Chapter 22 #2
‘We were going to have a proper party for her,’ she said, ‘but she wanted it this way. I suppose it’s so she gets to celebrate twice, which is quite crafty of her. Blimey! How have all those sandwiches gone so fast?’
She hurried off to the kitchen to whip up more of them, since Alison’s dad had stormed through the first lot like a plague of locusts.
Alison sipped her SlimKwik and tried not to look at the mini quiches and the savoury filo pastry triangles and the little samosas that were calling her name.
‘Mum?’
She almost choked on her rather disgustingly synthetic-tasting chocolate drink as Jenna moved beside her.
‘Hello, love!’ Alison swallowed hard, trying her best to look and sound casual and welcoming all at the same time. ‘How are you?’
Jenna, she thought, looked pale and thinner. She’d lost weight and it was more noticeable than her own weight loss, which was a bit galling. Not a single person had remarked that she’d looked thinner, but there was no mistaking it on her daughter.
Jenna shrugged. ‘Fine. You know.’ She handed Alison an envelope. ‘Mother’s Day card for tomorrow.’
‘Oh!’ Alison nodded. ‘Thanks.’
‘I didn’t know what to get you so there’s a voucher inside.
’ Jenna hesitated then sighed. ‘Look, I know a lot’s been said and I know we can’t turn the clock back, but I want to know if you’d be willing to see the twins.
Not overnight or anything,’ she added hastily.
‘Just for a few hours one day. They really miss you and it’s not fair.
Whatever’s gone on between us we shouldn’t make them pay the price. ’
‘I’m glad you see it that way,’ Alison said hesitantly. ‘But really, I said from the beginning that I’d be happy to have them, didn’t I? It was Joel who said I was banned from—’
Jenna gave her a startled look. ‘What?’
Alison frowned. ‘Joel. He told me that if I wasn’t willing to babysit the twins as usual then I wasn’t allowed to see them any longer. Actually,’ she added, ‘he told me that was your decision, and he was just passing on the message.’
Jenna hung her head and turned away. ‘Right.’
Alison touched her arm. ‘You didn’t know, did you?’
‘He was just angry,’ Jenna said defensively. ‘He could see how upset I was and how much hassle it was causing me, fixing up alternative arrangements. That’s all.’
‘Really?’ Alison eyed her steadily and Jenna’s cheeks flushed.
‘Look, whatever was said and done the question remains. Will you have the girls for an afternoon? For their sakes, not mine. You got out of the half-term holiday, so you can’t say I’m just using you, because I’d have contacted you earlier if I needed you for that.’
‘Got out of the half-term holiday?’ Alison gasped. ‘It was your half-term holiday, too. It’s not like you had to work the entire week and needed childcare, is it?’
‘You know as well as I do that school holidays involve work for teachers,’ Jenna said frostily. ‘I had lessons to plan, marking to do…’
‘And every evening free to do it,’ Alison pointed out. ‘Unless, of course, you’d made other plans?’
Jenna glared at her. ‘I can see I’m wasting my time.’
‘No, no, you’re not. I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.
’ Alison sighed. ‘Look, of course I’ll have the twins one afternoon.
I’ll pick them up and take them out for the day.
Your grandma and grandad would love to spend more time with them,’ she added, nodding over to where her parents were happily chatting to the twins and her mother was showing off her plaster cast to the girls, who were begging to be allowed to draw on it.
‘Okay, but only if you’re sure. I wouldn’t want to be a burden.’
Alison gave her daughter a sharp look. ‘Are you ever going to let this go? I’ve messaged you a few times now and you’ve ignored every one. Is this how it’s going to be from now on?’
Jenna stared at her for a moment, then she rubbed her temples and said, ‘I’m sorry, Mum, it’s just—’
Ada came running over and grabbed Alison’s hand. ‘Can we see the caravan then, Grandma? When are you coming home? We don’t like you being away so long.’
Alison and Jenna gazed at each other and Jenna said, ‘Whenever you like, Mum. It’s up to you.’
‘Shall we say next Saturday night then?’ Alison said brightly to Ada. ‘I’ll come and pick you up after work and take you round our posh caravan, then we’ll see Great-Granny and Grandad, and maybe I’ll take you for dinner at the pub on Sunday before I drop you home. What do you say?’
Ada whooped and ran off to tell her twin sister the good news.
‘Thanks, Mum.’
‘Are you sure you’re okay, Jenna?’ Alison asked anxiously. ‘If there’s anything—’
‘I’m fine. Just tired. You know what teaching’s like.’ Jenna managed a wan smile. ‘Takes it out of you, doesn’t it?’
It had certainly taken it out of Alison, but she’d had only one child to care for at home, and a supportive, loving husband. Joel was never there, and even though he clearly wanted to protect and defend his wife, was that enough? Jenna needed him by her side.
Should she put her own selfish needs aside and go home? If her daughter needed her…
‘Jenna—’
Her voice was drowned out as a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ erupted and everyone sang to the birthday girl, who stood looking suitably embarrassed until they’d finished.
As the cheering and clapping began Jenna moved towards the table where the twins were urging Poppy to blow out her candles and make a wish.
Alison took a step forward.
‘Don’t even think about it.’ Rosie’s hand was tight on her arm. ‘I heard every word, and I know what you’re going to do. Leave it, Ali. Please.’
‘But she needs me,’ Alison said sadly.
‘She needs to sort out her life if she’s not happy with it,’ Rosie said firmly.
‘Just as you’re doing right now. If you go back things will slot into place exactly as they were before.
You’ll be busy and stressed and resentful, the diet will go out the window and you’ll be right back at square one.
You need to fix yourself, and if Jenna’s not happy she needs to fix herself, too. ’
As Alison hesitated, Rosie’s voice softened. ‘Look, I know how you’re feeling, and I get that you think she’s your responsibility, but she’s a grown woman. You need to focus on your health right now – physical and mental. Please, Ali.’
Alison nodded. Rosie was right. If she went home things would never change, and she needed to remember how unhappy she’d been.
She had to think about getting her blood sugar down and figuring out what she was going to do with the rest of her life – because the truth was, she was happy in Kelsea Sands, and though she’d never imagined it possible, she was quite happy living in the caravan with Rosie.
She’d never felt more relaxed, and her stress levels had only risen when she thought about Jenna, which said a lot.
She would take the twins on Saturday, as agreed, and if she was allowed, she would see them every weekend, or every other weekend.
But that had to be the limit of her involvement for now.
She couldn’t get dragged back into a situation that was wearing her down.
Not until she was stronger in her own mind about what she wanted for herself and her future.