Chapter 19
DENALI
CUT
In RV’s lobby, I flipped through notecards to work on memorizing my speech yet again.
After our failure at the Selick game, the alumni night was even more consequential. Captains from every team at Marrs were put on a schedule to give a speech. I was the last name with a ninety-second speech, the shortest on the lineup, but I wouldn’t let the donors forget it.
I needed to practice. I wouldn’t have been able to ad-lib, the anxiety would’ve gotten to me
“Elijah and I voted.” Nick thumbed towards the elevator. “You have to go upstairs and drag Bear off of June.”
I checked my watch. Of course they were five minutes late. We were supposed to be heading to the alumni center already. No doubt Bear and June were having copious amounts of sex upstairs.
Great.
“Where’s Fridge?” I asked.
“Tallulah’s writing a piece for the student paper,” Nick explained. “It’s her first assignment outside of sports. They gave her ‘special events’ this week.” I thought I saw Nick’s lips twitch for a smile before it disappeared. “They beat us there.”
Muttering, I stuffed my note cards in my jacket. “I’ll hose Bear off of June, but you assholes better be ready when I get back.”
I should’ve lied and said we had to leave thirty minutes earlier, at least then we’d be on time. Ever since they started dating for real, it was hard to separate them. I left for the elevator, but I could hear Bear, June, and Zariah’s voices.
Good. As important as the alumni night was, I wasn’t thrilled to be in a room of donors who didn’t care about us. The faster we went to the alumni night, the faster we could never do this again.
Zariah echoed in the elevator. “What? The gloves are my favorite part!”
The doors opened and Bear’s arm was way too intertwined around June, like he was afraid she’d sprout wings and fly away. They passed me into the lobby, June yelled at me to follow because ‘we can’t be late, Bear owes me a dance!’
Which would’ve been funny if I was paying attention.
I couldn’t. Not when I saw Zariah.
My jaw hit the floor. The strapless navy-blue floor-length dress brought out the deep gold of her skin. A scarf hung around her neck, draped behind her bare shoulders. With a pair of gloves up to her elbows…
Zariah looked like a starlet in those classic movies we’d always watched together.
Five years ago, she used to stand three inches away from the TV, eagerly pointing at the gowns, then sketched them in her notebooks. I pinned them up all over her bedroom with thumb tacks.
That was why this dress looked so good on her. Her cheeks were flushed because she was so happy. It made her more beautiful than I could comprehend.
A beat passed and I realized her eyes were trailing down my suit, making a slow and careful round over my body.
For the evening, I wore my gameday suit, labeled shadow gray at a shop, professionally tailored because I’m a big guy.
The slim and modern fits never did me any favors.
This was the first suit I felt comfortable in.
Zariah bit her lip, her eyes drifting.
Was she checking me out?
No. No way.
Was she?
“Denali!” Nick thundered. “You better not be eyeing my date!”
Zariah and I broke apart, heading towards our group. She said something to me, and I mumbled something unintelligible, so I had no idea what we said.
Yeah. I’d definitely been eyeing Nick’s date.
The alumni event was a night designed to piss me off.
My contacts had always given me a headache with harsh light, but the million fairy lights slammed a hammer against my skull.
The hockey table was squashed beside the kitchen where people bashed into our seats.
The wait staff, event coordinators, people looking for the bathroom, you name it, they knocked into us.
There was an open bar with expensive liquor, which would’ve been nice if Cleo didn’t give us strict orders: nobody could touch a drop. There were too many cameras.
But Zariah was overjoyed.
She squealed with happiness when she saw her friends. When the band began to play, she dragged Elijah to the dance floor, threatening to blackmail him if he didn’t comply. She tried to take Nick too, but Nick made it clear that her date duties began and ended at the door.
He could’ve given her one dance. Didn’t he ask her out to piss me off? If he did, he was doing a poor job of it. For some reason, Nick was irritable. I guess we all were. None of the Gladiators liked the alumni night.
Another donor walked by, smacking her heavy purse into Nick’s head. He swore, rubbing the spot. “Goddammit, I won the Reginald Rose Most Valuable Player Award.”
“I won the BJH Goaltender of the Year Award,” Fridge added, equally as peeved, sliding into his chair.
“I won the USAC championship,” I muttered.
Nick gave a bitter laugh. “What the hell are we doing here?”
“You guys don’t have to stay,” I said.
“I’m not leaving until after the speeches.” Elijah folded his arms over his chest. “Don’t worry, Denali. I’ll catcall you when they call you.”
“We have to be in the audience,” Fridge rebuffed.
“Yeah, shut up, Denali,” Nick agreed.
“So I get to be catcalled?” I sighed. “Great.”
“No, so you’re not, you know, alone up there,” Elijah said indignantly. “Of course you’re going to be alone, but if we’re down here then you won’t be alone-alone. You’ll still have us.”
I expected Fridge and Nick to make fun of him, but they nodded along. Nodded like…they were on the same page?
I didn’t know what to say.
“Ladies and gentleman, Ryan Cross,” the host of the evening announced.
I stared at my teammates. I didn’t think we were like that, we were that close. Fridge and Nick had become fast friends during the summer, but I didn’t think I fit into the same equation. I didn’t think that I really fit in with anyone beyond Elijah and Bear.
Tallulah crept over during the speech, taking her seat between Fridge and Nick. She was a pretty journalism major—either Cherokee or Navajo, I couldn’t remember which—and she waved at me, careful to keep her voice quiet. “Are you ready?”
I flashed my note cards. “Ready.”
But as the minutes passed, I kept checking my watch. Ryan was supposed to give a seven-minute speech and he blew through twenty.
It was honestly dull, but the donors loved it. They bought expensive season tickets and wore dark blue for the Romans. They didn’t care if it was a crappy speech. This was the guy who won them the Birchwood Bowl.
“You’ll do so much better than this shit,” Nick muttered my way.
“I know he will,” Elijah confirmed. “He’s got that ninety seconds down.”
I didn’t have a choice, Zariah was in the audience. I couldn’t stutter in front of her. Fuck the anxiety, I could do this, and I could do this fucking well.
“Mom’s coming over,” Fridge warned. “That’s a bad sign. She’ll tell you they’re changing the lineup. You probably won’t give your speech until ten o’clock.”
“Shit,” Nick mumbled. “We’ll be here all fucking night.”
Cleo weaved her way through the tables, a tired look on her face. I motioned her closer. “Hey? What’s the bad news?”
“Are we able to leave before midnight?” Nick asked. “Is that too hopeful?”
“Denali?” Cleo knelt close and touched my shoulder. “Ryan went too long. They cut your speech.”
Cleo explained that she tried to talk to the event coordinators, but the decision was final. She sighed. “But I’m still proud of you all for coming out.”
Her phone buzzed and Cleo excused herself for the call, quickly walking away. Our table stayed silent. It was like the rest of the room was quiet too beyond the annoying drone of Ryan’s voice. I didn’t realize they’d start slashing speeches but of course the Gladiators would be the first one cut.
Because Marrs didn’t give a fuck about us.
“Pizza and beer at my dorm?” Fridge asked, breaking the silence.
“We’re leaving already?” Tallulah glanced between us, crestfallen. “Fridge, weren’t we going to dance?”
“If she wants to stay…?” Nick trailed off.
“This night’s a failure,” Fridge declared, pushing up from his chair. “Tallulah, we’ll go out for another night. I can’t listen to this for another hour.”
I couldn’t agree more. Donors shot us dirty looks on our way out, but they didn’t even know who we were. And I didn’t care. For one night, I wanted to say a huge ‘fuck off’ when they made it so obvious they didn’t want us around.
We almost made it to the doors when Cleo caught up with us, her phone to her ear.
“Denali!” She stopped me, confused. “Where are you going?”
“Mom, he’s going home to lick his wounds,” Nick said.
“Home to go to sleep,” I corrected. “Because I have early practice.”
Cleo shook her head. “The captain can’t leave early.”
There was no way. I couldn’t get struck off of list and still be expected to stay around and smile… Except that was exactly what Cleo wanted. I shot a look at my teammates. None of them could hide their feelings, everyone shifted in place, uncomfortable.
“Do you want me to stay?” Elijah asked, clearly waiting for me to say ‘no.’
Nick shoved his hands in his pockets. “Want us to hang around?”
Goddammit. I couldn’t drag them down with me.
“No,” I lied. I could see the sighs of relief pass between them, like that wasn’t the worst lie I’d spat out all day.
I watched my teammates leave, eager to return to Roman Villa. I squeezed my eyes shut for too long then sighed and turned to walk back in when a voice stopped me.
“Denali!” Elijah jogged back, grabbing me by the shoulder. “This fucking sucks.”
“You can say that again.”
“I’m taking some bottles—”
“Elijah, dude.”
“They have Libatique beer. If we’re financially smart, we’ll never touch that shit. Why not grab it while it’s free?”
I shot a wary look at the bar. “I don’t know.”
“The bartenders don’t care, the lights are dimmed. And it’s an open bar! We just take off our jackets, sneak out two bottles, then we’ve got something to celebrate with when we wipe the smirks off of WTU’s faces.”
Any other night, I’d say no. But I was so tired of falling in line just to get stomped on. I pulled out my note cards, running my thumb along the edge, before I tossed them in the trash.
“Fuck it.” I slipped off my jacket. “What’s the worst that can happen?”