Chapter 3 #2
‘Bathroom’s across from my room. There’s only one so we’ll have to share.’
‘I don’t have any hair stuff or a toothbrush. Is there a drugstore nearby?’
‘There’s one a couple blocks from here, but it’s closed because of the storm.’
‘There’s nothing else? A grocery store?’
‘We’d have to drive to one and I’m not going back out in the storm. I’m not going to risk crashing my truck. It’s how I make money. ’
‘Then what am I going to do?’
‘I have shampoo. Just use mine. Same for soap. If you want a toothbrush, I have some under the sink. Just take one.’
‘What about towels?’
‘I’ll show you.’
I follow him to the bathroom. It’s small and needs a lot of work. The floor tiles are cracked. The medicine cabinet is old and dated. And the blue-and-white striped wallpaper is peeling and needs to be taken down.
‘Towels are here,’ Brody says, opening the linen closet across from the toilet.
The shelves are wood and starting to rot from the moisture in the bathroom.
There are only four towels, each a different color.
Brody’s one of those guys who sees home stuff as just something to use, not caring about its appearance.
It’s kind of refreshing after being with someone like Cam.
He only used white towels, very expensive ones, and they had to be folded a certain way.
‘If you need anything else,’ Brody says, ‘just look around.’ He points to the plastic bins in the linen closet. ‘There’s probably stuff in there you could use. Take whatever you need.’
‘Thanks.’ I smile at him. ‘It’s really nice of you to let me stay here.’
He shrugs. ‘I didn’t really have a choice. I couldn’t leave you stranded in the snow.’ He walks out to the hall. ‘Oh, don’t take too long in the shower. The hot water runs out fast. I need to get a new water heater.’
‘Okay, I’ll be quick.’
He leaves and I shut the door. I go over to the shower and open the curtain. The wall tiles are cracked and the tub has rust stains .
Cam wouldn’t step foot in here. He’s a germaphobe.
When we used to go on trips, we could only stay at five-star hotels and when we got there he’d clean the room with antibacterial wipes.
I’m just now realizing how high maintenance he was, and yet for years I told myself I liked his cleanliness and obsession with having everything neat and orderly.
Was I just telling myself that to convince myself I loved him?
I don’t love him. I’m not sure I ever did. So why did I agree to marry him?
There’s a knock on the door and I hear Brody’s voice. ‘Is the shower not working?’
‘Um, I’m sure it is. I just didn’t start it yet.’
‘Okay, just wanted to check you were still alive in there,’ he says with a laugh.
He was worried about me? He just met me. He seems like a nice guy. He’d have to be to let some stranger stay at his house.
Looking in the mirror, I slowly take off my wedding dress, wondering if I’ll ever wear one again. What if today was my only chance to get married? What if I’m single for the rest of my life?
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. A lot of people are happy being single. It has to be better than being married to someone you don’t love.
I made the right decision. I can’t second guess myself and yet I keep doing it. I keep going back and forth trying to decide if I made the right decision or if there was some way I could’ve made it work. But deep down, if I listen to my heart, I know Cam wasn’t the guy for me.
As I get in the shower, I take a long deep breath as the water rains over me.
It feels good to wash away this horrible day.
I know I have to deal with this at some point, but not now.
Right now I just need to calm down, relax, and get my mind straight.
I don’t know what I’m going to do when I go back home, but I can worry about that later.
‘Oh, shit!’ I drop the bar of soap, realizing I just rubbed it all over my body. The same soap Brody uses. It’s been all over his naked body and now it’s been on mine! It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it feels wrong.
Why doesn’t he use shower gel? I look around for some, but all he has is the bar of soap.
I feel the water cooling off and hurry to find shampoo to wash my hair.
It’s a small bottle and is almost gone. I squeeze some out and wash my hair, the water getting colder by the second.
There’s no conditioner so I quickly rinse out the shampoo, finishing just as the hot water runs out.
When I get out of the shower and am drying off, I remember I don’t have clothes. Wrapping myself in a towel, I open the door just a crack. ‘Brody?’
‘Yeah?’ he yells back.
‘I need some clothes. Do you have something I could borrow?’
‘I left them outside the door.’
I look down and see a stack of clothes. ‘Oh. Thanks!’
He appears in the hall. ‘Did you run out of hot water?’
My eyes drop to his shirt. He took off the flannel one and is wearing a t-shirt, a black one that fits tight to his chest. The guy has muscles, which I guess makes sense since he has a job that involves physical labor.
I’ve just never seen a guy with muscles like that.
I’ve always dated guys that work in an office and don’t do enough in the gym to see any results.
‘Kate? ’
I hear my name and look up to see Brody smiling. Did he catch me checking him out? I hope not. I didn’t mean to. And I wasn’t really checking him out. I was admiring his dedication to fitness.
‘Yeah, it was hot,’ I blurt out. ‘The water. I mean, it got cooler, but I was able to finish my shower.’
His gaze lowers to my towel before returning to my face. ‘Okay, well, I’ll let you get dressed.’
Wait, was he just checking me out? I can’t be mad at him for that since I did the same thing to him, but it can’t happen again. We’re temporary roommates. That’s it. Nothing can happen, especially since just hours ago I was going to get married.
Brody walks back down the hall while I grab the stack of clothes. I shut the door and set the clothes on the counter. Brody left me a t-shirt, some gym shorts, and a Packers sweatshirt.
I put the shorts on and pull the drawstring as tight as I can, then tie it into a knot.
The shorts are so huge they go way past my knees.
Brody’s a tall guy, way over six feet, and I’m barely five-four.
Next I put on the t-shirt. It’s a faded gray t-shirt with a name on it, maybe the name of a band?
I pull on the hoodie, smiling as I think of the horrified look that would be on Cam’s face if he saw me in this. He hates the Packers.
Leaving the bathroom, I go to the kitchen where Brody’s making a sandwich.
‘Thanks for the clothes,’ I say.
He laughs when he sees me. ‘They look good on you.’
‘A Packers sweatshirt?’ I point to it. ‘Really?’
‘What? You don’t like the Packers?’ He spreads mustard on the piece of bread that’s on the counter. He’s not even using a plate. He’s just making a sandwich on the counter. Cam would be horrified, even if the counter was sterilized.
‘I don’t really care,’ I say, ‘but Cam hated them. He’s a Bears fan. He can’t stand the Packers.’
‘And that means you can’t like them?’ Brody puts the mustard-covered bread on top of the other piece of bread, which has ham stacked on it.
‘Well, no. I guess I don’t care. I don’t really watch football.’
‘Everyone has a team they root for. So what’s yours, assuming you had to pick?’
‘I guess I’d root for the Bears.’
‘You guess?’ People don’t guess about a team. You root for a team you like, one that means something to you.’
‘Okay, then maybe I would root for the Packers. My parents grew up in Wisconsin and my grandparents are from here. I grew up watching the Packers with my grandfather.’
Brody smiles. ‘So you are a Packers fan.’
‘I wouldn’t say I’m a fan. I just watched a few games with my grandfather.’
‘You’re more of a Packers fan than a Bears fan.’
‘Maybe, but like I said, Cam would kill me if he heard me say that.’
‘Why do you care? You’re not with him anymore.’
‘Yeah, I guess you’re right.’
Brody’s words knock me into reality, a reality I keep trying to deny. I feel like I’m dreaming all this, but I’m not. Today really happened. I left Cam at the altar. Our relationship is over.
I no longer have to like what Cam likes or do what he wants.
I never liked the Bears, but I said I did to make Cam happy, to avoid getting into an argument.
My mom always said to pick my battles and I didn’t think football was something worth fighting about.
But thinking back, I didn’t fight for anything.
I let Cam take the lead and make decisions for both of us.
Why did I do that? How did it even happen? And why didn’t I realize it until now?