26. Everett
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Everett
NOW
Everything feels still. Even as the waters crash onto the wet sand, it feels eerily quiet in the late night surrounded by nothing but the moonlight and the ocean breeze.
When I came back, I knew this was a possibility. Hell, I expected it. I was ready to watch from the sidelines as Teeny bounced around with her happy little family while I continued my role as the pushed-aside ex-boyfriend who got everything he deserved. But I got a glimpse of it. I tasted the life we could’ve had. I got to touch it and breathe it and exist in it. And just as quickly, it slipped away.
I wanted to grovel right there in front of Teeny. Beg for her to give us a chance. Because we deserve it. But I couldn’t. Not when she’s this vulnerable. I didn’t want to take advantage of a weak moment only for her to regret a decision that would’ve been made through the anticipation of disappointment. I can’t even blame her. Her heart is still healing, mending from the damage I sliced through it, and now I’m paying the price for those wounds.
I feel so lost. I don’t know what to do now. Teeny let me go. The pain of holding on to me and our past was too much to bear for her, and I can’t even fight her on it. She’s right. I hurt her in a way she can’t look past, and to ask her to wouldn’t be fair. I don’t know where to go from here. Going back to my hotel doesn’t feel right, and being here by the rampant waters feels the opposite of cathartic.
So, I get in my car and drive. I drive, following the roads I used to take when I was seventeen, finding solace in the familiarity of the winding paths and unforgettable landmarks. And suddenly, I’m standing in front of Josh’s house. The lights are off, which makes sense considering it’s close to midnight, but I make my way up his driveway and knock at his front door.
It opens, the hinges creaking slowly, somehow showing how fragmented our friendship has become. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I respond. We stand there, looking at each other. The anger in his face has shifted into disappointment. A part of me expects him to shut the door in my face or even yell at me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he opens the door wider, letting me in.
I follow his steps as he leads me to his living room. The lights are low, only one or two lamps lit in the far corners of the room next to the large flat screen and a few tall floor plants. We both sit on his couch, our postures tense and nervous.
“How’s your jaw?”
I run my hand over my chin. “A little sore.”
“Good,” he responds with an impassive smirk.
“How’s Teeny?”
He shrugs. “She won’t talk to me.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” he says, his gaze focused on the floor. “She hasn’t talked to anyone.”
“I know this doesn’t make things any better, but I didn’t know.”
He finally looks at me, a line cutting through his forehead as a confused scowl shifts his features. “She didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head. “She mentioned she thought she might be back then, and I—I got mad. I shouldn’t have, but I got some news about my dad, and I was in a bad place.” I pause before adding, “It’s not an excuse. I ended up pushing her away, and that’s why she didn’t tell me. It’s my fault. I should’ve been there, but I was too in my head about my own shit.”
He offers a small nod and a lingering silence that isn’t tense or angry. It’s just there, sitting between us while we figure out how to move on from this. “You still love her, don’t you?”
I nod. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her. These past twenty years have been…nothing. It felt empty and pointless, and when I came back…” I inhale a deep breath. It’s difficult to find the right words to describe what it felt like to have Teeny back in my life. But I try. “Things just seem to make sense now. Even without my job, I feel at ease, and?—”
“What happened with InnoDex?” Josh asks, concern etched on his face.
“I resigned.”
“Why?”
“I needed to be here.”
“For Teeny?”
I nod.
He exhales a heavy sigh, and I’m not sure if it’s relief or frustration. “Everett, you have to understand why I’m mad.”
“I know.”
“If it were anyone else, I would tell you to stay far away.” He chuckles morosely before adding, “Actually, I’d probably beat the shit out of you.”
“And I’d deserve it.”
“Yeah,” he scoffs. “You know you don’t deserve her.”
“I know.”
“And I will actually beat the shit out of you if you break her heart again.”
“I know that too.”
He looks at me, a smile cracking through his older brother facade ready to do anything to protect his baby sister. “So, what’s your plan?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him glumly, realizing I’m all out. There’s nothing else I can do to convince her she can trust me again. As much as I don’t deserve another chance, I’d crawl to her on my hands and knees to earn it, but I don’t know if that’ll be enough. “She told me…me loving her isn’t enough. She doesn’t trust me to not hurt her again. And as much as I’ll do whatever it takes, I don’t think it’s enough to convince her to trust me.”
“You’re going to have to make it enough.”
A small smile teases my lips, a little surprised at his change in attitude. “What happened to kicking my ass?”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ll still kick your ass if I need to,” he clarifies with a mocking chuckle. “But…I can’t imagine you doing what her idiot husband did to her. Or anything even remotely close.”
“Yeah,” I answer with a scoff.
“And she might not trust you. At least not yet, but a part of me does, and if you give it all you have, you might be able to convince her to start trusting you again. Once she does, once she realizes what you’re willing to do for her, then maybe you can earn the rest of it back.”