Chapter 25 #2
That only makes me want to kiss her more. “Want to find out?” I ask, aiming for her lips again.
“Myles,” she says with a laugh in her voice as I kiss her smile. “The game is important to you. We need to go.”
I kiss her one more time before I break away with a sigh. I know she’s right, but I don’t want to stop.
The sun is shining on her, leaving a warm glow on her hair, and her cheeks are so pink I don’t know how I’m supposed to focus on anything but her.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
How could I not? She’s beautiful, and no matter how much she’s changed, right now she’s proved her kind heart is still alive and well.
She’s putting me first. There has to be a part of her that’s scared to go home, and yet here she is, telling me to go back because she knows what this game means to me.
“How could you ever think you weren’t good enough for me?” I ask, but it’s not really a question.
Her gaze falters and her hand runs through her hair like she’s embarrassed.
I reach over and run my thumb over her cheek, and her eyes lift to meet mine again.
“You’re more than enough,” I say.
Her eyes glaze over. Then she grabs my face in her hands and presses her mouth to mine again without hesitation. Without time to second-guess. She kisses me like she’s dying and I’m the cure.
My pulse skyrockets as her lips move against mine and I’m in agony when she breaks away because the kiss is too short.
“Okay, now we can go,” she says.
She leans back with a timid smile while I’m left in the driver’s seat stunned like a lovesick puppy, unable to move.
“Are you sure?” I choke out, secretly hoping she’s not finished with me.
“Yeah,” she says. “I just had to do that, but I’m good now.”
“Oh, good.” My voice is too high, and my face is hot.
I don’t think I’m going to get used to this anytime soon, but I think I prefer it that way.
“What are you waiting for? Start driving or we’ll be late,” she says like she didn’t just obliterate my ability to think clearly.
I breathe out slowly, trying to collect myself. I thought she was distracting sitting next to me before, but this is a whole new level. It’s almost unbearable driving the rest of the way back because all I can do is hold her hand.
I pull into the school’s parking lot just in time to warm up with the team. They’re out on the field, practicing batting while they wait for the other team to arrive. I’m exhausted, but the adrenaline of the roller coaster I’ve been on today is keeping me upright.
“Are you nervous?” Emma asks as I park the car.
“A little bit,” I say. I’ve been looking forward to this game for so long, and I’m finally here. “What if after all of this, I suck?”
“That’s impossible. You’re Myles Green. You were born to play baseball.”
I smile at her cute optimism even though there’s still a part of me that’s worried I might mess up.
Emma gets out of the car and follows me to the trunk, where I take out my duffel bag, hoisting it over my shoulder.
She stares at me with a silly smile.
“What?”
“I miss seeing you in your little baseball outfit.”
I laugh. “Excuse me? My what?”
“You heard me,” she says.
“It’s a baseball uniform.”
“My bad.” She lifts her fist to her mouth and clears her throat. “Your little baseball uniform.”
I glare at her even though I’m secretly obsessed with how she’s teasing me. “You’re going to get yourself in trouble.”
She shrugs, eyeing me. “I think I’m okay with that.”
“Oh really?” I ask with a glint in my eye.
She steps farther away, catching on to what I’m about to do. “Don’t.”
But she knows better and takes off running toward the school entrance.
I run up behind her just as she’s about to reach the steps and wrap my arms around her waist.
“Gotcha,” I say.
She squeals as I tousle her hair.
“You cheated. Your legs are longer.”
“You had a head start.”
She shakes her head, but she’s laughing. “Get inside already. They’re probably wondering where you are.”
We walk into the mostly empty school and make our way to the locker room. Emma waits outside the door.
A couple guys are still in here. Sam is bent over tying his shoe and talking to Leo, but the second the door closes behind me the room falls quiet. They both look up at me with wide eyes.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Sam whispers.
“It died.”
But before I can say anything else, Coach steps out of his office. His arms are crossed across his chest and his eyes are hardened. “Green, my office now.” Then he gestures to the other two boys. “Get out on the field already.”
“Shouldn’t I get ready too?” I ask.
“You won’t be playing,” he says.
A lump forms in the back of my throat, and my blood runs cold. I know this can only mean one thing. He knows.
My hand shakes at my side as I step forward.
Sam locks eyes with me and mouths, “Are you okay?”
No. I’m not okay. I feel like I’m going to throw up, but I can’t say that. I don’t want to drag him into this. I don’t want him to get in trouble for my choices, so I nod.
I can tell he doesn't believe me, but Leo grabs his arm and they both leave the room.
Coach holds the door to his office wide open, and I step forward.
Mom sits in the far corner.
My heart sinks to my feet, and I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
Her eyes flick toward me for a brief second before she focuses on the wall in front of her.
She can’t even look at me.
“Take as long as you need,” Coach says to my mom before stepping out and closing the door behind him.
This is bad. Really bad.
“How could you?” she says, anger and disappointment laced in every word. “Do you realize how worried I was when the school called?”
My brow furrows. Why would the school call her about me playing baseball? “What do you mean?”
“You can’t be serious.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “They called me because you stole a test, and when I came in, I not only found out you skipped school, but you’ve been lying to me too.”
I don’t understand what happened. How did the school find out about the test? What about Mallory?
My breath gets caught in my throat. Guilt pulls at me because I know I shouldn’t have done any of it. No matter how badly I wanted to play, I hate hearing the hurt in her voice. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? That’s all you have to say?” When she looks back at me, her eyes are strained and watery, making me feel like I’m being punched without being touched. “This isn’t like you.”
“I know.”
That only makes her more upset. She shakes her head and she stirs in her chair. “I don’t understand, Myles. What is going on with you?”
“I wanted to play baseball.”
Her gaze rises to the ceiling and she blinks. “It’s just a game.”
“You don’t understand.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand because you don’t talk to me anymore. You’re never home and when you are, you hide in your room the whole time.”
“What do you expect me to do? Adam is always around.”
She flinches, lips falling. “Of course he is. He’s part of our family.”
“He’s your family!” I don’t know why but my throat is getting tight and my eyes sting as I think about seeing her with him. It doesn’t matter how much time has gone by. It’s wrong. “You, me, and dad. That’s my family.”
Her face loses color. “Do you not like Adam?”
“He’s not my dad,” I choke out, unable to keep my tears in anymore.
Her hand touches her lips and tears fill her eyes.
“Everything changed when Adam showed up! You took down all of our family pictures, and our house smells different. We eat different food and we watch different shows.” My body trembles, and my head spins.
“I feel lost in my own home. Baseball is the only thing I have left of Dad, and you want to take that away too!”
My chest feels like it’s about to explode. Like my heart is trying to pump too much blood at once and I have no way to relieve the pressure.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
My fingers grow numb at my side. “Because you’re happy now.”
But you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. She’s crying as hard as I am. “I want us all to be happy.”
“How can I be happy when I hear you laughing and talking in the hallway”—my voice catches, cracking mid-word—“and I have to remind myself it’s you and Adam, not you and Dad?”
I know it shouldn’t bother me when Dad’s been gone for so long, but seeing Adam fill my dad’s shoes ripped the wound wide open again. No one told me how it would feel to see someone kiss my mom and hold her hand like my dad used to.
And no one told me how guilty I’d feel for hating it. For wishing Adam wasn’t around even though it would mean she’d be lonely.
“Myles . . .” Mom says, but she trails off. “Let’s figure this out.”
But how? There’s no way to fix this. It’s not like there’s a way to get my dad back, and Adam isn’t going anywhere. All I did was make it worse. Now my mom’s crying and I’ve ruined my chances of playing baseball the rest of the year.
My whole future is slipping through my hands and there is nothing I can do.
The room is closing in on me, and when I try to breathe, it’s like the air can’t reach my lungs.
I aim for the door, but my mom jumps up and holds on to me. “Myles, stop. We aren’t finished.”
My tears are hot on my cheeks when I look at her. I hate that I hurt her, and seeing her cry makes me want to vomit. “Please,” I beg. “Let me go.”
She does.