Chapter Fifteen #2
Abi was probably a little old for toys but, if she didn’t want them, then I’d keep them myself. To remember today.
‘Softie,’ Lydia muttered, as I paid for my basket, after waving off Bethan who tried to give us complimentary jars of preserves.
They toiled to make these themselves, so I wouldn’t accept anything other than full price. Working in hospitality for over a decade gave you a respect for how much effort goes into making things by hand and, as a business owner, I knew how fine profit margins can be.
We made our way out of the shop, one hundred pounds lighter, to find Gareth’s smug smile.
‘She’s done it to you too, lad?’ Gareth shook his head, smiling. ‘Alpacas and all.’
Gareth and I walked ahead, rounding the corner near the stream, where the wooden cabins overlooked fields for miles and miles.
The path was edged with raised flower beds and little solar lights that probably looked magical at night.
He was mid-sentence about occupancy rates and seasonal demand for the cabins when I heard it – Lydia’s voice, soft but clear, drifting from just behind us.
‘I can’t thank you enough,’ she was saying to Bethan. ‘He was… discouraged by his business partner. His brother. Liam reminds me a bit of your Gareth, actually. Strong, silent type.’
Bethan gave a low laugh. ‘I wish Gareth was silent. I’d get a bit more peace around here. So this Liam – he doesn’t want to run the farm?’
‘No. But I think he’s wrong. I think he’s scared. And risk-averse. And it would be Ren’s baby really. He would champion it.’
‘Understandable to be apprehensive,’ Bethan replied. ‘Gareth is right, it isn’t easy, starting something like this. Both of you would have to move on site. Really live it. Early starts, late nights.’
There was a pause.
Then Lydia said, ‘Oh – I mean – we’re not… I wouldn’t be living with Ren. We’re just friends.’
My stomach twisted.
I stopped beside a signpost marked CABINS and nodded towards the nearest one, making some vague comment about the view.
Behind me, Bethan chuckled. ‘Friends. I’ve heard that one before.’
Lydia laughed, just a touch too high-pitched. ‘No, genuinely, we are. But I’ll help him as much as I can.’
Bethan didn’t let it go. ‘Cariad, I’m not daft. I see the way he looks at you – and you at him. You might believe you’re just friends now, but give it time.’
I swallowed hard, every part of me resisting the urge to glance back at Lydia. One look and I’d give myself away.
‘I’ve said enough, haven’t I? But just think about it. Life’s too short to waste time, love. It’s precious. And he’ll need all the help he can get.’ A pause. Then, ‘What is it you do? I’m sorry, I never asked.’
‘Oh—’ Lydia hesitated, then said firmly, ‘I’m a personal trainer. But I’m between jobs doing a bit of soul-searching at the moment.’
Bethan didn’t miss a beat. ‘Well, it seems pretty clear to me. You should open a gym onsite at this farm. It’d be a brilliant offer for the hotel guests. You could run retreats. Fitness and nature go hand in hand.’
It was like something short-circuited in my brain and, in an instant, I could see it.
The gym in the old stone barn. A glass-walled studio looking out over the north field.
Yoga mats rolled out at sunrise. Weekend retreats.
Then it shifted to us. Lazy mornings watching the sunrise from our bedroom.
Hosting our friends and family on a huge oak table we’d move to the orchard.
Lydia walking barefoot through wet grass, coffee in one hand, Peggy snuffling around our feet.
Shit!
Lydia had brought me here for inspiration – for the farm, for my dream. She had no idea she’d just become part of it. My heart sank and I squeezed an eye shut, trying to push away the images stuck in my brain.
We’re friends. Just friends.
That word tasted like ash in my mouth now.
‘Meddling,’ Gareth muttered beside me. I blinked and turned to find him watching me, a knowing look in his eye.
‘My wife likes to meddle,’ he said, wearing the ghost of a smile.
‘Yeah,’ I tried to laugh, but it caught in my throat. ‘She’s good at it.’
We said our goodbyes to Bethan and Gareth, and then we were alone. Just the two of us, next to her car, carrying all of this – this adoration for her.
Lydia smiled at me – the kind of bright smile that made me want to squint like she was the sun.
‘That was so much fun.’
Fun didn’t cover it. It meant so much to me, I wasn’t sure I could put it into words. Surely doing this – going out of her way to help me – meant her feelings had changed?
God, she was so gorgeous when her eyes were like this – bright and excited. She was almost rocking on her heels, like she couldn’t contain herself. There was a smudge of red jam at the corner of her mouth.
‘Yeah. Fun,’ I murmured, stepping closer to brush it away before I could think better of it. I licked it off my thumb without breaking eye contact.
Lydia’s lips parted. A flush bloomed high on her cheeks.
For a moment, I wondered if she was thinking what I was – that we could step forward right now, close the space between us.
I would kill to press my lips against hers, to show my gratitude with a swipe of my tongue.
But she stepped back and my delusion reared its ugly head.
‘Right. We should head back.’ Her voice full of cheer. She pointed to the sky. ‘Looks like it’s about to piss it down any second.’
The moment was gone, and I was left feeling empty, hollow, and so fucking stupid.
She doesn’t feel that way about you, you twat. This didn’t mean anything. Lydia would bend over backwards to help a stranger. You aren’t special. She is.
So I climbed into the car, the sky thick with rain clouds, and felt the same heaviness slide over me.