Chapter 15
What was I thinking? Mac wondered as he sat in The North Star and waited for Alison to join him at the table.
He’d arrived a whole hour early – too nervous to hang around at home – and had found himself keeping Briar company at the bar before bagging the table under the largest of the bay windows half an hour before Alison was due to arrive.
He figured that if conversation ran dry, they’d at least be able to look out into the darkness and gaze at the distant lights that gleamed from the Lincolnshire shore, rather than stare dumbly at their plates.
Despite the bitterly cold February weather, Kelsea Sands was looking beautiful today in the gathering dusk.
The tide was out, and the Humber mudflats seemed to stretch on forever as he gazed out of the window and watched a ship in the distance, heading inland towards Hull.
He could see the North Sea in the distance where the river tumbled between the Lincolnshire coast and Kels Point in its rush to join it.
He’d forgotten this. Somehow, in all the years since he’d left this place to go to university, the memory of how utterly incredible Kelsea Sands was had faded.
In the years that followed, as he pursued his career, married, had children, ran his business, this tiny village in Holderness had seemed like a distant dream.
In his busy, suburban life it had hardly seemed possible that such a place could really exist.
In his mind it had almost become like Narnia, or one of Enid Blyton’s secret islands – some magical place he’d read about once, long ago, when anything had seemed possible.
It was almost funny, he mused, how he’d always put off coming back here when his mum was alive.
Rather than go back to that forgotten little corner of East Yorkshire, he’d invited his mother to visit him instead, believing that he was bestowing some great favour upon her.
She rarely left Kelsea Sands, and he’d reasoned that it would do her good to get away, especially as Stella and Gavin had promised to care for the animals while she was gone.
He’d honestly believed that he was giving her a treat when he’d welcomed her to his home in Oxfordshire for the first time.
He remembered, with some shame, the showing off he’d done as he’d taken her round the town he lived in, assuming that she’d be impressed and even awed at how pretty it was, how lovely his house was and how well he’d done.
When it came to the day she’d been due to leave, he’d suggested that she stay an additional week, thinking she’d jump at the chance. He’d been stunned when she’d declined his offer and given him a regretful smile.
‘Thanks, love, it’s good of you to ask, but I can’t wait to get home. I miss the river and the sea air. Can’t beat that when all’s said and done. Mind you, I’m glad you’re settled here. I can see it suits you.’
The implication being that it definitely didn’t suit her.
He smiled to himself now, remembering how crushed he’d felt at the time. He really hadn’t understood her longing to return to this insignificant little patch in a forgotten corner of England. He’d been away too long.
Being back here now, he realised all too well why she’d yearned for Watersmeet, and these views over the Humber to Lincolnshire.
Oxfordshire was stunningly beautiful, but his mum had Holderness in her heart forever. Now he remembered why.
The sound of chair legs scraping on the slate floor brought him back to the present and he realised it had grown dark outside. He turned, his heart thudding as he saw Alison. She gave him a nervous smile as she sat down, dropping her shoulder bag in the seat next to hers.
‘You made it then.’
He’d said it as if she lived miles away and had faced some epic journey to get here, not a half-mile stroll.
‘I did. Amazing, right?’ She rolled her eyes, and he knew she was thinking much the same thing. He was so out of practice at this! He would never have asked her normally, but Evan’s words had come back to him as he’d stood in that petrol station.
‘You mustn’t be alone, Mac. Someone in your position – you need people to talk to.’
He was right. The one thing Mac had learned over the last few years was that no man was an island, and he should have people around him.
If he was going to stay at Watersmeet he had to keep himself occupied.
He needed friends. He had a feeling that Evan could become one if he let it happen, and maybe Alison could be another. It was a start anyway.
‘It’s been a lovely day, hasn’t it?’ she said. ‘I mean, it was still cold but did you see the blue sky! The blue makes such a difference, doesn’t it? Nothing more depressing than grey skies.’
She was rambling and he realised she was just as nervous as he was, which made him feel better. He wanted to put her at her ease.
‘It will soon be spring,’ he said comfortingly. ‘It’s just around the corner.’
‘I love spring,’ she told him. ‘It’s my favourite season. I’m glad I’ll be here for it.’
‘Me too,’ he said, then gulped. ‘That I will be, I mean. It’s been a long time since I saw spring in Kelsea Sands.’
She nodded. ‘I still can’t believe you’re back. I heard – I mean, everyone’s saying…’
She squirmed and he took pity on her. ‘Go on,’ he said gently. ‘What are they saying?’
‘Well, about the will and that. They reckon your mum left everything to you and poor Stella got diddly squat.’
He flipped a beermat repeatedly between his fingers. ‘Not true,’ he said at last. ‘Stella got plenty. I got the house because Mum wants me to look after her animals, and she knew Stella already had somewhere to live and—’
Realising what he’d said, he broke off and swallowed. Bloody hell! How could he have been so unguarded as to let that slip?
Alison laughed. ‘What, and you didn’t?’
‘Well, you know what I mean. She was settled,’ he said, hoping his explanation would satisfy her. ‘And I… wasn’t.’
‘You weren’t? How come?’ She leaned back and held up her hands. ‘Sorry! That’s none of my business. You don’t have to tell me.’
‘Shall we order a drink?’ he asked. ‘Then we’ll have a proper catch-up. What are you having?’
She nodded. ‘Diet Coke, please. No ice.’
‘Good to keep a clear head,’ he said, smiling. ‘I’ll have the same. Well, maybe not the diet version but a Coke sounds good. Won’t be a minute.’
He wandered over to the bar where Seb’s lad Sam had evidently replaced Briar, and was perched on a stool, reading the local newspaper.
‘All right, Sam? Can I order, please?’
Sam glanced up and smiled, shifting off the stool immediately. ‘All right, Mac. Ah, Briar said you were on a date. I see she’s arrived.’ He nodded knowingly to where Alison was sitting, gazing out of the window into the darkness.
‘Just two old schoolfriends catching up,’ Mac said. He hesitated. ‘Your dad could join us, if he likes. He was in our class, too.’
Sam’s face clouded over. ‘I wish. Even if I asked him he’d say no.
He barely shifts out of his room these days except to wander down to Kels Point, and he hasn’t done much of that over the winter, what with the rain and that.
I’m hoping that, come spring, he’ll get a bit of his get-up-and-go back.
Mind you, it’s been three years now, so maybe it’s got up and gone. ’
‘I’m sorry, lad.’ Mac shook his head. ‘Do you think he’ll ever come back to work? He’s young to have given it all up to do nothing.’ Oh, the irony!
‘You’re telling me.’ Sam sighed. ‘I keep hoping but… Ah well. What can I get you, Mac?’
‘A Diet Coke and a regular Coke, please. No ice.’
‘Steady on. I don’t want to have to carry you both home.’ Sam laughed and poured two drinks into glasses. ‘There you go, mate. Do you want to start a tab? Pay before you leave.’
‘Great. Cheers, Sam. Give Seb my best, won’t you? Tell him if he ever wants to come round to Watersmeet for a chat I’m usually in. It would be great to see him again.’
‘Will do. Thanks.’
Mac carried the drinks carefully back to the table and sat down with a sigh.
‘Oh dear. That sigh sounded ominous. What’s up?’ Alison asked, taking her glass from him with a nod of thanks.
Mac glanced towards the bar, but Sam had gone back to his paper. ‘We were just talking about his dad,’ he explained. ‘It’s a crying shame, the way Seb’s hiding away from the world like that since his wife died.’
Alison took a sip of her Coke. ‘I guess everyone reacts differently to grief,’ she said cautiously.
‘But you’re right. It’s been three years, and though I feel for him – God knows, I really do – I think it’s time he stopped wallowing and started living his life again. Donna wouldn’t want this for him.’
‘What was she like?’ Mac asked, having never met Seb’s wife.
‘Donna? She was lovely. Proper landlady material, all jolly and friendly and welcoming. She was the heart of this place.’ She glanced around. ‘It’s not really been the same since she died.’
‘I don’t know how it stays open,’ Mac murmured. ‘I’ve been in here three times now since I got back, and there’s never been more than a handful of people in. How do they keep going?’
Alison laughed. ‘Oh, don’t be fooled! It’s quiet now, but you wait until spring. When the crowds return to Kels Point and the nature lovers and birdwatchers come back and invade the wetlands this place’ll be heaving. Always is.’
‘I remember when I was a kid,’ Mac mused.
‘Mum and Dad used to come here for the shanty night on Saturdays. Me and Stella used to climb on the benches outside and peer through the windows to see what was going on. The windows were open in the summer, and the music used to blare out, so Stella used to sing along with it. She loved it.’ He shook his head, smiling at the memory.
‘Hard to imagine her singing along with sea shanties these days.’
‘Hard to imagine you climbing on benches and looking through the windows,’ Alison said wryly.
‘What do you mean?’