61. Chapter Sixty-One - Desiree
We bypass the hospital’s front entrance, opting for the loading dock where supplies are delivered.
After telling me he has a way inside, Vane leads the way.
As we approach our rendezvous point, a familiar figure emerges from the shadows—the black-haired healer who tried to stop me earlier crosses her arms.
Her scrubs are even more wrinkled and blood-splattered now.
Our gazes meet, and I brace myself for the alarm to sound, but she remains silent.
“You owe me,” she says to Vane.
I raise my brows.
Do they know each other?
“You know I’ll make it up to you, Lilith,” Vane replies with a tone as smooth as silk.
The witch smiles.
Her pupils dilate before she blinks.
My insides swirl with unease.
I try to ignore the feeling as I pass them and climb the emergency stairs to Mom’s lab.
“Don’t be jealous,” Vane whispers behind me.
“And before you say you aren’t, remember that I had to watch you go on a date with Jaxson.”
A pang shoots through my chest.
Jaxson should be in Glaucus by now.
With the wolves’ invasion looming, will the Domna trials be postponed?
“You practically forced me to go on that date,” I remind Vane.
“Because I wanted you to see that you had a life outside the Nest,” Vane defends.
I stop walking.
Now I understand his intentions—he wanted to push me toward Jaxson and away from the Nest so I could discover acceptance and belonging elsewhere.
But his methods are still manipulative, even if they came from a place of care.
“We will talk later,” I reply.
Vane chuckles darkly.
“Your tone implies punishment.”
“You are reprehensible.”
Lilith clears her throat as we reach the door to Mom’s floor.
“Fair warning,” she says.
“Your mom isn’t happy.”
Guilt claws down my throat.
I pushed everyone away—Mom, Wilder, Jaxson, even Dad.
I’ve been selfish, focusing on my desires without considering the consequences and how they affect the people I love most.
Vane’s hand finds the small of my back.
I lean into his touch, hesitating.
Once I cross this threshold, there will be no turning back.
Mom’s reaction will be a burden I must bear.
But the country depends on it.
My loved ones depend on it.
I step inside.
The room is an anarchic mess of shattered glass and debris.
The empty cage door hangs open, and the window through which I freed the bats yawns wide.
Mom stands amidst the wreckage, a broom in hand, her shoulders curled.
“Mom,” my voice is barely louder than the whir of the fluorescent lights still fueled by the backup generator.
Mom’s shoulders reach her ears.
I inch closer.
“I am sorry,” I breathe.
Mom exhales, the tension draining from her posture.
I gesture to the broom in her hand.
“Can I help you?”
Before she can respond, Vane takes the broom.
We watch, transfixed, as Prince Vane, the leader of the vampires, sweeps .
“The cure was about more than you, Desiree,” Mom says, sounding exhausted.
I wince, remembering Vane saying something almost identical last week.
“You had no right to take away the choice of others.”
My gaze falls to my platform shoes.
She’s right.
The cure will give many vampires who regret their choices, like Zev, the chance to return to their former lives.
I’ve been so scared about how Vyvyan would react if people found out what my blood could do that I never considered how many vampires might welcome the choice.
“I was angry?—”
“You should have said something rather than thrown a tantrum.”
My fists curl.
“To say something, you would have to listen.”
“What are you saying? That I am a bad mom?” she huffs, her eyes narrowing.
“You would have to be there to be a bad mom,” I snap.
“You haven’t been there for me since I was fourteen, when your job became more important than your kids.”
Mom folds her arms.
Her white coat hangs from a rack near the whiteboard.
“I worked to provide for you , Desiree. I’m sorry if?—”
“I didn’t want you to become the Altum Healer if it meant never seeing you! You and Dad worked hard to give us a life many Nebula dreamed of having, but at what cost? I am not saying your work isn’t important, but it made me feel like I wasn’t. My opinion never mattered growing up. I was miserable as a healer, but you and Dad didn’t care so long as Wilder and I did what you wanted.”
“If you hated being a healer, you should have spoken up rather than stage your death to become a vampire,” Mom disputes.
The accusation stings.
“I staged my death to help Dad hide the letters, to keep you and Wilder safe when you were too obsessed with your careers to notice what was happening around you. Why would I have gone to you for help when you never even noticed I was being tormented in high school? And by Juliette, no less?”
“What?” Mom asks.
“ By Juliette?”
Tears well in my eyes, hot and stinging.
I blink furiously, trying to hold them back.
“I didn’t stop being Juliette’s friend. She stopped being mine. Yet you picked her over me the other night. Do you know how much that hurt?”
To my surprise, moisture glimmers in Mom’s eyes, a crack in her usually impenetrable armor.
“I didn’t know.”
I inhale deeply.
“Well, now you do, and I am not telling you this to punish you or Juliette, but because I am tired. I am so sick and tired of trying to keep things bottled up to protect everyone else’s feelings. I am tired of trying to make everyone else happy. I am tired of trying to hide my feelings to spare others.”
I exhale.
My shoulders uncurl, and my body feels lighter than it did ten minutes ago.
It feels good to get everything off my chest without fearing the repercussions.
I knew pain until I found solace in Jaxson, Vane, and my friends in the Nest.
But then I lost them, too, and it has taken me this long to find my voice and come to terms with the fact that I don’t need others to define my place in the world.
I am enough.
“I am sorry you felt that way, Desiree.” My mom’s voice breaks, and so does my heart.
“It’s no wonder you destroyed the lab to get back at m-me.”
I reach for her hand.
“Mom, I’m sorry for what I did, but not all is lost.” She tries to pull away, but I hold fast.
“I am the cure.”
Mom gasps.
“What?”
“During the blackout, a daemon attacked Vyvyan and Vane. She was gravely injured, but my blood healed her. It also temporarily turned her human,” I explain, and Mom listens intently to every word.
“She’s a vampire again now. Still, she had to wait a few days to metabolize my blood before Vane could turn her back to avoid anyone discovering what had happened.”
Mom glances at Vane, who nods.
“It’s true.”
“Then we must run some tests. Do you have anywhere you need to be? The president’s lockdown will go into effect soon. We must shelter-in-place to prepare for a war with Lua.” I nod, and Mom’s eyes widen.
“Is Wilder okay? I haven’t been able to reach him in Aurora.”
I shrug.
“He is with Leigh, so I hope so.”
Mom nods, but fear for her son’s safety and the instability threatening the nation consumes her expression.
But she takes a deep breath, saying, “You’ll have to sleep here.” She pulls away from me, turning to the whiteboard.
I glance at Vane, who shrugs.
We can sleep in one of the on-call rooms at sunrise.
“Do you have any idea what this cure means?”
“It will mean nothing unless we find a way to synthesize it and get it to Leigh. It’s the only way to stop this war.” Vane is by my side.
His hand finds mine.
Mom’s brow lifts at our interlocked fingers.
She undoubtedly wonders about Jaxson, but there’s no time to explain.
“Leigh needs the cure?” Mom asks instead.
I nod, my expression grim.
“Prince Alden’s mate was turned into a vampire. Leigh will offer him the cure in exchange for peace with Lua.”
Mom’s forehead pinches.
“There’s no reliable way to synthesize a stable cure from your blood until I’ve done tests, which could take weeks or longer. We also don’t know how it will work with werewolves.”
My smile fades.
“W-what?” I hadn’t considered any of that.
Vane and I exchange furrowed glances.
Have we already lost?
Mom scribbles on the whiteboard, the marker squeaking against the surface.
“But what if they need the cure soon, like now?” I ask.
Mom glances at me.
A shadow crosses her eyes.
“The only reliable way would be to take it straight from your veins. You could bring Alden’s mate here, or you could?—”
“Go straight to the patient,” I finish.
Vane squeezes my hand, serving as an anchor in the spinning room.
The thought of being at Alden’s mercy, of him taking what he wants from me and then imprisoning me, turns my world on its axis.
“You don’t have to do this, Desiree,” Vane murmurs.
“We can find another way.”
But what choice do I have?
The fate of my family—both witch and vampire—hangs in the balance.
“Fine,” I say.
“Take what you need from me for your research because there’s a possibility you won’t see me for a very long time.”
Mom and I share a loaded stare.
After a moment, Mom nods, and her doctor persona takes over.
She barks orders to interns and healers, including Juliette, who glares at me from the hallway.
I smile at her.
She can’t hurt me anymore.