Chapter 26
twenty-six
At the restaurant, a family-owned Mexican bar and grill, I sat between Tripp and his mother, Carly. Like me, she was a petite woman. Tripp definitely got his height from his dad. I’d been expecting to feel like a third, or seventh, wheel, but they went out of their way to include me in the conversation. I did my best to channel every ounce of extrovert I could.
“So, Sadie, Tripp tells us you have a twin brother?” His dad, Robert, asked over chips and queso.
I took a sip of my margarita and nodded. “Yes, Seth. He’s actually working with Tripp and his team on an app for the company.”
“The quiz you told me about?” Carly asked.
“That’s the one. Seth’s been a Quest member for a few years, and the app was actually his idea. He’s also the one that suggested we give Sadie and Ava’s agency a shot.”
I glanced up at him and furrowed my brow. He had ? Seth had been the one to tell us Take the Leap was looking for a new agency, but I didn’t know he’d played a role in encouraging Tripp and his team to invite us to pitch them.
Tripp reached under the table and squeezed my hand. “He basically told us any campaign that didn’t involve Savie Media would be a massive flop,” he said.
Wow. “He’s a pretty good brother.”
“So, is he your only sibling?” Zoe asked. I nodded. “What’s that like. Was it quiet growing up? I bet it wasn’t chaos like our house.”
“I don’t know, I’d bet my Gran would say we were anything but quiet. Seth and I have pretty different personalities, so we were always arguing and fighting over something. She used to joke and threaten to send us to marriage counseling.”
Carly let out a loud, bellowing laugh. It surprised me to hear such a boisterous noise from the tiny woman. “Now that’s not a bad idea! These four would’ve benefited from some couple’s therapy. If two of them weren’t fighting, all four were.”
I glanced around the table and took in the amused faces of Tripp and his sisters. “Let me guess, Tripp was the instigator and Lydia, the peacemaker.”
Tripp playfully bumped my shoulder and shook his head. “No, that was Zoe.”
“What?” Zoe asked in mock outrage. “Little old me?”
“Yes!” Tripp and Lydia shouted.
“You were always stealing my clothes,” Kelsey said, pointing at Lydia, “and you, Tripp, cut the hair on every one of my Barbie dolls because I didn’t take you sledding with me and my friends.”
My mouth dropped open as I watched a guilty, mischievous grin spread across his face. “You didn’t!”
I dropped his head in shame. “I did.”
“Mr. James, I’m shocked and horrified.”
“See,” Carly said, crossing her arms over her chest, “couples therapy would’ve been brilliant.”
From there, the conversation shifted to Noah and the role he played during his short life. They all wondered who he’d have grown up to be and even argued over which sibling would be his favorite. Each of them had an entire life dreamed up for him. I don’t know how they could imagine him as a grown-up and not collapse under the unbearable weight of his loss, but they’d been all smiles as they shared their fantasies. The rare few times I’d allowed myself to ask the what-if questions about my mom had never ended well. What good would it do, anyway? She was gone before I’d even had a chance to meet or know her, and my father had never bothered to fill in the gaps. Gran had tried to keep us close to her parents but seeing us was too much for them.
It was nearly sunset by the time we headed back to Nashville.
“Your family is amazing,” I said, facing him. “Loving and kind, I’m still in shock that you all were so normal and calm about jumping out of the plane. Like it was nothing, though it probably is like nothing at this point.”
“I don’t know if it will ever feel like nothing. I always get a rush when I feel the wind on my face right before I jump. It’s exhilarating. If it ever becomes routine or boring, I’ll have to find something else to do. But I’ve never done this just for myself. It’s always been for him, which keeps the thrill alive.”
“Thank you for bringing me along today. It was insane to see that, but I know how important today is for your family. I’m honored to have been included.”
“I wanted you to experience this the way we do before you’re the one diving. It’s one thing to go through the training and planning, but it’s totally different when you go up just to watch.”
“Do you ever do that?” I couldn’t picture him sitting patiently on the plane while everyone else jumped. He didn’t seem like the kind of man who enjoys sitting on the sidelines.
“Sometimes. Usually, when we have first-time divers or if it’s an employee or friend. I’ve found that having a familiar face helps relax people.”
“You do seem to have that effect on me.”
“I relax you?” he asked.
Among a thousand other sensations that I wasn’t quite sure how to share with him, but knew I needed to. I couldn’t continue obsessing over what was or wasn’t happening between us. “When I’m about to do something scary, yes.”
I glanced at him and caught his irresistible half-smile. Then, my hand grew a mind of its own. It reached across the space between us and landed on his leg. His muscle twitched slightly under my touch. He took hold of my hand and raised it to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of my hand. His soft lips lingered over my hand as if they couldn’t bear the thought of being separated again. When he finally released his kiss,I brushed my fingers over his lips and down his cheek.
I sighed and dropped my head against the seat.
“Everything makes so much sense when I’m with you,” I said, closing my eyes. “The old me would be fighting every single sensation I’m feeling right now, but I don’t think I’m that person anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know what it is about you, Tripp James, but every time you touch me, it feels like a bit more of the walls I’ve spent years building are coming down around me. It’s scary, but at the same time, it’s freeing.”
“Kind of like what I said about skydiving earlier?”
“Maybe, yeah? Except, I feel like I’m completely and utterly out of control, and it feels natural.”
“That’s pretty much what it feels like when I jump.”
“So, you want the sky and the clouds to kiss you, too?” I asked. He lifted my hand to his lips again. I opened my eyes and turned to face him. My lips curled into a teasing smile. “But not there.”
“We’re in a moving car, Sadie, this is the best I can do right now.”
“I’m pretty sure you can pull over at one of these small town exits.”
“If I didn’t have to get back to the office and get this footage to Liam before he heads out for vacation, I’d test that offer.”
“He needs it today?” I glanced at the clock, it was nearly seven. Surely Liam would’ve gone home for the day by now.
“Unfortunately, he wants to review the footage before he leaves it with the team so he can give them direction.”
“Oh, that makes sense,” I said. He was still worried about how this story was going to impact the business considering their audience hadn’t been too keen on the videos with me. I glanced at the GPS on his phone. We still had another hour to drive. I needed to change to subject before I lost complete control of my words and talked him into finding us a motel room. “Ava and I were talking to Liam about the next challenge.”
“Oh? Did he tell you about my idea?” Tripp asked. He ran his fingers over the skin on the back of my hand.
“He did. I know we talked about camping, and we do still need to do some of the non-scary challenges, but I think we need to keep the momentum going. I felt so comfortable and ready for kayaking. I don’t want to lose that confidence—not counting the fractured wrist.”
“We should definitely consider the fractured wrist. You’ve got another week and a half in the splint. That won’t put us too far behind.”
“Maybe not content-wise but waiting any longer might have a negative impact on me. It feels like we’ve made good progress. Or, at least, it does to me.” And it did. “I don’t think I’ll ever be the thrill seeker you are, but I’m beginning to see the appeal. A part of me—a very, very small part—wishes I could go back and do the hot air balloon or bungee jump again. I’d like to experience those without crippling fear and anxiety so I could get a taste of what it’s like.”
His smile widened as he considered this for a moment. “I’ll follow your lead on this one, but we’re okay to wait, too.”
“I appreciate that, I do. But I’m not okay with waiting.” I shifted in my seat, tucked my splinted wrist against my stomach, and wrapped my other arm over it. I didn’t have to look at him to know he was staring at my injury. He’d been doing it ever since the incident. We’d be talking or walking together, and then all of a sudden, he’d drop his gaze down to my wrist and frown. A cloud would pass over his eyes before he shook his head and pulled his attention back to me. I couldn’t decipher the look but knew it wasn’t good. Staring out the window, I let the silence between us settle.