3. Chapter Three - Desiree
“Fuck, fuck, fuck! ”
I fumble with my phone, catching the contraband device in my sudsy, gloved fingers right before it lands in the toilet bowl at Little Death.
A pungent cocktail of bleach, ammonia, and leather burns my nostrils.
We don’t open for another hour, but the bass pulses through the walls, echoing my frantic heartbeat.
Queen Vyvyan has had me on cleaning duty ever since I snuck out of the Nest to warn my brother and Jaxson about Nyx’s attack a few months ago.
Wilder had been in trouble, and I might have gotten away with helping him if I hadn’t asked Prince Vane for assistance.
My hands are raw, and my pride is bruised, but I don’t dare complain.
Not when Vyvyan can turn my life into a living hell.
I enjoy living here—more than anywhere else I’ve ever lived.
“What happened now?” Misty asks from the adjacent stall.
She isn’t on cleaning duty with me, but as my best friend, she stays with me for company.
“I almost flushed my phone,” I reply.
Misty’s laughter is like wind chimes.
“You’re brave to keep that phone,” she observes as she exits her stall.
She’s right; if Vyvyan knew Wilder had given me a way to contact him and Mom, her rage would be apocalyptic.
Vampires aren’t allowed to own phones.
Period.
I need to get rid of it.
Soon.
I can’t risk losing my place here, and I fear what might happen if I continue to break the rules.
Shuffling out of the stall and toward the fancy sink, I read the text that made my heart jolt.
Misty rests her chin on my tattooed shoulder, a feat that would be impossible without her platform boots.
“What did he say this time?” she asks.
I bite my lip as I peel off my gloves.
Jaxson and I have been exchanging flirty texts non-stop since Leigh’s coronation.
Before I was Turned, Jax was my boyfriend.
When he’s being cute and kind, it’s a bit too easy to forget how he left me.
Jax
Can we talk on the phone tonight?
It’s hard not hearing your voice.
My smile reaches my ears.
Jaxson has always made me feel special.
He embraced my jagged edges as if they were soft curves.
At least, he did until the day he chose Wilder over me.
I had faced rejection before, but never such overwhelming desolation.
Jax was more than my boyfriend; he had been my best friend.
With Wilder in Aurora and Jax ignoring my calls, in a way, I lost both of them all those months ago.
I felt lost and aimless until a woman whispered the password to Little Death, and I found myself in this bar.
Even though I had to wear a mask, I had never felt so seen.
Misty squeals.
“How cute! How will you respond?”
I shake my head, yet my grin remains steady.
“We spoke last night.”
“So? You’re hot; he’s hot. Forget the call. Video chat. Naked.”
“Your persistence says more about your sex life than mine.”
“I’m a desert, and if I want to have sex, I have to do it vicariously through you. Write back that you want to video chat,” Misty encourages.
Her wide smile is as red as her cherry-colored hair.
“I’ll scream ‘fire’ to clear the dorm.”
I look at her with wide eyes.
Clearing our shared room of hundreds of vampires is impossible.
Only Queen Vyvyan and Prince Vane have private quarters.
But for those she loves, Misty would move mountains.
It’s the same for the people she hates; they better watch their backs because Misty would have no trouble stabbing them.
“I don’t know.” I chew my thumb.
“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea,” I admit, tucking my phone into my corset.
“I haven’t decided if I want to date him again.”
I am unsure if that’s what Jaxson wants.
If it is, he is certainly taking his time.
“Why not?” Misty furrows her brow.
“If Vane wanted me the way Jaxson wants you, I’d jump at the chance. You just need to put yourself out there, Desi. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”
I turn away, concealing my unease.
Misty doesn’t know that Prince Vane, Vyvyan’s heir, is my sire.
She never will.
A part of my agreement with Vyvyan, when she permitted me to stay at the Nest after I became a vampire, was that I would keep my sire’s identity a secret.
Instead of becoming Desiree Bathory, I remained Desiree Dunn.
I had a place to stay as long as I kept my mouth shut.
So far, I haven’t had any issues keeping my most embarrassing secret to myself, and I intend to keep it that way.
My friendship depends on it.
Thoughts of Vane ignite old anger, flaring red at the edges of my vision, but I shove them aside.
I asked him to Turn me, but what happened afterward was utterly humiliating.
“Desiree, are you okay?” Misty asks as I wipe down the counter.
“Did I overstep? I thought you seemed interested given how much you’ve been texting.”
I pause.
I hate lying to her, but I don’t have a choice.
“No. It’s fine,” I say, shoving the anger aside.
“You did nothing wrong. It’s just that?—”
The bathroom door bangs open, revealing a vampire dressed in a skin-tight latex skirt.
“Desiree, darling, the queen is asking for you in her private chambers,” she announces.
“Why?” I blurt out, struggling to keep my voice steady.
Queen Vyvyan never invites us to her quarters.
Everyone in the Nest has designated roles, with Vyvyan and Vane leading the way.
If we get into trouble, she publicly exemplifies us in the throne room.
This is how she has maintained order for centuries.
Having the Eurynomos daemon judge guilt and administer punishment keeps her hands clean.
The vampire glances up.
Her eyes are so heavily made up that I’m surprised she can even open them.
“You know better than to question Vyvyan. Now, unless you want a spanking, I’d suggest you traipse that cute butt of yours downstairs. You know how impatient she is.”
I force a smile, telling myself not to panic.
Am I about to get into trouble?
I wring my hands together and reach for my cleaning supplies.
“Leave it,” the vampire says.
“I’ll take care of it.”
“I’ll save you a seat for breakfast, Desi,” Misty offers.
The other vampire looks at her.
“Vyvyan said you were supposed to go with her.”
Misty and I exchange furrowed looks.
Why would Vyvyan want to see us both?
A chill settles deep in my bones as Misty mouths, “Phone,” to me, her eyes darting to where I’ve hidden the device.
I cover the spot between my breasts.
If Vyvyan knows about the phone, I must protect Misty.
She shouldn’t suffer because of my mistake.
I’ll say and do whatever it takes to take the blame.
As I navigate the candlelit corridors beneath Little Death with Misty, I try to compose myself through steady breaths.
The path leads to a heavy door flanked by several imposing vampires.
I squeeze Misty’s hand.
“Whatever happens,” I whisper, “I’ve got your back.”
She nods, but confusion and fear battle in her red eyes.
I swallow hard.
Queen Vyvyan’s chambers are carved into the bedrock deep beneath the Iron Parthenon, imbuing the space with an ancient gothic splendor.
Burgundy silks drape luxuriously over a four-poster bed, while centuries-old antiques whisper tales of Vyvyan’s long life.
Vyvyan rests daintily on a silk settee at the center of the room.
“Your Majesty,” Misty and I say in unison as we curtsy.
Vyvyan’s piercing gaze is fixed on us.
“Desiree Dunn and Misty Vosa,” she says, placing her wineglass of blood on a glass table.
“How kind of you to join me.”
This summons was far from optional, but I nod stiffly.
Angering Vyvyan would mean angering the entire coven.
“Is everything—” The door behind us swings open, and my words fade away.
The air shifts, and every nerve in my body ignites.
Vane.
I don’t need to turn to know it’s him; my traitorous body recognizes his presence instantly.
Goose bumps cover my exposed arms and legs from his weighted gaze.
Vane lingers behind me.
His silence is likely because of me.
We do our best to avoid each other.
“What are you waiting for, an invitation?” Vyvyan barks.
Vane strolls past me.
With a deep breath, I look up.
The last time we were in this room together, he confessed to Vyvyan that he regretted Turning me, shattering my heart with casual cruelty.
Vyvyan sat in the same place she occupies now, shaking her head.
“Where have you been?” Vyvyan snaps.
“I went out for a walk,” Vane replies, pouring himself a glass of blood.
His shoulders are tense in his crisp black dress shirt.
Vyvyan hisses at him, flashing her fangs.
Misty gasps, but I remain still, knowing better than to get between Vane and Vyvyan.
“You expect me to believe that?” Vyvyan’s voice drips with venom.
“You’ve been gone for hours, and the sun just set.”
“I’m back, aren’t I?” Vane’s calm response only seems to infuriate her further.
He turns to us.
“And just in time, for what, I wonder?”
My chest rises and falls in unsteady breaths.
The night Vane turned me, we were in my room at my mom’s place.
I’d officially ended things permanently with Jaxson after he tried one last time to get back together but still wouldn’t tell Wilder about us.
I considered it because of our history and wasn’t sure if I had a future with Vane.
He was a vampire prince, after all.
Vane wanted to see the childhood I had assured him was anything but glamorous before I moved into my own place.
As a girl, I spent most nights alone, blasting angry music and pouring my pain into my journal.
Seeing Vane—his otherworldly looks and designer clothes—surrounded by band posters and my old tie-dye bedspread made me laugh hysterically.
I wasn’t the same Desiree who Jaxson had dumped.
I was dating a vampire and hiding the War Letters.
I had finally taken control of my life.
I asked him then and there to Turn me.
At first, he was reluctant, but after I dropped to my knees to beg, he agreed.
He laid me down on my bed with the utmost gentleness, undressed me with reverent hands, and made love to me to mask the pain of his fangs tearing into my neck.
As I lay dying, Vane whispered apologies into my ear, his words a haunting lullaby.
I’d thought the pain in his voice was genuine, but now I know all of it was all for show.
When I woke up, I was a vampire.
And Vane discarded me like a forgotten toy.
He stood beside Vyvyan as she gazed down at me with pity, telling me I wasn’t the first to fall for Vane’s schemes and wouldn’t be the last.
I had been naive enough to believe he loved me.
Aside from Vyvyan, Vane only loves himself.
He smirks as his gaze roams over me, and heat surges through my veins.
He enjoys making those he loathes squirm.
He revels in asserting dominance over me.
Once upon a time, I enjoyed it, too, until I learned better.
It takes every ounce of self-control not to run from the room.
I hate him that much.
“Why are we here?” I interject.
Vyvyan’s attention snaps back to me.
“So impatient, Desiree. Is there someplace else you’d rather be?”
Yes.
“No, your Majesty.”
“Are you sure?” Her voice gains a taunting edge.
“Perhaps you are eager to return to the hospital?”
I blink.
Was someone hurt?
Is my mom okay?
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“Rumor has it that Chiara Dunn has requested funding to develop a cure.”
“A cure . . .” My question trails off.
“For vampirism.”
The words hit me like a physical blow.
A cure for vampirism?
That’s impossible.
“That seems like a waste of time,” Misty pipes up, a slight tremor in her voice.
Vyvyan’s smile shows all her teeth.
“That’s what I thought as well, Misty. That’s why I want to hear from Desiree. Well, Desi? Why is your mom researching an impossible cure? Is it because you asked her to? After all I’ve done for you, are you unhappy here?”
I open and close my mouth.
No, I didn’t ask Mom to find a cure.
I have no desire to be a witch again.
My time as a human is over, filled with memories so painful that I never want to relive them.
“No, I am very happy here.”
Vyvyan’s smile wavers.
She must not trust me.
I steal a glance at Misty.
A growing dread threatens to swallow me whole.
This meeting involves far more serious accusations than my secret cell phone.
Vyvyan believes I betrayed her.
She thinks I asked Mom for a cure.
She thinks I don’t want to be here.
“Prove it,” Vyvyan demands.
I wince.
How am I supposed to do that?
Vyvyan has never liked me.
From day one, she has seen me as a threat to her relationship with Vane.
But she has nothing to worry about.
She can have him; Vane means nothing to me.
He made it clear that I’m nothing to him.
“I—I—” Why can’t I speak?
I should say that the Nest is my home, and the vampire coven is my only family, but I can’t.
Wilder, Mom, Dad, and Jaxson are out there, and while they are alive, I also want to be close to them.
But not at the cost of losing what I’ve gained here.
I peer at Misty.
She’s the only true friend I’ve ever had.
“You wound me, Desiree,” Vyvyan says.
“After all I’ve done for you—taking you in, ensuring you have a roof over your head, money in your pocket, and blood in your belly—this is how you repay my kindness?”
I close my eyes.
Her kindness?
Vyvyan is more like a dictator than a queen.
“Whoever told you about the cure got their wires crossed,” I say quickly, my voice steady despite the fear swelling inside me like a balloon.
I glare at Vane.
Did he use his gift to uncover Mom’s plans and tell Vyvyan to fuck with me?
“My mom might be researching the cure, but it’s not for me.” When no one responds, I add, “Honestly.”
The silence in the room is deafening, disrupted only by the gentle crackle of flames.
“I wouldn’t take it, even if she succeeded,” I insist.
“This is where I want to be, and I can prove it to you. I’ll go to Hebe right now. My mom’s working tonight; I’ll ask her to stop.”
Queen Vyvan examines me.
“It’s amusing how you believe I’ll allow you to leave after what happened last time.”
“Vyv, I thought we had moved past that.” Vane sighs.
“I helped her to help Leigh.”
I chew the inside of my cheek, the taste of copper flooding my mouth.
Why is he pretending to help me?
Probably because it’ll make Vyvyan less likely to .
.
.
Fucking sadist.
“You would believe her, Vane.” Vyvyan laughs.
“The girl’s your little pet, after all.”
My nostrils flare.
Misty glances at me, but I focus on the spatting royals.
If Vyvyan spills my secret to Misty, life here will be unbearable.
Misty is in love with Vane.
She has been since she first saw him.
She wanted him to Turn her, but he refused.
Vane doesn’t Turn other vampires, so I don’t know why he Turned me.
Maybe because he enjoys lording over me.
“Vyvyan.” Vane utters her name as a warning.
“Don’t.”
Vyvyan grins wickedly.
“Don’t tell Misty how you broke your vow never to sire other vampires when you Turned Desiree?”
Misty gasps.
Air rushes from my lungs.
Shit.
“Is that true?” Misty asks me.
Vyvyan doesn’t hide her smile.
“Vane sired you?”
Yes, Vane sired me, but it’s not what she thinks.
Vane used me.
He toyed with my heart and lured me into his bed so he and Vyvyan could laugh at my expense.
Vane messed with the Blade Commander’s daughter.
I was merely a joke to him, that’s all.
A joke that went too far.
I face Misty, reaching for her hand, needing her to understand I didn’t lie to hurt her, but she rips her hand from mine.
Neon tears mist her eyes.
“How could you?”
“You don’t understand?—”
“You lied. After I shared my past with you. My . . .” A sob escapes her.
Misty confided in me that, when she was still a witch, her fiancé had cheated on her with her cousin, whom she regarded as a sister.
To make matters worse, they approached her on her wedding day to inform her that they were running away together.
Misty opened her heart to me, but I couldn’t reciprocate because of Vyvyan’s orders.
I look from Vyvyan to Vane, silently pleading with her to set the record straight and admit that they ordered me to lie.
Neither vampire says a word.
“You made everyone think you couldn’t recall your sire,” Misty says.
I gag at the bitter taste in my mouth.
“What can I do to fix this?”
“Nothing.”
The walls close in.
I couldn’t have told her.
Vyvyan forbade me to.
Even now, Vyvyan waits for me to slip up and reveal the truth to Misty.
Any sign of disobedience would allow her to kick me out.
“Oh no, Desiree, how could you betray your friend like that?” Vyvyan mocks.
Vane glares at her.
“Shut up, Vyvyan. You’re being nasty.”
I can’t focus on why he is defending me.
My heart breaks as Misty steps back from me.
“Misty, please!”
My friend faces Vyvyan.
“May I be excused? My shift is about to start.”
Vyvyan nods, then Misty dashes from the room.
I rush after her, my hand outstretched, eager to explain.
“Desiree, stop,” Vyvyan calls, and I freeze.
No matter how nasty Vyvyan is to me, she’s still my queen.
If I want to live here, I must obey her.
“I’m sorry, but you had to be punished.”
My hands bunch at my sides.
“For what? I already told you I didn’t ask for the cure!”
“The deal for you to live here was that you couldn’t tell anyone who sired you.”
“I didn’t tell a soul.”
“But that’s not true, is it?” Vyvyan taunts, rising on her stiletto heels to refill her glass.
“You told your brother and his friend.”
I gasp.
Vane must have told her I revealed he was my sire to Wilder and Jaxson.
I had no choice; after faking my death and returning as a vampire, they deserved answers.
“They wouldn’t have told anyone,” I insist.
“You didn’t need to tell Misty. Bring her back in here and tell her the truth?—”
“It’s done,” Vyvyan declares, adjusting her flawless appearance in the full-length mirror.
“But I’ve decided how you’ll make it up to me.”
“How?”
“Go to Hebe as you mentioned. Stop Chiara’s research. Show that you are loyal to me.”
Vane turns away, breathing hard.
I avoid looking at him.
He did this.
“When?” No one leaves the Nest without Queen Vyvan’s permission.
She aims to protect us, especially after Elio di Siena killed many vampires last year to procure our tears for his drug trade.
It was a joyous day when the Eurynomos found him guilty.
The celebration that followed as we danced upon his grave lasted three days and three nights.
“Tomorrow evening, we meet with the Council,” Vyvyan says.
“You may speak with your mother while we’re at the meeting. Use that time to persuade her to abandon her research. But understand this—if you’re even a second late to meet us afterward, you’ll be locked out of the Nest forever. Got it?”
“Got it.” I’ll make it back before she does.
Mom and I are on good terms now; she will listen to me.
“Good,” Vyvyan says, waving her hand.
“Now, go.”
I turn to leave.
How could Mom not tell me about her research?
Unless it’s a secret.
I’m several paces away from Vyvyan’s door when I hear, “Desiree!”
My muscles tense as I walk faster.
Someone grabs me, and I spin around, glaring at Vane.
We are alone in a dark tunnel.
“Come to gloat?” I growl.
“Misty hates me because of you.”
Vane scowls.
“Forget about Misty. You need to allow your mother to continue her research. It’s bigger than you.”
My jaw drops.
Why would he care about my mom’s research?
He wouldn’t.
Does he want me to fail?
It’s the only explanation that makes sense.
He’s setting me up so Vyvyan will punish me.
After all, when has Vane ever put anyone’s needs before his own?
“You’re just saying that because you don’t want me here, you?—”
“Why do you care about what I want?” he challenges.
My chest rises and falls faster.
“I don’t.”
“You shouldn’t.”
I grimace.
“Did you come after me to intimidate me? Because you don’t scare me. You’re pathetic.”
Vane shakes his head and smiles.
He has a perfect smile with gorgeous straight teeth, minus his fangs.
Fangs so sharp I remember them piercing my flesh the night he killed me.
I turn to leave.
“I know better than to intimidate you, Desiree,” he says, stopping me.
“We both know how much you enjoy being scared.” Rage and something darker coil in my stomach.
Damn him.
He moves closer, his lips brushing my ear.
I hate how my skin prickles with awareness.
When he pulls me against his solid chest, my traitorous body remembers every sinful moment we shared.
“You made these delicious sounds that drove me mad,” he murmurs, and I can’t stop the gasp that escapes me.
“Like that,” he purrs.
His answering groan reverberates through my back, turning my knees to jelly even as fury ignites within my chest.
My head tilts back against his chest.
I loathe how my body melts at his voice, how my eyes flutter shut.
“What are you doing, Desiree?” he whispers.
But the question sounds more like, “What are you doing to me, Desiree?”
My eyes snap open, and I jerk away from him.
“Stay the hell away from me,” I pant.
“I’m trying,” he says.
As he walks away, his laughter echoes in the hall.
I lean against the cold stone wall.
The ache between my legs is maddening.
Vane’s lingering touch sears like a brand on my skin.
“Fuck,” I snarl, dragging my hands down my face.
What kind of masochist am I to let him get that close again?