17. Snow
Chapter seventeen
Snow
He. Pressed. A. Gun. To. My. Head.
And yet, I looked him in the eyes the entire time, and that’s what terrifies me the most.
Not the fact that I could have died with just a simple push of the trigger, but the fact I embraced death like an old friend.
For a moment, I had wanted to die, even though the tears streaked down my face. I had wanted Prince to just end it all and put a bullet in my head.
Because I am through with this. Through with being weak and with everyone wanting to kill me.
It's going to happen eventually, anyway, so why prolong the inevitable?
Prince will prolong my torture. He will continue to play with me before he’s through with me, and then when he’s done, he will pull out that gun again and kill me.
Or maybe he will kill me slowly…
In his eyes, I may not deserve a clean death, and a shudder wracks through me as I close my lids, envisioning myself with Mama and Daddy again as we made a wish by the wishing well.
This definitely wasn’t what I wished for.
No. I wished for the three of us to be happy forever. I was such a na?ve child.
There is no happiness in this world.
Any happiness I did feel was just an illusion.
But at least I was happy for a short while with my parents, even if it all had been a mirage, and I take comfort in the fact that I will soon get to see them again.
One day, Mama and Daddy. We will be together again.
The door opens at the end of the hallway, and my body tenses as I wonder what he has in store for me today.
If I’m lucky, he has decided that he no longer needs me and he has come to put me out of my misery.
When the bolt on my cell door slides open, I roll up into a ball, as if that will help make me smaller.
To my relief, it’s merely Saint as he saunters into the room with food, and my body slackens when I pick up on the scent of soup.
Carrot this time.
“Morning.”
Is it?
I have no concept of time in this dreary place.
Everything just blurs together.
How long has it even been? I wonder what Regina is doing at this very moment.
Laughing at my demise? I wouldn’t put it past her.
“You’re not going to say morning back?”
I keep quiet, buttoning my lips. Hopefully, he will just take the hint and leave. I am not in a talkative mood today.
Though, I do remember how he talked Prince out of shooting me, and maybe I can trust him.
Maybe…
I must still be on guard. In the end, these men locked me up. They were enemies of my late father, so I am not safe, no matter how many bowls of soup they bring me.
Saint sighs, leaning against the wall. Both he and Angel tend to assume the same posture when they come down to visit.
I haven’t seen the other twin for a while.
Perhaps he got sick of the sight of me.
“Not even a hello?”
Why is he so cheery? He did see me almost get shot, right?
“Snow?”
I squeeze my eyes, wrapping the blanket around me tighter.
Finally, Saint heaves a hefty breath, the whole weight of the world leaving his shoulders. “Look, Snow… about yesterday…”
That was only yesterday?
As I said, no concept of time.
“Prince is… complicated…”
You can say that again.
The man is a maniac.
Darn, was that how my own father looked to others?
He was always sweet with me, but he must have unleashed that same monster on his enemies a number of times. A ball of anxiety forms in my chest.
No wonder Prince hates me so much.
I can’t eat now. Even the smell of the soup is making me nauseated. I will simply wither away in here.
Saint exhales once again, then steps away from the wall, bringing the soup with him. My stomach gurgles.
“Don’t fret. Just focus on eating now.”
I suck in a breath. “Is he going to kill me?”
Saint freezes mid-step, and I finally look around at his blue eyes. “Well?”
He shuts his eyes, choosing his words carefully, yet it’s clear I have left him stumped.
I push the blanket away, swinging my legs over the bed. “Don’t humor me. We both know it’s only a matter of time.”
Saint reaches a hand up, rubbing between his eyes, and his silence says it all.
I knew it.
Maybe I should eat the soup.
It may be the last meal I ever have.
My eyes sting, and I peer away from him, my eyes landing on the bullet hole in the corner of the cell.
An empty shell casing lies on the ground.
My nose clogs as the waterworks make their reappearance, and there’s no point in sugarcoating it.
I am terrified.
Even if I am brave enough to look down the barrel of a gun, I still fear for my life.
It’s the unknown. Never knowing which day could be my last, and now I gaze at the soup and bread longingly.
Yet that knot of anxiety won’t budge, and then I have the sudden urge to vomit.
“I’m sorry…” Saint whispers, and the tears pour in earnest now.
Once again, I drag my blanket back over my head and face the wall so he doesn’t see me cry.
I don’t need his sympathy. He's just as bad as Prince.
In fact, I just want him to leave.
“Snow?” Saint says.
“Please, just… leave me alone…”
Silence falls upon him, and I’m tempted to turn my head and see what kind of face he is making.
Instead, I observe him from the corner of my eye. His long hair is pulled back in a ponytail today, displaying the angular bones of his face, and he really is handsome.
All of them are devastatingly gorgeous.
But they are monsters. My captors.
Therefore, I cannot trust them.
Not even Hunter, who, unsurprisingly, hasn’t made another appearance.
I wonder if Prince punished him.
Saint steps toward the sideboard and sets the soup down. Then he turns and leaves, locking the door behind him.
Once I’m finally alone, I muffle my sobs, placing my hand over my mouth so no one can hear me.
I cry until the soup grows cold. And even when the bread grows stale.
Looks like I wasn’t hungry after all.