2. Homecoming
CHAPTER TWO
Homecoming
B rad was there to greet her at the gate, his sly half-smile pinned to his face. It made him look more like her younger brother, not one three years her senior. He held a homemade sign that read, “Welcome Home, Paigey-poo.” She smirked and flipped him the bird as she walked out of security, earning a laugh as he jogged up to meet her.
He wore his usual—jeans, cowboy boots, and a V-neck T-shirt that showed off how fit he’d become. He’d always been a runner, but he must’ve started lifting weights lately. It made her happy to see him taking care of himself, physically at least. Though it did nothing to assuage the pang of guilt at the come-to-Jesus talk brewing beneath her calm exterior.
“There’s my baby sister,” he said, a laugh escaping from his chest as he picked her up and twirled her like a rag doll. She’d always been tinier than him, than every member of her family, but yeah, he’d grown stronger.
“I wouldn’t call attention to the fact that you’re old, Brad,” she teased when he let her back down, playfully reaching up to punch his shoulder.
“Hey, there, sis. You’ve been back on American soil for less than five minutes. Be nice or I’ll have you flown right back to the islands.” Paige rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue.
“Where’s Mom? I thought her email said she was coming, not that I’m not way happier to see you.” She meant that last part. She and her mom had never been close, and the idea of a half-hour trek home with her was more than Paige wanted to tackle.
“Something came up. We’ll see her in a bit.”
“Whew. At least now I can escape the endless barrage of ‘why don’t you settle down somewhere, Paige,’ or ‘you’re never going to find a husband if you keep gallivanting all over the world, Paige.’”
“Who says I’m not going to give you the same speech?”
Paige giggled and hoisted her rucksack over her shoulder.
“You got anything else?” Brad asked her.
“Nope. You know me; if it doesn’t fit on my back, it doesn’t come.”
“That sounds like a kinky movie title,” Brad said, earning another playful nudge. “You shipped your books, didn’t you?” She shrugged, bit her lip. Her brother got her, she’d give him that.
He snatched the ruck from her back and walked with her out of the baggage claim area, headed towards the elevators that would take them to parking.
“It’s good to see you, big brother,” Paige said, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes, meaning every word. Brad was one of the only people who could make her homesick, wistful of a time when they had been inseparable, and the idea of home still included her parents and their vast expanse of land.
It had only taken her until fourteen to realize just how small the farm really was. At sixteen, that included the state and entire southwest. By college, it was all her parents could do to convince her to go to a university in the U.S. She’d obliged since they helped her foot the bill, but for medical school, she hadn’t applied anywhere outside of Europe.
“You too, twerp.” He ruffled her short, spiky hair, which didn’t do much with all the product in it.
“So, how’s the book coming along?” Paige asked.
“Good, actually. I’ve got the first draft almost done and am looking for readers if you have time this trip,” he told her.
“You mean besides Dad?” she asked.
“Yeah, he’s a given. He’s only called every day to see how the writing’s going.” Their dad, Alan, was a self-professed crime novel aficionado and had gone full fanboy when Brad confessed he was writing in that genre.
“But yeah, I’m in. I’ve always wanted to know what goes on in that pea-brain of yours,” she teased.
“Wow, the islands changed you. You got mean, girl.” He laughed, but his words scraped at the formerly rough edges around her heart that the island had changed, smoothed over.
“I did not.”
“Ahem, all evidence points to the contrary, lil sis.”
“Sorry,” she said. “I’d love to read whatever you write; you know that. I used to beg to read your short stories in high school, remember?”
“I do. I also remember you stole my diary freshman year because you ‘wanted to read my stories.’” Paige laughed. She forgot how easy life back home could be, with Brad at least.
They got to a small ’04 Subaru, and Brad stopped. Paige cringed, her hands on her hips, her nose scrunched up like she’d stepped in dog poop, or worse.
“Don’t tell me you’re still driving this POS,” she demanded.
“What else would I be driving?” he asked, opening the trunk and shoving Paige’s oversized pack inside. He wouldn’t meet her steely gaze, though.
“I thought you were saving up for a truck?” she asked as he opened the passenger side door for her and made his way around to the driver’s seat.
“I was, but Julia wanted to upgrade her car since she drives farther to work, so we’re doing that for now. I can always get a truck.”
“You two didn’t elope while I was gone, did you?” Paige asked, only half-kidding.
“No, why?” Brad asked her. He turned the key, but the car wouldn’t turn over. Paige bit down hard on her tongue until finally, the car sputtered to life and Brad backed out of his spot. She tasted the metallic tinge of blood and ran her finger along a small nick in her skin from biting down too hard.
“Because let her get her own vehicle. She’s the one who keeps putting off an engagement, let alone a marriage. Why the hell are you paying for her new car? Especially when she only works part time.” There it was. Paige had opened the floodgates. They were talking about Julia now, whether or not Brad wanted to.
He looked down at his wrist, at an old Timex that he used for running in college. “Wow. I’m impressed. You made it nine minutes and fifteen seconds before you started in on her.”
“Are you telling me you’re happy? Because if you are, I’ll drop it, I swear.”
Brad looked at her sideways, keeping his eyes on the road. His smirk said he didn’t believe her for a second. She would have laughed, if it wouldn’t have changed the moment. She needed to get this off her chest now, in the car, so she could enjoy the rest of her week with him and her parents.
“I’m paying for her car because she’s been patient with me while I pursue writing.”
He avoided her question about whether or not he was happy. Interesting.
“Bullshit,” Paige said. Brad looked over at her, his mouth open wide. “Watch the road,” she added.
“Excuse me? What do you mean, ‘bullshit’?” His knuckles went white on the steering wheel. “Paige, be careful here,” he warned her.
“I’m not trying to be a dick, Brad, but she’s taking you for all you’re worth. While she’s barely contributing to the heating bill in summer with her sheet-folding, you’re working full time, year-round, and writing on the side trying to pursue your dreams. You run, you teach, you volunteer, you write, and she clocks a few hours chatting with customers. Then, at the end of the day, you cook her dinner, am I right? All of that leaves her plenty of time to eviscerate you online. Am I wrong, Brad?” Whew. She was out of breath.
“Jesus, Paige. You’re home ten minutes and you’re already telling me how fucked up my life is, how I need to break up with the woman I’ve been with for almost fifteen years. Do you ever just calm the hell down? Can we ever just enjoy each other for a minute without you having to change something about me?” Brad ran his hands through his hair, which she just noticed had grown longer. He hadn’t cut it since she’d left for Turks apparently. She hated that before she’d paid attention to the man sitting beside her, she’d tried to fix him. It had always been her fatal flaw. No one was ever good enough.
“I’m sorry, Brad.” She meant that, too. She wished she could go back on the plane and start over.
“But…” He made an exaggerated flourish with his hands, sarcastically encouraging her to continue.
“But nothing. I’m sorry. I like the hair, by the way,” she told him with another shrug. It was the best apology she could muster. Luckily, Brad understood that kind of thing wasn’t her strong suit. He was the emotional, invested sibling, not her. It didn’t mean that she didn’t care, she just couldn’t figure out how to show it.
“Thanks,” he said. Her racing heart slowed down when the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. “I’m seeing how I like the Thor look that seems to be all the rage these days.”
Paige opened her mouth to reply but Brad held up his hand, a tic they’d all picked up from Marge, their mom.
“Before you get mean again and comment on my lack of Thor-like muscles, I want to stop you. Somewhere in there,” he said, tapping her on the head, “is my sweet, loving sister who used to say such kind things to everyone she met. Find her again, please? Preferably in the next few minutes before I’ll be forced to make you walk the rest of the way home.” He smiled, but his words cut Paige. She was being a world-class bitch right now, but she didn’t know why.
She was happy to be home even though it was only temporary, or rather, especially because it was temporary, but she was anxious, too. This was the first trip home where she didn’t have at least some idea of what came next, and even though she was nothing if not spontaneous, she always had an exit strategy. Her personal hell would be sitting, stagnant, no impending travel on her horizon, no work she could sink her teeth into, on her parents’ farm for months on end.
“I’ve been horrible, haven’t I?”
“It’s fine, kiddo. I just haven’t seen you like this before. You okay?”
“I am. Well, at least I think I am. I just don’t have a clue where I’m headed.”
“Metaphorically?” Brad asked, poking Paige in the arm teasingly.
“Ha ha. Medicine is important work, and practicing fulfills me in a way that I never thought I’d feel from anything but traveling, but I still have so much to see.”
“So, go see it.”
“Easy for you to say. Finding practices that want a physician for a year or less outside of DWB is damn near impossible.”
“Why’d you leave Turks, then? Or DWB?” he asked her, referring to her two years just after medical school when she’d worked for Doctors Without Borders.
“I don’t know, honestly. I got restless, I guess. I felt like something was missing.”
“Hmm.”
“You mean hmm as in ‘you’ve heard that from me before’?” Her brother had the good sense to just smile. She nudged his shoulder. “I know. I just want to move on before I start to resent where I’m at. To leave before a place gets stale, before I get stale.”
“Sounds healthy.”
“Now who’s being mean?”
“No, I get it. You’ve always had your sights set higher than Banberry. But can I ask you why?”
“There’s nothing for me here, Brad. You know that. I outgrew this town when I was twelve.”
“Ouch.”
“No offense, but you know what I mean. I’m glad you’ve found a life here, but it just isn’t the life for me. Horses and farming and drinking at Cowboy Joe’s every Friday?”
“You just defined Dad, hun, not me.”
“I know. But still… I feel lost because I’m not sure what life for me looks like right now. I’m sorry I took it out on you, though.”
“Apology accepted. Now, can we forget about this family drama stuff and enjoy the two or so days I get with my kid sister?”
“Consider it forgotten. For now. But don’t think I’m not plying you with drinks and getting into this Julia thing again before I take off. Where are we going, by the way?” He’d pulled off the highway a few exits earlier than he should have if they were headed to their folks’.
Everything they passed looked exactly as she’d left it a year ago, from the farmers’ market run by crotchety Bill Haven, a man who secretly loved bringing the community together each week, to her elementary school a block from Brad’s. Even the ice cream store, with its stained life-sized soft serve cone was still there. The town was eerily unchanged. So why did it feel so different?
“My house real quick. I want to pick something up before we head to Mom and Dad’s. You wanna come in real quick? I’d love to show you what we’ve done to the place.”
Paige tried to hide her exhaustion of two plane rides and the travel on either end with a smile to make up for her shitty attitude. She loved how much Brad put into everything he did, his home with Julia included, but right now, she wished she had the energy to match.
“Sure. But then let’s hustle to Mom and Dad’s. I’m wiped.” As if on cue, she yawned, and swore she saw Brad cringe.
“Yeah. Sure. I guess.” He sounded distracted. Paige wished more than ever she’d just gotten off the plane and hugged him, maybe shared fun island stories about the locals and the shenanigans she got into instead of badgering him about his girlfriend.
Who was home, apparently.
Julia stood at their window, arms crossed, brow furrowed.
Oh, goody.
“Why don’t I wait in the car while you grab whatever you need?” she asked Brad, adding a less-than-authentic yawn to show off her exhaustion. Unfortunately, Brad wasn’t having it.
“Nope. I need your help carrying it out.”
“Ugh. Julia’s in there, and you saw how ‘fun’ I am today,” she whined, using air quotes for emphasis. “Not a good combo, bro.”
“She’ll survive and so will you. Just be nice. C’mon.” He got out of the car, and Paige sighed, put her head in her hands.
“Be nice,” she said to the empty car. “Sure. Easy-peasy.” She looked up at Julia again, tried her brother’s fake smile and added a little wave for good measure. She got out of the car and braced against the heat. Turks had been consistently warm, with near one-hundred-percent humidity some days, but there weren’t the fluctuations that Montana had, especially in the mountain valleys like this one. This heat felt like a sauna.
Paige reluctantly walked up the three concrete steps to the front door, then opened the screen; the air-conditioning hit her face like a welcome island breeze. She shut her eyes briefly, imagining crystal-blue water in front of her, sand beneath her feet, and a coconut filled with local libations in her hand. She could almost hear the steel drums, feel their beat pulsing through her. God, it was nice to be back there, even just in her thoughts.
The daydream came to a violent end when a chorus of voices screamed, “Surprise!”
No, no, no, no. Not today. Unfortunately, she couldn’t blink away the crowd in front of her.
Her mom and dad stood at the center of the crowd, her brother and Julia beside them. People Paige hadn’t seen in years surrounded them. Her high school Spanish teacher with her husband. Three of her mom’s book club friends she’d known as babysitters growing up. Then, it seemed, anyone Paige had come in contact with during her eighteen short years in Banberry—hairdressers, dentists, teachers—on the periphery. They blurred into one organism, obnoxiously standing between her and sleep. The gaudy pink decorations exploding from every corner of the small room left her confused. Was someone pregnant?
Her mom came up to her all smiles and hugged Paige. She was glad for the small but welcome bit of familiarity and distraction.
“Welcome home, hun. We missed you.” Her mom swept her arm towards the throng of people waiting expectantly. For what, though?
Paige honestly couldn’t figure out why they were all there.
Her brother and Julia had better not be expecting…
“I missed you, too, Mom. What is all this?” She whispered the last part, hating that it came out sounding like a hiss.
“It was Julia’s idea. She wanted to throw a surprise party for you to welcome you back to the States. Isn’t that just the sweetest?” Her mom seemed to compensate for Paige’s lowered voice by raising hers in volume and pitch.
A surprise party? Was she four years old?
Paige bit her tongue so she didn’t comment on what it really was. A pink, unwanted nightmare.
“You should greet everyone. Tell them thank you for coming,” her mom whispered, nudging her forward.
“I didn’t ask for this, Mom,” Paige said through clenched teeth. “I just wanted to see you and Dad.”
“Don’t you dare be like that. Say hi to your guests, Paige. I didn’t raise you to be rude.” Another nudge pushed her in front of the crowd.
Paige rolled her eyes and looked for Brad. He was the more social of them both. He’d know what to say. There was no way he would have subjected her to this only to leave her alone, thrown to the wolves.
She finally spied him with Julia in the corner of the kitchen, Julia’s hand waving violently in his face as she whisper-yelled something to him that clearly pissed him off. His fake smile was long gone, replaced instead with balled fists and flushed cheeks.
Paige was on her own, not unlike her brother.
“Fine,” she told her mom. She cleared her throat, glancing at the guests sitting or standing awkwardly, waiting for her.
“Hi, guys. It’s great to be back,” she started, feeling the lie as she said it. At that moment, she’d have given anything to be back in Turks, with the carefree friendship of Aurelie, drinking Dirty Conchs instead of cheap beer, listening to local reggae and not the elevator music playing on Julia’s Bluetooth speaker.
But she’d been restless and left. She had no one to blame but herself.
“Um, it’s good to see you all again. Especially you, Mrs. Hamshire. I’m going to find you in a sec to book a much-needed hair appointment this week while I’m home.” Everyone laughed, giving Paige time to visually check in on Brad, who was no longer in the kitchen.
Julia stood there alone, her frown etched into lines on her forehead while she gathered a plate of deviled eggs, Paige’s least favorite party food.
“I’d like to thank you all for coming to welcome me back. It reminds me just how special this town is. I can’t wait to catch up with each of you.” Another lie that compounded her guilt. The crowd of people Paige barely remembered from her childhood cheered and took her words as their cue to go mingle, releasing Paige from being the center of attention. She exhaled a deep breath.
When she did, her eyes landed on a man in the back of the room. He was the only person there she didn’t recognize, a tall cowboy with a flannel shirt and muscles that seemed to press against the material as if struggling to break free. His hair was tucked into a backwards ball cap instead of the usual Stetson on every male over the age of five and she could see blond curls sneaking out of the sides. He looked to be her age, but she didn’t get anything more than that from his stoic gaze.
That was pinned on her. A stirring fluttered in her abdomen.
Who was he here with? She couldn’t take her eyes off him. He wasn’t her type for all the reasons Banberry itself wasn’t, but her body didn’t seem to register that. A heat pooled in her belly, a distantly familiar feeling that hadn’t occurred in months, if not longer. He had to be 6’5”, and as she took in his hands—his massive, tanned hands holding a bottle of Amstel—she wondered what else on him might be as large.
She blushed and turned away when she realized he was still watching her, a frown on his face.
The thing was, when she looked back at the mystery man in his flannel and jeans—the uniform of the Montana working man—she believed those last words about being happy to be home.
He caught her watching him again and his eyes narrowed, took her in from head to toe, appraising her. This time, instead of a frown, he smiled, showing off perfect white teeth.
The heat in her stomach moved south—he was handsome, all right. A dentist’s dream of a smile that reached his light brown eyes. Stubble that belied a good couple days without a shave.
Who was this guy? A voice in the back of her head argued that a one-night stand while she was home wasn’t completely out of the question.
Shut up and stop being a harpy. The last thing she needed was another reason not to come home between stints abroad.
Paige snuck her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and scrawled out a text to Aurelie.
Made it. They threw a surprise party for me. With pink decorations. Hurry up and save me. Miss you already. K and C. Xoxo, P.
She thought of adding something about the handsome—and still unclaimed—stranger but something held her back. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her brother come in off the porch, a beer in each hand. He didn’t look as angry, but what she saw was worse. His smile was sad, and telltale tracks of tear stains outlined his cheeks.
Her phone chimed, alerting her to a message. She opened it and laughed.
On my way. Bringing you a case of rum and a rubbish bag for the decorations. Hang in there. Remember, you can always come back here and wait tables at the Crab Shack. They could use a white girl like you to draw in the tourists. Miss u too. Kisses and conch.–A
Paige shoved the phone back in her pocket and stormed up to her brother.
“Hey, you. Come outside and talk to me,” she commanded. He nodded and followed her out, downing the beer.
Paige walked out on the back porch of Brad and Julia’s small home and inhaled, filling her lungs with as much oxygen as she could. Her body just didn’t seem to want to acclimate.
It wasn’t only the altitude.
Her heart refused to assimilate, let Banberry in.
Their backyard opened up to the forest, Rocky Mountain maples and juniper bushes forming a natural hedge to the intimate paver stone patio and sparse deck furniture. Behind the forest, the Elkhorn Mountains closed around them like a fence, protecting them from the rest of the world.
Maybe that was the problem. Maybe the inability to see the horizon was part of the reason she couldn’t stay long in Banberry.
She took another breath, desperate for this place to feel like home. The sweet aroma of the maples brought her closer, but something was still missing.
“I don’t want to hear it right now, Paige,” Brad said. He leaned against the tan clapboards, his head in the palm of his empty hand.
“I wasn’t going to say it, Brad. I promise. I just wanted to give you the chance to get out of the party for a minute to regroup.” She met him where he stood and wrapped a protective arm around his waist.
A stray tear fell. He sipped his other beer, the first one long gone, his eyes raised to the plywood roofline he’d built for Julia to cover the patio he’d also put in for her. Paige’s heart wanted to shatter for what her brother was going through.
“Thanks, sis. I’m sorry about the party, too. It was Julia’s idea. I told her you’d be destroyed after trekking halfway across the world, but she insisted. Which was cute until I realized who she’d invited. It’s like she doesn’t know you—or me—at all. I mean, your old grade school librarian? Your hairdresser from eighth grade?”
Paige laughed, a deep cackle that came from her chest.
“Yeah, I was wondering about that. I thought it was just you being my typically clueless brother.”
“Please. If I were in charge of the party you know I’d have invited all your ex-boyfriends, maybe a couple of the girls from your seventh-grade volleyball team that used to tease you. I definitely would have had the kid who gave you mono in high school. There’d have been pizazz to welcome my baby sister home.”
This time, Paige snorted. “Now that would have been a party.”
“Seriously, Paige. I’m so sorry. It was the first thing she’d taken off my plate in as long as I can remember, so I let her have it.”
“It’s fine, Brad. I mean it,” she added when he shot her a furrowed brow. “I don’t have a spare electron of energy to give people I care about, Mom and Dad included, today. Since they’re busy with gossip from Ms. Hamshire, they won’t have time to make me feel guilty for leaving again in a week. You, good sir, just bought me a night of freedom.”
She playfully punched his shoulder, delighted when his goofy, crooked grin crept back.
“Wanna bail? I doubt anyone here would care too much. I can sneak you into the apartment above the garage before Mom and Dad try and make you take your twin bed from high school.”
“Yes, please.” She grabbed his arm. “But before we leave, who’s that tall drink of water that was standing in the back? The one guy under sixty besides you? Julia didn’t invite him, did she? Because then I might have to forgive her.”
Brad laughed, spitting his beer out. He wiped at his chin and cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt.
“No way, sis. He’s off-limits. That’s your new neighbor, Owen Johnson. He just bought the farm next door to Mom and Dad’s. I guess he just retired out of the military and wanted a simpler life from what I gathered at the last Sunday dinner. Mom and Dad invited him, but they barely let him get a word in edgewise. Dad kept going on about the unusually dry season.”
“Figures. So, this guy showed up in the middle of nowhere to buy a farm. Why do people do that?” she asked, intentionally ignoring her brother’s comment about Owen being off-limits. “I could teach him about a simple life. Beach, beer, and a book. Or in my case, the beach, a cocktail, and a trashy romance. Different recipe but same result—instant relaxation. Anyway, he’s cute.”
She glanced past Brad into the house and caught Owen chatting up her old driver’s ed teacher. Her throat went bone-dry, something she only partly blamed on the arid mountain air.
“Nice, too. Which is why I’m going to ask you to steer clear of him. You’ll just break his poor heart, and I kinda like the idea of grabbing beers with the guy. Don’t mess it up for me.”
Brad was teasing, but he was right. As cute as her new, albeit temporary, neighbor was, she had to put him off-limits. Paulo might not have control of her heart anymore, but travel did.
Still, watching her new neighbor, jeans tight on a butt that if she allowed herself to say so was perfect and downright touchable, she couldn’t help but wonder what the rest of the body underneath those clothes would look like. And whether he knew how to use it.
More than just the heat emanating off the patio flushed her cheeks. She stole her brother’s beer and put it to her forehead.
She needed to make herself a cool bath, grab a glass of rum, and try not to imagine her mom’s new neighbor joining her in the tub. There was no time in her life for a cowboy, not even one as hot as Owen Johnson.
She’d better figure out her next move quickly and get the hell out of Banberry while she could.