Chapter 25
Evelyn
Everything feels slightly surreal: the fact that I’m on a private jet en route to Colombia and the possibility that the gorgeous man sitting next to me is completely devoted to me. At the very least, Massimo is infatuated with me.
It’s bizarre, utterly disconnected from my mundane life as it had been only a few days ago.
I’d gone to work teaching English at the university every day, and at night, I’d returned to the tiny apartment that I’d tried to make into a home for George and me.
Our relationship hadn’t been passionate, but I’d loved him.
At least, I thought I did.
Now, I’m not sure what love even is. Because it’s not lies and betrayal: what George offered me in the end.
“What are you thinking about?” Massimo touches the fading mark on my neck, calling my attention to him. “Are you nervous about the flight?”
“I’m nervous about accompanying a drug lord to meet his other cartel friends in Colombia,” I burst out before I think better of it.
Stefano has stepped into a separate, private compartment to make a phone call. If he were present, I wouldn’t dare such raw honesty. But I don’t have to hold back around Massimo. I can’t.
“I have business in Colombia,” he insists. “We’ve discussed this. I won’t leave you alone in Mexico City.”
When I’m in Massimo’s arms, it’s so much easier to allow myself to drift, to live in the moment instead of falling prey to panic. My entire life is spinning out of my control, and his solid presence has become my anchor.
But he’s the one taking me farther away from America.
I shake my head. “I’m only on this jet because I don’t have a choice. I know it’s not safe for me in Mexico City, but I will be safe in Albuquerque.”
“And what is it that you’re so desperate to get back to?
” He almost sneers the words. “What does that place have to offer you that I can’t provide?
You said yourself that you don’t have a career there.
You’re not close to your family. And your engagement is ended.
There is nothing for you in America. I will give you everything you could ever dream of. ”
“I’m not surrounded by criminals when I’m in Albuquerque,” I shoot back, fear burning into frustration.
His eyes narrow. “George Crawford is a criminal, and you shared his bed.”
I reel back, as though the words are a physical blow.
His stunning features instantly twist with regret.
“Farfallina,” he rasps, reaching for me.
I turn my face away, but he touches two fingers beneath my chin, guiding my gaze back to his.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I want you to be happy with me. Stay with me.”
It isn’t a question, but the flicker of uncertainty in his shining eyes softens some of my thorniness. He doesn’t want me to leave his side. For some reason, he’s almost desperate to keep me.
“Why?” I ask softly. “Why do you want me to stay? You barely know me.”
“I want to know more.” His voice is deep with sincerity. “I can’t let you go, Evelyn. But I promise I will do everything in my power to make you happy with me.”
He looks at me as though I’m the most important thing in his world. No one has ever looked at me like this. I crave more of his intense, intimate attention. Even though I know it comes with a price. Massimo wants to take me away from everything I’ve ever known.
He said the painful truth out loud: there’s nothing for me back in Albuquerque.
But that doesn’t mean I want to be forever associated with the mafia. Even if we leave the cartels behind, Massimo is camorrista. He’s hidden the darker aspects of his business from me, but I know he’s capable of shocking violence.
I consider my words carefully. “I care about you, Massimo. But I don’t want anything to do with organized crime.
George is corrupt, but until a few days ago, I believed that he was one of the good guys.
I’ve spent the last two years surrounded by DEA agents.
I’ve heard some of their stories about the cartels.
That world is dangerous, and the people involved are evil. I don’t want to be part of that.”
My dark savior pulls away from me.
“Evil,” he repeats flatly. “The world isn’t divided into good men and evil men. I knew you were innocent, but I didn’t realize you’re completely na?ve.”
I flinch, stung. “You can’t convince me that the mafia is good. It’s a dangerous criminal organization.”
His cold gaze pierces me like a knife. “I’m dangerous, Evelyn. That doesn’t mean I’m a danger to you. Do you think I’m evil?”
“No!” I reply, quick and vehement. “You told me about your childhood, about your parents’ murder. I understand that you only did what you had to in order to survive. You’ve saved me so many times. I know you’re a good man.”
Some of the tension eases from his jaw, but his words are harsh.
“And I told you that I don’t regret my life.
Even before my parents were killed, I saw the world for how it really is, something that they never wanted to acknowledge.
They died for their pacifist beliefs, for their naivete.
I wanted more than just scraping by. I wanted to be camorrista, to be powerful and rich.
Untouchable. I regret that they were taken from me, but I will never regret what I’ve become. ”
Untouchable. My heart aches for him.
He might not see it, but he made his choices out of a desire for safety and security. He was raised in poverty, in a dangerous neighborhood. The mafia was his way out, the only way open to him.
When I consider the world though his eyes, maybe it isn’t as black and white as I’d like it to be.
And considering my own circumstances, I need to rethink my worldview. I was engaged to a man who turned out to be corrupt. He was supposed to be my white knight. I was so wrong about George.
Everything in me tells me I’m safe with Massimo. He’s proven that through his actions so many times.
My reality has shifted entirely in a matter of days. Really, it happened in a matter of seconds: when George failed to protect me, and Massimo jumped into the line of fire to save my life.
My feelings are too complicated to puzzle out what to say next, and I don’t want to hurt Massimo.
So, instead of continuing to argue about morality, I gently press my lips to his in a soft kiss. It’s an apology and a peace offering.
I don’t like his mafia lifestyle, but I care about him. He’s a good man, and I tell him that with every stroke of my tongue against his.
I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know that in this moment, all I want is to be right here, in his arms.