Chapter 52
ZARIAH
BECAUSE I’M READY
I took Denali’s hand in my left one and pressed it to my heartbeat. His reaction was audible. His shiver made me breathless, his fingertips dug into my skin, like he didn’t already have my heart. I tilted my head. “Do you want me to guess why you like this?”
His eyes met mine, more dazed than ever before. “Zariah…”
“I think you want me to wear it.” I inched closer, resting on his lap instead of his thighs. It felt like I was at a switchboard. Every move I made, every button I pressed affected him. “I think you want everyone to know I have your ring on my hand.”
I lifted his hand to my throat, feeling the metal on my skin. An idea popped into my head.
“I can’t wear it here—”
“I—I know,” he quickly said, his words rough. “I know—”
“But I could wear it in Atlanta.”
His fingers twitched, moving up my neck. “Atlanta?”
We were teetering on the edge again and it felt so fucking good to bring him here with me. I loved nudging my boundaries for him because I trusted him.
“You really thought we could fake a breakup when we’re playing with engagement rings?” I murmured, hovering above his lips as he panted at the closeness. “How could anyone believe that I don’t want you?”
I kissed him softly and he fastened his fingers around my throat, crashing me to him.
The kisses were frantic, there was no control in them until he forced himself away.
He wanted to be good, wanted to be gentle with me, but I could see him wrestling with the decision.
He kissed me hard again, yanking me closer. We were too wound-up to stop.
“People—people are going to ask what it is,” he prompted between impatient kisses.
I knew what he wanted to hear. “About the ring?” I kissed him again, swiping my tongue along his and he moaned in my mouth. “What should I tell them?”
“Fuck,” he rasped. “Fuck.”
“Who’s going to believe it’s a promise ring?” I murmured.
“What are you going to tell them?” he begged.
“Hm…”
“Zariah.” Kissing me again, he fisted the back of my dress, tightening the fabric until the breath whisked out of me. “Riah, please—”
“What should I tell them?”
“Zariah.”
“I guess I’ll have to tell them the truth.” I gasped. “It’s my husband’s ring. And he’s waiting for me to come home.”
“Goddammit,” he hissed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—”
Denali shook underneath me and it was such a powerful fucking feeling. I loved how he put me on a pedestal, loved my place up there. I loved affecting him like this. More ideas sparked in my mind, it’d be so easy to get Denali off. If this was him excited, I wanted to see him desperate.
I reached between us. His cock was rock-hard against the fabric of his dress pants, and I palmed his length. His hips stuttered, pushing against my hand.
“Do you want a blowjob, baby?” I kissed him from his cheek to his ear, rubbing his cock through the fabric. “I want to suck you off so bad.”
Denali stiffened. “Oh, fuck—Zariah—”
“I want to taste you.” I went to unbutton his pants. “I want my husband’s cum down my throat—”
“Wait—wait—” he choked out. “Zariah, fuck—”
I released him. “Oh, you want to dry hump longer? You want to fuck me with the ring on?”
“Fuck, shit—” Denali swore, digging his fingers into my hips. His voice dipped low, the words scraped together. “No, no, no—”
Denali buried his face in my neck, trembling underneath me. I froze—I had no idea what was happening. Denali had never really told me ‘no’ before.
Was that too far?
It didn’t sound like it was too far. But I didn’t understand why his body was so stiff underneath me, his muscles weirdly tense.
The trembling stopped.
I gazed at his dark, messy hair, confused.
“Denali?” I whispered. “Are…are you okay?”
He said nothing. He was silent.
My eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
Still nothing.
If Denali was uncomfortable, he would’ve said something, right? Why did he want me to stop? What did I do? I stared at him, trying to pinpoint the problem when I realized what happened.
“Oh,” I whispered, eyes widening. “Oh.”
Pleasure flooded through me and I shifted on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. I couldn’t bite back the smirk. I kissed his hair, squeezing him tight, feeling like a fucking goddess.
“Alaska…” I purred. “There’s nothing wrong with—wow. You came in your pants.”
“Fuck,” Denali managed, grinding his teeth.
“That’s so hot—” I kissed his hair again, brimming with happiness. “I made you cum—oh my god, your cock wasn’t even out—”
“Zariah.”
“I made you cum,” I hummed, flushed. “I made you cum—”
Denali pushed back, gazing up at me, his thick lips pressed in a thin line.
My triumph vanished. God, that was a new look.
I didn’t realize how composed he usually was until it was stripped away.
There was a hard light in his eyes, his pride had been stung, and he breathed heavily with each passing second.
Denali grabbed me by the dress and hauled me to the bed, shoving my face down to the blankets. I gasped in surprise. His fingers were on my panties, ripping them down so fast, I was shocked they didn’t tear.
The bed creaked when he dropped to the ground, his arms at my thighs, a sudden wetness touching me between my legs. His tongue plunged into my pussy, and I swore, grabbing the blankets for purchase.
Denali dragged me back, eating me out like he was afraid it’d be his last time, like he was starving for it.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, all I could do was pant while he spread my thighs, fucking me with his tongue. The tension came to a crescendo. I’d been pent up for too long and the release was so fucking welcomed.
“Going to cum—” heaved out of me. “Going to cum, going to cum—”
Denali didn’t reply and I bit out his name in the mess of the blankets, writhing on the bed.
My orgasm swept me away.
Stunned, I gazed into the darkness of the blankets, stretched out on my stomach.
Until hands reached for my hips, pulling me back.
Denali’s cock pushed against me, and I sucked in a breath when he eased inside.
“Oh, fuck!” I gasped. Holy shit—we’d never jumped into penetrative sex like that. I was so sensitive, I couldn’t hold myself up, I was shaking too hard. This was so good and it was so much. And it was so easy for him to slip inside. He was wet—he’d already cum.
I could barely think but the smirk crossed my face anyway.
“Made you cum,” I mumbled, delirious. “I made you cum—”
A hand wrapped around my throat, Denali pressing into my back, leaning over me. His words dipped to something so dark, my stomach swooped. “We’re never talking about that again.”
“Want to do it again,” I whined.
His rhythm picked up and he fucked me into the mattress, unrelenting strokes that brought stars to my eyes. “What was that?”
I couldn’t speak. The corner of my mouth was wet, I drooled into the blankets, fucked beyond belief.
“That’s what I thought you said,” he muttered, weaving his fingers through mine to press our rings together. “You were right. I do want to fuck you with the rings on.”
The orgasm built inside, one piece at a time, the intensity thrusting me into some feeling bigger than myself. I squeezed my eyes shut, wracked with shudders. It was too good—it overwhelmed me until I cried out Denali’s name in my climax.
His cock throbbed inside me, filling me with cum.
It was perfect.
I was so sensitive, I gasped when he eased out and climbed over me, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me close. He tucked my head under his chin, crushing me to him.
The peaceful silence was a comforting blanket. I nestled against him, taking my peace when I could. I was so tired, I wanted to go to sleep, but while the sex had been amazing, I didn’t want Denali to think I was upset with any of that.
My voice was scratchy when I spoke again. “Nothing wrong with cumming early.”
He wove his fingers with mine, our rings overlapping. “Hm.”
“When you said wait, did you want me to stop?”
He grunted. “Hm.”
“Did I push your boundaries?”
“Zariah.” His sigh was heavy as he brought me up to hug me closer. “I was half-talking to myself. I just didn’t want to cum early.”
It was a good thing he couldn’t see my face because I was gloating again. I stroked his hand, tracing the little scars and indents across his skin, lingering at his ring.
Now that we weren’t having active sex and the tension wasn’t choking out common sense, I gazed down at them with a new feeling.
They were so pretty, and they looked so good together, but the longer I lay there, the more I thought about what my family would say if they saw them.
What my friends would say—what everybody would say.
Was I really prepared to wear the ring?
Or fill out the marriage certificate? Or call myself Mrs. Denali Maddox? Was I ready? Because I didn’t feel excitement when I thought about being a newlywed—I felt fucking terrified.
I wasn’t…
I didn’t…
The things I said during sex were things to make Denali happy, that’s all I was thinking about. I didn’t think about the ramifications of what I said. Did Denali know that? Oh, god, what if he didn’t and this was a hard wake-up call? If he had new expectations, I didn’t want to hurt him.
“Denali?”
“Mm?”
“Um, there’s fun dirty talk in the bedroom, but I—I—” I swallowed. “Um, I can’t…properly wear the ring—”
“I know,” he said quietly.
“You—you do?”
“Mm-hmm.”
God, he said that so quickly. Was he trying to appease me or was he serious? Did this hurt him in some way? I couldn’t see his face, I couldn’t tell.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Baby, there’s nothing to say sorry for—”
“I love you, I do. And it’s so hot to talk about this stuff during sex, but I’m not ready for marriage yet, I’m sorry, we should’ve—”
He kissed my hair. “Zariah, I know you’re not ready.”
“What? How do you know?”
“Because I’m ready,” he whispered. “I don’t have to question it. And I know when you’re ready, this’ll feel different.” He pressed me into him. “You take all the time you need. I’ll wait a lifetime for you.”
How much can you love a single person? The love I felt for him was endless. I pushed out of his hold to turn around and hug him back, wrapping myself up in him. Him and his woodsy smell, him and his muscles, him and all of the love I adored.
It wasn’t just that I felt listened to—I felt understood. Denali knew I wasn’t ready, he didn’t push, didn’t pry. He let me decide. It was small but it made all the difference.
“I love you so much,” I whispered. Feverishly, I kissed any part of him I could reach. “We’re not doing a fake whatever breakup.”
“Zariah…if Elijah—”
“Don’t worry about what Elijah says. It’s not worth it. I promise.”
Denali sighed again, his fingers playing along my back. “I don’t want you two to fight.”
“I love him, but I honestly don’t give a fuck what he thinks.
” My stomach clenched at the thought of seeing my brother again, of how angry and sullen he’d become.
I couldn’t believe he acted like that with me.
I shook my head, holding Denali tight. “If he wants to be an asshole, he can be an asshole, alone.”