Chapter 32
MYLES
I can’t breathe.
I can’t see.
I can’t think.
“I need out of here!” I yell.
I’m pounding on the glass.
I’m throwing my chair.
I’m being restrained.
I’m crying.
My arms are held back by a guard and I fight his grasp, thrashing my legs against his. I yell out repeatedly, hoping someone will pull me out of this nightmare. No one does.
I won’t believe it. It’s a lie. It has to be.
Emma is dead and there isn’t anything I can do but hate myself for not protecting her. I waited in jail for an entire year to save her life only for her to leave me anyway.
It isn’t fair.
Emma isn’t just anyone. She’s my Emma. The girl who wiped my tears away when I was little and scared. The girl who fell asleep in my desk chair in the far corner of my room while I studied. The girl who snuck into my room just to hold my hand.
I can’t accept the idea of never touching her again. Of never breathing the same air as her. Of never watching her eyes light up when she talks.
I hate myself for letting us drift apart when I should’ve known better. If I had known what was going through her head when her mom left, none of this would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have wasted years ignoring her.
I ignored her. She needed me and I ignored her.
I scream because it’s the only thing I can do. My chest aches like I’m being stabbed. I gasp for air, but I’m suffocating.
She’s a part of me. She’s ingrained into my soul, and I can’t let her go.