Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
One Month Later
It was hard to believe that her life was changing so fast.
She blamed it on Walker.
She didn't really, but it was fun to poke at him physically and verbally and tell him that.
He'd roll his eyes, or he'd pull her into his lap and ask her, "How can I make it up to you?"
By the time she caught her breath, they'd be sprawled in bed, his arms securely around her and her heart pounding in her chest.
He wasn't the only one who was changing.
She just wasn't sure how much she could hide when it came to her worries.
Oh, she knew that Walker would support her.
As much as people saw him as a ladies’ man, he was remarkably dedicated and 'zoned in' on her moods and temperament.
She doubted that she'd have realized it if they hadn't spent so much time together after she was shot.
Even that morning when she'd dressed to go into the station for a meeting with her boss, Walker had stopped her at the door of his duplex and pulled her back in for a kiss that left her a little shaky on her feet. So shaky that he walked her down to her car and gave her another kiss before he closed the door.
Letting out a breath, she looked at her apartment and barely resisted the urge to throw her keys across the room.
She did kick off her heels.
One.
By.
One.
Smiling when one hit the brick wall beside her TV.
She dragged in one breath after another, feeling herself get a little lightheaded.
She dropped her head back and screamed.
"Fuck!"
"Fuck him!"
"Fuck it!"
She took in one last breath.
"Fuck me!"
Then all of her bluster fell away, and she dropped down to the floor, her purse tipping over, her phone barely held in her grasp.
She shook her head and sighed.
Victor Rhames.
He'd never liked her.
But she never thought that he'd hated her.
She had more than a feeling now. She'd seen the light of glee in his eyes when he'd told her to pack her stuff and leave.
She'd been on the verge of tears, sitting there, across from him, her heart pounding in her chest.
Her whole world fell apart.
Burst into a shower of jagged pieces inside of her.
Cutting her deep.
She'd heard of the Death of a Thousand Cuts, but that was over time. Drawn out torture.
That meeting had cut her a thousand times in less than fifteen minutes.
How she'd walked out of the office without screaming, she didn't know.
What was left of her things that she'd kept at the station was in a box in the back of her car.
She didn't want to take the box out. As long as it was in her car, she wasn't quite giving up.
Not yet.
Kennedy huffed out a breath and grumbled deep in her chest.
"I'm not giving up. There has to be a next step."
A knock at the door made her cringe. She wasn't ready to see anyone.
She didn't even want to see Walker.
She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.
The knocking started again, and she touched her chin to her knees, willing them to go away.
"Kennedy?"
The voice was familiar, but not one she could name off the top of her head.
"Kennedy? It's Detective Rafferty! Jacob? Walker's friend."
She knew who it was, but she didn't want to talk.
"Kennedy?"
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her legs, willing him to go away.
"Kenn-"
She tensed and held herself still.
His voice had cut off.
She hoped that meant that he'd moved way.
The lock on the front door clicked and the doorknob turned.
Kennedy bit the inside of her cheek when she remembered she hadn't set any of the other locks or alarms she had in her apartment.
Not that it would have made much of a difference.
Because the man who stepped into her apartment wasn't Jacob Rafferty.
It was Walker Ashley.
"Dee?"
She knew she couldn't hide her face from him. He'd get his way and see her blotchy skin and odd color.
Walker Ashley let her have her feelings, but he didn't let her hide, which was why-
"You didn't come to my place after work."
Letting out a breath she looked up at him. "Because I needed to be alone."
Jacob, who'd just stepped inside her apartment looked from her face to Walker's, pointing at the hallway.
"Yes, thank you." "Come in and shut the damn door."
Kennedy glared at Walker, and he raised a brow at her.
"You want to tell me what's going on?'
If only he didn't sound so... reasonable.
"Not really."
Jacob looked between them, removing his glasses and wiping the lenses on the fabric of his shirt. "I'm not all that eager to be in the middle of what you two are dancing around with each other. There's a reason I'm single."
Walker turned his hardened gaze at the other detective. "You're single because you work too damn much, Jake. But," he turned his gaze to her and Kennedy looked back at him, "maybe we ought to go with your news first and then I'll talk to Dee alone after you go back to your apartment."
"Aww thanks, dad." Jacob shook his head and looked at her. "Sorry, Kennedy. I wanted to give you both an update on my investigation-"
"Our investigation."
Kennedy smiled at that. The two men did like to use their words. It was one thing that they all saw eye to eye on.
Words mattered.
Kennedy gestured at the table which was half covered with things. There was space on it for food and people, but only enough for two. She shifted her position on the floor and when she was about to get up, a hand came into her vision.
"Let me help you, Dee."
She wasn't about to fight him on a hand up from the floor.
She took his hand, and he almost lifted her to her feet.
Her heart lifted and she almost felt it in her chest.
When her feet touched the floor, she felt better, standing up, her feet under her.
She gave Walker a smile. "Thanks."
He pulled her closer, stepping into him.
Walker wrapped an arm around her body and leaned in until his cheek was against hers.
"Later, when he's gone, we'll get to whatever... whatever this is."
She tensed, not sure how he meant that.
He pressed a kiss on her cheek. "We're going to get through this, Dee. You and me. That's what's going to happen. I promise you."
I promise you.
Those words had an effect on her.
They helped wiggle past the hard shell she'd pulled up around herself and went to work on the cracks.
No, she didn't want to blubber on his shoulder, but she had a feeling that Walker would be the kind of guy she'd want beside her when she was struggling through this.
She nodded and met his gaze. "Later. I don't want to talk about it in front of Detective Rafferty."
"Okay." He smiled. "I get it."
He tipped his head toward the table. "Come on. Let's hear what he was to say and then you can tell me what's got you so upset you forgot you were coming to my place tonight."
She frowned at him. "Your place?"
Walker lifted a hand and cupped the side of her face. "Later."
She walked with him to the table and tried not to yelp when he pulled her down with him onto his lap.
Kennedy poked him in the chest. "I can get another chair.”
Walker shook his head. "No time. Just let Jacob get out what he needs to say, and we'll figure out the rest later."
Kennedy settled as well as she could.
It helped that Walker was holding her with one arm around her, the other hand on the dining table.
Jacob opened the portfolio that he carried with him, unzipping it before he laid it open on the table. "There's something that we need to start with."
Kennedy heard Jacob's tone and held her breath.
"Jerzek's retirement has been pushed back."
Kennedy shook her head. "But you were both hoping that it would be easier to investigate him once he was retired."
Walker nodded. "That was the idea."
Jacob tapped his fingers on the table. "I'm trying to get to the heart of this. So far no one is saying where the information is coming from. It doesn't seem like it’s an order from the brass and I haven't heard anything from the man himself."
"Like he'd tell us anything," Walker grumbled.
"I heard about it from Kate."
Walker's eyes widened. "I'll call her later and ask how she found out."
Jacob nodded. "I think we should bring her into the circle."
Walker hesitated. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Kennedy looked down at him and when he turned to look at her, she narrowed her gaze and frowned a little. "You trust her, right?"
Walker startled. "Dee," he rubbed his hand along her hip and thigh. "I'd trust Kate with my life, but there is a chance that this might blow back on her if we can't prove what we think happened, happened."
She nodded, but she sighed softly. "I think you should ask her if she wants to be involved. I don't know Kate as well as you do, Walker, but I think she knows her own mind on things. There's a good chance that she might get upset at you for not involving her."
Walker smiled. "I think you might be right."
Jacob continued. "His retirement is pushed back for another few months. I did hear some scuttlebutt that the detective they were bringing in to replace him isn't available."
"Is that a good thing?"
Walker heard Kennedy's question, but he also could feel how worried she was. It wasn't just that he had her on his lap that told him that.
Her voice was crazy expressive on and off camera.
Convincing when she needed to be. She could impart information and get people to sit up and take notice.
This? The slight tremor in her voice.
The hitch in her breath.
It spoke volumes.
He put his hand on her thigh.
"It could be either way. With him sticking around for a bit, we can keep a better eye on him. We could watch him closely."
"The other side is," Jacob shook his head, "we'll have to be more careful digging through his records. There are people who might alert him to any records we pull."
Kennedy leaned against his chest. "Those people would alert him even if he was retired. When you start looking into an officer, you'll make waves somehow. People find out."
He shared a look with Jacob. The two had already discussed this, but then again, they already knew what was likely to happen. It's why they hadn't read Kate into the matter yet. "We're going to see what we can find out without making too many ripples in the pond."
Kennedy looked at him with a grin across her face. "That's a great way to describe it."
Damn, a little bit of praise from Kennedy and he was getting a little too mushy inside.
It was good that Kate wasn't there.
She'd just give him crap.
He wouldn't mind much.
He'd given her plenty of shit about Rock owning her ass.
"Hey," Kennedy smoothed her hand over his face, "are you paying attention?"
He winked at her. "Always to you."
"Shit."
Walker looked at Jacob and shook his head. "I'm good, man. I'm with you."
Jacob must have seen something in his eyes, nodding. "I can ask Molly to look into the files on her end."
Kennedy perked up at the same time he did. "Molly?"
Jacob looked up at the ceiling before meeting their collective gaze. "Molly transcribes my notes. There are a number of detectives in the CCPD who have transcribers. It saves us time."
Walker felt Kennedy shift and looked up to catch her gaze. "No," he answered the question he saw in her eyes. "I don't have one. I don't like other people sticking their fingers in my pie."
He could see Jacob grimacing at his word choice.
Kennedy didn't have the same reaction, she was thinking it through. "I bet you're a bit of a control freak, too."
He shrugged, smiling. "Yeah."
Kennedy looked at Jacob. "You really trust her."
Jacob nodded. "She's the best. I couldn't clear as many cases if it wasn't for her. Looking at the notes after dictating them really helps. It's like I'm seeing it with fresh eyes again. She doesn't transcribe for Jerzek. I know that for certain."
"But you think you can trust her to keep this quiet?"
Jacob dropped his chin and looked Walker square in the eye. "I'd trust her with my life."
That made an impression on Walker.
Jacob was a good man. And a damn good detective.
If he said he could trust Molly. They all could.
Jacob didn't make comments like that lightly.
If there was one thing, he was serious about, it was his job.
Oh, he'd do anything for his little sister, but his job? His job was everything to him.
He meant what he said.
"Okay," Walker agreed. "Talk to Molly."
Jacob nodded and an almost smile touched his lips.
Yeah. Molly might work with him. Or for him, but there was more to Jacob's feelings for Molly than he was letting on.
Walker nodded. If he was willing to talk to her and bring her into the circle on this, he really had to trust her, but Walker wondered how Jacob would react if Molly's involvement got dangerous.
He looked up at Kennedy and took in the beauty of her face.
And her heart.
It had already gotten dangerous for her.
Damn.
Suddenly, he needed to get her alone.
Kennedy shifted on his lap and her hip bumped up against the ring box in his pocket and he froze.
Her eyes widened and he fought off a smile.
The look she gave him next said that she'd misunderstood what she'd felt.
Her cheeks were bright red.
Yeah. He'd get to that, but he wondered if this was the right time to ask her.
"Okay. I'm going to head back to my apartment and call Molly."
Kennedy shifted again, turning toward Jacob. "Don't you think you should go and see her?"
Jacob stood and zippered his portfolio. "I don't think this is the right time."
Kennedy started to get up and Walker wasn't sure that he should let her given that her movements on his lap, even as minimal as they were, had created a bit of an issue.
He decided to get up with her, keeping her in front of him, at least enough that he could use her to block a certain part of his anatomy.
Walker gave Jacob a look and saw a hint of something in the other man's gaze. "You have met her, right?"
Jacob's jaw tensed and the breath he drew into his lungs was short.
"You've never met her?"
Kennedy reached back and grabbed his forearm. She gave him a squeeze and he knew she was telling him to back off, but he needed more information.
"I trust her, Walker."
Walker narrowed his eyes at his friend, trying to see beyond his hesitation.
"I trust her with my life."
Walker blew out a breath.
"Walker?"
He lifted a brow at his friend. "Yeah?"
"I mean it."
"Okay, then."
It mattered, Walker realized. Jacob didn't ask for much from him.
Hardly anything.
But he was asking for support. Asking for him to believe.
To take his word for gospel.
Walker nodded. "I get it. She's important to you."
Jacob looked down at the portfolio in his hands. "She's... Yeah. She's important."
Walker felt Kennedy's hand tighten on him and he leaned in to press a kiss on the back of her head. Trying to tell her it was okay.
Because it was.
He had her.
And he'd do whatever it took to make sure he kept her safe.
He'd trust Jacob because he just did.
If there was someone he'd want at his back from the other detectives, it was Jacob.
The man didn't know how to fail.
His clearance rate on his cases was the best in the CCPD.
Maybe there was a reason that he used a transcriber.
It had been offered to Walker, too, but he was too much of a control freak on his notes.
Sigh.
"Let me know how it goes after you call Molly. When this is done and over-"
Jacob shook his head.
"You'll have to invite her along to celebrate with Kennedy and me."
Jacob's laugh was more of a cough. "Like I said, we've never met."
"Come on, Jake, I-"
"He's going to leave it at that." Kennedy stepped away from him and walked up to Jacob. She put her hand on his arm and Walker tensed up, ready to take a step forward, but he stood there.
He stood there and watched Kennedy give his friend a kiss on the cheek.
The kiss wasn't the only thing she did.
She said something to Jacob.
What? He had no idea.
But it made his friend smile.
And that settled in Walker's chest in a strange way.
He didn't have a problem with either of them, in fact, it felt... good to have Kennedy reaching out to his friend.
Walker knew he wasn't all that good at doing those kinds of things. Offering comfort.
He was always ready to square up and have his friend's back.
Comfort?
He could work on it. He could learn from Kennedy.
But for the moment, he had her to smooth things over.
Jacob left and Kennedy locked the door behind him, setting all of the locks and the security system.
She turned to look back at him.
"Before you say anything," she looked him square in the eye. "If I'd set them all you wouldn't have been able to break into my apartment."
He raised his brows at her. "Break in? I have a key."
She smiled at him.
"I really wanted to be alone for a little while. Okay?"
"What's going on?"
She looked at Walker and saw his intentions in his eyes.
He wasn't going to let her go on without talking about what was bothering her.
It was a bit of a pain in her butt, but in a way, she was happy to just say it and get it out there.
"Mister Rhames fired me today."
Walker narrowed his gaze at her and threw up his hands. "That asshole!"
She saw and heard how upset he was.
And honestly, it made her smile.
"We're getting a lawyer."
That shocked her. "A lawyer?"
He gestured at her. "Of course! Firing you? That's a shit decision! You're their best. Everyone in town knows who you are. Those people behind the desk? I bet most people couldn't pick them out of a line-up. But I think they'd know you."
"I think you're biased, but I love you for it."
His eyes darkened. "We can fight this."
She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his middle, turning her head to place her cheek on his chest. "I'm not ready to fight."
"What?"
Instead of taking hold of her and setting her back, Walker pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her.
"Kennedy, what's going on?"
She tightened her hold on him listening to the beat of his heart under her ear. "I'm still upset about losing my job, Walker. I am. I'm just not sure I want to go back to WCCN."
He went silent and then a few moments later, she felt his hand moving up and down her back.
She hummed at his gentle touch and leaned in closer. It felt like she was just a moment of time from melting right into him.
"I'm not sure what you'll think about it. I certainly don't understand it myself."
"What was the reason he gave you?"
She tipped her head back and looked at him. "That's the thing. I'm not all that sure. Once he said I was fired, he kept talking but I didn't have the bandwidth to listen to him at that point. I was waiting for the floor to open up and swallow me whole."
"What's going on?"
"He's never liked me much. He didn't even hire me. It was a temporary manager who did it while he was on vacation in Europe. He came to talk to me when he came back to work. Told me I wasn't hard hitting enough for him. But I always wondered why he wanted someone who covered school band competitions, community gardens, and the like wasn't exactly what anyone would call hard hitting.
"And now he said he didn't like the recent bent of some of my stories. That I was putting my nose into things that were better covered by-"
"Hard hitting reporters?"
She heard the edge in Walker's voice and knew that he was just as confused as she was.
"If I did go back, I feel like it would be like digging into the sand of dune. It would just fill in over and over again. No matter what I do. What stories I cover. All of it would just be a never ending source of... of suck as far as WCCN would consider it."
She saw the way Walker looked at her, almost smiling.
"Suck?"
She shrugged. "I think if I delved into serious reporting and by some miracle, I got a Peabody Award, it would still be... wanting."
His hand moved to her hip. "I can see what you're saying."
"So, I need to figure out what I want to do instead of going crazy and try to get my job back."
She was almost about to drift off into a bit of a dream with his warm hands on her.
"You keep touching me like that," she murmured to him, "I won't even care about my job. Your hands... are magic."
"I'd be happy to take your mind off of this, but most importantly, I want you to make sure that you take the time you need to, to think about it."
He moved back from her, lifting his hands to cup her face.
"You are amazing at what you do, Dee. If Victor Rhames doesn't get that, yeah, I can see why you wouldn't want to work there again."
She smiled at him. "WCCN is big here in Center City. The biggest. I don't think I'd have better luck at any of the other channels. They've all got full rosters."
Hearing her talk, he could feel the pain she was feeling.
Fuck, he could feel it in every inch of her body.
He'd never cared so much about someone outside of his family.
His hand lowered to his pocket, feeling the hard shell of the ring box.
Walker looked around the room and he wondered if this should be the place.
"Walker?"
He looked at Kennedy and saw the concern in her eyes.
"Are you okay?"
Fuck.
Here she'd just lost her job, and she was worried about him.
He could count on a few fingers the number of people who worried about him. Most people thought he was a big asshole who could and would take on the world.
They didn't think he had feelings.
Let alone tender ones.
"Walker?"
She moved closer, impossibly closer, and looked up into his face, her hands moving over his arms and his shoulders.
"Are you okay? Did something happen?"
"You're so damn sweet."
She frowned at him. "What?"
"You," he grabbed her hips, and pulled her flush against his body, "are so damn sweet, Kennedy Heart."
She shook her head. "What's wrong? You're... Something's wrong."
"No." He shook his head. "Nothing's wrong, Dee."
She raised a brow at him.
Obviously, she didn't believe him.
He was about to be barraged with questions rivaling a thorough interrogation.
And that was when he realized that her apartment may not be the right place. There likely wasn't going to be a right place.
Not ever.
But, there was a right person.
And fuck him sideways.
Kennedy Heart was the right person.
"You should know..."
Her eyes narrowed at him and he smiled, loving every expression in her impressive arsenal.
"That I like your name."
She lowered her chin and looked at him as if he might be a little crazy.
"I think Heart pretty much covers it when it comes to you, baby."
She leaned back a little. "Are you feeling okay?"
He smiled broadly enough that he was probably showing teeth.
And Kennedy?
She looked... unnerved.
"Should I call Roan?"
Walker laughed out loud.
"My brother?" He shook his head. "No thank you. If you call him over here, he's just going to get an eyeful."
She started to lift a hand, likely to feel his forehead for fever.
He caught it and kissed her palm. "Because I intend to strip you naked to seal the deal."
Kennedy shook her head like she was trying to clear her thoughts.
"The deal?"
He nodded and lowered her right hand to pick up her left in his.
"You, Kennedy Heart, are as wonderful as you are frustrating. As beautiful as you are fierce. And I can't believe you let me close enough to your soul that I got to feel its warmth. I don't know how you fell in love with me, but I'm not going to let you out of it."
He freed the ring box from his pocket and flicked open the top as he got down on one knee.
"You are everything I love and I still have no idea how I got so damn lucky."
He held up the box so she could see the blue sapphire heart surrounded by a fringe of baguette and round diamonds making it look like it was surrounded in lace.
"Oh, Walker... it's... it's so beautiful."
"The sapphire was my grandmother's. My mom sent it to me when I called her."
"You... You told your mother?"
"I might be an unmitigated ass on a good day, but I also know how amazing you are. I was thrilled to know that there's hope for me, yet."
"Walker," she chided, "you need to be nicer to yourself."
"I am," he shot back, "I'm marrying you. That's the best thing I could do for me."
"Then I guess I should say yes."
He looked up at her with a curious gaze. "Guess?"
Her shoulders sagged as she shook her head. "Honey, you are a hard man to like, but an easy man to love. At least for me."
He smiled at the sound of her voice. He loved the way she sounded when she was talking to him, showing her love.
"Of course I'm going to marry you. I just... I just lost my job! Are you sure you want to wade into this with me? What if I don't find another one? What if-"
"Baby," he stood up and pulled the ring from the velvet bed it was sandwiched in, "I held you in my arms and watched you bleed. I prayed while you were in surgery and you can ask my mother, that's not me... before. But it's me now.
"I know how precious you are. Job or no job. This is it, Dee. You and me. Whatever happens with work happens, but if there's one thing I'm sure about, it's that you're going to end up helping people."
"How can you be so sure?"
It killed him that she sounded... worried. Shaken.
"You help people, Dee. That's who you are. I know you help me. You make me better every damn second of the day. And I'm here to support you while you figure out how to help others."
Her eyes were shining with tears as she held out her hand.
Walker slipped the ring on her finger and felt something swell in his chest.
His heart.
"Now," he lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles just shy of the ring, looking up at her gorgeous face, "can I strip you down and fuck you senseless?"
She blushed.
Her cheeks to her temples.
And he bet there was a pretty blush across her chests to the tops of her breasts.
"Is that a yes?"
"Oh, yeah," she nodded. "That's a yes."
He scooped her up and over his shoulder, making her laugh.
With his arm across the backs of her thighs he headed for her bed, loving every second of the anticipation because he finally had what he needed in his life.
Her.