Chapter 2
Two
“Now I know how a goldfish feels,” Charlie muttered, looking at the coffee shop glass door and window. Even though it was only seven o’clock, it was pitch-dark outside. “Don’t you have any blinds or shades?”
“Isn’t the darkness unsettling?” Lou pushed a table against another, adding to the four she’d already mashed into one big table. “Just imagining someone out there, watching us, running their fingers over a freshly sharpened machete…”
Charlie stared at her. “That just made the creepiness seventeen times worse.”
With a laugh, Lou walked to the door and pulled down the shade. “I convinced the owner to install these after my house was burned down. She’s kind of cheap, so I used my tragedy strategically.”
“Your house was burned down?” Charlie asked with interest as she walked over to the window and pulled down the shade, unable to stand even a few more seconds of being so exposed. “Vindictive ex-husband?”
Lou cocked her head as she studied Charlie.
“Despite the statistics that say it’s always the husband, I actually wasn’t married at any time to the arsonist—although I did have a vindictive ex-sort-of-boyfriend who tried to kill me and Callum.
Different attempted murder though—he wasn’t the one who burned down my cabin. ”
“You live a very interesting life.”
“That’s not always a good thing.” Lou grimaced at a memory, but a knock on the now-covered door snapped her out of her reflections.
As she bounced over to unlock it, Charlie frowned. “Now that the shade’s down, we can’t see who’s at the door. It’s like the Catch-22 of window coverings.”
Although Lou laughed, she did pull the shade over enough so she could see outside. “George, Ellie, and the little peanut. We’re safe—for now.”
Lou unlocked the door, allowing a dark-haired woman and a yeti-sized man carrying a toddler into the empty coffee shop.
“Charlie, this is Ellie, George, and the most adorable baby ever, Mila.” Lou held her hands out to the little girl, who lunged for her. As she scooped up Mila, Lou said over her shoulder, “I have to take advantage of all the snuggle time I can get before Callum arrives.”
“Callum?” Mila said hopefully, looking around.
“See?” Lou laughed. “I can’t even blame her for it. Callum’s the best.”
“That’s up for debate,” Ellie said, with an adoring glance at her super-sized husband, who gave her a tiny secret smile back. “I think George’s been awarded the title already.”
“I have a feeling no one’s going to win this argument,” Charlie interrupted before Lou could counter. She resigned herself to being around even more lovey-dovey people—as if all the Fifi and Bennett mushiness wasn’t enough. “I’m Charlie, Fifi’s sister.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ellie said with a sincere smile. “Where are Fifi and Bennett?”
“I’ve learned while traveling with the two of them that letting them have lots of couple time really cuts down on the PDA.
” She made a gagging face but couldn’t hold it without laughing.
“They should be here soon—unless they decide to never leave the honeymoon suite, and then it’s up to us to pull this off. ”
Daisy arrived with her sheriff deputy husband, Chris, followed by a serious-faced woman and objectively hot man both wearing T-shirts matching the one sexy Kieran had on earlier. The two were introduced as Rory and Ian, and Charlie immediately pounced.
“Did the fire station get your coffee maker fixed?” she asked.
“No.” Rory frowned. “Everyone at the station is really cranky.”
“What about all the coffees I made?” Lou protested.
Ian gave her a level look. “I don’t think you understand how much coffee the average firefighter drinks.”
Unable to think of an unsuspicious segue, Charlie just jumped right in with the question she was dying to ask.
If he’d just been another hot and grumpy guy, she could’ve easily dismissed him from her mind, but the way he’d been so careful not to harm her or that squirrel kept replaying in her brain. “Kieran Byrne—what’s up with him?”
Rory blinked at her, looking confused, but Ian smirked. The expression immediately elevated him to supermodel-hotness levels.
“Your husband is really hot,” she told Rory honestly.
“I know.”
“Just objectively hot,” Charlie quickly amended, even though Rory hadn’t seemed at all offended or jealous at her statement. “I don’t find him subjectively hot at all.”
“Really?” Rory gave Charlie a doubtful look before studying her husband. “How can you not find him subjectively hot?”
Grinning at his wife, Ian gave her a smoldering look that promised Rory even more hotness later before turning back to Charlie. “Do you find Kieran subjectively hot?”
“Of course.” She didn’t see any reason to lie about it. “Don’t you?”
Before Ian could answer, Fifi and Bennett arrived, so Lou immediately called the murder club meeting to order.
“I have a question,” Charlie said as soon as everyone was settled in chairs around the amalgam of tables.
“Is the murder club an actual thing here? Do you meet regularly to solve murders? And, if so, why are there so many people getting killed? I mean, the town’s not that big.
A pretty significant portion of the population has to be getting axed for you to have a steady supply of murders for your club. ”
Lou laughed. “We’ve only had what—two murders? At least since I’ve moved here. So no to the regular meetings.”
“Three,” Daisy corrected. “My dead body, remember?”
“Right! Thanks, Dais.”
Charlie met Fifi’s eyes and raised an eyebrow. Answers from the murder club seemed to lead to more questions. “Um…you had your own personal dead body, Daisy?”
“Oh no.” She waved a hand, as if Charlie had given her credit for something Daisy hadn’t actually accomplished. “I just saw the dead body being moved. It wasn’t really mine.”
“We’ve had quite a few attempted murders though,” Ellie said, and everyone made agreeing sounds—except for George and Bennett. They were, apparently, having a competition to see whose face was the poker-iest.
“This area does have an unusually high crime rate,” Chris said. “And these four”—he pointed at Lou, Daisy, Rory, and Ellie—“always seem to end up in the middle of whatever investigation’s going on. Not sure when they formed an official murder club though.”
“Oookay.” Charlie drew out the word, intensely curious about so many things they’d said, but also knowing she had to focus on the topic at hand. “Putting aside all the dead bodies, arson, attempted murder—am I missing anything?”
“Assault.”
“Burglary.”
“Theft.”
“Stalking.”
“Improper use of the 911 system.”
“Dog theft.” That last one led to a round of laughter, which Charlie thought was a touch sociopathic.
“Oh no, it’s not like that.” Ellie must’ve seen her and Fifi’s expressions, because she hurried to reassure them. “We stole the dogs. Puppies, actually. They weren’t being cared for properly, but now they’re all fat and happy and spoiled.”
At the explanation, Charlie relaxed a little. “Good. Okay, so speaking of an exorbitant amount of crime-ing, should we talk about our mom?”
Fifi was the only one who laughed at that, but Charlie didn’t mind. She was used to people not getting her jokes. The others nodded in agreement, though, so she held up the key she had been carrying on her at all times since she’d pulled it out of her mom’s closet rod.
“Our mom, Jane Pax, wants this key. We’ve made sure she’ll hear that we’ve found it, plus we led five treasure hunters to your little town, so word’ll get out about where we are too.”
Chris cleared his throat. “Five treasure hunters? I counted four.”
“Behind the dumpster, under the southeast evergreen, inside the VW Fox parked in front of the bank, and next to the taxidermy shop/liquor store’s propane tank,” Callum reeled off, and Chris gave a nod as he held up four fingers.
“You’ll have to look harder for Rhys,” Charlie said, feeling a little guilty for bringing the treasure hunters to Simpson. Because of that twinge, she offered them a tip. “He likes height. Check trees and rooftops.”
“Sorry for leading those guys here,” Fifi said, as if she’d read Charlie’s mind. “They likely won’t cause any trouble and should clear out as soon as we do.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Lou said. “It’s like a live-action Where’s Waldo.”
“What’s the timeline on this?” Callum asked, apparently not as entertained as his wife by the sudden influx of criminals.
Charlie met Fifi’s gaze again and had a short, silent conversation via expressions. “Two days, if we’re lucky,” she finally answered. “If it takes five, we’re pretty much screwed. Mom’s first court date is in four days.”
“So what do you need from us?” Ellie asked, and Charlie grinned at her before looking over at her sister.
“I’m starting to get why you like this town,” she said. “Where else would we find such a helpful murder club?”
***
The meeting lasted an hour, and people gradually left until just Lou, Charlie, Fifi, and Bennett remained in the coffee shop. Ian and Rory headed out with a fresh supply of coffee for the night-shift firefighters, and Callum mentioned needing to stop by the station quickly.
“He’s just going to search for that last treasure hunter,” Lou said after her husband had left. “I know that was driving him crazy.”
“He shouldn’t feel bad.” Charlie carefully zipped the key into her pocket. “Rhys is the stealthiest of that bunch.”
“Thanks for hosting, Lou,” Fifi said, standing up and stretching.
“No problem. I would’ve had us meet at our place, but Callum’s having the kitchen remodeled, so everything is everywhere. I’m tempted to join you guys in the honeymoon suite.”
“Even I’m not allowed in the honeymoon suite,” Charlie mock-complained, tossing a balled-up Post-it note at her sister.
Bennett caught the paper before it could hit its target and then launched it into the recycling bin across the room.
When the paper ball dropped into the bin, Charlie gave her brother-in-law an approving nod. “Smooth.”