Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
“I see you finally took my advice and attacked Crispin with your mouth.” Glory says as she climbs into bed with me.
I let my head hit the wall I’m leaning on. “And now I’m obsessed. It’s literally all I want to do. Twenty-four/seven. Three six five.”
“Guh. You are so lucky.”
I shake my head and stare up at my ceiling. “I feel like I’m in the longest, strangest dream ever. I keep thinking I’ll wake up.”
“He’s incredibly kind. I mean, obviously. He flew me out here to surprise you because he said you missed me so much and he hated to see you sad.”
I arch my brows. “That’s what he said?”
Glory nods. “He was just going to fly me out for the heck of it. I’m the one who told him to make it a birthday party.”
“Oh my gosh, it seemed so random when he offered to have a party for me. That’s why.” I shake my head and laugh humorlessly. “I can’t believe I thought he was a conceited jerk when I first met him. He’s one of the most thoughtful and generous people I’ve ever met. How did I not see that?”
Glory shrugs, eyeing her bowl of cake and ice cream to find the perfect next scoop. I arranged for the caterers to donate the exorbitant amount of leftovers to a homeless shelter, but I kept the cake and ice cream. “He’s an actor. He was putting on a persona.”
I think about it and recognize the truth in Glory’s statement. “It’s strange how lonely and sociable he is.”
She eyes me. “What do you mean?”
“He’s had to guard his heart because of all the people who have taken advantage of him over the years, so he doesn’t have a lot of close friends. But he makes friends with absolutely everybody. He’s still friends with a restaurant owner who catered a movie he did when he was fifteen.”
“A restaurant owner. You mean, like an adult?”
“Yeah. He says he’s always been surrounded by adults and that it’s easier now that he is one himself.”
“That’s kind of sad.” Glory pokes her spoon into her bowl as she thinks about it.
“Yet, he’s always had one hundred percent support from his family. So, that’s like a safety net of sorts. It has to be why he’s remained so kind and thoughtful.”
Glory puts her bowl aside and grabs my hand. “I’m sorry you lost that safety net.”
I wrap my other hand over hers so she can feel what a lifeline she’s been for me.
“Of course, I am too. But, I can’t say that this past year hasn’t taught me some huge lessons I wouldn’t have learned otherwise.
And I’ve been exposed to so many new experiences.
And now I’m dating Crispin Moore.” I smile at my friend. “For a sucky year, it wasn’t all bad.”
“You’re so strong, Ari. Incredibly strong.”
“I don’t feel strong. I feel…I felt lost.” I pick at the comforter, while images from the last year, the first time I had to back up the trailer and couldn’t figure out which direction to turn the steering wheel, collection notices for bills from back home that I hadn’t even known to pay that eventually caught up to us, and Mom curled up in her dark room twenty-four hours a day.
“I just kept going because I knew if I stopped, it would all crash into me. But I didn’t know what I was doing.
I wasn’t being strong at all. I was barely treading water.
And on the set! When I delivered those stupid, corny lines they originally wrote for me, I thought, ‘I left everything behind for this?’”
Glory grabs my hand and lays her head on my shoulder.
“But that is being strong, Ari. That’s surviving.
You could’ve crawled into bed with your mom and waited for the bank to collect the house.
I don’t think anyone would have been surprised if you just did nothing.
Hung out at home, attended school to get your diploma, and then flipped burgers for a living.
Your life was upended, and there’s no script on how to handle it. ”
I raise an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure there are plenty of scripts focusing on a person recovering from grief.”
She slaps my thigh, covered with the thick quilt. “Fine, there’s no manual then. There’s no timeline on grief or recovery.”
My head hits the wall behind me with a hollow thunk. “But to some people, there is. I’ve seen it on the set as well as in the comments on my site. Sometimes, when people see evidence that I’m still grieving, they say the cruelest stuff. It hasn’t even been a year yet.”
“I’m sorry, Ari. Some people are very insensitive. It’s none of their dang business if you grieve for the rest of your life!”
“Of course I’m going to grieve for the rest of my life. I’ll never stop missing him. If he lived until he was one hundred and two, I still would have missed him after he left. Forever. That’s a part of loving someone.”
“Yes, of course. Now I’m being insensitive.” Glory snuggles closer and squeezes my hand.
“Not at all. I would never describe you as insensitive. You have been there for me through all of it. Your way may not be super conventional at times, but you’ve always had my best interests at heart. Glory, you’ve been a major lifeline this year.”
“I’m glad. Sometimes I felt pretty helpless. I’m so glad you had Sally and Chandra, too. They’ve really helped, haven’t they?”
“Oh my goodness, so much. Chandra feels like she’s my aunt too. And the support and care she’s shown Mom.” I shake my head. “And sometimes I think Sally and I really are sisters separated at birth.”
“Do you wish I wasn’t here so you could still be sucking face with Crispin?”
“While I now know that sucking face with him is, indeed, a favorite activity of mine, I’m beyond ecstatic to have you here to see the movie wrap. I can’t believe we’re finishing up this week. I’m feeling a little emotional.”
“Will you do another?”
“Movie?” At her nod, I scoff. “Who says I’ll be offered another role?”
“You could get an agent. You could audition for parts. You could do this, Ari. You’re good at it.”
I pull away so that I can look at her, my eyes wide with wonder. “I’ve literally never considered trying.”
She sits up, rolling her eyes. “You’ll just wait for parts to be handed to you since you were discovered.”
“Well, I didn’t really think that was likely to happen either, but what an idiot I am to not realize I could actively try to make a career out of this.”
“Do you want to?” Glory pulls her knees up and wraps her arms around them.
I shake my head. “I really don’t know. I love to make people laugh, and it would be amazing to be able to do that for a living. But this industry is so cutthroat.”
“You have Crispin and Sally to help you navigate it. And if you keep your expectations realistic and your feet firmly planted on the ground, I think you could do it without losing yourself.” She tips her head at me. “You’re a very practical person.”
“I’ll give it some thought. I’ll start school shortly after the film wraps.” I rub my forehead. “I’m not looking forward to going to a new school my senior year. But at least it’s only for one year.”
“You’ll make tons of new friends and forget about me.”
“Never!”
“Good,” Glory grins. “Because I’m moving out here with you next summer.”
“Are you serious? Don’t get my hopes up just to tell me you’re kidding.”
“Sally says there are tons of great colleges out here. I’m going to make a list and apply to every one of them. But I’m going to end up out here with you no matter what. So, remember that when you get super famous. You still have to live with me.”
I laugh. “Not likely to happen, but deal.”
Glory yawns.
“Oh my gosh, you must be exhausted. It’s like two in the morning for you.”
We scoot down in the bed so that we’re lying on our sides facing each other.
“Ari, I’m so proud of you. Not just for making it through, but for blazing a new path and finding your own way.”
“Thanks, Glory.”
We fall asleep holding hands.