to see me!”