Chapter 9 #2
When Chandra and Sally get the countdown, a doorbell rings incessantly, and Chandra stumbles onto set like she’s just woken up.
For the first time, I notice her pajamas are just like mine, but have the image of a woman’s head, wearing sunglasses and a crown all over them.
I glance at Sally, still off set, and see that her pajamas have a llama’s head, wearing sunglasses.
That’s pretty cute, actually, that they dressed us alike but different.
That’s definitely something families do. My family might have done that before—
Chandra pulls the door open, and a policewoman stands on the other side.
At the sight of the uniform, dread oozes from head to toe until everything about me is numb.
I’ve read this scene, so I know it’s when Chandra’s character, Lidia, finds out her sister was in a fatal accident.
Of course, I thought the idea of losing my aunt was sad, but I didn’t think about how seeing the scene play out would impact me.
Suddenly, I’m shaking all over and having such dramatic hot flashes, I think I might pass out.
“I’m sorry for the late visit, ma’am,” the officer character says.
Chandra, looking hesitant and a little afraid, replies, “How may I help you?”
It’s like I’m standing in the entryway of our old house all over again. It’s 4:12 in the afternoon and I’m expecting my dad home so we can shoot a new reel, but instead, a cop shows up.
“Are you Lidia Walter, ma’am?” the fake officer asks while I hear the very real officer of my past ask, “Are you Linda Quill?”
“Yes, I am.”
I’m barely aware of Sally shuffling onto the stage, her arms wrapped around her body. “Mom, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know, hon.” Chandra answers.
“Ma’am, I’m sorry to have to tell you this…”
It’s like I’m hearing it in stereo. The fake cop and the cop from my still too recent past speak the same words. It sounds like they’re shouting at me in an empty cavern. Their words echo and repeat over each other until it’s impossible to hear what’s being said, but I know.
“Cut!” Hank yells, snapping me back to the present. “Stella, where are y—”
But his words fall away when he looks at me. It’s then that I realize tears are streaming down my face. I’d pressed my hands to my ears, hoping to block out the noise. And my entire body is quaking.
One look at me and Remi’s eyes grow wide. She rushes over and wraps her arms around me, immediately shuffling me away from the chaos of the set, her tall body a physical shield between me and everyone else.
“Oh, little one, let’s get that makeup fixed,” she says, loud enough for people to hear, but I can tell the last thing she’s worried about is makeup. “We’ll just touch you right up.”
I hear murmuring behind Remi, but I don’t bother to look as I struggle to control the frantic thoughts in my brain. Remi pulls a tissue from her pocket like it’s a magician’s rabbit and dabs at my tears.
“Now, little one, whatever is going on right now, let it happen. We’ll get you fixed right up again when you’re done.”
I realize she actually doesn’t know about my dad.
It feels like she’s the only one on this planet who doesn’t, but maybe Hank doesn’t either, or he might have been a little more prepared for my reaction.
Maybe it’s just that Hank doesn’t know the details.
Doesn’t realize that the script was playing it out before me.
I shake my head as I fight to gather control.
I should have been more prepared too. I’ve read that scene a hundred times.
It made me sad the first dozen times, but then it was just a scene.
I didn’t realize seeing it, with a person in uniform, would bring that moment in time crashing back inside my head.
I take the tissue from Remi and finish drying my tears. Clearing my throat, I apologize, though she’s really not the person I should be apologizing to. “I’m fine now. I just…it caught me by surprise, is all.”
One of the millions of people who run around with a clipboard doing things I don’t understand steps up and whispers in Remi’s ear. She nods, face serious.
“They’re going to finish the scene without you.” Remi steers me toward the door. “We’ll go back to makeup and get you ready for your next scene.”
I balk. “They can’t do that. I’m in the scene. How can they finish without me?”
“It’s a simple rewrite. You’re no longer in this scene.”
“No. No.” My grief is overshadowed by concern. “They don’t have to do that.” I’m fighting to turn away from Remi, but her large hands wrapped around my upper arms propel me toward the exit. “I can do this.”
Shaking her head, she reaches to open the door and pushes me through. “Arabelle, this is not an important scene for your character. You don’t need to be in it.”
Her use of my name has me acquiescing more than anything. “But our cute matching pajamas.”
Remi’s shaking her head again, but now I’m walking alongside her willingly, so she just has her long arm draped over my shoulders. “So, before I put a fresh face on you, would you like to talk about what just happened?”
I draw in a deep breath and hold it as I consider telling her about Dad. I let my breath out in a huff. “Not really.”
She draws me closer until I’m leaning against her.
I wrap my arm around her waist and lean my head on her shoulder.
The physical contact feels fantastic. I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I felt someone else’s warmth, or how badly I needed a hug.
We walk back to makeup in silence, but by the time we get there, I feel the shock of the scene lifting away.