Chapter Ten
Silas
Watching Posey’s face redden with embarrassment is my new favorite thing to witness.
She comes across so bold and fearless, it’s nice to see her walls shatter a bit when she’s vulnerable.
“Mornin’,” I greet when she walks into the kitchen. “You look better.”
“Well, I didn’t spend the night throwin’ up, so yeah, I’d hope so.”
And snarky Posey is back.
She moves past me to make her coffee while I watch and hold back from commenting on our conversation yesterday.
Although she kicked me out of her room while it was still a few hours before bedtime, I spent the rest of the evening finishing my laundry and watching TV.
I heard her come out after I was in bed for the night, but I figured she wasn’t up for company.
“I’ll be ready to go in ten,” she says, walking out without another glance.
It gives me enough time to make my lunch. There’s a fridge in Posey’s office so she keeps food stocked for when she’s hungry.
The drive to the goat barn is silent besides the radio that’s on low volume. Posey stares out the passenger window, ignoring me. I didn’t realize she’d be so bothered by what I told her last night, but I’d rather discuss it and get it over with instead of worrying about it all day.
“Posey, wait,” I blurt when she opens the door. “Can we talk quickly?”
“About what?”
“Well…how you can’t even look at me for starters.”
She finally shifts and meets my gaze. “I don’t wanna talk about what happened or talked about this weekend, okay? I’d rather forget it.”
“Why? Are you worried I’m gonna use it against you or somethin’?”
“I don’t want you knowin’ that personal stuff about me. After spendin’ years tryin’ to forget you, I can’t let myself get too comfy with you in my life again. I appreciate what you did for me when I felt like shit but we should go back to the way things were before you moved in.”
“You know that’s not gonna be possible with me livin’ there. Do you want me to leave?”
“No, but we can give each other space and make it work until you find a place.”
I’ve looked online but everything so far is out of my budget or too big for one person. Even the apartment Michelle mentioned to me is more than I can afford.
“That might be a while,” I admit.
She lifts a shoulder. “It’s fine.”
When she goes to leave again, I reach across the truck and grab her arm. “Wait. Please?”
She sighs. “I’m gonna be late.”
“I apologize if I crossed a line and made you uncomfortable with the sex and orgasm talk. It won’t happen again.”
“Alright.”
“Can we go back to being friends, please?”
She swallows, chewing on her bottom lip. “I’ll try.”
That’s all I can ask for at this point.
“Okay, thanks.”
I don’t see Posey for most of the day, which isn’t unusual since we’re in two different areas of the barn, but I typically see her during lunch when she walks through.
Today they had me milking the goats with the machine, so it went faster. Afterward, we moved some of them to another pasture to clean out the brush. It’s impressive how fast they work.
“I was talkin’ to Jamie on my lunch break and she said Jackson’s free on Saturday. She wants to know if we can double date and go to dinner,” I tell Posey on the drive home. “Would you wanna go or would that be too weird?”
I tread lightly so I don’t cross any boundaries or make things uncomfortable between us again.
“Sure, that’d be fine,” she responds, and although she’s not staring out the window this time, she’s still avoiding my gaze. “As long as you remember neither of us can bring ’em home afterward.”
“I wasn’t plannin’ to but I figured you’d wanna hang out with Jamie.”
She shrugs. “Not if you two are datin’. I’d probably go to her place instead.”
“Oh, right.”
When we arrive at the house, I strip down to my boxer briefs as usual but this time she waits for me.
“Would you wanna go horseback ridin’ with me?”
Her question takes me by surprise, but I’m delighted she asked. “Yeah, definitely. I’ll get changed.”
“Okay, I’ll freshen up and be ready in a few.”
I’m not sure what made her ask but hopefully it means this awkward tension between us will go away.
I haven’t been on a horse in months, but growing up with Warren as my best friend means I know enough to get back on and be comfortable.
Once I’ve changed into jeans and one of my new flannels, I meet Posey in the living room. She’s in jeans with a black cowboy hat on her head, looking cute as hell.
She hands me a bottled water. “Ready?”
“Should I wear one of those?” I point to her head.
She giggles, walking toward the front door. “You, in a cowboy hat?”
“Why’re you laughin’?” I ask, offended.
“You’re more of the baseball cap wearin’ type, city boy.”
I follow her outside. “Okay, what’s it gonna take for you to stop callin’ me that?”
Looking over her shoulder, she flashes a wicked smirk. “Grow up on a ranch or marry into one.”
Catching up to her, I open the passenger side door and help her in. “Hmm..are you proposin’?”
She snorts. “You wish.”
Grinning, I shut the door and walk around to my side.
“Thanks for invitin’ me.”
“Ridin’ always helps me clear my head,” she explains as I drive us to the stables. “And I thought you might enjoy it too with everythin’ you’re going through.”
“I appreciate you lettin’ me come.” I grin, and she smiles in return.
When we walk inside the barn, we’re greeted by Bodie who works at the stables with Warren.
“Hey, what’re y’all doin’?”
“Gonna ride,” Posey says. “Wanna join?”
“I’ve been on and off ’em all day, so no thanks.”
Bodie takes guests trail riding in between taking care of the horses, mucking stalls, and training to become a farrier, so I don’t blame him for not wanting to go.
Posey tells me which horse to take before grabbing her own. We cross-tie them in the aisle so we can groom them and put their tack on.
“Priest is a good horse. Warren rides him a lot,” she explains, throwing her hair up and exposing her bare neck that I shouldn’t be staring at for many reasons.
But I’ll take it as a good sign that she didn’t give me a bad one.
“Who do you have?”
“This is Blythe. She’s a bit of a spitfire but she’s a good girl, aren’t ya?” She pats her back.
Once I have the saddle on, I ask Posey to double-check it for me since I haven’t done this in a while. She yanks on one of the straps and tightens it a bit.
“You did good.”
“Thanks,” I say behind her. “I’m surprised I remembered after all this time.”
“It’s muscle memory. Once you learn it, it’s hard to forget.”
I smirk, thinking of something else that’s forever engrained into memory. When she turns, we’re only a few inches apart.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothin’.” I quickly wipe it off my face before she reads my mind.
She narrows her eyes, looking around us. No one else is here since the workers either left or are on the trails with guests.
“You can back up now.”
“Oh right, sorry.” I give her space to walk past me but notice the way her cheeks flushed at how close we were standing.
Once we’re set, we untie the horses. I jump on Priest and she gets on Blythe.
“Ready?” she asks over her shoulder.
“Yep.”
Or rather, I hope so.
Posey takes the lead out of the barn and toward the trails. Although it’s later in the evening, the weather’s beautiful. The sun’s not high in the sky, but there’s enough light to give us a few hours before we’re in the dark.
“I wanna apologize for being short with you this mornin’,” Posey says when our horses walk side by side.
She doesn’t look at me but there’s sincerity in her voice.
“I guess my mind and heart aren’t on the same page when it comes to you.
We went from not talkin’ to suddenly being roommates and sharin’ intimate personal details.
It’s a bit of a mindfuck, if I’m being honest, and gave me whiplash. ”
Her honesty takes me off guard, though I’m not surprised she’s struggling with our new arrangement. Posey likes to be in control, that much is obvious, and with me re-entering her life, she’s having to come to terms with what happened between us.
“I appreciate your apology, but it’s not necessary. I’m invadin’ your home and personal spaces, it’d be a shock to anyone’s system, especially someone as independent as you. I’ll make sure to stick to PG conversations only.”
“You don’t gotta walk on eggshells for me. I agreed to being friends and to help you move on from your ex, so I should keep to my word without makin’ it weird. We’re roommates and employees, so it’s inevitable our conversations are gonna get personal at times.”
“You can always tell me when I cross the line. I won’t be offended.”
“I’m tryin’ to get better at communication and not be so guarded. I guess it’s a defense mechanism from years of feelin’ inadequate in relationships.” She finally glances at me, a soft smile on her glowing face. “But gettin’ me drunk will always be a truth serum I’ll regret the next day.”
Bellowing out a laugh, I grin in return. “You never gotta be embarrassed with me ’cause I’ll never use it against you or make you feel bad about it.”
I suspect that’s what her exes did when she explained her struggles or insecurities.
“That’s why you’re a good person, Silas. And why I get so frustrated thinkin’ about how Aundrea treated you.”
“Even though I’m a city boy?”
“Ha! Yep, even then.” She gives Blythe a little kick and I do the same to Priest while we ride up one of the hillier trails, and thank God Priest knows what he’s doing, because as he climbs up, I’m holding on for dear life.
“How ya doin’?” Posey asks a few minutes later once we’re in a flatter area. “Ready to race back?”
“Wait, what? Noooo…” There’s real panic in my voice because she has no fear factor and I have the luck of a squirrel crossing a highway. I’ll fall off and break my neck.
“This is your time to prove you’re a cowboy!” she calls out, standing up in the saddle stirrups and leaning forward. “Show me whatcha got!”
“No, I’m actually fine with—”
As soon as Blythe takes off, Priest mirrors her actions and bolts.