Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Samantha
It was nearly eleven that night when I knocked on Caleb’s door, very softly at first. Both of us started our days early enough that going to bed this late was a luxury we couldn’t afford. But then I tossed caution to the wind and rapped more firmly. I had something I had to say, regardless of the time.
He answered wearing navy boxers and a gray T-shirt, the kind that might’ve said something at one time—a band name, a concert, a funny saying—but was now soft and old and worn. His hair was damp from a shower that he must’ve managed to take with a garbage bag over his cast.
His mouth lifted in that mischievous grin that told me a joke was coming. “If you’re looking to borrow a cup of sugar or an egg, I’m out. Sorry.” He began to shut the door. I put my foot out to stop it.
“Actually,” I said, “I was wondering if there was any food left? The ice cream was great, but I skipped dinner. Didn’t even realize it until now.”
He eyed me up and down, taking in my bare feet, my pink nightshirt. “Enter at your own risk.” That secret smile again. It made me flush.
“You’re flirting with me.”
“Damn right I am.” Then he stepped aside, gesturing me in.
I was so, so glad he was.
He walked over to his kitchen counter and sat down on a backless stool, propping himself with his crutch. “Food’s in there, if you don’t mind grabbing what you want. Everything all right?”
I took the cartons out of the fridge, opened them, and set them down between us. “For the moment. Wynn’s fast asleep.” I spooned out some pad thai on a plate and licked the spoon. So good. And a little spicy, just the way I liked it.
“I have sparkling water in the fridge.” He leaned over. “That smells good. Maybe I’ll join you.”
I grabbed another plate and ended up nuking food for both of us. For a few minutes, all we did was eat, but it wasn’t awkward. I mean, I was a little nervous, a little buzzed from all the adrenaline pumping through me, from Wynn’s crisis to what I’d done just now—strolling right over here in my nightshirt and helping myself to his food.
But he didn’t seem to mind one bit.
Not to mention the flirting—a promise of more to come—was making me giddy.
I grabbed seconds, and he did too. Finally we finished, both of us tossing our napkins on our plates.
Caleb leaned back in his chair, his damp hair curling over his forehead, looking relaxed but expectant. It seemed like he was patiently waiting for me to say what I came to say.
I took up his hand. It was warm, his fingers long and beautiful, the hands of a surgeon. He entwined his fingers with mine, which sent my pulse soaring. If I were hooked up to a cardiac monitor, the beeps would be practically continuous.
Now I just had to get the words out before I chickened out. I cleared my throat, suddenly flustered. “Thank you,” I said, my voice cracking, “for taking my sister in, for feeding her, for listening, for defusing the tension between us. I… It was very kind.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, his lips lifting in a smile.
I added my other hand and then he did too. So now both our hands were joined, like we were going to cast a spell over the empty Thai food cartons. For an eternal supply maybe. He rubbed my palm with his thumb, which didn’t help me get out what more I had to say.
Something on that cliffside had been set in action, like a match that had been struck, a fuse lit, and the only way was forward. I could no longer stay in my safe, insulated box. He’d smoked me out.
“I’ve been worried for months about Wynn,” I said. “About our relationship. About how it hasn’t been the same since our grandmother died. I felt so lost. I still have no idea what I’m doing.”
He was stroking both my palms now but still listening intently, his gaze locked on mine. Did he not know he was stirring feelings that were making me barely able to concentrate?
“You helped me—us—through this difficult day. But really, you’ve been doing that all along. On the trail after you fell, you were worried more about me than yourself. And with my poison ivy and… again tonight. I was so wrong about you. Really wrong. And I’ve never—” My voice cracked. I had to stop. “I’ve never met anyone who was kind just to be kind. Who didn’t want anything back. But you’ve done it time after time and, well—thank you.”
He pulled me closer, until we were inches away. I felt transfixed by his gaze, so warm, so full of humor, and now so full of heat. “You did the same for me. Even when you hated me, you wanted to help me with Lilly.”
“I didn’t hate?—”
“But you don’t hate me now.”
“No.” I was trembling. And I knew he could tell because he was holding my hands. So securely, so tightly, that I could see the muscles of his forearms flex. I knew he wasn’t going to let me go.
“There’s more,” I said, looking deeply into his eyes.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, woman. More?”
“This is the first time I haven’t felt like—” I choked on the emotion. “Like I was alone. Handling everything alone. Because of you.”
“I’ll never leave you alone,” he said matter-of-factly. He could well have said, “I’ll stop and get the milk.”
“No, no. Don’t—don’t say that. I just—I just?—”
“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hands in the air. “You don’t do serious. Whatever.”
I swallowed. I was completely overcome.
“So, okay?”
“Okay, what?” I whispered.
“Okay to kiss you?”
“I-I can’t stay long. I have to get back.” My hands fluttered some weak semblance of a gesture toward my apartment. But I couldn’t stop myself from nodding.
“I get it. Sisters before misters.”
Before I could even get a laugh out, his lips were on mine, warm and soft and determined. And oh, that kiss took me by storm. He wrapped his arms securely around me and moved his lips over mine, slowly, gently, feeling his way step by step, so carefully and thoroughly, as if he were memorizing every part of my lips, my mouth.
So different from that kiss before getting hauled up in the makeshift harness, which was gutsy and intentional and quick.
I grasped his beautiful face with both my hands, feeling the scratchy softness of his stubble, and I kissed him back, losing myself in the feel of his mouth, his tongue, the heat of his body next to mine.
He tasted so wonderful. And oh, he knew how to kiss. Around us, the apartment was silent and dark, save for the muted, flickering TV and two pendant lights hanging over the tiny island.
He was the one to slowly draw back. I felt it rather than saw it. My eyes flew open to find him solemnly regarding me.
“I know you have to go,” he said, “but I’m going to take that as a yes.”
“A yes?”
“That you’ll go out with me.”
“Okay. After the wedding.”
“No, before.”
“That’s impossible. We leave tomorrow, remember?”
“Nothing’s impossible when you feel this way.”
I tilted my head and gave myself a harsh reminder that this was Caleb-the-romantic, wasn’t it? Getting swept away? I warned myself to not put too much stock in his words.
He swept my hair back and gave me an adoring look. “I’ve dated around some. And yes, I was stuck on Lilly. But you’ve got to understand, I’ve never felt like this. I’m completely bowled over by you.”
Oh, my heart . What I was hearing could not be real. I shook my head. “Listen to me. I only know reality. I’m not used to believing such pretty words.”
He regarded me quietly, steadily. “They have substance behind them. You understand who I am. You’re not afraid to call me out. You say things that are in my mind before I say them. You’re kind and honest and beautiful.” He paused. “And hey, we even go for the same french fries.” His mouth quirked up in a fetching smile. “This isn’t a passing fancy, Sam. I’ll prove it to you.”
“How can you be so sure? We haven’t even had sex yet.”
“That’s going to be great too.”
His confidence was, well, overwhelming. “How do you know that?”
“Because it’s going to be making real love. Not just sex.”
My head was spinning. My heart was pounding in my chest. I wanted him so badly I could barely think of anything else. But there was no way that was going to happen with all of this other stuff going on—meaning, my sister asleep on my futon next door.
“I have an idea,” he announced.
Full of surprises. “Okaay.”
“Your sister needs you. Let’s take her with us tomorrow. She’s invited to the wedding, right?”
“Yes, but that’s ridiculous. The wedding’s not until?—”
“She can stay with my parents. She knows them, right? She’ll love the farm. My mom and dad will keep her busy, give her some TLC, and bring her to the wedding with them.”
He was suggesting dropping my very upset sister off with his parents? “Shouldn’t you check with them first?”
“I will. But Beth loves to adopt people. It’s her superpower.”
He had a point. “I’ve experienced that firsthand.”
“Let me check with them, and then you can ask Wynn what she thinks. A weekend away might do her some good. Sound okay?”
It was only for a day, and maybe he was right. I gave a nod. “A change of scenery might be just the thing. Thanks for the idea.”
He sat back and patted his legs. “So come here.”
In his lap? “Over there?”
“I want to hold you before you go.”
“That’s not a casual thing to say.”
He leveled his gaze directly at me. “Samantha, do you think this is casual?”
“No,” I admitted to him—and to myself. I looked him right back in the eye. “But I want you to know that this is the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”
He reached out his hand. I walked around the island and sat on his lap, and he immediately surrounded me with his arms. He looked up at me and smiled—a tender smile that took my breath away. He pushed back a strand of hair from my face. Studied me so intently that I felt safe and terrified all at once.
He kissed me on the mouth and then on the nose. “Don’t be afraid. I got you.”
I didn’t know if he was talking about all my uncertainty about Wynn or my deep-seated fear of trusting someone—anyone. Of letting myself go with someone who actually meant something to me.
I couldn’t even be angry with him for saying Don’t be afraid , because he’d literally read my mind—I was terrified. But also the happiest I’d ever felt. So there was really only one thing to do. I bent my head toward his and touched his lips again.