47. Chapter Forty-Seven - Wilder
I slip my phone into my pocket after Soter’s early morning call, a knot forming in my stomach.
He’d updated me about a fire in Tsilah Cemetery and rumors of daemon activity, but right now, I’m grateful to focus on something else.
Leigh’s train arrives soon.
I know Leigh will be furious about Stellan’s article on Fynn.
But she needs to see past her anger—there’s too much at stake for the Nebula.
That’s what this meeting is about.
If the two of them can drop their grudges for five damn minutes and focus on Aurora.
.
.
These thoughts collide in my head like stray bullets, a chaotic mix of dread and determination.
Distracted by my racing mind, I exit my room and immediately run face-first into Brigid.
She gasps, losing her balance, and I barely manage to catch her to keep her from falling.
“Woah, sorry,” I say, steadying her.
Brigid laughs, but there’s a bitter edge to it.
“In a hurry to get Leigh?”
“I don’t want to be late.” I retreat into my room.
She follows me.
We haven’t spoken in person since before she sent those damning texts about Stellan’s article and Leigh.
She believes Leigh knew about Fynn, but that’s because she wants to think the worst about Leigh to justify her hatred for all Epsilon.
If she’s here to try and convince me that Leigh is bad news, I don’t want to hear it.
Brigid sighs.
“Am I not worth five minutes of your time?”
I sigh, sensing she won’t let me leave until she says what she came here to say.
She’s in a dress instead of a uniform—something she only ever did when trying to impress me.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
Brigid dangles a pair of car keys before me.
“I thought I’d offer my company. She probably has a lot of luggage. My car has all that room.” Brigid smirks, her eyes glinting with a suggestive look.
A blatant attempt to remind me of her car’s spacious backseat.
I clench my jaw, unamused by her transparent efforts to worm her way inside my head.
It’s a cheap move, using our history to manipulate me.
I’ve made it clear I’ve moved on, and her constant attempts to undermine my current relationship only piss me off.
I’m not interested in her or revisiting a closed chapter of my life.
I narrow my eyes at the keys.
“I am good. Thanks.”
I need time alone with Leigh before the meeting.
We’ve been keeping secrets from each other, and it’s time we confronted our lies.
I love her and want to clarify that I’m there for her in every way, not just physically.
We need to talk honestly about our relationship and where we stand before facing Stellan.
I don’t expect Brigid to understand.
Brigid frowns.
“What’s your problem? I thought we were friends.”
“We are, but you clearly want more,” I reply.
“That doesn’t give you the right to treat me like trash. Unless you are afraid of being alone with me.” A sly smile plays on her lips as she toys with the locket clasped around her neck.
She never takes off her mother’s belongings.
Brigid’s mother disappeared when she was seven years old.
Up and vanished, and no amount of Blade resources have been able to find her.
Her constant need for affection might directly result from being abandoned at a young age.
“Brigid. Stop.”
She grips her keys tighter.
“Tell Leigh to return to Borealis. Take Stellan up on his offer. She’s not right for you.”
I grit my teeth.
“This conversation is over.”
“You’re making a mistake.” Brigid crowds me.
I shuffle back.
“Think of what backing Stellan could mean for you and your family.” She purses her lips, her eyes taking in the sparse furnishings.
“Being a Blade isn’t enough. You’re made for bigger things; Stellan can help you, not Leigh. Only a Nebula can understand another Nebula.”
I shake my head.
Stellan’s heart is in the right place; I respect his call for more opportunity for the Nebula.
But he can’t deliver on that promise without support.
Leigh can be that support.
Keeping the country together is my top priority.
I take a deep breath.
“Brigid, it’s over. Let it go.”
“You were the one who said she was a grenade with the pin pulled,” Brigid snaps.
“Remember, you said that she was a disaster waiting to happen your first week here?”
I wince.
Over a year ago, the night Leigh’s family was killed, I found her lying bloody and bruised in the earthquake’s devastation.
Despite her injuries, she clawed at me.
She spat that I couldn’t help, and I took it personally.
Her rejection cut deep—not because I was angry, but because it confirmed my deepest fear: I wasn’t good enough for someone like her.
A Blade would never be worthy of a royal.
I felt inadequate, insignificant.
When I arrived in Aurora the next morning, I told Brigid and the others some not-so-nice things about her.
But I was unfairly channeling my insecurities into harsh words.
The moment I saw Leigh again more than a year later, despite everything I’d said, I was drawn to her like a moth to flame.
All those feelings of inadequacy were still there, but so was something else—something stronger.
Leigh is not the tyrant Brigid wants her to be.
“I did say that, but?—”
A gasp pierces my ears, and I follow the sound, my heart breaking when I see Leigh standing in the doorway, her mouth slightly agape.
She overheard my admission about calling her a disaster, but she has no idea that those words came from feeling worthless in her presence, not from genuine dislike.
She doesn’t know how her actions that night affected me, how they made me question my place in this world.
I move toward her, desperate to explain, but she shuffles back, her eyes wide with what I suspect is hurt and confusion.
I blink, shaking my head, trying to make sense of the situation.
How is she here already?
She wasn’t supposed to arrive for another hour.
“Leigh, let me explain,” I say.
I can fix this.
I must fix it before she runs out on me and potentially on Stellan.
She needs to know I didn’t mean what I said back then.
I was a different person.
“I don’t know what all you heard, but I promise?—”
Leigh holds up her hand to silence me.
“Is she the girl Moran mentioned that day at Kratos?” She glares at Brigid, whose persistent smile tells me she’s relishing in Leigh’s anger.
I shake my head, momentarily thrown.
“What girl?”
“Your dad mentioned you had a girl in Aurora.”
Brigid grabs my arm.
“You told your dad about me?”
I run my hands through my hair.
This is not what we needed to talk about.
“Leigh, listen to?—”
“Where’s Gianna’s room?” she asks coldly.
“Across the hall,” Brigid answers.
“But I saw her in the courtyard.”
Leigh nods.
“Thanks. I’ll let you two finish your conversation.” Leigh gives me one last look.
It’s filled with so much hurt.
I trip over my feet chasing after her.
“Wait, Leigh!” We need to talk.
She’s keeping secrets, not me.
Brigid means nothing to me.
My plan with Stellan requires us to be united, but our relationship needs mending.
It might not last much longer if she doesn’t give me a chance to explain.
“Wilder, let her go,” Brigid says, halting me.
“Did you know Leigh’s train got in early?” I whirl to face her.
Brigid shrugs.
“Papa told me she changed her train reservation to arrive sooner from Mensa Station.”
“You make me sick.”
Brigid pales.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Brigid, we were friends, but right now? Looking at you reminds me of everything wrong in this world.”
Her eyes swim with tears.
Brigid’s been hurt one too many times.
But I am no longer supporting her.
She believes Stellan will fix all her problems and that his promises of a free Aurora will allow her to get revenge on all those who’ve wronged her in the past, including her mother.
She doesn’t see how Stellan’s plans won’t work without Leigh.
I leave Brigid crying in my room, just as I did when I left Aurora for Borealis in September.
But I’m not walking away from a chance at love this time.
I’m walking toward it.