Chapter Eight
Dear Diary,
I start big school tomorrow and haven’t told anyone, but I’m really scared. I keep looking at my uniform on my bed, and my stomach won’t stop flipping over.
The only good thing is that Ren will be there too, so at least I’ll know one person.
We spent the whole summer climbing trees in his garden. He has this huge oak tree, and he dared me to climb it one day. I was scared, but I did it anyway. Ren looked impressed.
Maybe school will be okay.
Love,
Lydia
Lydia
We reached the little campsite as the sun began to set.
On the descent from Jacob’s Ladder, we went past Kinder Downfall, a waterfall amidst craggy rocks.
After the steep climb, the sound of the rush of water had been soothing, relaxing even.
Peggy dipped down towards the stream, taking in gulps of water.
I smiled, glancing over to Ren as Mandy described how the rock formation had come to be.
I found him looking at me, a slight smile on his face, as if he knew exactly how much I liked the sound of the water, Peggy’s tentative paddle, and the view of the waterfall. I glanced away quickly.
‘Okay, ladies.’ Mandy’s booming voice carried on a gust of wind across the campsite.
‘And gentleman. Sorry, Ren. This might be your first time camping, but let’s try and get the tents up as soon as we can, as the sun will be gone in …
’ She glanced at her Fitbit. ‘About twenty-five minutes. So I’d like everyone to pair up.
That is your tent buddy. If you are already sharing, like Jade and Claire, then just get your own tent up before helping others. ’
The campsite smelled of cut grass and damp earth.
It was empty apart from us, and I wondered if not many people liked the idea of camping on a random Monday in April.
It was a wide open, secure field, which meant Peggy could roam free, with some brick buildings at the rear that housed the toilets and showers I’d been promised.
Mandy continued her speech, but my mind was spinning about the tent shoved into my backpack. God, it was at the bottom of so much crap I’d packed. I threw my pack to the floor, shifting through the stuff – changes of clothes, toiletries, and enough snacks to get me through an apocalypse.
‘So I guess it’s just us left.’
A deep voice next to me sounded, and my stomach dropped.
I’d been teetering far too close to being friendly with Ren at the top of the mountain earlier.
I blamed the beautiful view and the talk of Lily.
I couldn’t be a bitch with that combination.
I glanced up to find Ren’s tentative expression, which made him look so young and boyish.
God, I hated that his hair flicked in front of his forehead, making me want to push it back.
‘For the tents,’ he said. ‘Everyone else is paired up. I thought we could choose that spot over there. Far enough away from the toilets to avoid the stink, close enough if we need to run through the dark for a wee in the night.’ He shuddered. ‘Not looking forward to that.’
‘Still scared of the dark?’
He gave me a droll look. ‘Terrified.’
‘We’re not pitching our tents next to each other.’ I pointed to the spot he’d picked. Annoyingly, it was the perfect spot. High enough ground and flat too. A tree was nearby so that might provide shade from the morning sun.
‘We have to. Mandy said,’ Ren summarised.
‘And since when do you listen to authority?’ I arched a brow.
Ren was perfectly happy challenging authority.
He’d talk back to teachers, then don an amused, triumphant smile when he was ordered out of the room.
I was almost envious of the casual way he slung his backpack and slunk off to the head teacher.
Sometimes, he would bunk off school, declaring he had lost his way to the office.
‘I like a bit of authority. Of course, it all depends on who’s in charge.’ His eyes danced and my mind flashed an image of his palm wrapped around my wrist. My body flushed. Stupid, stupid hormones.
‘Fine.’ I said, my voice a little uneven. ‘But only ’cos it’s the best spot.’
Ren’s lips twitched as he held his hand out for my backpack, which in a cowardly fashion I handed over, mainly because I was knackered, and despite being strong enough to deadlift Ren’s entire body, I had packed too much for the trip.
Ren strode to the spot and began taking out his tent, laying it flat on the floor with all the poles and pegs.
Peggy came over, using Ren’s proximity to the ground as an excuse for some fussing, which he gave her until she trotted off elsewhere.
Ren turned back to the tent and began assembling it.
I bit my lip. He’d clearly done this before, and I hated feeling out of my depth.
I pushed away that feeling and copied him, laying my tent next to his, but far enough away that I was sure I wouldn’t hear his breathing at night or the odd time I knew he sleeptalked.
Ren cocked an inquisitive brow at the distance between our tents but mentioned nothing. I began to put up my tent, wrestling with the poles, when I felt a warm hand come over mine.
‘Here, let me help.’
‘I’ve got it.’
‘Lyds.’
‘Don’t Lyds me, Ren.’
‘Okay, okay.’ Ren backed off, returning to his own half-erected tent. At another time, in another world, I would have made a hilarious, inappropriate joke about ‘erected tents’, and I felt a bit sad that I couldn’t do it now.
Ten minutes later, the sun was almost down, and Mandy gave a five-minute warning that made me want to burst into tears.
I crouched beside the pile of tent poles, glaring at them as if they had personally offended me.
How hard could this be? The ‘instructions’ were crumpled beside me, the diagrams doing nothing to help.
I shoved a pole into what I thought was the right slot, only for the entire structure to collapse in on itself.
‘Need a hand?’ Ren asked, taking a bite out of an apple as he watched the pitiful mess of my tent.
He’d put his up in record time, but then it was a small two-person tent.
Peggy was sitting in it now, with some treats Ren had given her, her bum on display as her little legs splayed half out of the tiny tent.
It only had two poles when I’d opted for a more…
elaborate choice. It was a four-person tent with a little gazebo at the front, where I imagined I’d sit and have a flask of tea in the morning, watching the sunrise.
‘I’m perfectly capable of putting up a tent.’
I blew a strand of hair out of my face.
‘Okay.’ Another bite of the apple.
God, he was annoyingly smug.
I made some progress until a gust of wind swept across the campsite, sending the half-assembled panel into my face. I stumbled back, swatting at it like an idiot, while Ren watched.
‘You sure?’ he asked, his face innocent, but I could hear the smirk in his voice.
I inhaled through my nose and exhaled slowly.
‘I’m a grown woman. I can put up a tent. If Kat managed it, surely I can.’
Ren cocked an eyebrow. ‘Didn’t hers collapse?’
‘At least she got it up!’ I half-shouted.
Ren’s lips folded in as he held back a laugh.
‘Immature.’
‘Let me help,’ Ren asked, his tone softer.
‘I can do it myself.’
‘I know.’ He smiled softly. ‘But you don’t have to. I’m here to help you.’
I battled with the pros and cons of letting Ren help, until Ren muttered a soft plea.
‘Please.’
I stared at his eager expression, and stepped away from the tent.
‘Go sit there with Peggy.’ He nodded to the little entrance of his tent, where Peggy was sitting. ‘She hasn’t had any fussing in half an hour. She’ll keel over.’
As if on command, Peggy, her treats gobbled up, turned, and curled up on the cool grass in front of the tent.
‘Fine. For Peggy.’
Relief flooded my body, and I couldn’t even feel the shame of it.
My feet were raw from a day of walking in new boots I hadn’t broken in, and I wanted to rip my hair out because it kept sticking to my face.
If Ren wanted to help, and it was easy for him, why not?
For some reason, I thought of my dad, who always emptied the dishwasher and took the bins out religiously.
Mum didn’t touch them ever. When I asked if he hated it, he just replied, ‘Your mother smiles every time. I think it’s well earned, don’t you think? ’
God, they were insufferably in love, my parents.
‘Done,’ Ren announced two minutes later, in front of a perfectly erected tent.
‘Well, I guess travelling teaches you some things,’ I said, bitterness laced in my tone.
‘Ah—’ he scratched the back of his head. ‘Well, I actually watched a load of YouTube videos last night.’
I glanced up, frowning. ‘But – you did camp on your trips, didn’t you? Dad said.’ I shut my mouth, not wanting to express how much I lived for the tiny morsels of information I was given when he was away, even as I clung to my anger. ‘Or did you stay in hostels?’
Ren scratched the back of his head. ‘Well, about that, I didn’t really—’
Mandy’s single clap interrupted him. ‘Right, well done, everyone. I promise it will get easier on the trips. Now, they don’t usually allow campfires, but I got to know the owners, and they stipulated that as long as it was just my group…
’ She stepped aside, revealing a collection of logs and twigs.
‘So I thought we could roast some s’mores.
Very American, I know, but if they got anything right, it’s melted marshmallows. ’
We all gathered around the fire, to the sound of it crackling and popping, and everyone helped themselves to a stick, a marshmallow, and a digestive.
Peggy was desperate for a bite, but I had to explain that chocolate and marshmallows were bad for dogs.
She didn’t look convinced, and I glanced up to find Ren smiling at us both. I glanced away quickly.
Claire lowered herself on to the makeshift logs we were using as seats. The warmth of the fire flickered across her face.