Chapter 21
Kate
‘You okay?’ Brody asks, putting his hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head. ‘I’m not ready to say goodbye. To your family. This town. You. It’s too rushed. I need more time.’
‘We’re not going anywhere. You can always come back and visit.’
‘I can’t.’ I look up at him. ‘It’d be too hard.’
‘Why?’
I don’t answer him. He knows why.
He pulls me in for a hug. ‘It’ll get better with time. We’ll get back to work, back to our old routines, and the memories from the past few weeks will start to fade.’
‘You really believe that?’
This time, he doesn’t answer.
I could try to forget the time Brody and I spent together, but I won’t. I’ll never have an experience like this again. Stranded in a storm and moving in with a complete stranger? It’s crazy, but what’s even crazier is having that stranger become your best friend, and then falling in love with him.
I can’t imagine ever finding another guy like Brody. I can’t say goodbye to him. I know I have to, but I don’t know how. How do you say goodbye to the guy you love, knowing you’ll probably never see him again?
For dinner, Brody takes me to a nice restaurant downtown.
It costs way too much money for him and it’s not at all his type of place with its white tablecloths and fancy food.
But he thought I’d like it so he took me there.
He’s such a great guy, so considerate and selfless.
He’s the complete opposite of Cam. It makes me realize how much I’ve changed.
The Kate I am now would never date a guy like Cam, but the old Kate was going to marry him.
‘I’ll be right back,’ I say to Brody when we get home from dinner.
‘You want the champagne?’ he yells as I go into his room.
‘Yeah, open it!’ I yell back.
Brody bought me champagne, another sweet gesture. He doesn’t even like champagne, but he overheard me telling Lyndsay how much I love it. He said he got it to celebrate us finishing the house, but I know he’d rather have a bottle of whiskey or a case of beer.
‘Did you open it?’ I ask, coming into the kitchen.
Brody slowly smiles when he sees me. ‘What’s this?’
‘It’s your Valentine’s gift.’ I spin around. ‘You like it?’
I’m wearing one of his flannel shirts with nothing underneath it and unbuttoned enough for my boobs to show.
‘Hell yeah, I like it.’ He kisses me, his hands sliding under the shirt .
‘Did you pour the champagne?’
‘Forget the champagne. We’ve got other things to do.’
We make love right there in the kitchen. Then we go in his room and have the champagne and talk about random things, like places we want to visit and our favorite movies, pretending tonight is just like any other night and not the night before I’m leaving.
At midnight, Brody falls asleep but I’m wide awake, the knot in my stomach getting tighter as the minutes pass by, bringing me closer to the time I have to leave. Two hours later, Brody gets up to get a drink, and when he comes back we make love again. For the last time.
In the morning, Jill arrives at eight, a half hour early.
‘She’s here,’ I say to Brody as I zip up my suitcase. ‘Can you get the door?’
‘I thought she was coming at 8:30.’
‘She’s early.’ I race to the bathroom to gather up my things as Brody goes to get the door.
I’m annoyed that Jill’s early. I wanted time alone with Brody before she got here, time to say goodbye.
‘So you’re Brody?’ I hear Jill say.
‘Yeah. It’s nice to meet you. Kate’s told me a lot about you.’
‘Hope it was all good,’ she says with a laugh.
‘Of course it was good,’ I say, coming into the living room with my suitcase. I smile and give Jill a hug. ‘How was the drive?’
‘Fine, but I almost missed the turnoff for Haydon Falls. I was listening to a podcast and wasn’t paying attention.’ She checks her phone. ‘We need to get going. I’m meeting Marla for lunch and I don’t want to be late. ’
‘I’ll take your bag to the car,’ Brody says, being all business-like, showing no emotion. Meanwhile, I’m a mess, my eyes tearing up, my heart beating like crazy.
‘I’m going to do one last check,’ I say as Brody follows Jill out the door. ‘Make sure I didn’t miss anything.’
I look around the living room, then the kitchen. I didn’t forget anything. I’m just trying to kill time because I’m not ready to go.
‘Kate.’ I turn around and see Brody standing at the door. ‘Your sister’s waiting in the car.’
On my way over to him, I grab my coat from the chair and put it on. ‘So I guess this is it.’
‘Yeah.’ He looks down, then back at me. ‘Have a safe trip.’ He smiles a little. ‘Try not to go in a ditch.’
‘Can I call you?’
‘Of course you can call me. We never said we wouldn’t talk to each other again.’
‘Maybe it’d be easier if we didn’t.’
‘Yeah.’ He blows out a breath. ‘Maybe you’re right.’
I look up at him, my eyes tearing up. ‘I’m going to miss you so much.’
‘I’ll miss you too.’ He slips his hand through my hair, cupping the side of my face, then leans down and kisses me. ‘Goodbye, Kate.’
‘Don’t say that. I don’t want this to be goodbye.’
He straightens up, his eyes on mine. ‘Then tell me what you want. This isn’t the time to be holding back. Just tell me.’
‘What I want isn’t possible. My life is in Chicago. Your life is here. And we—’ I’m interrupted by Jill beeping the horn, and then my phone dinging, which I’m guessing is a text from Jill telling me to hurry up.
‘We what?’ Brody asks. ‘What were you going to say?’
‘Nothing.’ I reach up and kiss him. ‘Goodbye, Brody.’
I go out the door and straight to Jill’s car, not looking back.
‘Go,’ I tell her when I get in.
As she backs out of the driveway, I close my eyes, not wanting to see the house or Brody standing at the door. My eyes remain closed as she drives out of the neighborhood.
‘Tell me when we’re on the highway,’ I say.
‘Um, okay. Why are your eyes closed?’
‘Just drive. Get me out of here.’
‘Was this place really that bad? I think it’s kind of cute, not that I like small towns, but you know what I mean.’
‘It wasn’t bad.’ A tear slips down my face. ‘It was great. The best place I’ve ever lived.’
She laughs. ‘Are you being sarcastic?’
I keep quiet and focus on not crying. I need to accept that this was just a detour in my life, a break from my real life. Now it’s over and I need to move on.
‘Okay, we’re on the highway,’ Jill says. ‘I turned your seat warmer on. If it’s too hot, you can turn it off.’
I open my eyes and see the highway ahead. Looking over to the other side, I see the area where Cam’s car went into the ditch. I can still see the path Brody shoveled to get to it.
‘Did I tell you Henry’s getting me a new car?’ Jill says.
‘No.’ I look back at her. ‘What kind?’
‘A Lexus. It’s for my birthday. It’s gorgeous. He took me to the dealership and let me pick out all the options. They had to special order it. ’
‘Sounds nice.’
‘I can’t wait. I’ve had this car for three years now. I’m tired of it.’
Henry gives Jill gifts instead of spending time with her. I think it’s sad, but Jill doesn’t seem to care. In fact, I think she’d rather have the gifts than hang out with him. I don’t understand their marriage, but it seems to work for them.
‘Mom’s got your old room ready,’ Jill says.
‘Great,’ I say, rolling my eyes.
‘Maybe it won’t be so bad. You’ll be at work all day and they’re always going out at night. You probably won’t even see them.’
‘Stop trying to make me feel better. You know it’s going to be horrible. They’ll be trying to control everything I do.’
‘You could always go back to Cam.’
I stare at her. ‘You seriously think I’d do that? The asshole is suing us.’
‘He’s not. His parents are, and they’d drop the lawsuit if you married him. And if you did, you could go back and live in his apartment.’
‘I’d rather live on the streets,’ I mutter.
‘Kate, I don’t know why you can’t just be happy.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You had everything you could ever want, a life other girls could only dream of, and you gave it all up.’
‘Because I didn’t love him. And honestly, I don’t think Cam loved me either. I think he just saw me as someone who’d take care of his house and his kids while he went off to pursue his political career.’
‘Yeah? What’s wrong with that? Love is overrated. People fall in love and then it doesn’t work out and they’re left with a broken heart. Why put yourself through that? Why not just find someone who can give you what you want and be happy with that?’
‘Do you really believe that? That you can be happy with a man you don’t love?’
‘I know you can. I’m proof of it.’
‘After all the time you’ve been with Henry, you still don’t love him?’
‘I love the life he’s given me. To me, that’s good enough.’
‘But what if it’s not? What if being with Henry means you’re missing out on meeting a guy you actually love?’
‘I’m not taking that chance. I’ve seen too many of my friends fall in love, only to be disappointed later when the love goes away.
And it always goes away. People get on each other’s nerves, fight about stuff, lie, cheat, and eventually break up.
Henry is safe and secure and he’ll give me the life I want. ’
‘I don’t want that. A life without love. That’s what I would’ve had with Cam and I didn’t want it. I want to be in love.’
‘Then you’ll probably be single for a long time. Love isn’t easy to find.’
‘I already found it,’ I say under my breath.
‘What did you say?’
‘Nothing.’ I’m not going to tell her. If I did, she’d tell me it isn’t true, that I just think I’m in love with Brody.
She’d say it’s not possible to fall in love that fast. Then she’d tell me Brody isn’t good for me.
That he doesn’t make enough money and didn’t go to college and has no ambition and no future.
My parents would say the same thing. My family wouldn’t care if Brody makes me happy or that I love him. That stuff doesn’t matter to them.
When we’re almost to Chicago, my phone rings. Gina’s name is on the screen.