Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
SPENCER
R ealizing my presence is no longer a secret, I look up and catch Anthony’s gaze. His pretty blue eyes are not the warm ocean breeze I know them to be, they’re sharp as ice. Specks of red dot his face and clothing. His mouth pulls up into a grin. Beside him, Pierce chuckles.
“You should have knocked, Flower.”
Cold sweat coats my skin as I lie there on the king-size, memory foam bed surrounded by a fluffy comforter and Rio’s warmth. I take deep breaths and soak in the security Rio’s arms bring me.
When I fell asleep in Rio’s room earlier, it was still light outside. Zane, Rio, and I were eating Chinese takeout while watching the Twilight movies because Zane had finished the last book and I insisted he watch the movies. It was entertaining to see his and Rio’s reactions.
Asher had been out all day today working, I assume.
Rio’s arms are still wrapped around my torso and his face is nuzzled in my hair as he breathes deeply. Zane accidentally woke me up when he slipped from the bed a couple hours ago. He had a gotten a call and needed to head into work.
A shout rings out in the quiet house—desperate and full of terror.
“No! This can’t be real!”
What is going on out there? Please don’t let this be another basement incident.
Slipping out of Rio’s hold, I tiptoe into the hallway on quiet feet. The shouting continues, coming from up the second flight of stairs. When I reach the top, I peek in the only open door.
It’s another bedroom with metal and brick accents, black curtains, and a large bed in the center with onyx bedding. But the comforter is askew as Asher tosses and turns in his sleep in the center of the bed. The little moonlight from the window reflects off his sweat-soaked skin, and I can hear his breaths coming in short bursts.
He’s wearing a pair of boxers and nothing else. With the lack of clothing, I can see the colorful ink decorating his arms. In the dark, I’m able to make out a dragon swirling down his right arm. On his left he has a large tree spanning the width of his bicep. The colors dance and complement each other beautifully.
“Please! Someone help her!”
My heart breaks for him—trapped in his own mind. I’m too familiar with the feeling.
Just because I’m mad at him, doesn’t mean he deserves to be left alone at a time like this.
“Rachel, please no!”
Who the hell is Rachel?
Cautiously, I approach the side of the bed where he lies with his back to me and run my hand down his arm.
Apparently, that was the wrong fucking move.
He grips my wrist and, with little effort, pulls me over his body and lays me flat on my back. He’s on top of me in less than a second, his knees straddling my hips, his hands gripping my wrists above my head.
“Asher!”
His eyes are open, but he doesn’t see me—he hasn’t come back yet.
“ASHER!” I yell again.
When he still doesn’t hear me, I bring my heels up to my butt and buck my hips up, causing Asher to fall forward and let go of my wrists. Immediately, I wrap my arms around his torso and trap one of his arms in my hold as well. He goes to break my grip by attempting to push away. Asher is stronger than I am, but I’m faster. Before he can get free, I buck my hips again and roll us to the side, ending with me on top.
He grabs my hair, but I slap him across the face before he can pull. The slap echoes in the room, and Asher pauses. Afraid I’ve hurt him; I softly stroke the cheek I hit. The skin there is covered in stubble.
Timidly, I ask, “Asher? Are you okay?”
His grip on my hair loosens, and he covers his eyes with his hand. “Did I hurt you?”
“Wha—”
He clenches his jaw. “Don’t lie to me.”
“No.” My answer is rushed.
He sits up easily, even with my weight on top of him, and leans back against the headboard. “You shouldn’t have come in here.”
Instinctively, I want to shrink away from his rejection but pushing me away is his shield. We all have that innate impulse to protect ourselves—it’s literally hardwired into our brains. Asher is no exception. Right now, I’m a threat. He’s vulnerable and doesn’t want to show me his fears.
He was my rock when I couldn’t breathe after Anthony sent me the flowers. He doesn’t understand how essential he was in that moment. I felt safe enough to break down, he should get the same.
“You were there for me when I needed someone.”
He still won’t look at me. “I was just doing my job.”
“Is that all I am? A job?” I do my best to not let the hurt leech into my voice. He’s hurting and trying to push me away. I need to prove that I don’t scare so easily.
When he refuses to answer, I decide he needs a push . . . or a distraction.
I place a hand on his chest and bring my face close to his. “Do you make everyone you care for in your job come?”
He sucks in a breath. “That was?—”
I drag a finger down his chest and allow my eyes to wander lower. His abs are perfectly sculpted and there’s a light smattering of hair across his pecs. “A mistake? Try again. You’re not dumb, Asher. You don’t make impulsive decisions. If I was truly a mistake, you wouldn’t have tried to touch me again the next night.”
He fists the sheets next to my legs and finally looks me in the eye. The intensity there makes my skin tingle, and I rock my hips.
“Stop it,” he says through clenched teeth.
The big bad Viking doesn’t want to play? Too bad.
I quirk my brow. “Stop what?”
“Don’t play dumb, Princess. You know exactly what you do to me.”
Splaying my hands over his chest, I drag my core back and forth against his hardening cock. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I have no clue where this bold woman came from, but I’m drunk on the power. I love seeing how I affect him. Me; I make this man hard. I make him want.
“Is that what you want? You want to hear how you make me crazy? Fine.” His hands grip my hips, and he thrusts his hips upward, putting the perfect amount of pressure on my clit. “Just the thought of your tight, little body drives me insane. I’m not sure whether I want to spank your ass raw or kiss you until you can’t breathe.”
My thighs squeeze together, and I moan when he hits that spot again just right.
“Is that what you want, Princess? You want me to slap your ass over and over as I drive my cock into your pussy until you scream for me?”
I whimper then bring my mouth to his and let him devour me. His tongue invades my mouth, and I moan louder.
His hands roam my body, and all thoughts drift away. All I can think about is how I need his hands and mouth everywhere.
I should be strong. I should stick to what I said before.
You know . . . that’s not a bad idea.
Grabbing his wrists, I slam them against the headboard on either side of his face. Then I pull away and tease. “No hands, remember?”
“You’re still going with that?”
“I told you ‘No hands.’ I didn’t say anything about my own.”
With a cocky smile, he links his fingers behind his head. “You want to touch me, Princess?”
“Yes.” My voice comes out needy.
“Then touch me.”
Deciding to draw out the torture, I glide my hands over his chest and allow them to travel south. I tease the skin right above the waist of his boxers. “Where can I touch you?”
“Anywhere.”
Arching a brow, I grow bolder. “What if I want to go lower?”
His eyes go wide, shocked at how I’m taking control, and he gives a small nod. He parts his legs, and I move to the space between them. I pull his waistband down and his cock springs free.
Holy shit. What did I just get myself into?
He’s huge. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m not as experienced as the women I’m sure he’s used to. Anthony is the only man I’ve ever been with until recently, and I don’t want to bring that up now. He doesn’t deserve space here.
I keep the insecurity off my face when I grab Asher at the base and give him a few firm strokes. He hisses and drives his hips into my hand.
Tossing my self-doubt aside, I ask, “What if I don’t want to use my hands either?”
He pauses and smirks. “As you wish, Princess.”
Narrow my eyes, I chide, “You really need to stop calling me that.” Then I lick the underside of his shaft. He groans loudly, and my nervousness disappears.
I’ve only done this a handful of times before, but I find that I enjoy this with Asher. And I want to explore more.
Running my tongue across the tip, his cock jerks and I smile. I continue to lick slowly until I have him begging. Wetness floods my panties from my core as I revel in his taste.
“Open your mouth, Baby.”
I can’t answer him, so I just quirk my brow.
“Please, Princess.”
My core grows wet, so I open and take as much of him as I can into my mouth. His tip bumps the back of my throat, and I gag.
“Breathe through your nose and relax your throat.”
Determined to make him wild, I do as he says, and the tip of his cock slips past my gag reflex. My head bobs up and down in his lap as I suck him in and out. His moans grow deeper, and I peer up at him through my tear-lined lashes. He’s looking at me like I’m the most beautiful thing in his world. My heart swells as tears leak out of the corners of my eyes. I may be on my knees, but I’m in charge.
I release him with a pop , grab his hand, and bring it to the back of my head. “Fuck my mouth. I want to choke on your fat cock.”
“Shit. You’re perfect, Princess.” Then Asher gathers my hair in his fist and tugs, guiding my mouth back down toward his hard length. He drags his tip across my bottom lip, and my tongue slides out to get another taste of him and lap at the bead of precum.
“Are you sure?”
My head snaps up and I look him directly in the eye. “Shut up, Asher.” Then I dip my head and take him all the way to the back of my throat.
Asher’s hips snap up impulsively. “Shit.” He pounds away in my mouth, making it almost impossible for me to keep up, but I keep sucking and licking which continues to make him go crazy. I rub my thighs together, seeking any amount of friction, but I’m still left wanting. Tears stream down my face as I look up at him again.
“Are you wet, Spencer?”
Unable to give a verbal reply, I nod.
“Then reach into your panties and touch your needy pussy.”
Slipping my hand inside, I find myself dripping. My fingers glide right through my folds. I flick my clit and let out a breathy moan.
“That’s it. Keep going. Use your fingers to make yourself come.”
Doing just as he says, I plunge two fingers inside my core and quickly find that spot that never fails to quickly bring me to the edge.
“Tap my thigh, Baby, if you don’t want me to cum down your throat. This is the only warning I’m giving you because that perfect mouth has me so fucking close.”
In answer, I squeeze his thigh with my free hand and double my efforts. Before I know it, ropes of cum are jetting out of him, and I do my best to swallow them down. At the same time, my release hits me, causing my whole body to tense and shake from my orgasm.
When I’ve swallowed the last drop, Asher lifts me up his body. “Damn you and your sexy as fuck mouth.” Then he slams his lips to mine and tastes himself on my tongue. I moan into his mouth and kiss him back with all the pent-up emotion I’ve suppressed for days. His hands go straight to my ass and grip it hard.
The kiss is lazy and lust-drunk. Eventually, I slow down and pull away. Biting my lip, I glance to the side. “I didn’t like that look in your eyes.”
“What look?”
Tears form again and take a deep breath to keep them at bay. “Pain.”
Asher’s grip turns rough. “Is that what this was? A pity blow job?”
Matching him, I aggressively clutch his shoulders. “You know that’s not what this was. Don’t take this moment away from me because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” he snaps back.
I raise a challenging brow. “Then tell me who Rachel is.”
His whole body tenses and he shuts his mouth.
“That’s what I thought. Now, hold me.” Rolling off him, I tuck my body into his side, and he wraps an arm around me while pulling up his boxers with his free hand.
Knowing he’s still feeling vulnerable, I give him a bit of truth to even the playing field. “I’ve never liked giving head before, so thank you for making it a good experience. Well . . . except with Zane . . . But . . . Never mind.”
He makes a muffled sound against the top of my head. It sounds like something between disbelief and a growl. “I don’t know if I should punch your ex or return the favor.”
A small smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. Up until now their protectiveness has been inconvenient, but I’m getting used to it. “Neither is necessary, big guy.” Taking a deep breath, I offer more of myself to ease him. “I have nightmares too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I get it. The memories take something from you every time and leave you wrung out.”
Asher turns his body towards mine and pulls me closer, so my body is flush with his, my head resting on his muscled chest. His heartbeat echoes in his chest and relaxes me. He begins playing with my hair, brushing it out with his fingers.
After a few moments, I drift off to a blissful sleep, free of Anthony and free of my horror. But one thing I can’t let go of is the truth this man is hiding.