Chapter 37
Massimo
The man jerks against the ropes that bind him tightly to the metal chair, the only piece of furniture in the dank basement beneath the Camorra bar.
Upstairs, Gian and Enzo are probably longing for their turn to prove themselves, tossing and turning in their makeshift beds in the back room that we’ve made our home for the last four years.
The brothers are as eager as I am to become camorrista.
We’ve paid our dues and run errands for the Bernardi clan—everything from selling their product on the street to carrying out minor robberies.
Tonight, it’s my time to become a man. Their opportunity will come soon enough.
The captive man is rail thin with visible track marks on his skinny arms. His dirty clothes hang loosely on his scrawny frame, but I can’t see his face. Someone has shoved a black hood over his head, and, judging by the muffled sounds coming from beneath it, he’s gagged.
Cesare Salerno looms behind his captive, cold black eyes glinting with amusement at the man’s predicament.
His thin lips are stretched into a semblance of a smile, but there’s no warmth behind it.
In his impeccably tailored suit, he might pass for a suave gentleman—if you don’t look too closely at his maniacal expression.
We all know to tread carefully around the notorious sadist and sociopath who’s renowned for making his enemies suffer before they die.
He’s a powerful man, and one day, he’ll probably be head of the clan.
He’s vicious and ruthless—with a cruel streak that makes him one of the most feared men in Le Vele.
Salerno’s dark eyes flash beneath the spare lightbulb that barely illuminates the concrete space, his inhuman gaze cutting straight into my soul.
“I have a job for you, Massimo.”
“Anything,” I reply eagerly, ready to carry out any task he demands of me.
This is the first time I’ve ever been alone with Salerno—well, alone except for his captive.
Tonight is my chance to make an impression. To become one of his brothers in blood. I will get out of this shitty bar, out of this shitty neighborhood. Gian and Enzo will get out with me. We made a pact, and none of us will leave the others behind.
Salerno fists the hood and jerks it off his captive’s head.
Just as I suspected, the man is gagged, a dirty length of cloth drawn tightly between his yellowed teeth. Sweat drenches his sun-weathered brow, and his eyes are wild with panic.
“Do you know this man?” Salerno asks.
I study his fear-twisted features. “No.”
Salerno grips the man’s hair, yanking his head back so that I can see his face clearly.
“Look at him. Memorize his face. Burn it into your mind.”
I nod, obeying. I study the dirty man as though he’s an insect I might grind beneath my boot.
“You’re going to kill him.” Salerno’s cold command freezes the blood in my veins.
My heart stutters, but I keep my face impassive.
I’ve never killed anyone before. Sometimes, I wave a gun around to get people’s attention, and occasionally, I draw blood with my knife. But I always avoid killing.
My mother’s empty, caramel eyes flicker through my mind, the memory of her final look of horror tormenting me.
I straighten my shoulders and face Salerno.
“Why?” I ask, jerking my chin at the bound man. “What did he do?”
A hint of a smirk plays around the corners of Salerno’s mouth. He’s enjoying this.
“You’ll never know. You’ll kill him because I ordered you to. Won’t you, Massimo?” The last is a snake’s challenging hiss.
My mind churns, and I struggle to force down the macabre images of my parents’ dead bodies. They were innocent, and the gang gunned them down for no reason.
I left behind my father’s pacifism long ago, but the prospect of turning into the same kind of monster that murdered him makes nausea surge.
I tip my chin back and meet Salerno squarely in the eye, knowing better than to show a moment of weakness.
“And if I don’t?”
With the swiftness of a striking viper, he draws the gun that was holstered at his side. It trains directly on my heart, and I stop breathing.
“Then you’ll die tonight instead.”
I swallow hard, but I keep my shoulders straight. “I don’t know this man. Why should I kill him? He hasn’t wronged me.”
“This isn’t about right and wrong,” Salerno sneers. “This is about loyalty. This is about doing what you’re told. Only one of you is leaving this basement. You get to choose who is breathing when we’re finished here. It’s you or him. Camorrista or death. You want to be one of us, don’t you?”
“Yes.” My answer is immediate and vehement.
“Then prove it,” he snaps. “I’m getting bored, and I might just shoot you both if you keep asking stupid questions.”
He’s still pointing the gun at my chest, but I know better than to hesitate. I boldly stride toward him, closing the distance between us. I take even breaths and will my hand not to shake as I lift it to accept the weapon.
He offers me a savage grin and gives me the gun. My fingers are numb, but I’ve handled a weapon often enough that I’m able to hold it by muscle memory.
I step in front of the bound man and press the barrel to his forehead, right between his eyes. I can at least make this quick for him.
Because there isn’t a choice at all. This is about more than becoming camorrista; this is about survival. And I’ve always done what’s necessary to survive.
Salerno will kill us both if I hesitate. I’m not willing to end up dead for the kind of foolish principles that ruled my father’s moral compass. There’s no point in both of us dying here tonight.
“Wait.”
My heart leaps into my throat. For a moment, I think I’ve passed the test, and Salerno will let us both go.
Then he removes the man’s gag.
“Please don’t kill me. Please. I have a family. I have three children. They need me to put food on the table. Please, don’t do this.” The pleas leave his bloody lips in a panicked stream.
I have no way of knowing if it’s true. He could be lying.
Or his children might starve without him to provide for them.
I glance at Salerno. For an insane moment, I consider turning the gun on him and shooting a bullet into his black heart.
But then I would be an enemy of the Camorra. Gian and Enzo would try to protect me, and we’d all be hunted down like dogs. We’d die in the squalor of Le Vele, and no one would mourn us.
I won’t allow my friends to die because of me.
I look directly into the bound man’s eyes. They’re dark green, turned almost black by his dilated pupils. He continues to beg for his life, but his pleas are drowned by the ringing in my ears.
I burn his face into my mind. Not because Salerno commanded it, but because I owe the man that much. I will remember this until the day I die. I will remember him and carry the burden of his death forever. It’s a twisted sort of tribute to him, and it’s all I can offer.
It takes the barest movement of my forefinger to squeeze the trigger. It shouldn’t be so easy to kill a man.
I should’ve used a knife. Having his blood on my hands might make everything feel more real. I should feel his death in every way possible. Such a violent end should be visceral. And a man should have a chance to defend himself.
I shot him right between his eyes and ended his life in less than one of my own selfish heartbeats.
Salerno is laughing quietly. He claps me on the back and takes the gun from my icy fingers.
I follow him out of the basement, leaving the dank space as a man. The half-starved, desperate boy who descended these concrete stairs only minutes ago died in the same instant I ended my victim’s life. I just attained everything I’ve ever wanted, and my soul is screaming because of it.
“Massimo.” Evelyn’s soft voice soothes my wounded soul like a healing balm. “Massimo, wake up.”
I bury my face in her silken hair, breathing in her floral scent to ground myself in the present. I’m not that weak boy anymore. I’ve killed plenty more men since that night. I’ve lost count of how many have died by my hand.
But unlike that night, I always kill with a purpose.
I have my own code of honor and sense of justice, something that Salerno has never understood.
He’s my boss now, as cruel and conniving as ever.
But Gian, Enzo, and I have become powerful enough that he doesn’t often command us to cross our own moral lines.
Even the most loyal dog will bite if cornered.
We’re loyal to our clan, not Salerno personally. But until the day comes when we’re able to overthrow the bastard, we have to give him our fealty. The day of reckoning is coming soon now that we’ve made this deal with Duarte and Rodríguez.
“What are you thinking?” Evelyn murmurs, trailing her soft fingers through my hair. The light scrape of her nails over my scalp sends tingles down my spine. “Tell me about your dream.”
I shake my head. I will never tell her about that awful night. There are some darker details about my past that she doesn’t need to know. She would turn from me in revulsion, and I can’t bear that.
“Look at me,” she cajoles, tugging lightly at my hair.
My eyes lock on hers. They glitter through the darkness of the night, capturing the city lights that shine through the dimmed floor to ceiling window. The stars in her eyes are stunning, hypnotic.
“I’m not a good man,” I hear myself confess, the truth drawn from deep in my soul.
I’ve always known it, but I’ve never allowed myself to contemplate it. I’m unapologetic of my violent lifestyle because I know the darker truths of the world.
But my parents would be ashamed of what I’ve become. And now, I cling to precious Evelyn with bloodstained hands.
“I can’t change what I am. But I will be good to you. I swear.”
“I don’t want you to change,” she says in a fierce whisper. “I accept who you are, Massimo. All of you.”
“You don’t know all of me,” I admit.
And she never will. I’ll shield her from the cruelest aspects of my life.
The stars dance in her eyes. “I’ve seen who you are. You’ve shown me so many times. You always do what you think is right. You’re loyal to the people you care about, and you protect innocent people. You’re not cruel or callous.”
“I’m a dangerous man,” I warn her.
“I know,” she replies evenly. “That doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
I place my hand over her heart.
How do you feel about me? I barely keep the question locked in my chest.
I love this woman, and the prospect that she doesn’t share the depth of my feelings unnerves me. In time, she will love me. I’ll settle for nothing less than soul-deep devotion. She’s already addicted to my touch, and I know she feels affection for me. That’s enough for now.
Soon, we’ll start our new life together in Italy. I’ll help Gian and Enzo with their coup.
And I will be powerful and wealthy enough to keep Evelyn safe and blissfully happy.