16. The Decision
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The Decision
P aige noticed the fresh rake marks down the length of her driveway when she came home from the grocery store. She’d given the gravel hell the way she’d peeled out of there earlier, but hadn’t cared at the time. Now it looked like the driveway was brand new.
Had her mom done it? She hoped not, especially since she had enough on her plate without Paige adding her juvenile temper tantrum to the mix. But who, then? Owen’s truck wasn’t there, so it couldn’t have been him, could it?
She made her way upstairs, the ingredients for her key lime pie in bags. The scent of the key lime juice spread to all corners of her small apartment, reminding her of the islands, of when she would bake for Aurelie and her mom after a bad hospital visit…
Shit. Aurelie! Where was she? She should have shown up by then. Paige hoped she hadn’t tried to come by only to find everyone gone.
Dammit.
Paige dialed Aury’s number, impatiently tapping her foot on the tile floor while she waited to see if her friend would forgive her enough to pick up. It went straight to voicemail, so she shot off a text.
Call me when you get this. I’m an ass for not being here earlier. Forgive me and tell me where I can come get you.
She didn’t even know where to start—Jules and Vernes? Hours had passed since Aury had shown up there. She could be anywhere between there and the farm.
Shit, shit, shit.
Paige put the phone down and stared at the thirty key limes she still had to juice. Paige got to it, desperate for her hands to stay busy so hopefully her mind would follow.
She sliced, juiced, and tossed the rinds of the limes on repeat until her wrists cried out under the strain. She couldn’t stop there, though. She mixed the egg yolks, condensed milk and whipping cream, taking her frustration at how seriously she had botched everything out on the filling of her pie. She dabbed her finger in the mixture and put it to her lips. Tears of frustration came unbidden, the result of too much strain in too short a time.
At least her pie was good. Not great, but almost.
She added her secret ingredient, tasted again. It was perfect, the one thing she could always count on going right.
Paige put the pie in the oven and checked her phone for the umpteenth time. Nothing. She found the paperwork she’d asked Carly to send her regarding her daughter’s labs and checked her watch. Fifteen minutes left to bake.
She’d let the pie cool and head to the hospital to ask Miranda for the privileges she’d need to work on Carly’s case. Maybe she’d get lucky and run into Aury somewhere in town. It was Banberry—how many places could she really be?
Paige sprinted through a shower since she resembled a wild animal the more of the day that passed by, applied the bare minimum of makeup she’d need to pull off semi-professional, and dug around in her closet until she found a pantsuit from when she’d applied to med school. It was old, but still in fashion, and better yet, was only slightly snug in the thighs, which Paige attributed to her runs on the beach in Turks.
Basically, if it zipped and buttoned, it would do the trick.
When the timer rang, she was ready to go, purse on her shoulder and jacket in hand in case this took longer than she thought. She was halfway to the door when a loud crash came from below. She looked out the window, surprised to see Owen, her brother, and Steve working by the barn, tossing wood planks from trucks. When had they all arrived? What were they working on?
As much as she craved answers, she didn’t have the energy or the desire to see Owen. Not yet.
Not wanting a repeat of this afternoon, Paige delicately reversed her vehicle, careful not to disrupt the gravel that Owen fixed—or at least she assumed it had to be him. Asking would mean yet another thank you and she definitely didn’t have that in her at the moment. She was polite, but there were limits to what she could handle.
A text came in while she waited at the stoplight before the hospital.
Checking to see how you’re doing. Dad’s well, as am I. No need for dinner. Love you.
Great. Paige slammed the heel of her hand on the steering wheel, where the start of a bruise formed from juicing the limes. She’d been so wrapped up in her own shitstorm she hadn’t thought to swing by the hospital with dinner or clothes or anything that would have made this experience a little easier on her mother.
She was royally fucking up. The worst part was, her head—and therefore world—would fix itself if she could just tell Owen that she loved him too, that she was scared shitless, but if he could forgive her, she’d consider options other than travel.
The problem was, she needed forgiveness from so many people at that moment, she didn’t think she could have that conversation with Owen until amends had been made across the board.
When she got to the hospital, Paige stopped in the gift shop and bought two bags of peanut butter M&Ms, her mom’s favorite, and headed to her dad’s room, feeling not at all absolved. It would take more than a thousand calories of peanut butter and chocolate to feel like she was making her way back to her family.
Her mom’s smile almost broke Paige’s heart right then and there. That love when she’d done nothing but screw up lately made her feel both unworthy and like she was the luckiest woman on the planet.
“Hey, baby girl.” Her mom hugged her tightly and Paige started to break. “Why are you so dressed up, hun?”
Paige pulled back and straightened her suit jacket. “I’m here to ask for privileges so I can help someone from high school’s daughter. She’s pretty sick and they haven’t been able to get any answers. The mom stopped by earlier.”
“Oh, honey, that’s great. I’ll bet you’ve missed practicing, huh?” Her mom nailed the underlying feeling that ran through every bad decision she’d made since she got home. Sure, Banberry was small, yes she was scared to stay, to fall in love and feel trapped, but more than all of that, she missed medicine. She missed her patients.
“I have,” she admitted. “So much.”
“Then get out of here already. But leave the M&Ms and let me know how it all turns out.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I know you do, honey. Hey, you haven’t seen your brother, have you? His friend Steve came by to get him a few hours ago, but I didn’t get a chance to ask him if he’s all right.”
“He’s at the farm with Steve and Owen,” Paige said, trying not to emphasize Owen’s name as much as it seemed to scream itself in her thoughts. “Looks like they’re working on the barn for Dad.”
“That Owen’s a good one,” Marge said. Paige swallowed an Owen-sized lump in her throat. “That Steve can get out of hand, though, don’t you think?”
“I do. But Brad’s a big boy. He can handle himself. Most of the time.”
Marge chuckled, shook her head.
“He can.” Her mom cleared her throat, looked at the door. “Now go. I’ll be here if you need me.” The sentiment went beyond the walls of the hospital, and again Paige was grateful.
Aury was still radio silent. Time to make things right with her career.
She followed the signs to administration until she came to a door labeled Dr. Miranda Roberts, Chief of Medicine. She took a deep breath and knocked. This was it, her first step in reaching out to Banberry for more than just a place to crash for a week. Why did it feel bigger to Paige than just asking for privileges to help a friend?
The door opened and she found herself face-to-face with her mentor from Oxford, where she’d done her residency after the Royal Hospital. She stood there, jaw on the floor, words failing her.
“ Paige? ” the woman asked, incredulous. Her mouth mirrored Paige’s, puppet-like in its gape. Except the woman seemed to have much better control of her other faculties, unlike Paige, who could only nod, feeling very much like an idiot for not being able to do anything else. “Come here, you!” Miranda wrapped Paige up in a hug that made her feel, for the first time in weeks, like everything might be okay.
“How… What are you… This is so…” Paige could barely eke out a half sentence. Luckily, Miranda laughed, pulled Paige into her office and sat her on one of the couches.
She waved her arm, sweeping across a room Paige recognized, down to the photo of Miranda’s dog. Everything was in the same configuration that it had been in London. It gave Paige an odd sense of nostalgia mixed with vertigo, like her world spun circles around her.
“I got here two years ago. The old chief and I used to practice together in Nairobi and he called to tell me why I couldn’t miss coming to this corner of the world, that the place would charm the knickers right off me. Of course, he was right, I mean look at it. It’s like something out of a country and western movie!” Miranda gushed.
Paige snapped out of her daze and laughed.
“This is all too crazy. How didn’t I recognize your name when I looked you up?”
“Oh, that.” Paige’s old mentor blushed a deep crimson and her smile belied a story. “Well, I married the man who made me move here. He retired and I took over for him. It’s all so perfectly romantic. And now you’re here! Why, my dear, may I ask?” Her accent made Paige want to curl up in her lap and gush about all the strange and wonderful—and some not so wonderful—things that had happened since she’d last seen Miranda. She almost forgot why she was there.
“Well, I wanted to ask for privileges, actually.” Paige spent the next twenty minutes filling her old mentor in on why she was there in Banberry, what had brought her to the hospital, and what she hoped to do.
“It’s my lucky day, I think. That little girl’s as well. Two competent professionals from the same island, both asking me for jobs? I think I must be dreaming.”
Paige choked on a sharp intake of air.
“I’m sorry, two of us? What do you mean?”
“Just an hour ago a woman from Turks and Caicos came by asking if there was space for her to practice here, and it only took ten minutes with her for me to hire her on the spot. She’s down in HR right now filling out the paperwork. And then you. I feel like I’ve won the lottery.” Miranda clapped her hands like a grade-school teacher whose students just learned to write their names.
Paige was in shock. The whole day was turning into a weird dream she couldn’t wake up from.
“Her name wasn’t Aurelie, was it?”
“It is. I figured the islands were too small for you two to not know each other. But tell me, Paige, because I know and trust your judgment. Is she as good as she seems?”
“The best,” Paige eked out. It was true, but none of that mattered. Her head spun and she was lightheaded. Somehow, this small town, this place she’d run from like it was on fire, was drawing her back in like the damn Bermuda Triangle. She was losing the will to fight it off. “Miranda, my dad’s in here for a fall…” she started.
Miranda took her hands and squeezed them, her face a map of concern.
“I’m so sorry, dear. Is there anything I can do?”
Paige shook her head. “No, thanks. He’s in good hands down there. But do you mind if we catch up more later? I’d love to check in with HR and get the ball rolling so I can help Carly’s family as soon as possible and get back to my dad.”
“Of course. Let’s get coffee when you’re settled. My treat.” Miranda stood, went behind her desk to her phone. “I’ll call down and let them know you’re coming and to expedite your inbound paperwork.”
“Thanks so much, Miranda. It really is so good to see you. I can’t wait to meet this charming new man of yours.” Paige smiled, her lips only able to meet her heart halfway with the effort, though. She was glad to see a friendly and familiar face, but at that moment, all she could concentrate on was Aurelie. Aurelie who was somewhere in the hospital signing papers to work in Butte.
To live where?
What would happen if Paige left? Rather, when Paige left. What would her friend do then? Paige didn’t have a clue what to address first when she saw Aurelie—the apology she owed her for forgetting her at the airport, or the fact that Aury wasn’t answering her phone and was instead making a major career change. A career and location change that could influence Paige’s life monumentally.
She started towards the door after a lingering hug from Miranda, who stopped her before she got all the way out.
“Paige?”
“Yes?” Paige asked, only half-turning back.
“If you decide to stick around, I’ll make those privileges permanent. No questions asked.”
Paige smiled and nodded, all she seemed capable of.
“Thanks, Miranda.” She closed the door behind her and sprinted down the hallway, narrowly avoiding toppling some physicians and wandering family members in the bridge between human resources and the patient floors.
She got to HR breathless. She straightened her jacket, and opened the door to the deep, throaty laughter of Aurelie.
Paige followed the sound until she came to a small group of people around one of the desks in a small office. She stood there on the periphery until she heard a familiar voice in a thick island accent say, “Well, if you say it’s coffee, I’ll believe you, but until you’ve had my island roast, you really shouldn’t brag about this lukewarm brackish water.”
The room erupted in laughter and Paige just smiled, her heart happy to hear, if not see, her friend.
“Don’t listen to her,” Paige chimed in. “She always came to my house for the coffee.”
Some chuckles made their way across the crowd but it parted, allowing Paige to see her best friend for the first time in months. She was so clearly just off the plane, a bright red tunic hanging over island-short shorts, long, shapely legs topping off the image that seemed out of place in such a sterile environment.
She was happiness incarnate, everything Paige needed. So much had happened since she’d been able to talk to this woman face-to-face. The death of Aury’s mother, meeting Owen, her accident, her cancer… It overwhelmed her to know that no matter what had transpired, she’d needed her friend, and her friend had come.
“My sweet, sweet friend,” Aurelie cooed, “I’m so happy to finally see you!” The crowd dissipated, murmuring welcome-to-the-team and glad to have you this side of the pond , but they respectfully gave space.
Paige ran to Aurelie’s open arms and when the warmth of Aury’s skin touched hers, like she carried the sun and the sea with her all this way, everything solid that held Paige upright dissolved into a puddle at Aury’s feet. She sobbed into Aury’s shoulder, the silk of the bright red fabric turning crimson like Paige’s tears spilled from a deeper wound than mere salt water could heal.
“Oh, Paige, let it out,” Aury said, her voice at once maternal and soothing. She patted Paige’s back firmly like Paige was an infant, but it worked. After a minute, Paige’s chest stopped heaving and though her eyes remained damp, she didn’t feel the weight of sadness anymore. She finally released her best friend and stood back, admiring her.
“It’s so damn good to see you,” Paige choked out.
“Oh, sweetie, that’s nice to hear, because when you come to me all sad-faced and crying, a girl could get the wrong idea, you know.”
Paige couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that rose from her belly, escaping between hitched breaths.
“I’m so sorry I forgot about you,” she said. “Did you come by the house first? I was out…” she started, but Aury just shook her head at Paige like she, per usual, didn’t have a clue.
“Again, not making a girl feel welcome,” Aury teased, her long lashes diving into a wink that Paige had witnessed drive men crazy. Another bout of giggles erupted from both women this time. “I tease you, you know. I came here first. I know about your father, about your brother. Are they okay?”
“But how could you…?” Paige began.
“Tsk, tsk,” Aurelie said. “So much to tell you, to hear about your life. It must be done with rum, though, yes?”
“Oh, yes,” Paige laughed. “It must.”
“And do I smell coconut? Does that mean we have a pie to go with the drinks?” Aurelie tapped her fingers together, licked her lips in her second most alluring move. Paige had witnessed it cause a fist fight between men.
“A pie was made, yes, but it’s not for us.” Though she would have made a pie for Aury if she’d remembered her friend was coming. A fresh wave of guilt washed over her.
“Hmm, does this have anything to do with the handsome man who picked me up at the bus stop and gave me a ride here?” Aury crossed her arms, an up-to-no-good smile tugging at her lips.
Paige’s brows tugged in confusion. She recovered quickly, cleared her throat.
“That depends. What can you tell me about this handsome stranger? We don’t get many in these parts.”
“Well, he’s the first cowboy I met. What a standard for the rest to meet, hmm? And he happens to be your neighbor.” Aurelie’s eyes narrowed, looking for a reaction from Paige no doubt. The last thing Aury knew was that a hot former Marine had moved in and given her a ride back from her crappy welcome back party.
God, that seemed like years ago.
Paige was determined not to go there until she had a glass filled to the top with ice and Caribbean rum. Plus, she needed some time to figure out what she even wanted to say about him.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Paige said, hating that it came out sounding like a plea.
“What a shame, because it looks like a lot of fun,” Aurelie said, winking. “Come on, it’s time to see your home and relax. My feet hurt.”
Paige looked down and laughed at Aurelie’s heels that complemented her short shorts and bright, flowing top. Definitely an island outfit, maybe not so much meant for the rugged terrain of rural Montana.
“Do you want to change your shoes? The land out here can be pretty unforgiving.”
“Oh, child, who do you think you’re talking to? If I gave in every time my feet were a little uncomfortable, I’d live the most boring life. And besides, these are too cute not to share with the world.”
Aurelie wiggled her turquoise-painted toes that peeped from underneath red leather. Paige wasn’t sure if Aury meant her shoes or her feet, or both, but if she knew one thing about her friend, it was that fashion topped her list of priorities right behind women’s rights and just before global warming.
“They’re darling. And you’ll ruin them in about five minutes when you walk out of the hospital. Speaking of which, we’re spending the first glass talking about why you’re here in the first place.”
“Yes, yes. We have all the time. I’m not going anywhere, Paige.”
Paige glared at her friend, the corners of her lips betraying her with a smile.
“So, I heard. Can you just tell me this? Does you showing up ready to stay have anything to do with your dad?”
Aurelie nodded, her smile still there, still effervescent, but with some of the luminosity diminished.
“Okay,” Paige said. “Rum is now mandatory. C’mon. I want you to meet my folks.”
Paige and Aury walked down the hallway hand in hand, Aurelie gabbing about the small seats on American planes, the “horrendous” airplane food and prices, nothing too serious like her mother’s passing or Paige’s cancer. They had time to sift through all that.
So much time, apparently.
They got to the hall with her dad’s room, Paige laughing so hard tears streamed down her cheeks about an anecdote involving Aurelie, a very cute flight attendant, and some smuggled wine, when Paige came to a halt.
Julia’s mom, Betsy, stood in the room with her mom and dad and none of them looked at all happy to be there.
“Give me a sec, is that okay?”
Aurelie only nodded and nudged her friend forward.
Paige walked in, the small hairs on her arms standing straight up.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Julia’s mom put her hand up towards Paige, a manicured finger raised, but didn’t look at her.
Paige’s heart pounded against her chest, her cheeks flushed, but not at all in the way they did when she thought of Owen. No, this was rage. Its humble beginnings would turn hostile if she didn’t check herself. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to trick her body back to peace.
Paige’s mom walked over to her, put her arm next to her daughter’s so they touched. It had the right effect and Paige calmed.
“You have no right to accuse my daughter of anything. If we’re being honest, I am not sure why she’s still with Bradley. She’s been supporting his dream of being a writer for long enough now, don’t you think? Isn’t it time he got a real job? Started taking care of her?”
Marge’s hand squeezed the flesh above Paige’s elbow, a silent gesture pleading for Paige to be quiet, not say what was on her mind. Paige bit her lip. The apple definitely didn’t fall too far from the self-obsessed tree in that family. Marge never would have let Paige or Brad get away with talking to someone the way Julia and her mother did.
“I think they are adults, and should probably be left alone to decide what’s best for them as a couple.”
Amen.
“Hmph,” Julia’s mom spat. “Says the woman who all but accused my daughter of running around on your son.”
Paige took two steps forward, breaking her mom’s grasp on her bicep. She’d had enough.
“Did my mom mention that it’s because I saw your daughter leaving a hotel and restaurant with Chris? Hand in hand? Her head on his shoulder? That she kissed him? I’d say that pretty much sums everything up, wouldn’t you say?” Marge cleared her throat, but Paige ignored it. She wasn’t remotely close to being done. “And now that we’re on the subject of Julia’s ‘support’ of my brother,” she added, air quotes to emphasize her point, “did you know she’s only been working part time at a damn bed and bath store? That Brad still bought her a new car with the money he’s been saving from his job as a full-time teacher for the past five years ? Instead of the truck he’d been trying to buy for himself so he can use it on my parents’ farm that he also helps out at? Oh,” she said, her blood churning to an almost-boil, “and did you also know he wrote a novel despite all of this and is submitting it to publishers? So, worry about your daughter next time and stop trying to bully my brother who’s done nothing but be there for Julia even though it’s killing him.”
She stood, arms crossed and inhaled deeply, proud and defiant.
Julia’s mom clutched the straps of her purse like lifelines, her knuckles white. Paige enjoyed putting this pompous woman in her place. She’d always run around town acting like because she came from city money—not New York, but Helena, which barely counted to Paige—she was better than everyone else. Not anymore.
When she’d regained her composure, Julia’s mom stormed through the door. She looked at Marge, daggers flying from her eyes that had become slits not unlike a dragon’s. It was almost comical.
“I thought we were friends,” she mustered, her voice cracking before she walked out, her chin pointing the way.
Paige turned to her mom and dad, the latter of whom had been uncharacteristically quiet this whole time, and grinned. Her smile wasn’t returned, though.
“What?” she asked her mom.
Marge just shook her head, reminding Paige of when she was a child. She’d have done something that she thought was good, and her mom’s posture would drip with disappointment. It was a back-and-forth that clouded Paige’s childhood, making her want to run away as far and as fast as she could. All those memories came flooding back, welling behind Paige’s eyes.
“You’ve crossed the line, Paige,” her mom told her, her voice quiet and certain.
“Tell me how, Mom. She was berating you, Brad, and me. What gives her the right?”
“She’s my friend and was just giving her opinion. I had it handled, but you had to take the situation up a notch like you always do and make it worse.”
“Her opinion ?” Paige cried out. “That’s bullshit and you know it. She thinks her daughter is completely without fault, like she can’t screw up. I was just pointing out that fact so they stop blaming Brad for everything. Why weren’t you?”
“Paige,” her mom began, her pointer finger and thumb pressed against the bridge of her nose, “you have no idea the influence Betsy has…” Marge said before Paige cut her off with her hand wavering in the air. Her whole body shook.
“No. I don’t care about her ‘influence,’ Mom. I care about our family, about Brad. I don’t give a damn about Julia or her stuffy parents.”
Marge opened her mouth to reply, but Alan, propped up in his bed with pillows, cleared his throat.
“Enough,” he said. Paige’s veneer cracked when she heard the weakness in her dad’s voice. For the first time, she noticed how fragile he looked without the backdrop of the farm behind him. “You two have it all wrong,” he said. “You’re both concerned with what she thinks and that’s where you’re messing up. What she thinks of you, of Brad, is none of our business.”
“Honey,” Marge began, but Alan put his hand up, using Marge’s signature move against her.
“No. If the past few months have taught us anything, it’s that time is short. Why the hell would you two waste it arguing logic with a woman who showed up to defend her daughter’s honor?”
Paige looked down at the floor feeling very much like a chastised three-year-old. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her mother doing the same thing.
“Now, don’t you have a friend here?” Alan asked. Paige looked up. He nodded in the direction of Aurelie, who attempted to look busy on her phone, but Paige could tell by her sidelong glances she’d caught all of the past few minutes. Well, at least that would save some debriefing time over rum. She nodded at her father.
“Go be with her and let me rest,” he told Paige and she nodded again. He was spot-on about all of it.
Shit, almost thirty-five years old and still being schooled by her dad. It would be embarrassing if he wasn’t so right all the time.
“As for you,” she heard him tell his wife, “I could use some ice cream.” Paige could tell his mother protested because she heard her dad add, “Now, please. I love you, Margie.”
Paige stifled a giggle as she left. Her mom hated that nickname.
Paige got to Aury and sighed, throwing her head against her friend’s chest, thoroughly exhausted by the day, by the month that preceded it.
“It sounds like we have much to drink about, yes?”
“Hell, yes. I hope you came with reinforcements.”
They were waiting for the elevator to arrive, when Marge slid up beside them. She tucked a hand in Paige’s and squeezed.
“I’m sorry, hun,” she whispered. “I really do value her friendship. And before you say anything, I know that sounds as complicated as it probably is.” Paige shut her mouth, nodded. She’d take that as a win, even though her mom was right—she didn’t understand it. “I’m Marge, by the way.” Paige forgot that the whole witnessing of the fight was because she’d wanted to introduce her friend to her folks.
“I’m Aurelie. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for having me out.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you. Paige’s told us so much about your time together in the islands. It sounds heavenly. How long are you here for?”
Aurelie smiled at Paige and shrugged.
“That’s to be decided. I might end up staying for quite a while.”
“Well, welcome to Banberry. I think you’ll like the town.”
“The people here are all pretty… Fantastic.” Aurelie nudged Paige. She meant Owen was pretty fantastic. Paige stifled a giggle and turned to her mom.
“We’re gonna head home. Do you need anything tomorrow?”
“We’ll be fine. You girls have fun.”
Paige took that as her cue so when the elevator doors opened, she pulled Aury inside, desperate to leave, to get some air, to start her night with her friend. She let Aury continue her benign talk about work at the clinic in Turks, her stomach lurching when Aury talked about the kids, how much they missed Paige. She missed them, too, but her time there was over, she was as sure about that as Aury was about leaving.
It did make Paige think, though. The idea of seeing the kids grow up, beat their illnesses, be there for the families not as lucky that way, held an appeal it never had before.
Having told the story of the doorbell on the way home, the only story safe to tell Aury until she figured out what to say about Owen, she rang it, laughing before she did at how obnoxious it would be.
Except it wasn’t.
“That seems perfectly delightful if you ask me. Pretty, even.” Paige followed where Aury’s finger pointed and found a brushed nickel sea turtle with a stone-blue shell in the place of the cracked, plastic rectangle from earlier. It was the exact color of the water off Paige’s island home in autumn.
“It is, isn’t it? Hmm, I must have heard it differently last time.” She didn’t want to admit that it wasn’t her hearing that was different—it was the bell. She must have guilted Owen into fixing it after she’d berated him for helping her in the first place. Could she behave like a bigger ass today? At least she was only a few drinks of rum away from heading to bed and starting again tomorrow. That seemed to be a constant for her lately.
“I think the pie is a nice way to say, ‘I’m sorry,’” Aury said, heading up the stairs.
Paige hated that Aury knew her better than she knew herself. Owen, it seemed, did, too. The second time, Owen had nailed it. The bell was so perfectly her . She asked Aury to unpack, make herself at home while she dropped off the pie. As far as she could tell, the guys had finished for the night and Owen’s porch light on told her he was still awake.
A chill raced down her spine. A chill took hold of the valley each night, despite the heat that still reigned during the day. On her walk down the path to Owen’s place, she ran through a dozen different ways to deliver the pie, what she should say and how she should say it. She even contemplated pulling a trick from her teen years—placing the pie on his doorstep, ringing the bell, and sprinting back to the safety of her apartment. Except for the whole she-couldn’t-run thing. In the end, she opted for a simple, “I’m sorry, thank you.”
At his door, she paused, not sure why her hands trembled. She didn’t want to drop the pie, so she rang the bell and put it down on the bench beside the door. Looking out over his property, she marveled at the small ways he’d made the place his own since he’d arrived. The path to her house was one of the miniscule changes, but it made her happy to see it, as did the others.
The fence was repaired, the crops healthy inside it. He’d made the deck around his house wider, more solid. When had he done that? Maybe while she healed at home? It still needed work, but most of it was done, and masterfully so. The craftsmanship was exquisite, she saw through the glow of the porch lights, which were also new.
The view from his porch was much the same as the one her parents had, but his house being farther down the road meant he could see deeper into the valley. Though darkness shrouded his view, it would be incredible to sit down at the end of a hard day’s work with a glass of wine and watch the stars come out along the silhouette of the range that circled them.
The door opened and she was glad she didn’t have the pie in her hand. She jumped, startled by his presence, even though she’d expected it.
“Hey,” he said, hands in pockets.
“Hi. I, um, like what you did out here. I can’t believe I didn’t notice earlier.”
“You’ve had a lot going on.”
“Yeah, I guess so. When did you do all this?”
“When you were in the hospital. And after. I needed something to keep my mind busy. I don’t do well alone with my thoughts. Especially when someone I love is in danger.”
Paige’s heart must have tried to jump right through her chest.
“I made you a pie,” she sputtered.
I made you a pie? Ugh. Good thing she was leaving again soon, because she sure couldn’t stick around here if that was the kind of brilliance she’d be spouting any time Owen came around. But had he just said he loved her? He’d said it before, but this was after they’d broken up.
It sounded different, heavier.
“I see that,” he said, the hint of a smile in his words.
“To say thank you. And sorry. But more thank you. Or more sorry, I guess. I don’t know.”
Oh my God, Paige. Shut up. Now.
“You’re welcome. And thanks,” he replied. His smile and eyes belied held back laughter and she wanted to run in shame. If she could have done anything more than shuffle back home, she would’ve.
“I’ve got some rum to go with the pie if you want to come in and have a slice.” She gazed up at his eyes, which glinted in the light. Her stomach flipped and the part of her that still longed for him pooled with moisture.
“Sure, but only for a minute. My friend Aurelie is in town.”
“I know, we met. That’s where I got the rum.”
“Oh, yeah, thanks by the way. I forgot she was coming, forgot to meet her at the house, forgot to bring my folks dinner. I’m a mess right now.”
“Again, you’ve had a lot going on.”
“That’s no excuse for leaving your friend from another country hanging when she comes to visit. Or stay and get a job.”
“She’s staying?” Owen’s smile matched Paige’s when she first found Aury. Paige filled him in on everything that had happened since she’d seen him earlier, remembering how nice it was to have his attention on her in a way she’d never experienced with any other man. He didn’t walk around, multitask while she talked, didn’t check his phone. He just listened.
She missed him. So much more than she’d realized.
“Wow. I wanna come back to the Brad and Julia thing later, but what do you think Aurelie’s going to do if she stays? Where will she live for starters? I’ve seen your place and it’s barely big enough for you and your TV dinners.”
“I don’t know,” Paige admitted. “We haven’t had a chance to talk about it yet. I have a feeling this was her plan the whole time, and I can’t say I hate it. I mean I’ve missed her, and I think she’ll love Banberry. She must have had some idea because she came with all of her credentials, all her equipment.”
Owen held up glasses for each of them filled with the caramel-colored liquid that had nursed her through her breakup with Paulo. The scent almost bowled her over it brought back so many memories.
“And all her rum.”
“Yes, thank God. That, too.” Paige smiled for the first time in a while, remembering how nice that was, too.
They clinked glasses, Owen’s gaze never leaving hers.
“To your health,” he whispered.
She nodded, mesmerized by him.
The liquid warmed her from her from the inside out. The hint of spice and coconut danced in her mouth and her heart ached with the life she’d walked away from, but also the one she was leaving behind here.
Owen closed the distance between them, stealing the last of the breath trapped in her lungs. He took her glass from her hands and placed it on the counter in front of her. He did the same with his, and with his now-idle hands, pulled her into him.
Before her mind could argue about what an awful idea it was, Owen’s mouth was on hers, the sweet taste on his tongue partly from the rum. The other part was just him.
She kissed him back, wrapping her hands in his hair, chills coursing down her spine as the muscle memory of loving this man came back to her in floods.
She gave over to the tide, bent into Owen with everything she’d been using to hold herself back until that moment. Her tongue reached for what it wanted, for more of the sweetness Owen offered.
Hands migrated to her waist, thumbs pressing into her hips, making her wet through her panties, which, she realized, were hideous.
Never mind. She shut down her brain for good, moving her own hands beneath the white work shirt Owen wore, breathing in the scent of work and wood chips that always seemed to emanate off his skin. It was exhilarating and comforting at the same time.
His skin was smooth and she used her pointer finger and thumb to tease his nipples to rough peaks that she would nibble on later. For now, his mouth sated her, making her unbelievably glad she’d baked him a pie, came over to apologize. She fiddled with his belt, frustrated that it wouldn’t budge, like it was glued at the buckle or something. She’d saw it off if she had to, she wanted him that badly.
Breaking free of his kiss to glance down, she realized small wood shavings were snagged in between the metal and leather, acting as stops each time she tried to pull at it. She giggled, picking them out one by one, desperate to get at the swelling that rose beneath Owen’s jeans.
“You’ve really got to stop taking your work home with you,” she teased.
He growled, a rumble that started low in his throat and vibrated his chest where her hands had just been. He nibbled at her neck, his teeth grazing her skin and making all the hairs on her arms stand on end. She shuddered with desire and finally broke the belt free and whipped it out of his jeans, accidentally lashing him on the arm.
“Oh!” she gasped. “I’m so sorry.” She bent down to kiss the red welt that rose on his tanned bicep, her lips brushing over the mark, until he took his hands to her cheeks and pulled her back up to him. His tongue explored the cavern of her mouth and she moaned with pleasure.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re staying, Paige,” he whispered between her lips, the words traveling down her throat. She smiled, running her tongue along Owen’s lips.
Until the words sunk in enough for her brain to register them.
She pulled away, his arms barely able to reach around her.
“What do you mean?”
He cocked his head, confused but didn’t answer.
“I’m still leaving, Owen.”
His arms fell from her hips and settled on his own.
“ What? ” he spat. “What about Aurelie? You said you were excited to see her. That she’s staying.”
He roared, hurting her ears. Hurting her heart.
“I can’t stay for her, Owen. She knows that. So do you. I’ll figure out work along the way.”
“You don’t even have a job yet. Jesus, Paige. What is so damn wrong with this place you can’t wait to get out of here?”
“You know it’s not that simple.”
Wasn’t it, though? Hadn’t all the signs been pointing to Owen, to Banberry, to practicing here? Why was she still pushing him away? She couldn’t stop herself though, couldn’t help the way she pulled away from him, fear driving a wedge between what she wanted more than anything and what pulled her away.
“You can’t stay for her, for me, but what about you ? Aren’t you working in Butte, too? That’s what Brad said.”
“For one case, Owen. One case where a family needs me.”
“There are so many who need you, Paige. Not just me,” he added when her eyes narrowed at him. “Let’s forget about me for a minute. Don’t you see that you can do so much good here? Do you think it’s a coincidence that a place opened up for a pediatrician at the same time you came home and got hurt? That Aurelie working here is a sign? That maybe, just maybe , you’re missing something?” Paige opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Hot tears stung her eyes, but pushed them back. “Everyone around you is showing you why you should give this place a shot, and you won’t listen. Why, Paige? What the hell are you running from?”
She couldn’t answer because the truth was, she didn’t know. She fought against staying in Banberry with a force that surprised even her, but she’d never stopped to really ask herself what could be so bad with staying. Her pulse quickened, but Owen read her pause the wrong way.
“Fine,” he told her. “But I’m done chasing you, Paige Connors. Good luck out there.” He walked her to the door, all but shoved her out of it, slamming it shut behind her.
She wanted to knock, to talk to him about what he’d asked her, but instead she stood on his porch again, trembling as she’d been just moments before. This time, it wasn’t the cold from the settling autumn that bothered her.
It was the ice from Owen that chilled her to the bone, making her feel like she’d screwed up yet again. Why were all her apologies going to hell?
She walked back to her apartment hoping Aurelie had a tall glass poured for each of them.
It was time to get her advice about a few things.