Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Samantha
I got up and walked over to the dangling harness, struggling to untangle it and all my emotions as Caleb dragged himself over, bracing himself against the side of the cliff for support.
The makeshift harness was made of rope and knots, and I fretted as I tried to figure out how to get him to climb into it. I was afraid that he would refuse and say something ridiculous, like he was climbing up himself or something I couldn’t even predict. Anyway, I braced myself for an argument.
Figures that the first great kiss I’d gotten in I-don’t-remember-how-long was from someone dehydrated, concussed, and in shock. Oh, and let’s not forget to add “out of his mind.” No one should go around kissing people in that state, because someone could actually believe it was real.
“Let me see that.” By this time, he was standing on one leg, leaning against the cliff. He reached over me and took the harness from my hands. I could feel the shade from his big body, the heat, smell the scent of his soap and the smell of warm sun on skin. I made sure not to look him in the eye because honestly, I was feeling so many things.
How could this be happening? Maybe I was the one with a concussion. My heart was pounding, I felt flushed (but to be fair, it was sunny and very hot), and I felt an impossible rush of awareness. He’d said he wasn’t into Lilly. But could I believe that?
I needed to get both of us out of here ASAP and get this entire weekend to end. Then, with a little luck, I’d go back to work and start hating him again and things would go back to normal. Easy peasy.
Caleb figured out the ins and outs of the harness and held it in a ready-to-go position. Then he nudged his head at it. “Get in.”
“Excuse me?” Was there nothing he wouldn’t fight me on?
“You heard me.” He sounded a little out of breath from the pain. “Get in.”
“Um, no.” I grabbed hold of the harness. “You’re going up first.”
“I’m not.” He cupped his hands over his mouth. “Sam’s coming up. You guys ready?”
Maybe he wanted me to go first to be the guinea pig, but I didn’t think so. This appeared to totally be a Caleb-being-protective move.
He said, “Thank you for trying to save me. But I want you to go up first. If something happens, I’ll be here to break your fall. And that might not make sense, but you can’t change my mind, so just do as I’m asking. Please. Okay?”
He wanted to make sure I was safe. Not only that, but this was also important to him. I could see it in his eyes. This astounded me, someone hurt who put himself second. And me first. Had that ever happened in my life? It nearly brought me to tears, but I didn’t have time for tears now. I had to help us both out of here.
His expression was unyielding and formidable. I seemed to be learning when there was no point arguing. “If you insist,” I said, then shoved a leg through the leg opening, then a second. I ended up with a bunch of ropes supporting my legs and my ass.
“One more thing.” He was holding on to the rope above my head and on my leg. His face was very close, a little flushed from the heat, a little sweaty. But his eyes were urgent, demanding me to listen. “One more kiss—a goodbye one.”
“You are delirious.” I was afraid, because getting him up was going to be challenging—not to mention painful. I was pumped full of adrenaline, shaky and lightheaded, and I wasn’t sure how much of it was from this harrowing experience or from being so close to him and from everything he’d just said.
“Maybe. But you’ll regret it if you don’t. I mean, anything could happen.” He gave me a crooked, winning smile that I know took effort.
“Don’t make light of this.” I felt elated and close to tears. Dizzy, hot and clammy, all at once.
“You ready, Samantha?” Brax again. “I can’t see you. You’re going to have to move over a few feet.”
“One—one second,” I said.
Caleb was standing there, holding on to the side of the cliff for support, vulnerable, expectant.
I started to cry.
“Women don’t usually cry when I ask to kiss them.”
“This isn’t a joke to me.”
He pushed himself off from the cliff and grabbed me for support. Yet he steadied me with his hands on my arms. “It’s going to be okay.”
Somehow I sensed he wasn’t talking about his health or my health or getting us both back to safety. I was almost sure he was talking about us .
He leaned in and kissed me on the forehead.
I reached over and held his face in my hands. His precious face. I was teary, my emotions overcoming me. I kissed him on the lips quickly, intending to pull back, but he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again, softly, pulling me closer, then kissing me deeply.
If I was dizzy before, I was positively vertiginous now.
The kiss was sweet and earnest and confident, expert and deep and promising. And it was over way too soon. Caleb drew back, and then he spoke. Which was more than I was capable of.
“There you are.” He tugged on the main rope. “All trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey.”
I gave him a look.
“A cute turkey.” He winked. Which made me incredulous because how could he crack jokes now?
“I really wish you’d?—”
“Bye,” he said with a satisfied lift of his brow. Then backed up into view of our friends and gave the thumbs-up sign to everyone above. Suddenly, with a jerk of the rope, I was on my way.
Being pulled up was awkward even though I could brace myself with my legs and arms to keep from crashing into the jagged rocks. Not to mention the harness dug into my skin. But Brax and Gabe and two EMS guys from the local fire department got me to the point where I could crawl up the rest of the way on all fours.
Everyone was yelling and cheering. The other guys were on the distal part of the rope—Jason, and Tyler—steadying it with their weight. Mia stood with three more paramedics, whose white SUV was parked nearby. Lilly was off to the side with Marin, wringing her hands and gingerly looking over the drop-off. Fortunately, Tater was nowhere to be found. Good thing, because I was feeling uncomfortably feral impulses toward him and his mom.
Gabe gave me a hand up.
“Caleb’s so damn stubborn,” I said. “I don’t know how he’s going to get himself into that harness without help. He insisted?—”
Gabe reached over and gave me a big, calming hug. “He’s going to be fine.” He pulled back and looked me over. “Pretty ballsy of you to try jumping overboard to save him. You okay?”
“I’m good.”
“You’re worried about him.”
“Yes.” I couldn’t make light. I couldn’t lie.
I wandered over to the edge. Somehow Caleb had gotten the harness around his middle and was suspended, his good leg out to protect the rest of him from the jagged cliff face. “Hope you guys ate your protein for breakfast,” he said as the guys hauled him up.
As soon as he rounded the crest, relief flooded me. I moved toward him, ready to—I don’t know—do something, anything, to help him into the waiting ambulance.
But Lilly ran straight in front of me. “Oh, Caleb, Caleb, I’m so glad you’re okay.” She ran to his side, crying, instantly grabbing his hands. “I’m going in the ambulance with him, okay, guys?”
I backed up, stunned at today’s sudden zeal, her studied indifference all but vanished.
All my emotions toppled around inside me like clothes in a dryer. I was torn between worry and the intense emotional hit from being kissed—and kissed well. I was afraid and agitated and jealous , all at once.
Caleb had decided to navigate away from Lilly when she was indifferent. But what would he do now?
Marin ran up to the back of the EMS vehicle, Tater in tow. “Dr. D’Angelo,” she said, “I am so sorry for this. And I can’t thank you enough for what you did for my son.” She turned to me. “You too, Dr. Bashar. I’m so sorry.”
She pushed Tater forward. His face was beet red from embarrassment. “Yeah. What my mom said. I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t see Caleb’s face, but I saw him reach out a hand, which yet again made me understand what kind of man he was. “Hey, buddy,” he said. “It’s okay. Just be safe.”
Caleb grasped Tater’s hand and shook it and then slid his hand back in some complicated hand thing in that way guys do. To Tater’s credit, he backed away and hugged his mom tight.
“We’ll be happy to cover whatever your insurance won’t,” Marin added as the EMS team closed the doors. “And Tater will be cutting a lot of grass this summer.”
As Caleb was whisked off to the hospital, Lilly glued his side, I turned to find my backpack. It appeared that I’d abandoned it somewhere, along with my common sense.
* * *
Caleb
“There, is that better?” Lilly asked as she pulled and pushed pillows behind my head, jerking my neck accidentally in the process. Which in turn maligned the rest of me and sent a shock wave of pain radiating from my throbbing leg.
We were in the ER, and I didn’t even know how she’d managed to confiscate three pillows from somewhere. It was embarrassing. “Thanks,” I said, “but I really only need one.”
“But three is so much better for your spine.” She rearranged them all again. “Trust me on this.”
Had she always been this bossy? Or was that yet another thing I’d never noticed before? I think I had loved her once, a long time ago, when I was young. But I didn’t anymore. Not in a lasting, give-and-take way.
Also, I needed my phone, which was taken from me before my head CT scan. I’d quietly asked Brax to text Sam and find out how she was doing. He assured me that she was fine and also that they’d sent her all the updates about my sorry ass, in his words.
I was waiting for the okay to be discharged, and I couldn’t bust out of here quick enough. Meanwhile, Lilly patted my shoulder and stood so close our shoulders practically touched. “You saved that boy’s life. You’re a hero.”
To say that Dr. Blumenthal, the ortho doc that I had literally just interviewed with a few weeks ago, was a bit surprised on seeing me, not as a doctor but as a patient, was an understatement. Apparently, he helped to cover the ER in several small communities as well as in Oak Bluff. First of all, he’d laughed. Then he’d said, “Well, hello, Caleb. Glad to see you’re experiencing how our group operates firsthand, eh?”
Then he set my bone and put me in a short-leg cast and crutches, a routine I knew all too well. The pain was still dull and aching, but I felt grateful that things were taken care of. Despite the weeks of crutches and inconvenience, I would be good as new.
Except he probably thought I was an idiot.
I had a little concussion, was a little dehydrated, my leg a little bit broken, my pride a little bruised, but my head CT was okay, and they were booting me out.
At this point, I was also a lot starving.
I was also worried. My right leg was the broken one, and therefore I couldn’t drive. Which led to another question—how was I going to get to work next week? And all the weeks until my cast came off?
I had other worries too. Lilly was being awfully attentive. At one point, she’d even hand-combed my hair. And frankly, all of it was terrifying.
After my cast was done, the cast room tech had wheeled me back into my curtained partition in the ER. Brax and Gabe were each on their phones with suffering expressions on their faces, while Lilly leafed through magazines, sipping something from her giant sparkly pink tumbler. I felt guilty that they were all stuck here on a beautiful spring day.
Brax looked up as I was wheeled into my spot. “Hey, there you are. Whoa, neon green?” he exclaimed, checking out my cast.
“It’s very fashionable,” Lilly said.
“I love it,” Gabe said. “White is boring.”
I shrugged. “Since this is an extended body part for six weeks, hopefully green will hide some dirt. I figured the kids at the hospital would like it.”
Lilly checked her watch. “Glad you’re done. We’ll be back to the farm in time for the cookout and a bonfire.”
I suppressed a moan and forced a smile. I wanted to do a cookout and bonfire about as much as I wanted to get my bone set again. I’d had pretty much enough of farm weekend. All I wanted to do was go home, turn on a game, and put my foot up, which felt like a throbbing hunk of cast iron.
Lilly walked over and rested a hand on my shoulder. “I brought you something full of protein to hold you over until then.”
Oh hurray, food. She handed me a cardboard take-out container. I was appreciative for the thoughtfulness.
A peek inside revealed… lettuce. Lots of it. I mean, I like salad, but my appetite by this point was tomahawk-steak sized. Another glance revealed seeds, cranberries, couscous, and tofu—at least that’s what I thought that was—and kale. I loved healthy food but right now, my appetite was army tank sized. “Thanks,” I said in the most enthusiastic voice I could muster. Which, after all I’d been through, was probably not very much.
“I know you like meat, but it’s really not healthy for you,” she said. “Hope that’s okay. Do you need a pillow for your foot?” She reached down to adjust the pillow propped between my cast and the wheelchair right-leg rest, which was elevated.
As she adjusted the pillow, searing pain ripped through me—again.
At least it temporarily took away my appetite. I bit back any show of agony. “No, it’s fine,” I managed as my pain finally subsided. I caught Brax’s eye. It was full of doom-concern, the kind of look your bro gives you when they know things have gone south fast.
An ER nurse popped her head in our room. “Your paperwork’s almost ready. Someone can go get the car, and we’ll wheel you out to the parking circle in front of the ER. Sound good?”
Lilly left to go to the bathroom or something, and I was left with my friends, neither of whom were speaking. Brax bit down on his cheeks to keep from smiling.
“Eat your seeds,” he said.
“I blame you both for the über-healthy food choice,” I said.
“Lilly offered to grab you something,” Gabe said. “We didn’t have control of what.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s the thought that counts. Thanks for being here. Thanks for everything. I mean it.”
“We can order a pizza and grab it on the way back,” Brax offered.
“I don’t want to make Lilly feel bad. And we should get back—tonight’s the last night. I feel like I ruined the weekend for Ani.”
“I don’t think Ani’s had that great a day either,” Brax said, “but it has nothing to do with you. She’s still angry with Tyler—I guess he told Marin straight-out that her son almost got you and Sam killed.”
“He’s not wrong,” I said. But knowing Tyler, that probably didn’t come out in a civilized way. “Tater’s not a bad kid. He just needs all that boy energy directed somewhere else besides trouble.”
“That’s very generous,” Gabe said.
I shrugged. “How’s Sam doing?” I asked. I looked around. “Does anyone have my phone?”
“Lilly took it,” Brax said. “She said you were getting a lot of texts from Sam.”
Was that why she wasn’t giving it back? If that was the case, this situation was more complicated than I thought. “Sam’s okay?”
“She’s more worried about you,” Brax said. “We’ve been updating her.”
“Lilly’s also aware of you two square-dancing the night away the other night, just FYI,” Gabe said. “She’s mentioned it several times.”
Aha. I wondered if that had been what started Lilly down this path of suddenly being interested in me again. “I care about Sam,” I said.
“Sam?” Brax cleared his throat. “Sam, as in not Lilly ?”
“Yes. Sam,” I said firmly.
Gabe heaved a sigh. “I speak for Brax when I say we’re both thrilled.” Across the room, Brax gave a thumbs-up as he scrolled his phone. “But be careful,” Gabe warned. “Lilly seems to be really shaken up by your near-death experience. I can see this train crashing from miles away. I don’t even need the red lights or the guard rails at a crossing.” He made flashing-light motions with his hands.
“Okay, I’m back,” Lilly said, bursting through the door. A plastic bag with more magazines hung from her wrist. In her hands, she held a drink carrier holding four coffee drinks. “I couldn’t resist a skinny chai. And as a special treat, I got you all one too. With soy milk.”
Forget the throbbing pain. I was literally going to starve to death. As I viewed Lilly, I seemed to see her for the first time. Cute, bubbly, agreeable. But not perfect. Not someone who understood who I was on the inside but who saw me as someone who needed dance lessons, nicer clothes, and a taste for vegan food.
Lilly handed me a coffee, dumped the plastic bag in my lap, and then added her massive purse and chunky sweater. “You don’t mind carrying a few things, do you?”
I held out my hand. “Only if you give me my phone back.”
“Oh, I must’ve forgotten,” Lilly said, rummaging through her purse. “Here you go.”
Funny, but the woman who gave me grief on every front, who openly said she wasn’t looking for a relationship and wouldn’t ask for help if her life depended on it was all I could think of.
“Cay, I was just so frightened,” Lilly said as the nurse wheeled me to the entrance where the guys would pull up in Gabe’s car. “I’m so relieved you’re okay. I-I’ve been thinking about what you said. How this weekend was good for us. How we needed a chance to reconnect.”
The ER nurse was getting an earful, which didn’t seem to concern Lilly. “I’m glad too,” I said. “It’s good to call you a friend .” I put as much emphasis as possible on friend .
“A friend?” she asked, teary-eyed.
I wasn’t sure what she was getting at. Was she glad of that or… was she wanting more?
I did not want more.
This I knew. The realization came as a relief, not a disappointment.
I found my answer. “We spent a lot of years together. I’m glad we can finally put everything behind us and be friends.” I’d said the f word twice. I could only be clearer if I was cruel, and I didn’t think that was necessary. At least, I hoped more elaboration wouldn’t be.
“I mean, when I saw you fall down that hill, I-I just?—”
She got even more teary. That was another thing I’d just recalled: her emotions. So many of them. Up and down all the time.
The nurse had backed up and was now examining items in the gift shop windows behind us, undoubtedly still hearing every word.
I didn’t have an urge to comfort Lilly physically. Which also surprised me. “I’m glad you didn’t want me to die,” I said, joking. “That’s a good sign. I mean, there was a time when you probably came pretty close to feeling that way.”
She laughed. “You’re too funny.”
That broke the more solemn mood and stopped the discussion about our past. The past was done and over. And I couldn’t wait to move on.
“Okay, kids,” the ER nurse said. “Time to go. I’ll wheel you right up to the car.”
I thanked her and managed to fold myself into the passenger seat, managing a nod of thanks to Gabe. As soon as I buckled in, I sent Sam a photo of my cast, told her all was well, and begged her to let me know how she was doing. She responded with three thumbs up emojis and wrote that she’d see me later.
Fortunately, Lilly didn’t say anything else beyond the norm in front of the guys. I was ecstatic when we finally pulled into the gravel lot near the farmhouse. “Home at last,” I said. I grabbed my discharge instructions—and the bag with the salad—from the floor. “Thanks, everyone, for everything.”
“I’ll help you to your cabin,” Lilly said when I managed to get myself out of the car.
“We got him,” Gabe said, intercepting Lilly physically by standing between us and taking my stuff from her. “You can get ready for tonight if you want.”
“Are you coming to the cookout?” she asked me.
“I’ll do my best.” What I really wanted was to go home, but that would mean Sam would have to leave early too, and I figured I’d already put enough of a wrench into Ani’s weekend. I could rally one last night for her sake.
I awkwardly placed my crutches on the uneven ground and headed down the path to the cabin, Brax and Gabe at my sides. How many times had I instructed patients to avoid mashing them into your armpits? Now I got how hard that was.
Somehow I felt like I’d shut a door. One that had been closed for me long ago. But now this time I was the one doing the closing. And it felt like a relief. I just hoped that Lilly got the memo.