Chapter 11
MYLES
I walk in the front door, slipping off my shoes and set them on the rack next to my mom’s sandals, trying to ignore Adam’s bright purple tennis shoes right below them.
He’s so different from us. From Mom.
Our once white and beige house has been taken over by trinkets and splashes of color everywhere I look. It’s not my home anymore.
Sweet and tangy barbecue filters into our house through the open slider leading to the back patio. Adam is at the grill while Mom sets the table.
I know I should be happy to see them smiling and laughing, but it only reminds me of the way things used to be when Dad was around. He loved to grill dinner outside, and seeing Adam there feels like we’ve replaced him.
My legs are heavy as I saunter closer.
“Hi, baby,” Mom says, kissing my forehead as soon as I’m in reach. “How was your day?”
It was horrible, but I know better than to make her worry. “Not bad.”
She scowls, intently focusing on my face. “Is that a bruise?”
I turn away. “It’s nothing. I fell.”
“On your face?” Adam asks.
Not helpful, Adam.
“I was carrying a lot and it just sort of happened,” I say, searching for anything else to take the focus off me. “It smells good. Is dinner almost ready?”
Adam holds up his spatula with a smile. “Almost.”
I brush past Mom, trying to avoid any more questions about school. I’m not a good liar, and I’m afraid if she gets me talking, she’ll learn the truth.
“What did you do today?” I ask, redirecting the conversation.
Mom spends the next few minutes telling me about her work day before Adam comes over to the table, carrying a plate loaded with hot dogs and burgers.
He picks up the burger on top with a pair of tongs and sets it on a separate plate.
“I used pepper jack for yours,” he says, putting the plate in front of me.
“Thanks,” I manage, even though part of me hates that he remembers little details like the type of cheese I prefer. I wish he’d ignore me instead of trying so hard.
“And there’s cheddar on the others,” he says, winking at my mother.
My stomach twists. I can’t help it.
Mom runs around the table making sure everyone has something to drink, then she runs back inside for mustard. When she comes back, she sets it next to the twenty million other condiments we have.
The rest of dinner isn’t bad, but when we finish eating, Mom stands to clear the table and leaves me alone with Adam.
Adam stirs in his chair. Then he pulls something out of his pocket and looks at me nervously. “I know you’re bummed about not playing baseball this season so I got you something.”
He sets three tickets on the table. Not just any tickets, though. They’re baseball tickets.
I want to throw up.
“I thought we could all go to a game together—”
“I’m too busy,” I say. I understand he’s trying to be nice, but there’s no way I’m going to a game with him. He’s already taken over everything else. I can’t let him have this too.
Adam scratches the back of his head. “Are you sure you can’t find the time for one evening?”
I shake my head, already out of my chair. “I’m really busy with homework. I don’t think I can.”
My head pounds and I need to go. I need to get away from the suffocating feeling I get every time we’re together.
Before Adam has time to stand, I’m already halfway into the house. I practically run up the stairs to my room. I close the blinds and sit on my bed, staring at my wall to clear my thoughts.
There’s a knock. “Can I come in?”
It’s Mom. She steps inside and makes her way over to me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just tired.”
She nods, sitting next to me. “You know he means well.”
“I know.”
“Maybe you could just give it a try another time,” she says.
There’s a picture of my dad and me next to my bedside table. In it I’m wearing his baseball cap and it half covers my eyes while he wraps me up in a hug. Baseball was our thing. Not Adam’s.
“Maybe,” I say, but I have no intention of ever trying to go with Adam.
“Thank you.” She ruffles my hair before leaving my room.
I roll over, staring at the photo of Dad.
I think there’s a part of me that’s worried I’ll forget him if I let someone take his role in my life. Adam has been in my life for a while now, and I’ve accepted his presence. I recognize he isn’t going anywhere, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him. He isn’t my dad.
April 4th, 2024
My whole body is sore from yesterday. Like I’ve been run over by a bulldozer and dragged through a minefield. I tried to sleep last night, but every time I closed my eyes, my mind ran wild. I kept falling asleep only to be awoken by nightmares of being caught in my lie.
My drive to school goes by too fast and I sit in my car, resting my head on the steering wheel because I’m not ready to face a new day yet. My brain hurts from being torn in so many directions.
There’s a tap on my window and I jump.
Mallory stands on the other side of the door in her crisp uniform. There are bags under her eyes and a coffee in her hand.
Even her hair is a little messed up, which is unlike her. It’s normally pulled tightly into a ponytail, but today loose hairs frame her face, making her look more like her sister than usual.
I prop the door open because I know I can’t hide from her. “Hi.”
“Why aren’t you answering my calls?”
I grab my bag and trudge out of my car, practically falling onto the pavement. “Because I already know what you want.”
She grabs my arm. “And? Do you have it?” she asks with an urgency in her voice that worries me. Why does she need it so badly? It’s just a test.
“I’ll get it.”
She bites her lip. “You swear?”
“I need your help.”
Her eyes widen and she crosses her arms. “Why?”
“I’m not a miracle worker. I don’t know how it’s possible for me to get Mrs. Humphrey out of the room without her locking it and keep her distracted long enough to grab the test.”
Mallory’s jaw rocks as she absorbs what I’m saying. She’s a logical person so I know she’ll understand how unrealistic this is.
“You have to.”
I blink, processing how quickly she disregarded my concerns. My head pounds trying to wrap around this impossible task when I have one day left to achieve it. It’s outrageous.
“Are you serious?”
Her nostrils flare as her eyes water like she’s about to cry. “You want to keep playing baseball, right?”
I don’t answer because she already knows I do.
“Then get me that test,” she says. There isn’t an ounce of empathy when she speaks.
Her tone is as cold as the arctic, and I can’t help but wonder what’s gotten into her.
She used to take pride in herself for all her hard work.
Why is she so determined to cheat all of a sudden? It doesn’t make sense.
As a kid I remember when she’d spent hours in her room creating her project for the science fair.
She chose to do her project on biodegradable plastics and how much better they’d be for the Earth.
While I played with Emma in the room across from hers, I caught glimpses of Mallory cutting up pieces of bottles and gluing them to a giant poster board.
I remember construction paper, scissors, and countless plastic bottles surrounding her on the floor.
There was a glow about her as she put her project together, smiling as she held a piece of paper up in the air as she cut it.
She won first place, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her as happy as she was that day. There was a gold medal hanging from her neck and she wore it proudly as her dad hugged her.
“There’s my little genius,” he’d said, patting her head.
She smiled up at him with stars in her eyes, like she had the entire world.
But as Mallory stands in front of me, there isn’t even a hint of that joy left. Her eyes are bloodshot, and there’s a heaviness pulling all her features down. Like she’s exhausted and it’s taking all her energy to stay awake.
“There’s got to be another way,” I say. “Maybe you can talk to Mrs. Humphrey and get extra credit or something—”
“No. I need this.” She bites her lip again hard, to the point I notice her lip tear beneath her teeth, but her eyes are hard and focused on me. “You have until the end of the day. Get it or your secret is out.”
“Okay. I’ll figure it out.”
“Good,” she says. Her face relaxes slightly, and she steps back. “I don’t want to do this, you know.”
My eyes shift off to the side. “You don’t have to.”
“Well, it’s like how you have to play baseball,” she mumbles before walking away.
But I do. It’s a need I can’t explain, and then it hits me.
Maybe there’s something engraved into Mallory, a need to be perfect that’s as powerful as my need to play baseball.
Maybe Mallory and I aren’t so different.
We’re both caught in a web of lies, trying to get what we want, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’m any happier than she is.
I’m drowning too, but it’s too late to back out now.
I lock my car and start my way into the school, my feet dragging the entire way up the steps.
I just want the day to be over already. I want to crawl back into bed and sleep until next week.
I swear my head is about to explode, but I tell myself it’s almost over.
After I get the test to Mallory, we’ll be even.
She’ll lose her leverage once she cheats because I can hold that against her.
Despite my sluggish steps, I make it to my locker with plenty of time to drop off my books.
As I turn the dial to the first digit of my combination, a force knocks me forward and I hit the metal door.
Emma leans her back on the locker next to mine. Her arms are crossed and she glares at me.
“What was that for?”
“You said you never talk to Mallory, so what was that about?”
I shrug, bringing my attention back to the dial.
“I saw you talking to her outside,” she says, pushing me again.
I don’t have time for this. I need to figure out how to get into Mrs. Humphrey’s room, and I can tell Emma is about to make today another nightmare. It’s like she knows the worst possible times to show up and ruin my life.
“Why are you lying about it? Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
I tilt my head up to meet her eyes. “Why would I talk to you?”
“I’m going to figure it out—”
I slam the locker shut. “Fine. Let’s talk.” I face her fully and grab her arm.
“Really?”
“Yup. Come with me,” I say, even though I don’t have the slightest intention of talking to her. I don’t have time to play this game. I'm already dealing with one Adler. I don’t have the brain capacity to handle another right now. I’m done.
“Where are we going?” Emma asks, digging her heels into the ground.
“Somewhere quiet so we can talk.” I pull her down the hallway, scanning the area for a way to contain Emma long enough I can get away. I need time to come up with a plan without Emma sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, so I head to the only place I can think of.
We head outside, my eyes set on the supply shed all the coaches use to store gear. It’s not far from the back entrance to the school, but it’s far enough to get Emma off my back for a while.
“Is it quiet enough for you yet?” she says, trying to shake off my grip.
I don’t say anything as I punch in the code to the padlock. Staying late after practice all these years to help clean up is really paying off since it isn’t a code everyone knows. I highly doubt Emma does.
“Why aren’t you talking? I thought—”
I open the door and push her inside.
“Myles!” she screams, trying to push her way back out. “What are you doing? Don’t you dare leave me here!”
I shove her out of the way and slam the door shut.
She bangs her fists on the door. “Let me out of here, you jerk!”
I hit the door back. “Stop following me!”
My chest heaves as I take in a rough breath and stare at the door, second-guessing what I just did. Is this too far?
But I remember the way she treated me after she killed Duke, and I walk away.
Someone will be here soon enough to let her out. It’s not like she’ll be here forever, and I don’t have any more time to waste.