Take the Leap

Chapter 18

eighteen

I slept in Tripp’s shirt last night. I didn’t admit this to Ava. I’d have hidden the truth from myself if I could have. Despite having worn it all day, it still smelled more like him than me. When I got up for the day, I carefully folded it neatly and placed it on my dresser. I wasn’t ready to wash it yet. When I put on the new bathing suit, kayaking-friendly swim pants, and t-shirt, I was almost tempted to throw his shirt over the top. But if I was going to be falling into the pool today, I didn’t want to be wearing baggy clothing. At least that’s what the salesperson had told me.

We arrived at Tripp’s house just before noon. Once again, the Take the Leap team was already there, along with an unfamiliar face. A very beautiful face that seemed to be very intent on standing very close to Tripp. I tried not to glare at her long, lanky frame and perfectly shiny brown hair that was elegant even in a simple ponytail. Unlike me, she didn’t look out of place standing next to him. Jealousy wasn’t a feeling I was familiar with, and I wasn’t a fan of the bitter taste it left in my mouth.

“Ready for day two?” Liam asked as we joined them.

“I’m not sure ready is the word I’d have chosen, but sure let’s go with that. Hi,” I said and held out my hand to the stranger. “I’m Sadie Barnes.”

“I know,” she said with a friendly smile. “I’ve been enjoying the new content you’ve been creating for Tripp. It’s been fun to watch.”

I searched her words for any hint of mocking or clue that she was silently laughing at me, but her words felt genuine.

“Sadie’s been great to work with,” Tripp said, “and Ava, too.”

“I’m Olivia, the kayak instructor. I’ve worked with Tripp and his team on a few different outings. I even taught this one everything he knows.” She playfully bumped her shoulder against Tripp’s. I chewed the inside of my cheek to avoid saying or doing anything that might show what I was feeling, which was another wave of intense jealousy. Get it together , I silently scolded myself.

“Nice to meet you,” Ava said. “So, what’s the plan for today? Will you be in the pool with her?”

“Yeah, so, based on what Tripp told me, they’ll be in a two-seater open sit-on kayak, right?” I nodded. “But, if you’re okay with it, I’d like to teach you some of the basics in the single sit-in kayak.”

I opened my eyes wider. “Like the one that you’re stuck inside?” The words caught in my throat. I tried to swallow back the fear. “Is that really necessary?”

Olivia’s face softened. “For your specific trip, no, but I want to make sure you know everything you need to know before I set you loose on the river. I’ll be in the water with you the entire time. We’ll first work on getting in and out of the kayak. Once you master the sit-in, the other one won’t be so scary. And even though you probably won’t need it, Tripp and I both agree that learning how to do a self-rescue will be beneficial.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Panic seized my entire body. The idea of a self-rescue kind of made sense to me, especially since I was fluent in self-preservation, but rescue implied I was already in danger. I preferred to prevent the danger from ever occurring. I stared past Olivia and at the pool. The kayak was already sitting on the edge, waiting for me. “Like, upside down? Underwater? Can I just go inside and cuddle with Tripp’s cats while you all do this without me?” I was looking forward to meeting his dynamic feline trio, and I’d take any excuse I could use to get out of this training.

She bit her lip and nodded. “I promise you I will not push you past your comfort point. If you need to stop at any time, we’ll shift our focus.”

I wanted to say no, but even though I’d just met her, I felt like I could trust her. “Okay.”

“And I’ll be there too. I’ll stay out of Olivia’s way so she can do what she does best, but I’ll be right there with you.”

“And you have all of us here, too,” Liam said, “all of us are fully trained kayakers. I’m also a certified lifeguard.”

My face must have shown the sheer panic and shock buzzing inside my veins because Liam immediately backtracked. “I mean … not like that … you won’t need that because you have all of us here to make sure nothing happens.” He looked to Tripp for help, his eyes wide and pleading.

Tripp inched closer to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “He’s right. We’re all here to make sure you learn how to handle the kayak, the paddles, and the water. Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “Why is he being nice to me?” I asked, pointing at Liam. “It’s freaking me out.”

Tripp’s eyebrows raised in confusion, and then he started laughing loudly. The rest of the group joined in.

“No, seriously. He’s always the first to make fun of me or laugh when I get scared. Now he’s offering to make sure I feel safe? Something’s fishy.”

“Sorry,” Liam said, “Watching back the footage and editing everything made me see what a jerk I was being. I still think you’re ridiculous sometimes, but I promised Tripp and Ava I’d try to be nicer and more understanding.” He actually sounded remorseful.

“I threatened to break his nose if he laughed at you again,” Ava said. She held up her fists and bounced like a boxer ready to pounce. Liam held up his hands and stepped back. My lips curved into a thin smile. I appreciated the gesture and Liam’s attempt at playing nice.

“It still freaks me out.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll randomly point at you and laugh.”

“Thanks, I’d appreciate that.”

“All right, enough stalling, time to get in the water, Sadie.” Olivia clapped her hands and led us all toward the pool. “I see you’ve got the appropriate clothes on. Not too loose. Do you have your gear?”

Tripp held up the helmet and life jacket I’d left here last night. She nodded in approval, and he helped me get everything buckled and strapped.

For the next hour, Olivia showed me how to get into the kayak and then into the pool. I felt like I’d had the move mastered but she had me practice over and over until I was sure everyone else had fallen asleep, me included. She was so matter of fact and straight to the point, that I couldn’t even throw in a joke or two to keep things interesting. Straddle the kayak. Sit on the back of the cockpit. Straighten legs and slide in. Use the paddle to balance and push into the water.

On my first attempt, I tipped too far to the right and flipped straight into the water. I screamed as the boat rocked to the side and took in a mouthful of water. My legs and arms flailed every which way. It took me one too many seconds to get back above water.

“Sadie!” Olivia scolded me in a sharp tone once the kayak was righted. I stopped squirming and stared at her. Her lips were pulled into a tight line. She shook her head at me. Apparently, wigging out was not the proper response. “Every time you panic, you set yourself up for the potential of something worse happening. Before you lose control of your emotions, you have got to get yourself out of harm’s way. Understood?”

I nodded. “Sorry, can we try again?”

I only tipped over three of the ten times I did the entrance. But after the first, I didn’t freak out. At least not externally. On the inside, it felt as those I had a mild heart attack with every flip. Each time, she and Tripp quickly righted me, so I wasn’t underwater for more than a few seconds.

“Good,” Olivia finally announced after my tenth plunge into the pool.

She took hold of the nose of the kayak and guided me out to the middle of the pool. We spent a few minutes on how to hold the paddle. I remembered most of what Tripp had taught me yesterday, but Olivia was much less forgiving in how loose or tight my grip was. If it was too tight, she’d tap my fingers until I loosened my hold to her satisfaction. If I was too loose, she wrapped her hand around mine to show me the proper grip. Compared to Tripp, her hands were soft and smooth. But at least they didn’t send a rush of hormones through my body.

“Now we’re ready to learn how to self-rescue. I’m going to show you the motions above water, and then I’ll demonstrate, okay?”

“Sure.” I was anything but ready for this portion of the training, but it had to happen. Olivia got out of the pool and pulled a second kayak into the water. I glanced around the pool and found Tripp, Liam, and Ava all staring at me with complete focus. Ava chewed her thumbnail while Tripp wrung his hands in his lap. Liam just sat completely still and watched with curiosity. I imagined he was waiting for my mental breakdown. I’d had two in front of them, so a third was likely.

Before she moved on to showing me how to do a wet exit, she gave tips on how to right the kayak to keep it from capsizing. It all came down to finding balance and steadying the boat. I sat motionless and listened with rapt attention as she went over the steps. I memorized each movement.

When it was my turn to demonstrate, I repeated her steps out loud. “Lean forward. Slide hand along the cockpit. Find the grab loop and pull. Hands on the side of cockpit. Knees together. Push forward.”

It sounded easy enough. The movements felt natural above water. I practiced a few more times while she got into her kayak. While it seemed easy enough, I was 100% certain I wasn’t going to be able to do any of this the minute I was upside down.

“Can one of you tip me over?” she asked. Tripp volunteered and stepped into the pool. He gave me a quick wink before making his way to Olivia’s boat. “Ready when you are, Trippster. Don’t go gentle on me.” There was more than a hint of flirtation in her voice, but he didn’t blush or react. Instead, he grabbed the edge of her boat and flipped her over in one swift move. Then he looked toward me and smiled as if to reassure me of something.

I tried not to be distracted by whatever silent message he was sending me and focused on watching Olivia slide out of her kayak. It happened too quickly for me to actually take note of what she’d done. She was underwater for less than ten seconds. She popped back up and splashed water toward Tripp. “I told you not to be gentle. I didn’t say to try and drown me.” I was worried she was angry, but she started laughing. “Did you see any of that, Sadie?”

I shook my head. I’d seen her boat tip and then her pop out of the water. I didn’t want to ask her to do it again, but I needed to watch without Tripp distracting me.

“On the count of three this time, okay?” Tripp nodded sheepishly. She counted down and when they hit three, he grabbed the edge of her boat and flipped her over. This time, he did it slowly, so the water stayed calm. I could see her hand reach for the loop and pull. I watched her arms brace against the side and then she leaned forward and slipped out. I had to admit, it looked easy.

“I think I got it that time. I won’t make you do it again,” I said once she resurfaced. Tripp tapped the top of her helmet and started to climb out of the pool. “Wait, aren’t you going to stay?”

The question was out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. But watching him leave me alone in the water sent a shrill of panic up my spine. I knew Olivia was more than capable of teaching me, but I’d yet to do any of the scary stuff without him right by my side. I wanted him there … no, I needed him. The realization slammed into me like a hurricane, knocking my breath away. I tried to backtrack and erase the deep feeling of need that filled my entire being but couldn’t. I’d felt what I felt and there was no going back.

“Sure, I can stay,” he said and slipped back into the pool. “I’ll stay out of your way, though. I’m just here for moral support, okay?”

I nodded and asked Olivia to go through the motions with me one more time before agreeing to be flipped upside down. When it was time, I looked toward Tripp and met his gaze. His face was the picture of confidence. It was the last thing I saw before my eyes, nose, and mouth filled with water. I hadn’t thought to take a deep breath or do anything to prepare my body for the flip. But I didn’t panic. I quickly replayed the steps Olivia had taught me. I leaned forward and felt for the loop. When I pulled it, I pushed my knees together and slipped out of the boat. My lifejacket did its job and pulled me to the surface.

When I popped out of the water, Liam and Ava jumped to their feet and cheered.

Tripp swam toward me and wrapped his arms around me. He shouted, “You just did that! Holy crap, Sadie, you did it! You didn’t panic or anything. You did exactly what you were supposed to and got out like a pro.”

I leaned into his embrace. When I felt his cheek brush mine, every ounce of tension I’d been holding onto released.

“I did it.”

“Well,” Oliva said, beaming with pride, “you had a good teacher. I think we do that a few more times then move on to the kayak you and Tripp will be in this weekend.”

I couldn’t respond. I was too busy letting my thoughts and body get lost in the feeling of Tripp’s arms around me. I wasn’t sure what scared me more, letting go of him or admitting that I didn’t want to let go.