Chapter 14
fourteen
My heart hadn't stopped racing in the two hours since the balloon returned to the ground. I’d been pacing the open field ever since Tripp and Elliot helped me out of the basket. Ava and Tripp both kept their distance, but I could feel their gazes locked on me. Everyone else from Take the Leap and the hot air balloon team had moved on to their paying customers. I was acutely aware of the curious stares of the newcomers, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to worry about them.
“Sadie?” Ava asked and fell into step alongside me. “I have to head out. Are you going to ride back with me? Or do you need some more time? Tripp said he’d stick around.”
“Huh?” I asked. I paused and looked at her. “Where are you going? Oh, wait. Is tonight that blind date your mom set up?”
Ava nodded. “I don’t want to be late. Senator Reed would die of embarrassment if her daughter showed up ten minutes late to a date with her favorite lawyer’s son.”
“I can call her and tell her it’s my fault if you don’t want to go.” Ava’s mother had found another eligible suitor for her daughter. I knew how much she hated those dates, so I put aside the fear of being on the wrong side of Senator Reed’s wrath and volunteered as tribute for the best friend who always had my back.
A soft pink blush colored her cheeks. “I am actually kind of excited about this one. I stalked him on social media. He’s cute and shares the funniest memes. So, who knows, maybe Mom finally found a good one.”
I crossed my fingers and held them up. “Go. I can call a ride share or hitch a ride with Tripp.”
“Option two, for sure,” Ava said with a wink. “What happened up there, anyway?”
I shrugged. “It was going great until the wind picked up. I think I’d been enjoying it up until that point.”
“That’s two challenges that haven’t injured or killed you,” Ava said and glanced at her watch. “Crap, I have to go. But I want details later, okay?”
“No, I will be the one grilling you after your date. I’ll have wine and ice cream ready.” She leaned toward me and kissed the top of my head. “Good luck!”
She tossed me one last smile and took off running for her car. I watched her for a moment before glancing toward Tripp. I caught his eye and held his gaze. I both loved and hated the way my stomach flip-flopped every time his blue-grey eyes locked on mine. Even from a few hundred feet away, I could see the way the sunlight made them appear to sparkle. We started walking toward each other. I tried to force my pulse to slow, but the closer he got to me, the quicker it raced.
“My ride left,” I said, shrugging.
“I saw that. I was about to head out and grab some dinner. Are you hungry?”
Yes.
No.
“Sure,” I said, “if I won’t be interrupting your Friday night plans.”
He shook his head. “I have no plans. There’s a great barbecue place a few miles up the road. How does that sound?”
“Perfect.” It was messy and about the least romantic meal I could think of, so it was ideal.
We walked side-by-side to his Jeep. My hand twitched with the desire to reach for his hand. At first I ignored it. Then his hand brushed against mine, and I let the urge to touch him win. Without a hint of hesitation, he wrapped his hand around mine. It was amazing how well our hands fit together like custom tailored gloves meant for only us.
In the Jeep, we made small talk. I sensed he wanted to ask about the balloon and what had sparked my panic, but he didn’t ask, and I wasn’t about to bring it up. So, we talked about the weather and the app downloads. Tripp jumped out when we got to the restaurant and rushed around to open the door for me. He held out his hand to help me climb out of the Jeep. I almost rejected the offer, but then I looked down and remembered just how far off the ground the sidestep was. I took his hand and jumped down. He wrapped his hand around mine firmly as we walked into the restaurant. It was just after five, so they were pretty busy, but we managed to find a small table near the bar. The music wasn’t too loud, but the chorus of conversation filled the restaurant.
I took a deep inhale and closed my eyes. The smell of smoked meat and the sweet scent of sauce made my stomach growl. “I didn’t realize how hungry I am,” I said.
“I imagine this is what heaven smells like.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Heaven smells like fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies in my grandma’s kitchen.”
“You might be right.” The server came and took our drink order. Tripp handed me a menu. “They have some delicious barbecue nachos.”
“Only if we can do the pulled pork.” I love chicken as much as anyone, but I firmly believe that pork and brisket make for the best barbecue. Anytime I shared an appetizer with Ava, we had to get chicken or something with vegetables.
“Good call.”
We ordered our appetizers and meals. He opted for the meat sampler, which included sausage, brisket, ribs, and chicken, while I ordered the brisket. We both chose mac and cheese and baked beans for our sides.
“Are you close to your grandma?” Tripp asked. His question caught me off guard. “I only ask because you mentioned her kitchen and chocolate chip cookies.”
“Oh, yeah. Um,” I said, hesitating. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to share with him. I hadn’t been thinking clearly when I mentioned her earlier. “Gran raised Seth and me. She used to make us chocolate chip cookies every Friday after school.”
“She sounds amazing. Does she live here?”
“She did, yeah. She died a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Where are your parents?” I winced. Tripp frowned and said, “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. I’ve just been curious to know more about you.”
“You want to know why I’m scared of my own shadow?” I laughed. “My therapist spends an hour a week with me, and she is still trying to figure that out.”
“No, I want to know what makes you, you. You’re a beautiful, intelligent, funny, and kind woman. You’re creative, and you’ve built an amazing business.” He paused and met my gaze. “I want to know you. Tell me your story, Sadie.”
His intensity warmed me from the inside out and made me want to tell him everything there was to know about Sadie Barnes. “My mom died from complications in childbirth when Seth and I were born. Undiagnosed eclampsia. Brett, my dad, couldn’t handle newborn twins alone, so Gran moved up to Kansas City to help him. Then, he met someone new and decided fatherhood wasn’t for him and shipped us off to live here with Gran when we were two.”
I kept to the facts and tried not to let the retelling of our story get to me. Aside from Ava, I’d never told anyone the full truth. If anyone asked, which they rarely did because I never let anyone close enough to be curious, I simply said Gran raised us, and she was fantastic. Both were true. But the way Tripp was studying me made me want to tell him everything. He leaned in and listened carefully.
“Then, when we were seventeen, Gran had an accident,” I said, swallowing back the lump that always rose in my throat when I thought or talked about that night. “Seth and I had snuck out of the house to go to some stupid party. Gran must have heard the door close or something and got out of bed to investigate. She fell down the stairs. Seth and I didn’t find her until we snuck back in the next morning.”
“Oh, wow. You found her?” he asked in a soft whisper. He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of mine. “Sadie, that’s heartbreaking.”
“I often replay that night. If we’d stayed home or come home sooner, she’d still be here. If we’d picked up the laundry basket at the top of the stairs like she’d asked. Or if we’d never lived there in the first place. She’d still be here.”
“You can’t blame yourself, Sadie.”
“I can, and I do. Brett does as well. We killed his beloved wife and his mother. No wonder he wanted so little to do with us.” No matter how many times my brother and Ava tried to talk me out of this line of thinking, they couldn’t. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. The math was clear—Sadie + anything = disaster and death. I couldn’t change the past, but I could plan the future to avoid hurting myself or anyone else.
I pulled my hand out from under his and sat back, putting more distance between us. “And now you know the real Sadie. I bet you wish you hadn’t asked.” I tried to laugh but couldn’t force out the sound.
“Not at all. I’m glad you told me.”
“Why? So, you can cancel our contract and run for the hills? We probably should add a Sadie disaster clause to our contracts.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why? It’s true. I’m a mess, Tripp. This whole campaign and challenge came about because I’m a joke.”
He shook his head. “You’re guarded, which makes sense. You’ve experienced so much heartbreak, and yet you’re still here and pushing forward. You think you have to go it alone, but you don’t. You’ve had Seth and Ava, and now me.”
“You barely know me,” I argued.
“Then let me in and let me know you.” Why was he so insistent? Why did he care?
“After everything I just told you, you still want to know more?”
“Yes, Sadie, I want to know more. You’re all I think about, and not just because of the amazing work you and Ava are doing. Because every single time you touch me, it’s like I’ve forgotten how to breath. I want to protect you but also show you that the world isn’t a scary place. I want to show you that there are people you can count on.”
I shook my head. “You want to know how I’ve never had a relationship last more than two dates? Or how the thought of dating scares me more than jumping out of an airplane? Or how I know, deep down, that no matter how hard I try, I’m never going to be able to fall in love or let someone fall in love with me? Or, that I like the safety in knowing I’ll never hurt if I never love? Maybe I like living in my little bubble. I can’t even consider living outside of the safety net I’ve created because every time I do, I see my Gran’s lifeless body lying at the bottom of the stairs. I can still taste the stale alcohol on my tongue from that morning.”
I shut my mouth. I’d already said too much. I swiped my hand under my eye to catch the errant tear. “Sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean to unload all of that on you.”
“It’s okay, I can take it.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“What if I want to?”
How did he always know the exact right thing to say? “Why?” I asked, my voice barely audible.
“Because I like you.” He said it matter-of-factly as if there was no other possible explanation.
I sat with this information and let it sink in. It took every ounce of self control to not continue telling him every reason why he shouldn’t like or want me. Instead, I lifted my eyes and met his. He held me there in his gaze and didn’t let go. He held on when most people, including me, would’ve given up and walked away.
“Tripp,” I said, my voice shaking. “This isn’t a good idea, we work together, and for all intents and purposes, you’re my boss. You’re the client.”
His frown deepened as he considered this. “It’s complicated, for sure.”
“And let’s not forget that the campaign is off to a rocky start. What happens if we fail and all of this backfires? I don’t know if I can handle losing you as a client, much less as something more.” But the thought of never knowing if this could be something more was killing me. In a barely audible whisper, I admitted, “Because, I like you, too.”
“Then let’s take this slowly,” he suggested. “We get to know each other. We spend time together doing these challenges and then outside of work.”
It didn’t take me long to agree. “I like that idea, but first, I need you to know that Savie and Take the Leap come first, for both of us. Okay?”
“Agreed.”
I reached across the table and rested my hand over his. This time, I did it without hesitation or even a second thought. Touching him felt right.